Evan Treborn from The Butterfly Effect

[mindwiper-et.livejournal.com]

Evan blinked, looking down at his hands and realizing that, somehow, he was back in his own adult body. His hair wasn't the wild mop that he'd had in Sunnyvale Institution and he had his real clothes back.

As used as he was by now to regaining consciousness in absolutely strange situations, he honestly expected something different to happen after having sacrificed himself in his mother's womb.

He didn't have any answers as to what result it had gotten him -- whether his mother, Lenny, Tommy -- Kayleigh or even Thumper were at all okay. God, he hoped so.

Evan let out a breath and then another, collecting himself. He was more than used to this crap by now. He would deal. He had to. Looking around and getting his bearings, Evan's eyes tracked across a desk with parchment and a quill sitting ready.

Noting the sconces on the walls, Evan put two and two together and figured he had possibly gone back quite a few centuries more than he'd meant to, thus possibly erasing himself from the timeline altogether.

Well, hell, it was still the intended result. Evan walked over to the table, noting a series of questions written on the parchment. A survey? What the hell year is it, anyway?"

Picking up the quill and playing with it, one-handed, Evan read over the series of questions, figuring he obviously had some time to kill. He might as well write something in the meantime. Maybe that paper he had been meant to turn in before Kayleigh's funeral. After the questions, of course.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite? Well, my mom got this cheese or something for Christmas once from the hospital where she works at, but in my memories as scattered as they may be my stepfather, Chuck, and I ate it all before she could get any -- we didn't mean to. Dick move, I know. Anyway, probably Gouda, though smoked -- that's the stipulation. It was delicious.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop? Barney. I was able not only to resist Carrottop, but am repulsed by him.

3. What time is it where you are? There wasn't really a clock in my mother's womb, but it appears I have my watch back and it says...that it's stopped. I guess being waterproof isn't the same as being amniotic fluid-proof, though I don't actually remember having a watch as a fetus. Huh.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black. I would probably sexually harass my roomate Thumper simply because he has it coming after all those dates he's brought back to our room (seriously, the last girl probably could have kicked my ass if she'd set her mind to it) besides -- he wouldn't take it personally.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark. The Fuck Bag, simply because while it has negative memories attached to it, even I have to admit it has a ring to it.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument. Well, given my tendencies toward monogamy, I'm not really sure I'd be the best choice for deciding Harry's life's mate for him, but if I was in a bind about it, I'd say Fred -- no, George, because he's quieter and probably will pay Harry more attention in the long run. No hard feelings, though.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it. I usually set aside one day a week to mow my way through every paper I have to write and anything not needed in an expedient fashion, but I realize not everyone can concentrate like that so I also suggest doing any of it a little bit at a time -- probably alternating between subjects so you don't get burnt out and want to set the entire pile ablaze. I'm looking at you, Thumper!

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless. Um, at this point, I think it's genetic but...well, no, I won't go into that. Something more general: so far, I've never gotten anything below an 'A' in my life. I don't know exactly know how I do it, but it seems like information imprints itself on my brain and just doesn't go anywhere. I've never needed to study, ever.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

*Evan rubs his beard a bit, considering what he could possibly bribe anybody with, let alone in a strange -- after which thought, he snorted and went back to thinking -- building of people he had yet to get to know.*

If anyone has any knowledge in the field of psychology and could use my help, I was well on my way to graduating early from State University of New York with a double Psychology degree in both Behavioral Psychology and Cognitive Psychology, with a minor in Humanistic Psychology. You know, if that helps anyone. Um, I'm sorry, I just don't have anything in my pockets or, really, anything someone else would probably want to wear.

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ______ET______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____ET______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____ET______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______ET_______"

Comments

[ringo-raver.livejournal.com]

"Hehehehehe. You're dead."

[[OOC: Note, Ryuk has shinigami eyes that can see a person's name and lifespan-or in this case that he's dead. Unlifed? Fuck it, he's dead.]]

Evan eyes Ryuk warily...

[mindwiper-et.livejournal.com]

"I guess I was dead, yeah. That's what I was aiming for, but somehow I wound up here. Uh..."

Evan shakes his sleeve back on his wrist and checks his own pulse to find his heart thumping away at a normal pace.

"Not dead anymore. Sorry to disappoint."

Re: Evan eyes Ryuk warily...

[ringo-raver.livejournal.com]

"Well, in my eyes, you are. I bet you didn't have much of a lifespan anyway. Wouldn't matter anyway, I can't kill anyone here." Ryuk pulled out an apple and began chomping on it.

[unluckiest-star.livejournal.com]

Starman floated gracefully down from near the ceiling, costume and mask a-twinkle. "Hi ho, fellow traveler! What's a 'fuck bag?'"

[mindwiper-et.livejournal.com]

Evan stared at the being in front of him, not quite sure what to say in response.

After a moment, he shook his head to clear it before opening his mouth and finally answering the question, "Uh, a fuckbag's an...extremely undesirable person. You know, like..."

Evan trailed off, wondering if describing that a fuckbag is like an asshole was truly the way to go here.

"I...don't think I have any non-anatomy-involving ways to describe exactly what a fuckbag is, unfortunately."

[unluckiest-star.livejournal.com]

"But, but why would you want to name a bar after one of those?"

[lemondrop-party.livejournal.com]

"Smoked Gouda sounds heavenly." Dumbledore had brought his knitting into the Sorting Room with him, today, but had laid aside the sock-in-progress in order to read the latest application. His aged brow furrowed at the answer to the third question. "This talk of clocks in your mother's womb is extraordinary. May I inquire as to its meaning?"

Either the young man had been through a severe ordeal indeed, or the young man had partaken of psychoactive potions.

[mindwiper-et.livejournal.com]

Evan's eyes widened and he found himself inhaling deeply. He balled his hands into fists at his side before biting his lip.

"Um, I...I don't actually know why I wrote that. It's...I can't explain."

They'll think I'm crazy. Why the hell did I write that?

[lemondrop-party.livejournal.com]

"You may find me a more receptive audience to tales of the fantastic than you imagined," said the old man gently. "Perhaps you cannot explain, but perhaps you can. Would you like to try?"

[fatedjune.livejournal.com]

"What do you mean by a clock not being in your mother's womb? That doesn't seem to be a likely place for you to have been recently," asks the ten year old girl.

[mindwiper-et.livejournal.com]

((There we go. Sorry about that...))

Evan paled considerably, his eyes closing against his will. Inside, somewhere, he could feel...warmth, and the pulse of his mother's heartbeat thudded in his ears.

Or was that his own?

"I..." Evan bit his lip, staring down at the girl talking to him. Was it really that easy? He'd told Kayleigh he'd never tell anyone else his secret again.

He presumed his mother -- who hadn't believed his father -- had been the only one Jason Treborn had told. It occurred to him now to wonder whom his grandfather had told -- obviously they hadn't believed, either, as he'd been committed to an institution just as Jason and Evan, themselves, had.

Then again, he still had no idea what had even happened. He still expected to be dead at this point and after that, nothing really mattered, did it?

"I have a power that lets me return to my memories. Most of them have been pretty sh -- "

Evan stopped himself from swearing, wincing at the almost slip-up.

"Most of them have really sucked, but I thought...I could change them, make them better."

Evan struggled to keep the bitterness out of his voice, but couldn't quite manage it. "I didn't succeed, which my father warned me about -- he and my grandfather had this power, too -- and now I've taken myself out of the people whom I care about's lives for good.

"I did it by using my father's home video of my birth to go into my mother's womb. Then I strangled myself with my umbilical cord. That way I could never be born and screw up everyone else around me's lives."

Evan had to turn away from her. He couldn't bear to see what sort of look she had on her face, whatever it was.

[fatedjune.livejournal.com]

Such a story any normal person would think as crazy, but Rika can understand it all to well. Her experience required the help of a god to create new worlds for her, but if she didn't know any better it would be the same as going back in time. It's shocking to hear that he can do this on his own, but that power seems to run in the family.

Her shocked face turns more serious and contemplative when he looks away. Using the power to change fate to rid oneself of a bad end, Rika has known that sort of thing from about one hundred years worth of repeating her childhood in an attempt to create a world where her friends and she can live happily. An older version of Rika would have been glad that the other man also has the power to overturn the bad events of his life, but Rika has learned something important since that time. By not accepting her death Rika created many failed worlds where many peopled died, and in a way she now feels somewhat responsible for that. She accepted that she could not save her parents, but continued to live through worlds allowing them to die over and over again until she felt nothing for them anymore...

Instead of being accepting of Evan's power, Rika asks with an innocent child's voice that she was supposed to naturally have, "Does that make you some kind of god? How does running away from your problems make them better?"

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

Sometimes - not as often as he'd hoped - Kurama would sneak into the Sorting room and find a truly exceptional application from one of the new kids. This was one of those times. Either one Evan Treborn was a comedian (the unhinged, hilarious kind) or was pants-on-head crazy. Or, he was absolutely serious, which to Kurama would be the funniest of all. Whichever one was true, the application was currently challenging every single bit of his self control to keep from laughing out loud. He was snickering by the time he reached the end, and his tail was twitching in amusement. He looked down from his tall vantage point at Evan, smirking widely.

"Your answers are interesting, Evan Treborne. I suspect your sense of comedy is more useful to this school than 'legitimate' psychological counseling. You should bribe with storytelling, next time. You could make any truth a yarn the likes of which old troubadours would be jealous."

[mindwiper-et.livejournal.com]

Comedy?

Evan managed, somehow, to hold in a snarl. "My life is comedy to you, you side-show reject?"

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

Kurama's grinned widened. A year ago, that comment would have gotten a human killed. Now, he was merely amused. "Yes," he replied simply. He crossed his arms around his middle, tilting his head to the side. "Very much so."

[wrinklesintime.livejournal.com]

"Wow, your Hufflepuff answer is impressive," Meg gushed. "Back home, even though I could do the work, teachers hated me, so I never got A's. And, well, it didn't help that both my parents are super smart and I'm, well... not dumb, but not nearly as much of a genius as they tell me I should be."

[mindwiper-et.livejournal.com]

Evan snorted, a small smile coming to his face for the first time since he'd arrived.

"Well, for all the good it does, being really good with schoolwork isn't all it's cracked up to be."

[wrinklesintime.livejournal.com]

Meg laughed. "I keep trying to tell that to my teachers back home, but they insist I might need to know useless things like Shakespeare or the capital of Bangladesh one of these days. At least there's a practical component to most of the magical classes that are taught here."

[my-soul-itches.livejournal.com]

"Ooh! If it's genetic, maybe you're a mutant, too! My friend David was kind of like that, he knew stuff that everyone else knew and he still knows it even though he's not a mutant anymore and it's so useful but I think I like mine better even if it means I have to study more and hi! Welcome to Hogwarts! Did your bar name have to have the f-word in it? Are you really angry or something?"

[mindwiper-et.livejournal.com]

Evan winced, realizing his mistake,

"Um, no, it did not. I just didn't realize anyone else would be...well, no, that's not accurate. It's a survey, isn't it? I didn't think it'd be privy for all and freakin' sundry to see."

Evan bowed his head, genuinely contrite. "I'm sorry."

He was certainly used to saying those words.

[my-soul-itches.livejournal.com]

"It's kind of like this test... thing... that's supposed to tell which House you go in while you're here, and we all see it and vote. Honestly, I don't think it makes any sense, but that's okay. Oh, and then there's this talking hat that comes in and makes the final decision, so if you see a talking hat don't insult it or else you might end up somewhere really weird. And I'm talking weird compared to the rest of this." She waved around the room, the point somewhat magnified by the fact that it was a teenage girl with pointy ears, large black eyes, pink-and-black hair, and wings flying a little off the ground doing the talking.

"It's okay! Don't worry about it. Wolverine says a lot worse things, but usually when he's angry so I was wondering if you were angry about something. That's okay if you are. It's okay to be angry." She said it as though she was quoting someone--which she was--and beamed. "As long as you don't take it out on people who don't deserve it. Anyway, I'm Megan. What's your name?"

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

"Psychology major, huh? All right, maybe you can help me. I've been having these dreams lately where I'm being chased through a vat of cheese fondue by giant robots with lasers. What do you think that means?"

[mindwiper-et.livejournal.com]

Evan sighed, not wanting to offend the one hallucination who could get him out of this room.

"To be honest, I think it means you had a dream, but if you like, I could throw some phallic symbolism in the mix if you like."

Evan blinked, wondering if the Hat even had a penis to worry about.

"You know, if that's your thing and all."

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

"Oh, yeah. Bring on the phallic symbols, and the Oedipus complex, and whatever that thing is about cigars. I'm a resilient hat. I can take it."

For what it was worth, the hat totally did get around. (http://babylonjackal.livejournal.com/1037.html)

Gryffindor!

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Your bribe has been accepted!

Welcome to Gryffindor!