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[maskedlord.livejournal.com]

Application for Vhaeraun (Forgotten Realms)

 

(Spoilers for The Lady Penitent series)

He thought he may have been scratched in a few places, an indicator that
his little ruse may have put him a bit closer to danger than he would
have liked. Vhaeraun took a look at the stinging hand in question
and only saw a shallow cut, the only part of him that had not
avoided Eilistraee’s sword in the midst of her mad, animalistic
swinging before he summoned an avatar in his place while he
departed from her realm.

The remains of that avatar were now a collection of bloody chunks floating in the astral;
the small piece of a head uttering a groan was an especially nice touch.
This was no simple avatar he had summoned, though; he had put a tiny
slice of his divine essence that would taste like the real thing when a
certain goddess ripped into it and claimed it for her own.

She would think she had usurped her evil brother’s power to
incorporate his worshippers into her pathetic “dance” and she
had to a point, she would have some autonomy over his worshipers
before the essence grew in unholy power and would devour her goodly
soul from the inside out. Vhaeraun would keep a close eye on the
proceedings, though he needed to lay low for a while.
It did not take him long to research potential places in other realms
that would provide a nice vacation for a little while.

His hair a bright shade of gold, he entered the portal and shot to his
chosen destination, a wide room of simple, yet ornate styling. The lithely
built dark elf was clad in his favorite high-buttoned black shirt and tight black
leggings leaving very little to the mortal imagination. His high black boots
were impeccably polished compared to the velvet shimmer of his thick
black cape. He looked at the desk in front of him, green eyes peering
through his red half-mask, hair turning green as he picked up a quill and
filled out the requisite, yet laughably simple inquiry.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

“Anything exceedingly rich and rare. I am a man of very high tastes
and I want my palate to be amused. Rothé cheese is more than a little
boring, though Surface cows do produce an interesting flavor. Cheese
made from a wererat at the height of the full moon, now that is gourmet.”

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

He cocked a fine, green eyebrow in perplexity, recalling what
little he had learned about this realm he was in. “It would have
to be Barney since he is useless. I would turn him into an undead
and see what fun I could have with him. Carrottop is amusement,
so he has a use for at least a moment before he will amuse me
as a headless corpse.

3. What time is it where you are?

His hair and eyes turn blue as he grins. “Night, it is always night in the
shadows.”

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which
member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass?
How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please
answer as if you were Sirius Black.

“Why must one be choosy of his pursuits? I would choose the fairest
first then work my way through the ranks, maybe try a few at the same time.” 

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which
you bartend, in the dark.

“The Dead Spider, guess what the décor would be. Or perhaps The
Masked Lady’s Final Rest, and I will hold the party there after the bitch
finally dies.”

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married
to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies
to bolster your argument.

“Marriage is as real as an intelligent Selvetargtlin and has just as much
to do with slavery. I say the three should just get in a room with some
wine and some scented oil and enjoy their lives. As for mythologies, it
reminds me of a rather droll occasion involving Grazz’t, Garagos, and
a goat. I think the lower realms were buzzing about it for centuries."

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my
desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m
constantly disposing of it.

“Because maybe your true calling in the universe just results in the
mundane, perpetually playing the servant when you could be a king.
There is a very fine solution to this if you allow me some of your time.”
His hair and eyes turn gold.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

“It is called thousands of drow on the Surface taking the land that
is rightfully ours. It is a male who kills his Matron Mother, a female
who wants to hear her own voice, a child who wants to decide his
own lot in life and not have it dictated by House or whether the
Spider Bitch is happy. I have made that happen; great things have
been done in my name, though I will refrain from bragging any
further. Though my truest victories are for a future time.”

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not
squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the
person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe.
A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have
enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically
squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

“Name your poison, I have anything your blackest heart desires.
Do you wish for flesh, I can arrange that. Maybe you care for riches,
they shall be yours. Wisdom is also possible through me. However, if
you are motivated by instant gratification.” He waves his hand, showing
a mound of jewels, gold pieces, weapons, and a succubus and incubus
writhing suggestively on top.

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy,
cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____Vhaeraun______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each
and every one of them. _____Vhaeraun_____.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch.
_____Vhaeraun ____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world.
______Vhaeraun_____"