[identity profile] heygirlsname.livejournal.com
It was a normal day at Sacred HeartHogwarts. I’d woken up to the smooth sounds of Colin Hay, gone through my newly instituted exfoliation regime –the Scottish air was absolute murder on the ol’ pores- and capped it all off with a delicious banana smoothie for breakfast.

But during my walk to the hospital wing, I couldn’t help but notice that something seemed...off. I decided to crank up Mr. Hay on my Ipod, while I pondered the situation.

I can't get to sleep/I think about the implications/Of diving in too deep/And possibly the complications/Especially at night/I worry over situations/I know I'll be alright/Perhaps it's just imagination/Day after day it reappears/Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear/Ghosts appear and fade away )

Like I was saying, before I started wondering exactly what house Colin Hay would be sorted into (I’d finally reached the conclusion that he’d be a Gryffinpuffelsyltherclaw – you can’t keep all that talent in one tiny house), something at Hogwarts seemed off.

And as I passed the popcorn room on my way to work, I finally figured out why.

Doctor Cox. Carla. That...tiny British red headed lady who reminded me a little of Ron Howard. And even Doug! They were all gone!

All of them.

Which...which meant...

Oh my god.

“I’m the head of the hospital wing,” I said, in a dazed sort of awe. “I’m...I’m a wunderkind.”

Wait 'till I told Turk! I could totally pull some strings and make him my personal, chocolatey assistant! Oh, wow, this was-

...hey. What was the butter smell?
[identity profile] vislor-turlough.livejournal.com
OOC: While the people below have signed up, this is open for anyone to enter the crazy.


So. It's Valentine's Day. Turlough had rounded up a few house elves to do his bidding. Said bidding was to set up tables with name cards, a table with food and drink (which may or may not be hexed, I couldn't decide), and a sign:

We will not be responsible for anyone fed love potions.

Because someone will.

We also will not be responsible for any actions here on in.

Turlough stood in the corner of the Great Hall, drink in hand, smirk on face as he watched people come on (or forced in by cattleprod point, in Soichiro's case.)

[identity profile] thequeenbluth.livejournal.com
((Note for those of you who have not seen Arrested Development: The show has a narrator, who is voiced by Ron Howard and who acts like sort of a Greek Chorus, commenting on the action. He's very integral to the style of the show, so I've chosen to include him here. That said, this is totally a stylistic thing -- like how some characters are written in first-person -- so your characters won't be able to hear anything, and anyone with psychic or extrasensory abilities isn't going to notice anything. It's just for fun.

Anything written in italics will be the narrator's commentary.

Also, there are spoilers in the comments, so be forewarned!))


This is Lucille Bluth. Moments ago, she was on the deck of the Queen Mary, but now she's found herself here, in a very strange place indeed.

"What the hell is this?" Lucille snapped. "Is this one of GOB's stupid magic tricks? Oh, God." She sighed wearily, putting a hand to her forehead. "I knew I shouldn't have gotten into the Aztec Tomb."

Lucille's oldest son, George Oscar Bluth II, a.k.a. GOB, was a magician who had given Lucille absolutely no reason to believe in magic. His most notorious trick was called the Aztec Tomb, and it had had some poor results in the past.

"GOB?" Lucille shouted at the walls. "You let me out of here right now, or so help me--"

And that was when Lucille spotted the form sitting on the table in front of her.

"Oh? What's this?" Lucille moved closer to take a look. "Application...? What on earth?" Suddenly, her face cleared. "Oh! This must be for the club. Well, if it will get us back in..."

She sat down and began to write, only to discover that the pen -- actually a Dictaquill -- was already doing the writing for her. Assuming the country club she thought she was at had upgraded its computer systems, she took this in stride.

And can I get a vodka tonic? )

"I have read the [livejournal.com profile] hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. LB
I have read the [livejournal.com profile] hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. LB.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. LB.
One day, marmalade I marmalade will rule the world. LB"
[identity profile] hedwigrobinson.livejournal.com
My darling fashionistas and Pam,

I have the most wonderful news. My adopted son Michael has had the unexpected return of his fiancé Tinky Winky. I have never met the man but I am told he represents all that is fabulous. Michael is extremely excited at the prospect of his upcoming defloration.

Let us not be coy, ladies and gentlemen. The theme here is of things lavender and transgressive. We must serve foods that are symbolic of the bond Michael and Tinky Winky will be enjoying. I have in mind bagels and doughnuts. I have located some very promising textiles for use as tablecloths or maybe draperies for the hall. Swatches are enclosed. You must agree they transcend camp to become godlike in their stylishness.

Kelly is the leader of our merry band and I am told she has corresponded with the Big Winky himself, so I am hoping there will be some enlightenment as to his tastes. Michael says that Pam is a must on this Party Planning Committee, so, hello, Miss Pam. And I do not think I could face this task without aid from Sasan, who surely can find the suit that will make my Michael the most charming of princes. Should it be a tuxedo? Should he wear cowboy boots? I am told cowboys are of symbolic importance to the happy couple.

I await your responses with the fondest wishes. We should all meet to talk about this in person, too. Are there any clubs in Hogsmeade of the night variety?

'Big Hug' to you all,
Hedwig

swatches of fabric are attached - image-heavy!: )
[identity profile] anythingawesome.livejournal.com
Kelly was married. How totally romantic! And after the standard one year of newlywedded bliss, there would be baaaaabies. But before the babies, there was something very important she needed to take care of. Sitting down, she pulled out two sheets of purple, scented stationary, and began to write.

Owls to Hedwig Robinson and Judy Poovey )
[identity profile] turnthenipsdown.livejournal.com
Okay, this place? Effing huge. No really, the vaulted ceilings. Gorgeous woodwork up there, if Sasan should say so himself. The cobblestone floors? Tapestries and plush carpeting and guh. Totally... some past century or something. Medieval. Something like that. But compared to The Mansion, said with implied capitals for emphasis? Seriously, ew. Look at all the cobwebs in the upper corners. Practically inhabitable.

Why was he here again? )


"I have read the [livejournal.com profile] hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Sasan.
I have read the [livejournal.com profile] hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Sasan.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickersnew Cavalli boxers and they're silk, don't be jealous. In a bunch. Sasan.
One day, marmaladeKiki Spelling will rule the world. ...Oh, wait, she totally does already. Sasan.
[identity profile] tartan-pussy.livejournal.com
Married! Of all the things Minerva had been in her life, married was not one of them. At least Dumbledore was in the same cluster of tents as her. She set out to find him and hopefully run into her new husband along the way.
[identity profile] schrute-dwight.livejournal.com
Well. It was about time that this school started behaving in a sensible fashion. Unlike most of his fellow students, Dwight was thrilled at the odd turn of events. Yes. Marriage was most agreeable. Sadly, it could not be to Angela, but a Schrute always looked towards the future!

Heading to tent 23, he was even more ecstatic to find that not only would he be given a wife to produce suitable Schrute offspring, but he had a whole beet farm! Yes! Total score.

Unbeknownst to him, his bride(s!) had already arrived. But Dwight was much too busy setting up a few things to go inside and look! First of all, there were three flags in his front yard. The first (and tallest) was American. Because that was the country of his birth. The second was Scottish. Because that was the country where he currently was. And the third was Dunder-Mifflin. The greatest paper selling company in the world (tm). Also, he had a fresh outfit, complete with a new bonnet waiting. All Schrute women were beautiful, of course, but there was no reason to dress like it.

When his wife (wives, though he didn't know it!) wandered outside, they would find Dwight shirtless, wearing khakis and suspenders and a hat, hoeing rows for his beet seedlings. There was much work to do if he was going to fulfill his dream of opening a beet juice stand!
[identity profile] daxtastic.livejournal.com
Hey all! As some of you already know, I am about to embark on a cross-country trek in order to relocate to the lovely state of Colorado. As such, I will be taking a weeklong hiatus, until the 17th.

All Family Values tags will be resumed (or started) in about a week, as already arranged with the very understanding fellow muns. No away messages for my characters - assume they are settling into married life with very limited degrees of success (except for Sandra, who's already married, thanks so much.

...And Dax, who really doesn't see what the big deal is.)

You might see me poking around irc, if any of our cheap motels have internet access. Otherwise, I'll see everyone in a week!
[identity profile] kamikazejudy.livejournal.com
This place is so RETRO. )

"I have read the [livejournal.com profile] hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. JP
I have read the [livejournal.com profile] hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. JP.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. JP.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. JP"
[identity profile] ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com
Thanks to Hogwarts magic and a little help from the infamous house-elf gossip network, the Hat kept abreast of the entertaining chaotic general goings-on throughout its kingdom school. When it heard that groundskeeper Dean Winchester had put a bun in student Stephanie Brown's oven, it wasn't the whole faculty-student taboo that put a corresponding bee in the Hat's bonnet. (A hat in a bonnet? Oooh, avant-garde!) No, it was the total lack of regard for family values! It was one thing for faculty to engage in hanky-panky, or even Jenga, with students. That was fine. Everyone did it. But impregnation without benefit of ceremony? What would Dr. Phil say? What would Dr. Laura say?

(The Hat didn't use its wizarding wireless to listen to WART. It preferred Muggle talk radio. We're not talking NPR.)

So the Hat had taken matters into its own capable straps. Champion of family values that it was, it decided that if Dean wasn't going to make an honest woman out of Steph, then the Hat would make an honest woman out of Dean! Or, no, wait. An honest ... something. Anyway. They were going to get married, whether they liked it or not! And their offspring would be born into legal wedlock, thank you very much! Legal and binding under the Ministry of Magic's standards!

The unsuspecting bride had been summoned to the Great Hall under the pretext of a detention to serve. The equally unsuspecting groom had been summoned to the Great Hall under the pretext of groundskeeping duties to perform. And two mighty wedding planners had been recruited to make this a day they'd always remember and cherish ... well, at least, a day they'd always remember ...

Hey, little sister -- shotgun! / It's a nice day to start again / It's a nice day for a white wedding )

When the clock struck the appointed hour, all was ready. The Hat hovered in gleeful anticipation, waiting for the victims happy couple to appear!
[identity profile] hedwigrobinson.livejournal.com
Kelly, honey,

How is your part of the planning coming? I thought you might like to see photos of the wedding attire I have picked out for the happy couple. The Hat informed me that the bride is not yet 'showing', so the waistline should not be a problem.

Kisses,
Hedwig

[Polaroids of the following are paperclipped to the parchment:

the bridal gown

the groom's suit, with a scrawled notation on the white portion of the Polaroid: Olive green? I don't think so. Substitute blue shirt to match trim on bride's gown ]
[identity profile] crazynotstoned.livejournal.com
((Hi all :D Sorry for the delay on this -- I was away, and then I was sicky sickity sick sick sick. Pretend the cast list was posted, you know, a week ago. To avoid spamming the comm I'm putting the rehearsal RP and the cast list in the same post -- OOC details on the rehearsal below!))

After carefully considering the auditions (and drinking himself into a stupor over some of them), Geoffrey made his decisions and carefully put together his cast. He posted the list up by the door in the Great Hall for everyone to see.

As it turns out, not quite enough people showed up to auditions, so a certain lucky few had been reluctantly allowed back into the cast...

The List )
~*~*~

And so, one week later, Geoffrey sat in the empty classroom on the third floor and waited for his cast to arrive. The room was dominated by three long tables, forming the shape of a U, with an open space behind them. Geoffrey was seated at the bottom of the U, hunched over a sheaf of notes, scrawling quick, last-minute notes on them before the others got there. He'd lost a week of work thanks to the whole Twelfth Night debacle, and as a result things had been a little stressful for him since the auditions. Ellen had been weirdly helpful, but still... he was kind of nervous.

It didn't help that this play, this particular play, was the very last play the last Oliver Wells, Geoffrey's one-time best friend, mentor, and later personal ghost, had put on before he'd died. That wasn't helping at all. He kept expecting the man to show up again to help out -- he almost wished for it to happen, because he missed him, but the thought made the hair on the back of his neck stand up anyway.

Casting one last worried glance at the door, Geoffrey bit his lip and scribbled down another note. Oliver, Ellen, Bun-Bun, the cast... someone had to show up soon.

OOC Note Part 2 )
[identity profile] tartan-pussy.livejournal.com
Posters appear magically all over the school that say:

Midsummer's Festival

When: Tonight!
Where: By the lake
What: A party celebrating the summer solstice.

There will be food, drink and a bonfire! All students are invited.


((OOC: All RPing for the festival should take place in this post.))

Down by the lake, there is a large, magical bonfire with red dirt next to it, to throw into the fire. There are also long tables, loaded with cabbage and potato soup, grilled sardines, bread, peanuts, potatoes, sausages, sweet rice, cheese, and more traditional fare. The entirety of the Ravenclaw bar seems to have manifested itself on the long tables as well.

Dumbledore is also there and willing to help with the arranging of traditional mock-marriages!
[identity profile] hedwigrobinson.livejournal.com
A slender, slightly-built woman staggered into the Sorting Room on high-heeled boots, emerging from a cloud of smoke, the kind a fog machine might make, stage-smoke. Wild eyes peered from garish pools of makeup, darting confused glances here and there. Hedwig Robinson tugged at the hems of her cutoffs and smoothed sweaty palms along her gleaming stockinged thighs.

She answered the questions in a voice somehow gravelly and clear at once, flavored with a pronounced East German accent. The questions seemed to amuse her. Everything seemed to amuse her, in a sort of bitter way.

To be free, one must give up a little part of oneself. ...  )

I have read the [livejournal.com profile] hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. HR
I have read the [livejournal.com profile] hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. HR.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. HR.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. HR
[identity profile] holy-aziraphale.livejournal.com
((Open RP in the Library, for all interested students))

A parchment appeared on the campus notice board, written in black ink in an elegant hand.

To All Students,

Interested in Theology and Metaphysics? Philosophical naggings and magical conundrums? Paradoxes that need to be para-doctored? Trying to find the meaning of life? Or just why in the world you showed up here in the first place? Want to share your afterlife or supernatural experiences? Then come to the Library and look for Aziraphale, bringing your favorite metaphysical, philosophical, or theological text - and any misprint Bibles or rare books you may have. (I buy and sell!)

Owl me with any questions or discussion topics.

Ineffably,

Aziraphale, Hufflepuff

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