[identity profile] hogwarts-kojiro.livejournal.com
Today, at noon, every postpubertal person on campus receives a giftwrapped parcel. Inside the parcel is a tube of Fresh Balls ((turn down your speakers)).

Kojiro has not bothered to filter the gift list. Even females and other beings who lack testicles will receive a parcel of Fresh Balls. Only children will not receive one. Instead, children receive a parcel which will contain either a jar of Boudreaux's Butt Paste or a bag of Bertie Bott's Every-Flavor Beans ((mun's choice as to which the child receives)).
[identity profile] i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com
((In short- It's a giant over-the-top wedding party with a Dethklok concert for characters to enjoy and do whatever- the whole school's been invited. It should be noted that Dethklok's music is known to have a almost magical effect- they've driven audiences insane, raised trolls, caused hurricanes, etc. Half the food's been spiked by Valentine, choose your poison if desired! This was a group-written bit of epic TL;DR with permission received from all characters mentioned- sorry about the length, but there's a lot going on! The dragons arrive at the very end of the party- they mark 'the end' so to say, and are mostly just torching everything but the DETHTOWER, They're not assaulting any random chars, so there's no reason for anyone to interfere with them, it's basically 'under control'. . . =D ))

Certain human traditions are nearly universal- in most any culture, the concept of marriage can be found in one form or another. And in most of these cultures, marriages involve weddings. The Baron Vladimir Harkonnen and Lord Valentine Wolfe knew this as well as anyone, and, also knew exactly what a wedding actually was. Although many of the common masses felt weddings to be a wonderful, romantic celebration of a couple's love and commitment, both of these noblemen knew that a wedding was actually a huge, memorable party- memorable being key- intended to make a public statement. Although the exact nature of this statement varied from situation to situation, Vladimir and Valentine were well-aware that their union was making the best statement, which basically summed up to "We're better than you, we have more fun than you, and if you fuck with either of us, you fuck with both of us." Obviously, this statement had to be accompanied by a party of unforgettable proportion.

An epic account of the wedding extravaganza follows. . . )
[identity profile] ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com
The Sorting Hat kept up with the trends! It knew that the world was scheduled to end on May 21, and all the righteous would be uplifted to Heaven.

Since the Sorting Hat knew itself to be the wisest and most righteous being of all, it came to the most logical conclusion.

Upon waking from a nap on the afternoon of the 21st, and realizing it was still at Hogwarts, the Hat understood that it was already in Heaven.

Hogwarts was heaven.

"Halos and harps for everyone!" the Hat decreed.

And so it was. House elves brought everyone gilt halos and strap-on wings and hand-held harps, or autoharps, or the occasional harmonica (the house elves had taken to tasing one another for fun, and their mental acuity was not what it once was). The Great Hall (still home to the wax display of Hatsguard Heroes, mind you) was bedecked in white draperies, tinsel, and leftover battle fog from the Harkonnen Dining Experience machines (the Hat felt this would create a cloudlike effect). Angel food cake and ambrosia were the evening meal. Oh, and cans of Red Bull ((at player suggestion, because it GIVES YOU WINGS)).

Debbie Gibson's BELINDA CARLISLE's "Heaven Is a Place on Earth" was piped through WART, the insipid soundtrack of Hat Heaven. Alternating with the Elvenking cover of same ((thanks to Igor-mun)).
[identity profile] engravedonsouls.livejournal.com
Lenneth's eyes roamed the room she found herself in. Her wings were spread, pristine white and almost shining. She did not move a muscle for mere moments ago she had been with her sisters and allies, standing before Lezard in his twisted world. Her right hand is held till over the hilt of her blade, waiting for some sign of hostilities.

None came, and the Goddess allowed herself to relax. Her wings vanished, only a couple feathers falling the the ground around her. Normally used to show that a fallen warrior was chosen to fight for the gods, Lenneth cannot help but spare them a moments glance as she recalled times when that was all she was meant for.

Allow me to elucidate. )

[["I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Lenneth Valkyrie
I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Lenneth Valkyrie.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Lenneth Valkyrie.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. Lenneth Valkyrie"]]

[identity profile] chipsandwich.livejournal.com
Stepping through a doorway and finding himself somewhere totally unexpected was... well, not entirely outside of his experience. Out of the ordinary, maybe, but not his ordinary.
Still, being alone in an unfamiliar place was unsettling, and as he set to examine the room, he hoped that his friends were just out of sight. "Rani? Sarah Jane?" He'd been with them just moments ago, hadn't he? "Luke?" And, a long shot, but possible: "Maria?"
And since he was suddenly in a place that wasn't merely unfamiliar but that somehow felt strange, "Doctor? Is this one of your... things?"

That was when he spotted the quill and parchment. )

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ______CL______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____CL______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ______CL_____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____CL________"
[identity profile] theregothedrums.livejournal.com
It's been a while, all you wayward children of Hogwarts. I think it's time for a little more... music.

Uh-oh, he sounds happy. )

((ETA: Eventual NSFW in the Ten/Master thread))
[identity profile] vislor-turlough.livejournal.com
They were still bugging him, those visions. The more he thought about it, the more he thought that it was from his future all right, but he wanted to be sure. The Doctor wouldn't tell him, and Turlough wouldn't blame him for it, but he wanted to know.

So it was to the professor of divination he turned to.

Turlough knocked on the door.
[identity profile] nize-hat.livejournal.com
((Maxim has a very thick Eastern European derived accent- I apologize if it gets confusing. Maxim is a 'Jägermonster' - they doesn't really have any special 'powers' persay, but have superhuman strength and resiliency as well as highly enhanced senses of smell (and hearing in Maxim's case). His right arm is mechanical, but, doesn't appear to be 'special', merely a functional replacement (unless something's yet to be revealed in his canon).))

"Vell now, dis iz confuzink. . . Oggie? Dimo? Vere are hyus?"

What appeared on a glance to be a quite attractive young man appeared in the Sorting Room, looking very perplexed- that he had purple skin and pointed ears were immediate evidence that he was something other than human. Aside from the bluish scales and silver spikes on the single pauldron he wore, he was perfectly coordinated in purple and red, with gold accents. He adjusted the jaunty wide-brimmed hat atop his long purple hair, attempting to figure out where he was. Moments before, he'd been in audience with the Jägergenerals, and now, he was. . . somewhere castle-y.

"Am hy in de kestle, mebbe? Hullo, Miz Agatha? Are hyu here?" Maxim, the newest arrival at Hogwarts, could only think of one nearby castle, which did happen to contain a good-enough explanation as to why he might suddenly appear there. Where sparks were concerned, anything might happen. But, it didn't take more than a few seconds for Maxim to notice the utter lack of gears, clanks, the previously mentioned individuals, and, anything remotely sparky. "Dis is kind ov fonny. . ." he mumbled to no one in particular, as the realization that he was Somewhere Else began to set in. Sudden transportation to Somewhere Else was pretty odd, but, odd was a matter of course when dealing with mad science- and Maxim was not only used to mad science, he was a product of it.

Read more... )

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Maxim
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Maxim
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Maxim
One day, marmalade hats Heterodynes will rule the world. Maxim
[identity profile] vislor-turlough.livejournal.com
Having gotten nowhere with his visions, Turlough had decided to consult a library. He supposed it would be related to Divination, but he didn't want to bother Kusuriyuri yet, and he definitely didn't want to bother the Doctor if it turned out to be the-well, his-future.

Alas, he would never make it to the library, for there was someone with...plans for him.

[[WARNING: Torture]]
[identity profile] vislor-turlough.livejournal.com
Well, he doesn't know about anyone else, but all Turlough got out of the Hat Shore experiment was a bloody headache and dubious trust in Kojiro.

Well, and visions he didn't quite get.

Frankly, he was surprised he had actually gotten one, he thought that had just been something said to make that obstacle sound cool.

But that he saw something couldn't have been coincidental.

Had he inadvertently seen a piece of the future? (Had to have been, otherwise why would it have been his Doctor and Master?)

And if so, who was that Earth girl and that dark haired man who was a stranger yet seemed so familiar? And what did the brand on his arm have to do with it?

His musings took him to the tree he had asked A to grow as payment for building the greenhouses, the one that was Earth in origin but greatly resembled one at home. Suddenly he felt homesick.
[identity profile] ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com
(( OOC: The CWB event is going so well! Everyone is being awesome and now it's time to wrap it up. We definitely have enough attackers, with enough luck, to defeat the bear. Since we have so many separate fight threads going on but there is only one Canadian Weasley Bear, we thought we should bring it all together. To avoid getting hung up on posting order, here's how it will work:

One of the fighters posts a comment
|
The Hat account replies for the Bear
|
Any other fighter replies to that Bear comment
|
The Hat account replies again for the Bear
|
Any other fighter replies to that comment

Etc, until we think the Bear has been vanquished! This way we keep it all in one thread, but we also avoid getting stalled by posting order. The Bear will be played with speed by mods who've subscribed to the thread, so that there won't be a lag on the Bear's side. Make sense? If not, give us a shout. ))

Scores thus far, in order of success: )

***
our story thus far!!! )

Time to take this ginger menace down.
[identity profile] ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com
The dome was supposed to be indestructable. Hat magic trumped almost every power known to man or god, here on the Hat's turf.

Yet there was a creature the Hat was known to fear.

The Canadian Weasley bear.

In which the Canadian Weasley bear is discussed )

It started by attacking the dome — the last place the scent of the other bear's pelt could be detected. (Elric had given the pelt to Ariane Emory as a superlatively romantic Valentine's Day gift. Ari, learning of its origin, hadn't wanted it around any longer, and stashed it within the dome. Ironically, she'd done so in the belief the impregnable and invulnerable dome would be the safest place to hide such an artifact.)

Spiders poured from the bear's mouth in an unending stream. Some skittered through the gash the bear's claws were tearing in the dome.

Where was Elric of Melniboné, whose Stormbringer might stand a chance against the Canadian Weasley bear? Where was Ariane Emory, who could've deduced what the bear was after?

in which it is explained why Stormbringer is unavailable to save the day )

The Hat Shore cast was on its own. They would have to fend off the Canadian Weasley bear. They couldn't die trying, thanks to the protective enchantments on the Hogwarts grounds, but any close encounter with a Canadian Weasley bear could get ugly pretty quickly in painful and nightmarish ways exclusive of death.

Conveniently, Kojiro was nowhere to be seen ...

((OOC note: The Canadian Weasley bear / TerrorBear can be written as an NPC in any of the Hat Shore contestants' tags. As with Yoda Boot Camp, when attacking the Canadian Weasley bear, go to random.org and use the number generator on the front page, 1 to 100, on the subject line of each first event post for your character. This determines the success of your attack or tactic, on a scale from 1 = complete failure and your character taking damage from a bear counterattack, to 100 = critical hit with impunity.

Try not to KO the bear immediately, so everyone who wants to play can have a chance :) Creative and/or amusing tactics are welcome, along with involvement from dropbears and tree octopi. Small fires will erupt in the bear's footprints, and the bear will continue to drool spiders until KOed.

If the Hat Shore cast doesn't collectively manage to stop the bear, Something Else will happen. If they do manage to stop the bear, Something Magical will happen.

Live broadcast will be shown in the Great Hall. Characters capable of escaping the castle to attack the bear from outside the dome may do so. The rest should remain indoors since the Hat will have battened down the proverbial hatches and raised an alarm.))
[identity profile] hogwarts-kojiro.livejournal.com
Ask Dean Winchester, and he might tell you he'd escaped the Hat Shore dome. Ask the Sorting Hat, and it might tell you Dean just wasn't entertaining enough for the Hat's liking. (More shirtlessness would have pleased the Sorting Hat.) On the one hand, the Dome was unbreakable; on the other hand, the night of Dean's departure, the Dome had been open for visitors to come and go freely.

The nature of the departure was not covered on the show, either by Ari's voiceover or by Elric the Adjudicator's in-house admonishments.

What did happen openly was this: the Sorting Hat, inspired by other reality shows, decided to introduce a new housemate, one chosen for maximum drama.

It was none other than the Headmistress' secretary, Hogwarts' own resident samurai ninja king, Kojiro the enigmatic.

He moved into the room Dean used to share with Turlough — but did he sleep there? He seemed to be everywhere but his own room. Perpetually shirtless, Kojiro would sit on the living-room sofa oiling his bare and hairless chest with Johnson's Baby Oil. He would nap in others' beds while they were off doing other things during the daytime. He would also short-sheet others' beds. Perhaps someone had given Kojiro some kind of handbook on stereotypical summer-camp pranks.

It was unlikely anyone had fallen for it when Kojiro covered the toilet bowl with clingfilm.

Of course, there was never any proof Kojiro had done these things (though the cameraman quite often captured Kojiro's antics for the viewers' benefit). Except for the clear oily smudges his baby-oiled hands might leave, he had no real calling card to leave. But who else to blame? None of this stuff was happening before Dean left and Kojiro joined Hat Shore!

The time had come. Feeling obligated in his erstwhile Prefectly role, Beowulf called a House Meeting.

Everyone was invited except Kojiro, who'd taken the limo back to the school for the night. Adding insult to injury, Kojiro was allowed to leave the dome anytime he wanted.
[identity profile] ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com
Hat Shore party planning had ended up falling mostly into the hands of a couple of contestants, along with set designer Jherek Carnelian. These 'couple' of contestants were actually the Shoggies and Beowulf, who'd squelched and shouted their way toward transforming Hat Shore into a strange Under The Sea experience.

the lagoon )

the musical stylings of the Shoggies )

refreshments )

CAKETOWN )

the Lonely Hearts Club: speed-dating amidst the battle fog )

And so, on the night of Feb. 14th, Hat Shore's doors were opened to the whole of Hogwarts for the festivities.
[identity profile] ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com
Clearly, the residents of Hat Shore needed something to do to keep from getting restless, much like a giant hamster ball. But once the idea of shoving everybody into a giant hamster ball had been nixed, the next best thing had been arranged: a boot camp! It would get everybody out into the open air, give everyone a chance to burn off energy, and provide a good laugh to all and sundry.

Being a wise and all-knowing and general busybody of a Hat who could indeed read minds while Sorting (even if it liked talking for talking's sake), the Hat had the perfect candidate in mind to be drafted into its fun. A few consultations were made, owls were exchanged, and Yoda, former Grand Master of the Jedi Order, found himself in charge of Hat Shore's Boot Camp.

Hat Shore goes to camp. Not a happy camp. )

((Yoda will be available upon request--please note so in the subject line of your reply.

In order to pick a winner, the mods request that participating contestants go to random.org and use the number generator on the front page, 1 to 100, on the subject line of each first event post for your character. We will be operating on an honor system. At 11 p.m. US Eastern time on Wednesday, February 9, the mods will be totaling up the numbers and determining the winner thusly. Any further IC interactions--races, dueling, etc.--should be handled as usual, with communication between players to determine what, if anything, they wish to happen.

Have fun with each other and the environment!))
[identity profile] ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com
The contestants are led from the limos to the house ... )

The pairs were:

  • Bad Boyz 4 Lyfe: Bucky Katt and Kuronue, room 2.

  • SnarkBros: Vislor Turlough and Dean Winchester, room 7.

  • Pretty in Pink: Cathy Dollanganger and the Shoggies, room 1.

  • Team Beefcake: Beowulf Ecgtheowsson and Captain Jack Harkness, room 3.

  • Bat and Bait: The Scout and Adam Milligan, room 4.

  • Sparkle and Kimono: George St. Bartleigh and Sanada Yukimura, room 6.

  • Team Estrogen: Glorificus and Maddie Magellan, room 5.




Once the entire group of fourteen was assembled, the house-elves herded them into the Hat Shore house's dining room, where each was required to sit in a suspensor chair. A map of Arrakis hanging on the dining-room wall revealed its true purpose: it wasn't a map, it was a television screen! The desert geography dissolved into the familiar interior of Hogwarts' own Great Hall, with Ariane Emory somberly gazing into the camera, microphone in hand.

Welcome to Hat Shore. )

Elric the Adjudicator lays down the laws )

Before anyone could pose a question about the rules, the Adjudicator raised a hand to ward off such foolish attempts. "Questions will not be taken at this time. Rules are not up for debate. Contestants, to your rooms! Craft supplies await you!"

And indeed they did. Tons of craft supplies had been brought to each room by the house elves while the contestants were listening to Elric. Many colors of felt, glitter and glue, ample markers and butcher paper, a bulletin board for each room, and -- the pièce de resistance -- each room had its very own Bedazzler.
[identity profile] iam-beowulf.livejournal.com
On the day of the Hufflepuff-hosted potluck, the Great Hall had been transformed to accommodate the event, courtesy of Skwisgaar, a few of his bandmates, and several other helpful volunteers from Hufflepuff -- and one Ravenclaw. Skwisgaar and Toki's adoptive dragon-son, Smaug, had assisted with arranging some of the heavier items.

(Beowulf hadn't been much help at all; he was busy worrying about missing Yule Goat gifts, and haranguing house-elves to bring him replacements so no one would go ungifted. Many copies of the Tarvunty would be given out, from the sound of it.)

The enchanted ceiling of the hall offered an unobstructed view of the evening sky: clouds painted in brilliant shades of coral and lavender, fading to pale gold toward the horizon.

Luxurious black satin tablecloths covered the rows of tables, and places were set with exquisite crystal goblets and sterling silver cutlery. Elegant candelabras were scattered across the tables, and a much greater multitude of candles had been enchanted to hang in the air like fireflies -- and not drip wax -- at such a height that only Smaug might be in peril of bumping into any. Deep crimson draperies adorned the tall windows, tied back with black cords.

Several enormous fountains featuring somewhat morbid sculptures had been placed around the hall, quietly flowing with red wine, and there was also an assortment of tall fir trees, festively decorated for the Yule holiday.

A, Skwisgaar, and Beowulf all had places of honour at the head of separate tables: the Hufflepuff prefects' chairs were draped with graceful lengths of black and gold velvet, and the Gryffindor prefect's with red and gold velvet, to set them apart from the rest.

One row of tables had been designated exclusively for food and drink, and they were differentiated by their crimson tablecloths. Per Skwisgaar's request, Berwald Oxenstierna had been hard at work all day preparing a proper Swedish smörgåsbord: there was gravlax, kroppkakor, Swedish meatballs (of course), pickled herring, a variety of tasty items for open faced sandwiches, ostkaka, waffles with a selection of toppings (jam, whipped cream, ice cream), chokladboll, and kladdkaka. A had been equally busy, preparing a roast lamb, brussels sprouts, panettone, and, also by Skwisgaar's request, homemade lingonberry jam. In addition, a small area was set up with stacks of fresh baked butter cookies, along with bowls of icing and various toppings to decorate them with, should any guests wish to.

The presence of Valentine Wolfe, who had arrived with Vladimir Harkonnen to deliver the booze ahead of time, assured that several of these items would undoubtedly be drugged, unbeknownst to any of the prefect hosts.

Outdoors, on the lawn, wood was piled high for Beowulf's festive bonfire. He had tried to transfigure it all into one gigantic Yule log, with little success; here and there, the lengths of lumber appeared to have melted into one another and recongealed into their proper consistency, but it was still just a pile of firewood for the most part. Overenthusiastic house elves had added bits of furniture to the firewood. A safe distance from the firepit, a sleigh sat mired in mud; it was filled with nothing but heaps of fur robes. When dinner was over, Beowulf would blow his golden horn and lead the revelers out to light the fire.

But first: food! and the exchanging of presents!


(( OOC note: Any item may be safe or may have been spiked by Valentine, at your wish. If spiked, the nature of the character's altered state is entirely up to the player. Since we already have a chocolate plot running thanks to the enchanted water, Valentine's spiked goodies may alter or nullify the effects that the enchanted water may have induced. as the player sees fit. Or it may leave those effects in place and simply add another simultaneous effect. The more, the merrier.

One more thing: If your characters become inclined toward NSFW action, please split it into a separate post rather than RPing the NSFWness in the party post. Ditto for anything triggery -- anything that you'd normally put a warning on. Putting it in a separate post as a closed RP means you can put the appropriate warning right on the label, with a nice LJ-cut for everyone's protection. ))
[identity profile] serrulata.livejournal.com
They'd raced through the dungeon, Kuronue taking the West end, Kurama the East, and by the time they met up again, every water pipe in the place was glowing a different color. Some were even alight with colors that didn't even exist, or sparkled and dripped in disconcerting ways.

"Excellent," Kurama grinned, shoving his wand back into its holster. "I wonder what'll happen once the sprinklers go on in the greenhouses."

There was a long pause of contemplation.

"I think you might wanna take a day or two off work," Kuronue said, catching a distant tinkle of glass as something in that general area broke. Or, broke free.

"D'you think we might not have planned this out too carefully?" Kurama asked.

Another long pause.

“Still, you know... No need to get tentacle raped or something.” Kuronue looked oddly pleased at the possibility of such happening however. Especially since he knew it was possible.

Well, it was Kurama.

((OOC - Kuro socking done with mun approval. Basic chocolate plot rules apply, all the water in the school is magicked, cursed, charmed, and so forth, all with different effects up to the mun. Have fun!))

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