[identity profile] lemondrop-party.livejournal.com
(( this post is for entertainment purposes only. Albus is not a real therapist. Admittedly inspired by nonsensical sidechat.))

Albus Dumbledore felt he should be doing more on behalf of the children and adults of New Hogwarts. (That was how he sometimes thought of the school, in the Hat-ruled state it had either enjoyed or suffered for some time — oh, it had been years, true; but he had been at Old Hogwarts, proper Hogwarts, for decades longer than the current order had endured, with its Furby and its Kojiro. The change would always feel new to him.)

Perhaps these older students did not need his guidance, or his magical tutelage. Perhaps all he could offer was a cup of tea, a listening ear or a shoulder berobed in absorbent purple WizardGard (the better to wick away tears from the face of a sobbing friend). But offer it he should, and must!

So little fliers were sent out.


Are you oppressed by gloom or doubt?
Do you feel alone in this world?
Would you like a lemondrop or a digestive biscuit?

Know that you are welcome to visit
the office of Professor Emeritus Dumbledore.
[identity profile] gourmetchairman.livejournal.com
It was quiet in the Gryffindor common room.

Was.

In a cloud of Floo Powder Chairman Kaga came out, singing.

He had accepted an invitation from his old friend the Duke of Brissac to celebrate his birthday with him, an invitation he accepted with eagerness.

A good time was had by all the guests, and he was returning a day later, still buzzed from all the wine he drank (and in fact he had a bottle with him for later) and in a merry mood.
[identity profile] i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com
((In short- It's a giant over-the-top wedding party with a Dethklok concert for characters to enjoy and do whatever- the whole school's been invited. It should be noted that Dethklok's music is known to have a almost magical effect- they've driven audiences insane, raised trolls, caused hurricanes, etc. Half the food's been spiked by Valentine, choose your poison if desired! This was a group-written bit of epic TL;DR with permission received from all characters mentioned- sorry about the length, but there's a lot going on! The dragons arrive at the very end of the party- they mark 'the end' so to say, and are mostly just torching everything but the DETHTOWER, They're not assaulting any random chars, so there's no reason for anyone to interfere with them, it's basically 'under control'. . . =D ))

Certain human traditions are nearly universal- in most any culture, the concept of marriage can be found in one form or another. And in most of these cultures, marriages involve weddings. The Baron Vladimir Harkonnen and Lord Valentine Wolfe knew this as well as anyone, and, also knew exactly what a wedding actually was. Although many of the common masses felt weddings to be a wonderful, romantic celebration of a couple's love and commitment, both of these noblemen knew that a wedding was actually a huge, memorable party- memorable being key- intended to make a public statement. Although the exact nature of this statement varied from situation to situation, Vladimir and Valentine were well-aware that their union was making the best statement, which basically summed up to "We're better than you, we have more fun than you, and if you fuck with either of us, you fuck with both of us." Obviously, this statement had to be accompanied by a party of unforgettable proportion.

ExpandAn epic account of the wedding extravaganza follows. . . )
[identity profile] lemondrop-party.livejournal.com
Dumbledore felt that no one should go without a gift on Christmas Day.

Therefore, he sent to each and every student of the school a new pair of fuzzy socks. Every student, even the nonhuman ones and the very large ones. The socks ought to fit. Dumbledore was famed as the greatest wizard of his generation, and all that!

All members of the Order of the Phoenix also received from Dumbledore an additional gift, likewise enchanted to fit the wearer.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
[identity profile] ukon-sakon.livejournal.com
On a stage was where they belonged, performing, whether for a large crowd in a formal performance or for a small group on the side of the street during festival. Performance gave them purpose, direction; it was their life.

With some help from the ever willing house elves, a stage was set up at the end of the Great Hall. The only advertising was a sign outside the Hall that explained what would be happening within and the hours marked. The house elves also procured a recording of the chant for a particular play that appealed to both Sakon and Ukon—it was enough of a challenge to be suitable practice for one who would, someday, take the place of a national treasure and was flamboyant enough to satisfy a need for attention.

Sakon dressed traditionally, a kimono and hakuma in dark sober colors. He was part of the background, the setting, nothing more. His hands rested on his knees, gathering himself, preparing himself for what was to come, to channel the character through his hands, through Ukon.

Ukon waited on a stand beside Sakon's knee. His clothing, in stark contrast to Sakon's, was bright orange and red with shibori maple leaves falling over his shoulders and the hemline. His obi was a vivid red, matching his hair. On the stand, he was limp, lifeless, merely a puppet, though exquisitely made. Just behind him, in a hole in the stand, a spear, bright metal head, a red tassel hanging from the rope that bound the head to the staff.

Sakon took a deep breath, his head coming up, his expression passively neutral as he reached for Ukon. As he touched the puppet, life flowed into Ukon. Ukon looked out onto his audience as Sakon moved the stand behind them, removing the staff. He set it on the ground near his legs.

A drum began with a slow rhythm, a flute in a high warbling over it. A male voice, rich and round, began the chant, a story that Ukon acted out even as the voice told of it in verse.

ExpandThe story unfolds )

The silence at the end of the recording was so deep that it seemed that Sakon held his breath until the moment passed. Ukon rose, his hands free of the spear, and they both bowed to those who had decided to watch.

Rather than returning Ukon to the stand, as would be traditional, Sakon kept the puppet with him.

((OOC: Feel free to have your pups speak to each other or to Sakon and Ukon. I'll reply to tags that are obviously directed to the duo.))
[identity profile] chinasorrows.livejournal.com
((OOC: In the Skulduggery Pleasant canon, when a person first sees China Sorrows, they fall instantly in love. The ability isn't gender bias, it will affect men and women equally. In addition, within the canon, is the susceptibility to control somone once their name is known. These abilities may or may not affect the characters at Hogwarts if that is the mun's preference. If you think it will be fun to play into it, e.g. to let a character fall for China, then you'll need to let me know through OOC or pm. For more information on China, check her user profile. Her mun.))

China Sorrows; her hair, black as deepest sin, framed her face while her eyes, as pale as her brother’s had been, scanned the sorting room. The heavy doors closed behind her with a soft fwump. The skirt she wore was a light green, and the jacket was of a green deeper than a thousand crushed emeralds. Her necklace was exquisite, having cost two very fine men their lives. At times, she wore it as a tribute to their sacrifice. Other times, she wore it because it went well with the skirt.

China walked to the desk at the far end of the room, situated below the large arched windows that overlooked the lush grounds of the castle. When she sat down in the chair the quill, having been unanimated next to a scruffy piece of parchment, became animated, standing at attention on its gold-point. China eyed it. A small smile graced her lips. She noticed that as she leant in to read the parchment, the quill was slowly turning clockwise on the desktop, grinding into the grain. Curious, she thought.

At the parchment’s top it explained that any verbal answers would be written down by the quill. The addendum and questions were all written in the elegant, Edwardian script. She was intrigued. She read on.

ExpandAllow me to elucidate... )

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus  faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. __China Sorrows__
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. __China Sorrows__.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. __China Sorrows__.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. __China Sorrows__"
[identity profile] fr-ickingbig.livejournal.com
He really should have known better than to talk to Seaborgium. Right below that rogue Tungsten, and more than ten times as elusive. And really, it shouldn't have been suprising that the Periodic wound up in unfamiliar territory when following him around, and then being left. Francium stepped forward a few feet, carefully shying away from any humans or monsters. Normally monsters never made it past the parenthesis or whatever they were called, so getting back to the forest shouldn't be that hard.

But despite keeping distance, the silver horse would undoubtedly attract attention. For one, he could readily be described as humongous, much larger than the most impressive stallions. He was like two ponies stacked on top of each other, really, and every hoofbeat made the floor beneath him creak. Anyone turning to look could also see the big black Fr on one side of him, and that his flesh rippled like a pool of water.

Upon reaching a table, the horse peered down at the floating quill. "I don't like this place," he stated matter-of-factly. Yes, it could talk. His front legs bent so he could get a closer look at the quill, which seemed to be transcribing what he said. Huh. And what was this application thing?

Francium decided to give it a shot. maybe this would make the human scientists finally get a visible sample of his element.

ExpandThese are strange questions. ) I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ____Fr_____
I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ___Fr______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____Fr____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______Fr_
[identity profile] trader-sayar.livejournal.com
((If you don't know the Tradewinds games, they're frightfully addictive. I enjoyed playing Rihana so much that I thought I'd app her here. She's from Tradewinds: Legends by Sandlot Games.))

A ship is sailing toward Hogwarts. Not on the lake--on the air. It's a stately, beautiful ship with a prow like a dragon's head. It comes to a rest beside the tallest tower, where a few House Elves make it fast, and a ramp descends from the ship to the window of the Sorting Room. A woman dressed in the finest silks appears and descends into the room. This is Rihana Sayar.

She's very attractive and young, appearing to be only in her early twenties. In spite of her expensive clothing and youth, though, there's deep sadness in her eyes, and from the roughness of her hands, one might guess she has worked for her wealth. She carries about her the scent of sea air, spices, and gunpowder.

Rihana looks around as she enters the Sorting Room, not appearing to be thrown in any way by the strangeness. Well, not until she looks at the application. One might guess she was expecting something quite different indeed.

ExpandWhat does this have to do with the price of salt in Sabrallaj? )

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ____RS________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____RS_______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____RS______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____RS________"
[identity profile] i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com
((Jasper's inclusion with permission and additions of his player. If you require Vlad's attention, please say something to this extent in the comment subject line so I don't somehow miss it, thanks!))

The Baron Vladimir Harkonnen wanted his first class to be practical and entertaining, so he had chosen "An Introduction to Muggle Weaponry" as the topic. In order to make the class interesting, he'd decided it would be a hands-on experience, and had negotiated with Basher Tarr to obtain an assortment of Muggle weapons, mainly a quantity of AK-47 assault rifles, along with plenty of ammunition. These had been marked with stenciled letters declaring them "Property of the Muggle Studies Department", and were now stacked up neatly on a table at the front of the room, near some crates bearing the same lettering, and a rocket launcher. A section of the room had been magically expanded, and turned into an indoor firing range, complete with human-shaped targets, and the usual classroom area was equipped with rows of neatly-lined desks.

The Baron remained in a large, comfortable chair at the front of the classroom, his assistant Jasper beside him, and chatted quietly with him about a few details of the lesson plan as he waited for the last students to arrive and seat themselves at the desks. When it seemed that no more were going to appear, he floated up and shut the door with a flick of his wand. The deep, melodic basso of his voice carried easily over the chatter.

"Welcome to Muggle Studies. The subject we'll be covering today is potentially dangerous, so pay attention!"ExpandRead more... )
[identity profile] i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com
The first portion of a two-part Muggle Studies class will be held on Saturday the 24th of October. The subject will be An Introduction to Modern Muggle Weaponry, and as such, it may be somewhat dangerous. If you have problems with loud noises or strange moral issues regarding warfare, it is advised that you do not attend. This will be a practical class, and as such, will be hands-on experience. Arrive on time, and prepared to pay attention. In order to assure that I will have enough equipment prepared for everyone, sign up on this roster if you plan to attend. Sign up for Part 2 will be separate, and at a later date.

Baron Vladimir Harkonnen (Professor)


((Part 1 of the class isn't the war game- that'll be Part 2. Just a clarification as this was asked in chat, but I was afk at the time.))
[identity profile] nordic-stoic.livejournal.com
I wish there was a long, flowery description of why this was happening, but what it boils down to is this:

Sweden went to Admiral Zex's Diversity Hot Tub thing. Sweden said "s'nas r'b'tt'r." And Sweden headed in the direction of the sauna to prove his point.

With his clothes neatly folded up in the next room (and his glasses safely tucked in his pants pocket), Sweden wrapped himself up in a towel to make good use of the sauna.

God help him.
[identity profile] a-grave-man.livejournal.com
 ((You want classic characters, you got it. Also, I'm aware that the pic is of a modern version of the guy.))

Mercutio sort of spaced out in the sorting room, admiring everything.

"Such gleeful creations; such would be touched by the very hand of God himself, were this not but a mortal design!" ...Right. The man picked up one of the application forms, and again got transfixed--the dictaquill had written out his words, complete with fancy script. "Impossible! Inconceivable? This marvelous creation..." Scribe scribe. "copies me as if but a child, eager to imitate its father in all regards."

Then he actually looked at the app.

ExpandTL;DR )
[identity profile] mindwiper-et.livejournal.com
Evan blinked, looking down at his hands and realizing that, somehow, he was back in his own adult body. His hair wasn't the wild mop that he'd had in Sunnyvale Institution and he had his real clothes back.

As used as he was by now to regaining consciousness in absolutely strange situations, he honestly expected something different to happen after having sacrificed himself in his mother's womb.

He didn't have any answers as to what result it had gotten him -- whether his mother, Lenny, Tommy -- Kayleigh or even Thumper were at all okay. God, he hoped so.

Evan let out a breath and then another, collecting himself. He was more than used to this crap by now. He would deal. He had to. Looking around and getting his bearings, Evan's eyes tracked across a desk with parchment and a quill sitting ready.

Noting the sconces on the walls, Evan put two and two together and figured he had possibly gone back quite a few centuries more than he'd meant to, thus possibly erasing himself from the timeline altogether.

Well, hell, it was still the intended result. Evan walked over to the table, noting a series of questions written on the parchment. A survey? What the hell year is it, anyway?"

Picking up the quill and playing with it, one-handed, Evan read over the series of questions, figuring he obviously had some time to kill. He might as well write something in the meantime. Maybe that paper he had been meant to turn in before Kayleigh's funeral. After the questions, of course.
ExpandThis can't be any weirder than anything else I've done... )
[identity profile] dangerous-pets.livejournal.com
((I consulted the other HP muns.))

The castle door slammed open abruptly and a giant of a man sporting wild tangles of hair and an overgrown beard came galumphing inside. "I'm back!" he bellowed in a voice that might have shaken the walls had Hogwarts been made of less stern stuff.

No one acknowledged the giant's presence until he found himself walking into a room he did not recognize. There he found an application, with the Dictaquill floating above it.

"What's this, then?" he asked, watching in dismay as the quill wrote his words. "Peeves? Is this yer idea of a joke?"

The quill wrote all this down, then hovered at the beginning of the application, seeming impatient to get on with things.

Rubeus Hagrid--for this was the identity of the giant--shrugged his massive shoulders. "All righ'. What the hell," he said.


ExpandNEVER INSULT ALBUS DUMBLEDORE IN FRONT OF ME! )

"I have read the [livejournal.com profile] hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Rubeus Hagrid
I have read the [livejournal.com profile] hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Rubeus Hagrid
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Rubeus Hagrid
One day, marmalade will rule the world. Rubeus Hagrid
[identity profile] rat-bstrd.livejournal.com
The small young man paced back and forth in his cell. He'd already inspected everything in the room. The chair and the table could be used as weapons. If he stood beside the door long enough, he could hit whoever came in and escape. But if he did that, he still might not get out anyway. Better to patiently wait and listen to what they had to say, even if he lost the element of surprise.

Right now they were probably torturing Sage and would kill her and he'd never see her again and it was all his fault and they'd come and torture him too. He paced faster.

Even taking a test started to look better than sitting here doing nothing.

ExpandAlright, I'll do this. )
"Well, see. If you have my sister and you haven't hurt her I'll go back to working for you. I won't track you down and kill you like an animal or anything." He checked his pockets "And I have lottery tickets." He waved the bundle. "Lottery tickets, right here."

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. __Rat__________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ___Rat________.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ___Rat________.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ___Rat__________
I don't wear knickers ___Rat_____"


((Rat, like Sage is an empath and an Influencer. He also has amazing waif-fu IC. If you're supernaturally fast or strong, you can beat him, no problem. If you're some kind of master ninja, you can beat him. If you're good at martial arts, he probably has a chance of at least landing a punch.

PB: Kitt Turtlington from the movie Gypsy 83))
[identity profile] le-franceypants.livejournal.com
When Francis left the bathroom, he was humming La Mairseillais to himself and smiling. His dress shirt (blue, like his eyes), was untucked and unbuttoned on the top, revealing thin curls of blond chest hair. His tie was undone and draped around his neck. He smelled vaguely of expensive cologne.

The Frenchman continued to hum and smile as he took a few steps forward, oblivious to his surroundings. However as he zipped up the fly of his dress pants (red, to match the design in his tie) and looked up, his face immediately fell into a puzzled frown. Now, he knew government buildings were big but he was sure Alfred’s White House did not look like the inside of a castle. In fact, he was pretty certain Alfred didn’t have many castles to begin with (that was Arthur’s department). Francis crossed his arms and rubbed the stubble on his chin. He glanced behind him and, sure enough, there was no bathroom. He swallowed, trying to keep the nerves from writhing in his stomach, and looked forward again. There was definitely something strange going on.

Mumbling to himself in French, the man reached into his pocket and pulled out a sleek red cell phone. He opened it, expecting the screen to light up and show him the date and the time, but nothing happened.

Merde”, he cursed under his breath, and shook his phone. It did nothing to help, so he dropped it back into his pocket with a sigh. Looking around, he noticed a desk a short distance away from him. He glanced again over his shoulder before walking over to the desk.

ExpandAllow me to elucidate. )


"I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Francis Bonnefoy.
I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Francis Bonnefoy.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Francis Bonnefoy.
One day, marmalade (délicieux!) will rule the world. Francis Bonnefoy"


[WARNING: The thread with Francis and Roderich is now NSFW.]
[identity profile] topoftheboard.livejournal.com
Well. Wasn't this interesting? A real fun fest.

Ricky Roma took stock of the room, no hurry but not missing anything, not if he could help it. Not looking anything beyond self-assured. Hell, he knew what he was about. And you never let your guard down. Especially not with a group like this. What in - What in the hell was this nutjob operation? Bunch of fruits, from what Roma could tell. Looked like some of them might've stepped out of some spaceship or fucking kid's book, for all he could tell. What the hell.

Might be worth a laugh, anyway. While he was here. And at least they looked like interesting nutjobs. A few good-looking ones, too. That almost brought a grin. Sure, this was going to be a... an experience. And maybe he'd meet a few looking to buy property, or willing to be talked into buying property. Christ knew what kind of property anyone had around here, but he had some brochures, and if Ricky Roma knew himself - he did, thoroughly - he be able to talk some sucker into buying.

Good, all right, wonderful. There was a plan. And why the hell not? Didn't look like there was anything else to do, anyway.


ExpandSo, what? Just a bunch of questions? Sure, I've got answers for you. )


"I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. R. Roma.
I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. R. Roma.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. R. Roma.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. R. Roma."



((OOC: And this-person apologizes for Roma's, er, abrasive, crude, potentially offensive [pick a term, pick several terms] mode of speech. And possibly behavior. He's kind of an asshole like that, sometimes. Comes with the living? Anyway, yes, thank you David Mamet and Glengarry Glen Ross, and here are my apologies also for any destruction of Roma's character. Erk. YEP. Also-gracias to a-person for sideways recalling the fact of this community's most rad existence. And, er, otherwise... don't know when-all I'll be around, but Roma likes to talk, so what the hell. Shall see.))
[identity profile] magismagus.livejournal.com
Gellert Grindelwald looks at the quill and takes it for granted, as he does the room. He reads over the questions and snorts softly. They want him to apply to a wizarding school? A school, at this late date? But it is certainly preferable to the lonely cell. The questions themselves seem ludicrous, but he is willing for anything that does not overtly compromise his thoughts, that will allow him a chance to... talk with others again. His confinement would have driven many mad but, powerful, he had some few methods of rare communication, even there, and he had never stopped working. Taking stock of himself, he wonders if there must be some trace of madness. It would be reasonable to assume so. Fifty years. When he meets others, it will become evident, if so. He must be careful to replace resentment with civility. He knows this. Idiots have walked free, while he has been kept locked in his own prison. It will be better to consider himself newborn, curious. Indeed, it will be prudent, not only for his assurance of his worthiness for freedom, but to gather knowledge of the new world in which he will undoubtedly find himself. Politics will have shifted, surely, and likely not in the favour of wizards, or he would have been freed, hailed as a hero and martyr. Nevertheless, he is being offered this chance, so perhaps there has been some measure of acceptance of his ideas.

ExpandAllow me to elucidate. )

"I have read the [livejournal.com profile] hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Gellert Grindelwald
I have read the [livejournal.com profile] hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Gellert Grindelwald.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Gellert Grindelwald.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. Gellert Grindelwald"
[identity profile] lemondrop-party.livejournal.com
The weather wasn't too unfavorable for a nice afternoon walk. Mens sana in corpore sano, Albus had always been a firm believer. Blest with a metabolism that permitted him free indulgence of his sweet tooth, he needed exercise not for weight control but for the maintenance of a strong physique.

Had he been a Muggle, he might have been one of those stringy old men one sees speed-walking in the bike path wearing royal-blue jogging shorts of an indecent length. Since he was a wizard, the world was spared this spectacle. Instead, the old headmaster emeritus went striding about the grounds in his normal daily garb -- most of it, anyway. His beard had been tied in a neat beard-ponytail, and in lieu of a hat his brow was girt with a terrycloth sweatband.

He would wave happily at anyone he saw, and walk alongside them for a time if they liked.

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