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kingbandit.livejournal.com

Jing is a thief. He lives to steal secrets and the representations of grief or pain from their owners. Hogwarts is rife with such secrets, but there is the matter of deciding just what to steal and when and whether he'd truly get away with it.

Then, there is the open challenge he has out to another thief, but the time isn't right yet. So many things happen that keep that particular prize from achieving the value it should have before it's reclaimed.

He's seen the compy lab and wondered about it. Does it hold secrets to steal? The best way to find out is to try. And Jing is one to be rather direct, issuing warnings of his intent. The lab is perfect for this as well.

A brief introductory session, interrupted by a tapestry behind him and the house elf showing him the system bursting into flames, and Jing understands much more than he was shown. In the manner of mischief common to boys and thieves, he makes a post under the name "ODorobou," since he is not one to hide just who and what he is.

Everyone has secrets, things they hide--or think they do--that they don't want anyone else to know. The problem with those secrets is the harder you try to hide them, the more valuable and more vulnerable they become. Unburden yourself. Reveal your secrets and be free of them.

Another fire behind him makes him decide to wait elsewhere, but he'll check back periodically to see just what secrets he collects.

This may be one of the easier heists he's pulled, if it works.

Current Mood: mischievous

i-am-harkonnen.livejournal.com

The Baron Vladimir Harkonnen had developed a somewhat unsettling crush on Valentine Wolfe. Unsettling, as he wasn't the sort to develop these normally. They didn't tend to be smart where politics were concerned. But at Hogwarts, there wasn't much of a political game, and he'd found himself fascinated with Valentine beyond the rather pretty packaging- he had an extremely sexy brain. A beautifully twisted brain that he wanted to scheme and plot with- while hopefully doing other things as well. Valentine certainly seemed as devoted to decadence as himself. And so, finding himself with a free evening, he penned a note to Valentine and sent it over via his house-elf.

To Lord Valentine Wolfe,

I've found myself with a free evening- of which there are far too many here- and, was wondering if you would like to stop by for drinks, Spice, conversation, and any other diversions we might come up with. I'd be delighted to share your company again.

-Baron Vladimir Harkonnen

In case his invitation was accepted, he put on an extremely good robe, somewhat kimono-like, in black with red trim, and selected one of the best bottles of wine from his store. While waiting, he put on a VHS he'd found of a Muggle television program called Jerry Springer, where people went to show the world just how daft and usually unattractive they were while bashing each other with chairs as the equally daft audience goaded them on. Unfortunately, no one ever died, but, humiliation was still rather entertaining.

degeneratewolfe.livejournal.com

Valentine waited until what he'd judged was the last straggler to make their way in and shut the door. The dungeon classroom was, for the moment, brightly lit and students were paired up in front of cauldrons. There were a number of beanbags shoved off against one wall. "Why, hello," he said, waiting for whatever chatter was in the air to die down. "And welcome to today's ( potion class. )

degeneratewolfe.livejournal.com

Potions class will be held on Monday, September the 14th in the dungeons. Please sign up below if you want to attend.

This class will have two portions: the first will be to brew a traditional magical potion, the second will be measure its effects in conjunction with a non-traditional concoction.

For this class, no observers will be allowed. As a disclaimer, the lesson will feature two substances that affect the mind; if you are in doubt of your mental state, this may not be the class for you.

-Professor Valentine Wolfe

((It's safe to say that if you know Valentine, you can guess what kind of things the "non-traditional concoction" might be. If you don't know Valentine... go back through his tag. It's kind of like that.))

degeneratewolfe.livejournal.com

Valentine had some time back returned from his year away, scouring the world for new and interesting substances and experiences. And oh, what a year it had been. But he was here now, back to the large, odd castle and the house elves who cowered justifiably every time he walked by, and life had regained a pace of a sort.

Valentine hated monotony.

And so, he emerged from his latest drug-sodden haze into one slightly less so, worked on drawing up a lesson plan (sometimes literally--his room was now covered with pages and pages of nonsensical words and images) and ordered his personal house elf to dust off the office and hang up the "Office Hours" sign. The elf, who had considered year of Valentine's absence the happiest of his life, hurried to do so--anything to stay away from the Potions Master, who still seemed to think that vivisection was a wonderful practical joke.

Several hours later and Valentine sat stretched out in his chair, one long black-clad leg on his desk, narrowly avoiding a cluster of potted plants nestled among cast-off scraps of parchment. A platter of muffins sat in the other corner. The door was left propped open, leaving him to hum and doodle on parchment scraps until otherwise occupied.

((ETA: Some of the muffins are drugged and/or hexed. Some aren't. Up to the mun to decide if their pups get a tampered one, and what the effects are!))

toujours-sirius.livejournal.com

It may or may not have been coincidental, but at almost the exact same time, eight figures walked through the front door of Hogwarts and into the Entrance Hall. Well, seven walked. The eighth blibbled.

( The godfather, the reluctant hero, and the marshmallow )

( The rhinoceros )

( The jokester )

( The swan )

( The boss and the receptionist )

((Time to officially end my unofficial hiatus! Please feel free to throw your characters at any or all of these guys, gals, and marshamallowy-type creatures! Emmie Silvey is still on hiatus, but I will bring her back in a separate post sometime in the nearish future. :) ))

stickyseabitch.livejournal.com

With a wet, drawn out squelch, Ursula entered the sorting room. "The travel arrangements leave something to be desired," she groused. The room was empty except for the table and quill, and that simply wouldn't do.

"You there! Ugly!" she cried, snapping her fingers at a house elf passing by. "I want some shrimp, raw, and something to sit in. Do you want me to dry up?" She could survive out of water, but dehydration lead to wrinkles. The house elf went off to find the biggest kiddie pool ever, and Ursula settled her tentacles under herself and read the application over.

( I don't sign anything unless it's been vetted by a lawyer. Are there any sharks here? )

gotcake.livejournal.com

There's a giant, metal, robotic, construct hanging from the ceiling in the Sorting Room. When (if?) accepted, she will move to her room and find some other way to get around the castle; but for now, she's here. And since she's an insane computer built by people who were potentially even more insane, being here doesn't really elicit more than vaguely curious staring. And a desire for cake, but that went without saying.

"Hello?" she called out. "Is anyone there?" And if there was a slightly plaintive note in her computerized monotone, well, could you really blame her? Life just wasn't worth living without people to do research on.

( Fine. I suppose I'll fill out this application. By myself. Because no one else is here. )

(("I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. GLaDOS
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. GLaDOS
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. GLaDOS
One day, marmalade will rule the world. GLaDOS"))

fondofcabinets.livejournal.com

Somehow, the novelty of magic that was so fresh and new in Draco's mind when he had started his career at Hogwarts had slowly been sucked out of him. He, as a true pure-blood citizen, was raised around magic and had seen some pretty impressive results from the wand.

With so many muggles running around though, it just wasn't quite as fun.

Draco stood, looking out of a large window in a northern corridor. His wand was in his hand and he twirled it among his finger. His left hand was busy propping his head up as he looked out the window, so his right occupied itself twirling the wand.

degeneratewolfe.livejournal.com

The door to the potions classroom is propped open, with a cheerily painted sign hung out front declaring that potions is today and walk-ins are welcome until the class starts, at which time a house elf will close the door. (The house elves normally wouldn't be caught dead around Valentine Wolfe for fear of dismemberment, but he has promised to be on his best behavior. He is a professional after all, and amusement can wait until after class.)

Inside the classroom, which is lit in a rather dim and atmospheric sort of way, the usual arrangement of desks and chairs has been eschewed in favor of shoving them all against the walls and leaving a large empty space in the center of the room. There is one desk left in the back of the room, with an assortment of coffee mugs and teacups sitting on it. There are also a number of garbage bags folded and set off to one corner, as well as a pile of parchment and a number of Dictaquills. At the front of the classroom, where Valentine is standing, a cauldron with a bubbling liquid sits over a small fire. It smells distinctly unpleasant, though Valentine is unaffected. He's been brewing the stuff for the past few days, after all.

Valentine smiles and greets the students and observers as they enter with variations of "Thank you for coming, please take a cup, a bag, a Dictaquill, and some parchment and sit in a circle on the floor." Once the room is full to his satisfaction, he nods to the house elf attending the door, which is closed.

( Welcome to Potions. )

((All information on ayahuasca was taken from the wikipedia article. It is completely up to the students what they will experience. Anyone who wishes to cause a disturbance, please clear it with both me and any second party you wish to involve.

Also, please note in the subject line of your comment when your character has a vision. It will make things a lot easier on me. You can feel free to assume that the Dictaquill is writing it all down, or you can decide that your character is only capable of incoherent babble. Whatever works for you!

And as an obligatory and possibly ass-saving disclaimer, as the daughter of a DPS officer and an employee of the State of Texas, the mun cannot approve of the recreational use of illegal drugs even if her pup does.))

degeneratewolfe.livejournal.com

Potions will be held on the afternoon of Wednesday, April 30 in the dungeons. Please sign up below if you wish to attend.

This class will focus on a potion used in shamanic rituals. If you do not wish to experience it firsthand, you may watch quietly so long as you do not disrupt the class.

Additionally, applications for a teacher's assistant will be taken after class. Attendance of the class is required for those wishing to apply, so that applicants can familiarize themselves with the instructor's teaching style.

-Professor Valentine Wolfe

((The potion is Ayahuasca, a hallucinogenic tea made from an Amazon vine. Ingestion causes vomiting (as seen in the Venture Bros. episode Viva los Muertos; I'd have posted a clip but I sadly can't find a clip online) as well as hallucinations.))

degeneratewolfe.livejournal.com

Valentine had hoped to be holding a class before now, but there had been a few hang-ups in tracking down and negotiating the purchase of a particular vine that he plans to need beforehand. He's been assured that his supply is on the way, though.

In celebration, and to familiarize himself with the students (and conversely them with him; he has no wish to be complained at when people didn't know what to expect from a class that he, Golgotha's most renowned drug addict, would be teaching) he sends his house elf out to post signs all around the school proclaiming office hours down in his office in the dungeon.

He sets out a pot of tea and a plate of baked goods as he waits. It may be wise for visitors to avoid both.

((Reasons why it's bad to eat or drink anything left out by Valentine: he drugs food for his amusement. If anyone decides to have any, resulting behavior is up to the mun!))

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: "Marijuana," Brujeria

lemondrop-party.livejournal.com

Pleased to learn that a new Astronomy professor had been appointed, Dumbledore dashed off a quick invitation to Bean, identical to the invitations he had sent the other members of the Hogwarts faculty. Then he toddled off to the staff lounge in his best high-heeled boots. Time to ready the room for his tea party.

The house elves had assembled a staggering array of teabags, teapots, varieties of tea, tea-related accessories, sweeteners natural and artificial, tea sandwiches with crusts off, pastries, biscuits, et cetera, hopefully not ad nauseam. Dumbledore bustled about happily, humming to himself like the bumblebee who shared his name, charming napkins into origami shapes. As a final touch, he zapped a dish of clotted cream with a simple food-coloring spell to rainbow its contents.

The final effect he deemed quite satisfactorily cheery.

He knew better than to hope the group he had invited would mesh well. No faculty ever did, unless confronted with some shared enemy, and those were not forthcoming: Voldemort was popcorn, the Headmistress and Sorting Hat were best left alone, and Dumbledore did not think it kind to gang up on poor Kojiro. Nonetheless, he preferred heterogeneity, even with its attendant discord. In diversity lay strength!

To make sure they mingled well, he turned himself invisible (something he could do without an Invisibility Cloak, because he was just special like that). Now they would have to talk among themselves, rather than waiting for the former Headmaster to moderate their discussion or play the host. At the proper moment he could always duck out of the room and reappear properly with apologies for his lateness...

lemondrop-party.livejournal.com

Severus' return made Dumbledore both glad and a bit concerned. Things were so different here than the Hogwarts he and Snape had shared. Acclimation would surely not be easy for the former Potions Master. Having secured a faculty position would help somewhat, yet so many of the faculty were not from the wizarding world ...

Then again, that might be a blessing in disguise, might it not? All his life, the half-blood Prince had been embattled by the interminable internecine feuding of wizards. Now, here, his former home had become a more open place, populated mostly by people who neither knew nor cared much about the old feuds.

It was therefore with slight ulterior motives that Dumbledore penned tea-party invitations to all the faculty and staff of Hogwarts.

( owls to Kahnooloo, Jack Harkness, Ssillissa, Kon-El, Valentine Wolfe, Alan Grant, HR Pufnstuf, Ron Weasley, Archangel Michael, Ford Prefect, Kusuriyuri, Mr. Wednesday, Simkin, Homsar, Severus Snape, Johnny C., and Vislor Turlough )

degeneratewolfe.livejournal.com

Valentine is thrilled. He is now a professor, which means he has power. And power is always a good thing. It gives most of his vast variety of drugs a run for their money, actually.

He's spent the past week puttering around his new quarters, acclimating himself with the potions lab, and putting something of a lesson plan in order. He found himself actually looking forward to his first class. He'd also spent some time ordering his new house elf (who has heard stories about Valentine, and tries to make himself scarce whenever possible. Valentine isn't planning to do anything to this elf, though. It's his elf now. The others are all still fair game.) to make signs and place them around the school.

Come and meet the new Potions Master!
Office hours will be held Monday 2-4 p.m. or by appointment. Please make all appointments at least 24 hours in advance.

A map to the dungeons had been drawn on every sign. (Dungeons. How quaint. Valentine is charmed beyond belief at teaching classes in the dungeon of a castle.)

The signs are up, small pastries and tea are set on a desk (for the moment, they are untampered with; he doesn't want to scare off potential students just yet), and he's hopped up on one of his own concoctions, nearly vibrating behind the desk. He polishes a desk name plate that he's had made for the occasion, which reads "Lord Valentine Wolfe: Potions Overlord," and settles back to wait.

Current Music: "The Dope Show," Marilyn Manson

degeneratewolfe.livejournal.com

( Warded to dissolve into PCP if read by the wrong eyes. )

Current Mood: busy
Current Location: Fancy new digs

degeneratewolfe.livejournal.com

( Both the letter and CV are written on subtly perfumed parchment and tied with a red ribbon. )

Current Mood: optimistic

mlle-merteuil.livejournal.com

(( with the permission of Sebastian-mun, of course))

"Oh, Sebastian?" Kathryn had thought of one last thing. Just a little amuse-bouche, something to whet their appetites for what was to come. She'd only just sent him away with a syrup-sweet Happy hunting, but there was something about the way he'd snap back like a boomerang at her call -- she just couldn't resist watching the way he couldn't resist.

Except that he'd closed the door of his writing room and he wasn't answering.

"Oh, Sebastian," she sang out, a little louder and sweeter this time. No answer.

Kathryn did not like that.

She stalked across the hall and gave the door a deceptively light rap. Still no answer. "Oh spare me," she muttered. His stupid precious journal. Was it really so top-secret that he wouldn't even open the door? For her? But he'd do anything for her.

With a little displeased growl she flung open the door and strode inside ...

( Eat me, Sebastian. )

(( "I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. KM
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. KM
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. KM
One day, marmalade will rule the world. KM" ))

forpony.livejournal.com

((NOTE: Link in the Hufflepuff answer goes to a YouTube video. If you do not have the stomach for a LOT of cartoon violence and gore and cute fluffy things biting it in an unpleasant manner, do not click it. Also, if you do you will never be able to listen to "The Little Mermaid" soundtrack the same way ever again. You have been warned. Also, I think it goes without saying the video's not worksafe.

For those who read the comic, I'm taking Richard from between Issue #3 and #4 of Looking For Group so he hasn't had to deal with Certain Issues yet.))

A tremendous fireball crashes through the wall of the Sorting Room. It's less a fireball than an amorphous mass of all-consuming fire and green lightning, actually, and makes for a terrific explosion. When the smoke clears and the wall rebuilds itself, a black-clad warlock is standing there, his yellow eyes blinking at his unfamiliar surroundings.

"...I meant to do that."

He notices the Dictaquill then, and arcane fire magic surrounds one clawed hand - then he notices it's taking down what he says, and sees the application. After a moment, he dismisses the fire magic and reads over the questions. While he hasn't completely dismissed the notion of torching the quill, Richard has never passed up the opportunity to talk about himself.

( I. Like. To. Kill. Things. How is that not clear by now? )

"I have read the

hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____Richard_______
I have read the

hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ~~Only because I don't know about the no-kill rule yet~~ _____Richard____.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. What knickers? ___Richard________.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. There won't be anything living to oppose it anyway when I'm done! ______Richard_______"

maskedlord.livejournal.com

Application for Vhaeraun (Forgotten Realms)

(Spoilers for The Lady Penitent series)

He thought he may have been scratched in a few places, an indicator that
his little ruse may have put him a bit closer to danger than he would
have liked. Vhaeraun took a look at the stinging hand in question
and only saw a shallow cut, the only part of him that had not
avoided Eilistraee’s sword in the midst of her mad, animalistic
swinging before he summoned an avatar in his place while he
departed from her realm.

The remains of that avatar were now a collection of bloody chunks floating in the astral;
the small piece of a head uttering a groan was an especially nice touch.
This was no simple avatar he had summoned, though; he had put a tiny
slice of his divine essence that would taste like the real thing when a
certain goddess ripped into it and claimed it for her own.

She would think she had usurped her evil brother’s power to
incorporate his worshippers into her pathetic “dance” and she
had to a point, she would have some autonomy over his worshipers
before the essence grew in unholy power and would devour her goodly
soul from the inside out. Vhaeraun would keep a close eye on the
proceedings, though he needed to lay low for a while.
It did not take him long to research potential places in other realms
that would provide a nice vacation for a little while.

His hair a bright shade of gold, he entered the portal and shot to his
chosen destination, a wide room of simple, yet ornate styling. The lithely
built dark elf was clad in his favorite high-buttoned black shirt and tight black
leggings leaving very little to the mortal imagination. His high black boots
were impeccably polished compared to the velvet shimmer of his thick
black cape. He looked at the desk in front of him, green eyes peering
through his red half-mask, hair turning green as he picked up a quill and
filled out the requisite, yet laughably simple inquiry.

( Oh What Fun Can We Have Here )

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy,
cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____Vhaeraun______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each
and every one of them. _____Vhaeraun_____.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch.
_____Vhaeraun ____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world.
______Vhaeraun_____"

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Entries tagged with valentine wolfe

Compy Post: Your secrets

A note to Valentine Wolfe (Closed RP, Vlad/Valentine)

Potions class

Potions sign-up!

Potions Office Hours: Valentine Feels Bored and Scholarly

De-hiatusing post and open RP!

Application for Ursula: The Little Mermaid

Application: GLaDOS - Portal

Open RP with Draco

Potions Class

Potions sign-ups!

Open RP: Potions office hours!

tea party in the staff lounge (open to faculty and staff, and to TAs whose prof invited them)

owls to all professors and staff of Hogwarts, from Albus Dumbledore

Open RP: Potions Office Hours

Owl to Dr. Mohinder Suresh

Owl to the Sorting Hat, with attatched CV

Application for Kathryn Merteuil (Cruel Intentions)

Application for Richard, "Looking For Group" (webcomic)

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March 2022

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