[identity profile] theregothedrums.livejournal.com
Oh, you humans. So much fuss over a basic feature of your own planet's orbit. A simple little solstice and everyone has a gaudy holiday full of enormous meals, family drama, and decorations everywhere.

Pssst: Spring will come even if you don't throw endless parties. And that won't be a gift from some magical sky fairy either.

I found a fun tradition, though. Somewhere in the school I've hidden a life-size caganer. It's got a few enchantments that might make it easier to find.

There might be a prize involved.
[identity profile] ariemorytwo.livejournal.com
Ariane Emory II, as successor and replicate of the infamous Dr. Ariane Emory, had never been a stranger to controversy. As inheritor of the first Ari Emory's projects, she'd been answerable for all manner of ugly little ethics violations, ranging up to a planetwide experiment turned interstellar scandal (that would be Gehenna).

She shouldn't feel badly about something so small as Hat Shore, against the larger scheme of things.

And she didn't. She didn't feel badly, anyway. She felt ... responsible, certainly; and worried, since the Hat had overridden several of Ari's pointed and emphatic recommendations. Already, one of the contestants on Hat Shore appeared to be eating another's brain.

They were only fourteen people. On Gehenna there were forty thousand.

Still, some of the Hat Shore subjects were people Ari knew personally. And when it got personal, Ari Two had different responses than Ari One would've had.

At the very least, she ought to make it possible for people to communicate with the architects of the Hat Shore experiment. No guarantees the Hat would listen or care, but ... well, people seemed to feel better when they'd done something, even if it was just writing a letter.

She had the house-elves run up little fliers and post them around the school:


Have you seen the newest reality-show sensation? Everybody's talking about

HAT SHORE

Viewers are encouraged to share their opinions and ideas with the production team! Please send your messages via owl or Hogwarts intranet to:

Hat Shore
A Harkonnen-Wolfe Production
c/o Dr. Ariane Emory II
Sparklypoo House
Hogwarts

HatShore@hogwarts.IntraNet.net

[identity profile] ariemorytwo.livejournal.com
sequela@hogwarts.IntraNet.net posted:

Hello. How are you? I am new to Hogwarts and have some questions of the kind new people sometimes think and seldom have the opportunity to ask.

Do you like your House? What is the best thing about it? What is your least favorite thing about it?

Do you like Hogwarts? What is the best thing about it? What is your least favorite thing about it?

What is the funniest thing the Hat has ever done to you or a person you know?

What is the worst thing the Hat has ever done to you or a person you know?

Who is the handsomest man at Hogwarts? Who is the most beautiful woman?

Do you like cheese?

Thank you for your time.
[identity profile] theregothedrums.livejournal.com
((The Master's video game preferences inspired by the wonderful Raven Aorla. Go read a few of her fics. The post will still be here when you get back, I promise!))


Even the Master needs a break from planning to take over the world, and video games were a welcome distraction. Once he'd found out about the computer room (Maddie had certainly been chatty, but in a far more useful manner than some human females) he'd sought it out right away, and had commandeered two of the systems. On one monitor, tiny computer sprites who worshiped him as a god were at war with each other, and on the other, a green scaly monster was rampaging through the complex city he'd spent the morning constructing. That was the most beautiful thing about building things up; getting to see them all come crashing down.

And, of course, playing video games required munchies. The box of truffles that lay so invitingly open on a nearby table otherwise occupied by... were those really dot matrix printers? had been quite tempting.

Really, too tempting. It wasn't until eating his third, which tasted of a fruit that had never set root in Earth soil, that he realized what a mistake he'd made. And by then it was far too late. Having been overcome by a rather giddy and voluble mood, he'd ignored one game and shut down the other in favor of the local intranet.

But you'll need to look to the comments to read what he had to say.

[[ETA: Yes, it's those sorts of chocolates. The ones that only the n00bs and the thrillseekers go near. Your choice of temporary magical effect!]]
[identity profile] charlesofdensen.livejournal.com
Never let it be said that Ofdensen doesn't do his job.

If any Americans plan on setting off fireworks today, please do so on the roof. You are responsible for any injuries or property damage you may cause.

(OOC: Happy 4th of July!)
[identity profile] herscatterheart.livejournal.com
Inside the castle, a table was set for a grand feast, and at the head of the table sat the most handsome prince imaginable. She sat down and ate the feast, but the food tasted like ashes. The prince's tongue flickered in and out of his mouth like a snake's tongue. Scatterheart shook her head.

'You're not my white bear,' she said, and left the castle.


Hannah had found the Hogwarts layout ... confusing. She had become lost multiple times, even finding herself opening a door that held a massive three-headed dog, in a desperate attempt, she had tried shutting the door only to be grazed by a gnashing tooth. The house-elves had helped her to the Hospital Wing to get bandaged. It was an ugly thing, white gauze was around her upper arm with a growing spot of scarlet leaking through. She sighed. Hannah needed help.

One kind house-elf had ushered her to the Computer Lab, where she now sat in her Hufflepuff robes, staring at a white box with a black face. She stared at it as the house-elf explained technology and computers and the specific speed of the 'Internet'. Hannah had never felt so lost, or so stupid. It took a lot of patience and coaching from the house-elf but she finally managed to post a message to the Hogwarts server:

Hello,

My name is Hannah Cheshire; a new student and Hufflepuff. The grounds of Hogwarts have been utterly confusing, and very difficult. I humbly ask if any student would be willing to help me, to show my the grounds so I don't find myself in trouble -- again? I've already had a situation with a giant, three-headed canine, so please, will anyone help me?

I shall await anyone willing, in the Computer laboratory.

Winner!

Jun. 7th, 2010 12:15 am
[identity profile] ringo-raver.livejournal.com
A compy post:

We have a winner for Hogwarts's Best Butt!

And the winner is....

Bucky Katt!

Congratulations, Bucky!
[identity profile] gourmetchairman.livejournal.com
As predicted, his clothes were completely ruined, and he had to scrub a lot to get the sticky feeling off of his skin.

This was an affront to all Kaga's sensibilities.

The school MUST be warned.

Attention students.

Inside the Sorting Room is a creature known as the Molasses Cat. Do not approach him. He is very territorial and will mark you as his property by getting molasses all over you, ruining your clothes and making your skin all sticky.


The above was signed 'FoodIsLove', Kaga's HogwartsNet handle.

Below that, as an anonymous commentor, was this.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
[identity profile] ringo-raver.livejournal.com
Ryuk was bored.

This is never a good thing. This usually leads to Ryuk causing trouble of epic proportions.

As he’s stuck here, he can’t do anything hilarious like being an accomplice in genocide or anything like that, but he loves a bit of discord and bickering among the Hogwarts students. So he puts up a computer post:

Attention students!
Now is the time to nominate yourselves and your fellow students to answer this all important question:


Who has the best ass at Hogwarts?
Polls will be up May 30th, so get your entries in now!

[[OOC: By allowing your character’s name on this poll, you are giving OOC permission for Ryuk to take a picture of your character’s bottom between now and May 30th After much consideration, we decided it'd be lulzier if the MS Paint pictures were literal artist renditions of their asses. In other words, Ryuk drawing what he thinks Kuro's butt looks like. A mun playing a character who is nominating a character the mun him/herself doesn’t play must note OOC permission by the other mun that they can do so.]]
[identity profile] noseymaddie.livejournal.com
Since coding doesn't work in the subject

So, there are known laws of interaction.

One law says that Certain Characters shall have bad dates Interactions.

There's a couple of ways to go fishing for these...

There's approaching people in the Great Hall...

Too obvious



There's the halls...

Too easy



Or the

COMPY LAB



You get the idea that the mun is having too much fun with coding?

Anyways, Maddie is too proud to actually post something like "SWF looking for SM for good conversation and maybe more" but that's what this post should be read as.

What she actually wrote was:
Help a writer do research on the current state of this school. Any information on how it achieved its current state from its former state would be appreciated. Any information would be appreciated. Thank you.


C'mon, baby needs a date...
[identity profile] bigredbernard.livejournal.com
If you see a man or very beefy woman with brown hair carrying around a basket of red beets or a wooden duck, and answers to the name 'Dwight', be careful. This person is not to be trusted.
[identity profile] 12panelwonder.livejournal.com
Owl from Matt to Fuuka )
Owl from Fuuka to Matt )
Owl from Matt to A, Mello, Near, L, and River. )

And finally, a compy post to the entire school.

If you see a man or woman with blond hair carrying around a basket of blue orbs or a sword, and answers to the name 'Apos', be careful. This person is not to be trusted, as he is an indestructible, murderous sadist.
[identity profile] braveexplorer.livejournal.com
Coraline's Secret Santa present had been a lot more surprising than she expected. The baby Acromantula was currently living in a box in her room, being fed by very nervous house elves. Coraline had named her Berry, in the vague hope that giving her a name would make her seem more like a pet and less like a really big spider. It wasn't helping much.

The library had not provided useful advice. The only book Coraline had found with any reference to keeping Acromantulas as pets said 'don't even think about it', and while she privately agreed, it was far too late for that now. So she decided to ask on the compy network instead. Surely someone would know something helpful.

It wasn't a long post. Coraline's written vocabulary was still smaller than her spoken one, and she gave up on spelling 'Acromantula' after the fifth attempt.

Does anyone know how to look after giant spiders?

Signed, Coraline Jones
[identity profile] righteous-pen.livejournal.com
The Baby Sun had been gone for a week, and nothing had spontaneously combusted, been covered in pink sludge or played disturbing music in that time. Mikami had finally accepted that it probably wasn't going to, and that the world around Hogwarts had returned to - comparative sanity.

Which left him free to think of other things. Specifically, the anonymous conversation he'd had on the secret post. He had no idea who the other commenter had been, of course, or whether their circumstances had been anything like his own, whether he should respect or revile them for what they'd admitted. But... God was trying to teach me something. It could have meant anything, it could have been a coincidence, it almost certainly was...

...and still, he couldn't stop thinking about it.

He couldn't just post asking to hear from that commenter again, though. They'd confessed anonymously for a reason, and there were too many other people who'd find it amusing to respond. Something more indirect, then.

Eventually he posted the following, anonymously, in the early morning when there were few people around and not much chance of being caught. Masuyo lay on his lap, occasionally adding remarks like sdffdr and ############# to the post, which he carefully edited out again. He hadn't been quite comfortable leaving her behind.

Have you ever communicated with a god, or other 'higher power', directly or indirectly?

If the communication was indirect, how did you know?

What did they say to you?

Do you believe that your life has a purpose?

Anonymous comments are encouraged. Please do not feel obliged to answer all questions if you don't wish to.


That done, he returned to his room. He'd check back later.
[identity profile] kingbandit.livejournal.com
Jing is a thief. He lives to steal secrets and the representations of grief or pain from their owners. Hogwarts is rife with such secrets, but there is the matter of deciding just what to steal and when and whether he'd truly get away with it.

Then, there is the open challenge he has out to another thief, but the time isn't right yet. So many things happen that keep that particular prize from achieving the value it should have before it's reclaimed.

He's seen the compy lab and wondered about it. Does it hold secrets to steal? The best way to find out is to try. And Jing is one to be rather direct, issuing warnings of his intent. The lab is perfect for this as well.

A brief introductory session, interrupted by a tapestry behind him and the house elf showing him the system bursting into flames, and Jing understands much more than he was shown. In the manner of mischief common to boys and thieves, he makes a post under the name "ODorobou," since he is not one to hide just who and what he is.

Everyone has secrets, things they hide--or think they do--that they don't want anyone else to know. The problem with those secrets is the harder you try to hide them, the more valuable and more vulnerable they become. Unburden yourself. Reveal your secrets and be free of them.


Another fire behind him makes him decide to wait elsewhere, but he'll check back periodically to see just what secrets he collects.

This may be one of the easier heists he's pulled, if it works.
[identity profile] miss-bunny-swan.livejournal.com
In the course of her conversation with Amaranth outside of Sparklypoo a couple of weeks earlier, Miss Swan had told Amaranth she was going to send an owl to the alien man who looked like a man with tentacles, otherwise known as Admiral Zex. And indeed, she had attempted to do so, but no owl in the Owlery had agreed to carry a parchment addressed to "Alien man who look like a man with tentacles," and Miss Swan had not known his name. The thing was, addresses were not necessary for owls. They knew just how to find someone, even if the sender had no clue where the recipient was. However, identification of the recipient was imperative. And so, no matter how many small bags of oddly smelling dried green leaves Miss Swan had offered up, no owl had agreed to take on the job. (Truth be told, even if Miss Swan had known his name was Admiral Zex, she still would have addressed the parchment in the same way.)

What was a woman desperate to make sure she had not chased away her robotic alien lovah Ah-Derek with overly groomed pubes to do? Go to the compy lab, of course!

Under the screen name of gorgeous_pretty_beauty, she posted the following:

TO ALIEN MAN WHO LOOK LIKE A MAN WITH TENTACLES:
Please tell your opinion on hair or no hair in bikini area. What best design? Maybe bald, maybe soul patch, maybe big bush? Please tell everyting!


((Your character need not be an alien, look like a man, or have tentacles to respond, of course!))
[identity profile] fatedjune.livejournal.com
In the Great Hall there are a few posters on the walls, and Rika also posts the same advertisement on the computers. It took a bit longer than Rika expected, but hopefully Coraline will forgive her.

Posted by: CicadaCries

Game Club Signup!
Open to all interested in joining an informal club where we play various games such as the millionaire game or zombie tag, among many others I have collected. The goal of this club is to have fun and organize events so that everyone may have a good time. Suggestions are welcome as the majority of people in this school are adults, so I may not be able to prepare or think of a game idea everyone can enjoy. *Please remember that any adult games suggested must be child friendly*

This game club is based on the one I was a part of back home, so tentative rules for members are as follows:

#1- Aim only for first place.
#2- Make every endeavor to win.


I will owl all interested in being members the date, time, and location of our first club meeting once I see how popular this club could become. Any questions or comments may be sent to me either though owls or the computer post. Please leave your name if you are interested in joining so that you may be contacted later.

-Rika Furude-


On the posters, below this message is a space for people to write their name to sign up, otherwise it is the same as the computer post. (Rika even wrote in blue for the posters to match the post.)
[identity profile] arrogantmage.livejournal.com
(To ensure complete and uncompromised anonymity, Lezard actually went to the trouble of typing this while disembodied. How could he type without fingers? The same way a ghost could move objects, perhaps. Ask the videogame programmers. Alternatively, ask Homsar or the Sorting Hat.)


Who is the gayest man in this school? I have some questions for him.
[identity profile] adm-zex.livejournal.com
Although Zex had set up another date out of curiosity, he hadn't forgotten Amaranth. After all, she was his first human lover ever! It was just a pity she didn't wear clothes- did she wear jewlry? What did she eat? He needed to know so he could proclaim his love.

Buyer Needed.
I need to buy someone a present, but I cannot go to Hogsmead myself. Can someone buy it for me? I also need to figure out what kind of present to get.
If you're interested, let's arrange to meet in person. I always like meeting new people, too! Hee!
-Admiral Zex"


Edit: I have a solution to my problem- thanks to all of you who helped.

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