Muggle Studies

[i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com]

((Jasper's inclusion with permission and additions of his player. If you require Vlad's attention, please say something to this extent in the comment subject line so I don't somehow miss it, thanks!))

The Baron Vladimir Harkonnen wanted his first class to be practical and entertaining, so he had chosen "An Introduction to Muggle Weaponry" as the topic. In order to make the class interesting, he'd decided it would be a hands-on experience, and had negotiated with Basher Tarr to obtain an assortment of Muggle weapons, mainly a quantity of AK-47 assault rifles, along with plenty of ammunition. These had been marked with stenciled letters declaring them "Property of the Muggle Studies Department", and were now stacked up neatly on a table at the front of the room, near some crates bearing the same lettering, and a rocket launcher. A section of the room had been magically expanded, and turned into an indoor firing range, complete with human-shaped targets, and the usual classroom area was equipped with rows of neatly-lined desks.

The Baron remained in a large, comfortable chair at the front of the classroom, his assistant Jasper beside him, and chatted quietly with him about a few details of the lesson plan as he waited for the last students to arrive and seat themselves at the desks. When it seemed that no more were going to appear, he floated up and shut the door with a flick of his wand. The deep, melodic basso of his voice carried easily over the chatter.

"Welcome to Muggle Studies. The subject we'll be covering today is potentially dangerous, so pay attention!"This declaration was accompanied by one of his disarmingly cherubic smiles. "The first thing that you need to know about Muggles is that even though they often are extremely silly, they are still capable of wreaking havoc and destruction. It's one of their favorite activities, but somehow, they still haven't managed to obliterate themselves. As there are a great deal more of them than there are of us, even though their methods are often crude, in a war of attrition, the wizarding world might have a problem. So, today I am going to familiarize you with some of the most commonly used weapons in current ground warfare."

He gestured at Jasper, who brought him an AK-47, which he held up and explained, "This is one of the most common Muggle weapons, the assault rifle. This model is the AK-47, a basic piece of artillery used by infantry. It was developed in the admirable nation of Russia, from which my own House claims ancient roots, and came into predominance shortly after the conflict known as World War II. It's operation is simple, and its main feature is that of selective firing modes- it can be operated either as semi- or fully automatic. In fully automatic mode, its range is shorter and less accurate, but as it is generally used in close confrontations, it is effective enough. The semi-automatic mode is more effective at a distance. This is not a very advanced weapon, but, it's still killed millions of Muggles." The Baron demonstrated loading a cartridge into the weapon, flicked off the safety, cocked the mechanism, and turned to fire a round through one of the lined-up targets, with perfect aim. He then flipped it to the fully automatic mode, and opened fire again at the same target- the spray of bullets was less accurate, but still shredded the target's torso region. "Magic or no, you don't want to find yourself surrounded by a horde of Muggles with these." He passed the AK-47 back to Jasper, and indicated the nearby boxes, and Jasper brought him a specimen of their contents after replacing the rifle.

"This is an M67 fragmentation grenade." He held up the grenade for the class to see. "This is a common anti-personnel weapon. It's a basic explosive, based upon filling the enemy with lethal bits of shrapnel. It's not a pleasant way to go. These are commonly used in ground combat, as, they are inexpensive to produce and easy to transport. Their effective radius is a mere 15 yards, and its lethal radius even less- but enough of these tossed into oncoming troops can be painful." With a smile, he removed the safety clip, pulled the pin, and tossed the grenade into a corner of the magically expanded area, where it exploded. The magically enlarged area was intentionally big enough that he could do this without maiming the students, although the nearby targets were mangled. "If those were people, they would not be feeling well now. The Muggles have several varieties of grenades, including concussion grenades that work best in enclosed areas, and incendiary grenades, designed to damage structures."

He drifted over to the rocket launcher, which he laid a hand on as he spoke. "And this little beauty is the M47 dragon, a shoulder-mounted rocket launcher. This model is slightly out of date, but effective. This weapon is primarily used against armored vehicles such as the tank, which unfortunately I have not been able to obtain yet. I'd demonstrate it, but, I'd prefer the walls to stay in one piece. However, if you attend the second portion of my class, you may have a chance to try it for yourself, along with the various sorts of grenades."

"Now, each of you will take one of these AK-47s, a cartridge of ammunition, and pair up with a partner. If you have experience with such weaponry, please find a less experienced student to assist. You will load the weapon, and you will attempt to hit one of these targets, while standing behind this line." He indicated a white line stretching in front of the targets. "You will try both modes, and learn the different feel of each one. And, you will not shoot each other with them. At this time." He grinned slightly, as he added, "Part two of the class is optional and will be held at a later date, but I encourage all of you to attend. We will be having a little Muggle-style war game on the grounds, and, you will be welcome to try and shoot each other then." A faint shimmer went up around the Baron as he flicked on his personal shield and settled back into his chair, watching for any that might need assistance. Jasper moved to join the students, ready to offer help as well or remove any troublemakers as needed. He didn't bother with any sort of shield, since getting shot didn't concern him.

Comments

[blond-bondshell.livejournal.com]

James Bond listened patiently to the lecture. The material was not new, but the presentation was. He couldn't help but notice the baron's perfect aim, or the personal shield. Shrewd man.

Bond remained at his desk after the students were instructed to pick up their guns. If he saw an inexperienced student, he would help out, but he was really in no hurry to start shooting. If all he needed to do was load the gun and hit a target, he'd be out of there in five minutes.

[tallyhopippip.livejournal.com]

"Those look much better than the guns I'm used to!" George said obliviously to Bond. "Are guns in this day really this good?"

[prettypendulum.livejournal.com]

Rather than sitting at a desk, Kuronue perched on it. He fidgeted restlessly as the Baron ran through the weapons, looking like we was itching to get his hands on one. He certainly was, his eyes shinning and grin widening with each description of the carnage they could cause.

He was positively just about bouncing on his desk by the time the Baron allowed them to pair up and shoot an AK-47.

And next time they'd be shooting each other.

Fuck yes.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

"You can't know anything about guns," I say, coming up behind Kuornue. Since we're supposed to pick less experienced partners and I know Matt can shoot, I decide to pester the demon. Though, I would have preferred someone else teach this class. That overbearing pompous floating whale is a menace.

[12panelwonder.livejournal.com]

Best. Class. Ever.

And AK-47s! Matt's never actually used one before, so this was a real treat.

Picking up his gun and the ammo, he looked around for someone to shoot with.

[charlesofdensen.livejournal.com]

Ofdensen's eyebrows shot way up. Well. This wasn't your mother's Muggle Studies class. And he was a good shot, too.

Ofdensen looked around: both Nathan and Skwisgaar had signed up on this list, and who knows if any of the others would show. He would have to keep an eye on them, make sure they don't get shot by some idiot. If so, said idiot would lose his skin.

[needsanewliver.livejournal.com]

((Papa wolf!Ofdensen = ♥))

Nathan was probably one of the last to show up, and unthinkingly went to sit by Ofdensen rather than his two bandmates as he usually would, both of who looked like death warmed over. He was rather better off than the Scandinavians, but likewise wound up falling asleep during the lecture. Despite guns and war and destruction all being very metal subjects, the whole blah blah blah droning lecture part was simply too boring for Nathan. He already knew how to blow shit up.

From across the room Jasper was subtly checking out sizing Ofdensen up, before giving the sleeping Nathan and Skwisgaar mildly disapproving looks. But after a moment he simply smiled, apparently not feeling the need to intervene; he was becoming a fanboy of Dethklok, and was well aware of Vladimir's fondness for Skwisgaar especially (something which Jasper shared, in a nonsexual way, despite having tried to eat him in the showers). And so the musicians were afforded special treatment. Jasper assumed Ofdensen must be their producer or manager, and would probably try to speak with him later, as he was very curious about the band.

[waste-lock.livejournal.com]

Nny scowled at the guns. They weren't a weapon he was fond of.

Grenades and rocket launchers, on the other hand...

Well, first things first. He took up the AK-47, and looked warily around; working with a partner was another thing he dreaded.

[igorofmalaria.livejournal.com]

Igor stared at his gun. He actually had more experience with rocket-launchers than guns, but maybe it wouldn't be too difficult. The only available partner nearby was a skinny guy most of the other students seemed to be avoiding. Igor nodded in his direction and waited to see his response.

[best-guitarist.livejournal.com]

Skwisgaar staggered into class with Toki and their Shoggies trailing behind him, both of them quite obviously and thoroughly hungover, though in the Swede's case the dark circles beneath his eyes pretty much just blended into the fading bruising around them. Rather than admonishing Toki for being such a sloppy drunk mess on the previous night, Skwisgaar had decided to join him, and drunken revelry had ensued -- well into the wee hours of the morning. They were both paying for it now.

Skwisgaar patiently helped each Shoggy onto their own desks before squeezing into one himself with his guitar, sitting next to Toki, his playing nearly silent as the lecture started. Unfortunately, a massive hangover combined with his apparent Narcolepsy made him terribly inattentive, and before the Baron had even gotten through his introduction to the class, Skwisgaar had fallen asleep sitting up. Even while asleep he could play the guitar perfectly, and continued to do so. The earsplitting explosion and gunfire barely caused him to stir -- he muttered something that may have been 'mmmmrightsdere' before falling silent again, still asleep.

[isnotabumblebee.livejournal.com]

The first thing Toki did when he got to class was to call a house-elf to bring him some more vodka. He was feeling pretty shitty, and mostly wanted to sleep, and thought that getting up to go to class was pretty dumb. But, the Shoggies needed an education, so, he felt it his duty to be a good parent and go with Skwisgaar to get the Shoggies educated. He helped Skwisgaar arrange the Shoggies, and slumped down in his desk beside the Swede, taking a drink off his new bottle of vodka before hiding it under the desk from teacher. Who was apparently the epic pervert from Potions class, so he supposed they were lucky when the topic turned out to be guns and not something epically perverted.

Not that Toki could stay fully awake for the lecture. He kept dozing off, but remembering the Shoggies would jerk awake long enough to make sure they were all still 'sitting' at their desks. Which they were. They'd been told by the huge floating man to pay attention, and, Shoggies tended to obey orders. So, they were in fact fixated on the lesson, and absorbing the information being given to them, unlike Toki, who'd only stay fully awake for long enough to take a swig off his bottle before fading out again. Until the gunfire and explosions started, at which point, he managed to wake up enough to keep an eye on the Shoggies. Who remained oddly riveted to the presentation, although they did mutter a few "sooo cools" at the explosion.

He nudged Skwisgaar slightly when it was time for them to play with guns. "Wakes up, Skwisgaar. We's supposed to shoot the guns now, and the children mights need help with it." The Shoggies were already looking to Toki and Skwisgaar, presuming that they'd help them with the lesson, just as they had in potions.

Baron!

[iam-beowulf.livejournal.com]

Beowulf had a burning question.

"WHO IS THE FATHER OF THE M47 DRAGON?"

Re: Baron!

[i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com]

The Baron found the question of this loud and extremely well-built man to be perplexing. He looked oddly at Beowulf for a moment before replying, "The M47 Dragon was developed in the United States of America, a large Muggle nation located across the ocean to the west. It's primary purpose is that of an anti-tank weapon, although it is also effective against fortifications. Or any troops that happen to be in the way. It uses a wire-guiding system to direct it, which is relatively crude, but, it's effective at a range of up to a thousand metres." Vladimir was unaware the name of the person who had designed the weapon, but hoped that this loud man would find the answer at least somewhat useful. He had no idea that Beowulf might have interpreted the name of the weapon to refer to an actual dragon.

[lemondrop-party.livejournal.com]

Dumbledore with an AK47? Yes, and from the way he held it, it might seem he was not completely inexperienced with this Muggle weapon.

Lock and load, baby.

[scouts-dishonor.livejournal.com]

Scout's experience with Muggle weapons extended beyond the baseball bat. While he preferred a sawed-off shotgun, it wasn't like he hadn't experimented in the past.

"Oh man," he said with enthusiasm when he picked up his gun. "If summer school was like this, I might noughta' dropped out the first time."

On his way to the target range, he passed Dumbledore. "What, those like the Pretty Princess combat boots?" he said when he spied the wizard's snazzy heels.

[i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com]

As he was already up due to George shooting himself in the foot, the Baron figured he might as well float about the classroom being observant. And perhaps attempting to avoid anyone else shooting themselves in the foot, since an epidemic of bullets to the foot was likely to reduce attendance at his war game.

Although there were many lovely young men in the room- he was most pleased with the turnout in this regard- he found himself quite impressed by the apparently oldest one. Or more pointedly, impressed by his clothes. Vladimir thought that the 'pretty princess combat boots' were in fact exquisite, along with the rest of Dumbledore's ensemble, and couldn't resist drifting over to ask a Very Important Question.

"It's good to see someone who can handle their gun properly. I must say that your outfit is impeccable. Who is your tailor? It's evident that I need to pay them a visit."

[righteous-pen.livejournal.com]

Mikami couldn't imagine himself ever needing to use an assault rifle. Still, he'd signed up for this class and he wasn't about to back out. He'd be skipping the second half, though, attendance record or not - judging by his fellow students, he'd be unlikely to leave that in one piece. (And he wasn't that self-destructive. Not any longer.)

He looked around at the class, trying to spot a partner who looked a) more experienced and b) not a homicidal maniac.

[rat-bstrd.livejournal.com]

Guns really weren't Rat's thing, but he'd probably have to learn to shoot sometime. He studied the gun, not sure what to do with it.

[miranda-bnewski.livejournal.com]

Sweet Mother of Jesus, what a test-fest. Miranda hadn't technically signed up, but she was curious enough to stop in and have a seat alongside some punk kid. "Hey, can I use your gun when you're through with it?" she whispered.
The way they ran things around here surely the professor wouldn't even notice she was sitting in.

[weaponized-love.livejournal.com]

Keenan took a look at his gun, and raised an eyebrow. "This has GOT to have a fuckin' lot of kick," he says, approving. He checks the ammo feed, and steps into position and aims before turning off the safety. "Fire in the hole!"

[grinkitty.livejournal.com]

The cat appeared on the Baron's chair arm, his tail swishing back and forth. He craned his neck around to grin at the Baron. "Quite an amusing class, might I say."

[i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com]

The Baron was rather startled by the sudden appearance of a strange cat, that apparently talked, and had an unnervingly human grin. But, he'd met a lot of strange things at Hogwarts, and, a talking cat wasn't the oddest. He'd never given any permission for talking cats to appear on his chair arm, but, he figured that talking cats didn't require permission. A cat was a cat- and he was in fact rather fond of cats. He felt that their nature was properly Harkonnen, especially the indulgence and cruelty they tended to manifest.

"I'm pleased that you are enjoying it," he replied, after peering curiously at the cat for a moment. "I expect that the subject itself is rather useless for a cat, however." He considered briefly, adding with a slight grin, "But, you're excused from the lesson, unless you're not always a cat." At Hogwarts, you never could tell.

[runaway-stark.livejournal.com]

Arya sat in her chair, bare feet not quite touching the ground, and listened intently to the lesson. There were quite a few words that she didn't understand by virtue of them not being used in Westeros, though she was confident that she understood enough. The weapons, though much larger and louder than her pistol, seemed simple enough to operate. Point and shoot, just like the pistol. She flinched a little when the weapons were demonstrated, but only a little.

She took the AK-47, holding it awkwardly. From butt to tip, it was a little over a head shorter than she was. She tried her best to hold it as she'd seen the professor hold his and glared at one of the targets, all but seeing some Lannister or Frey there in its place.

[weaponized-love.livejournal.com]

"Gonna want to hold the stock to your shoulder," Keenan said softly, as he ogled the hotness examined her shooting stance. "Easier to aim, easier to deal with the kick."