[identity profile] ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com
The Sorting Hat had a new lease on life, thanks to the return of its abducted bride. In Virginia's absence, the Hat had fretted alone in the Hat House, leaving only grudgingly for the Sortings it must perform, and using the rest of its time for contemplation so emo as to be worthy of the most bespandexed Gryffindor. Had it a navel, it would have contemplated that.

After playing on repeat 20 times a compilation of wizarding musicians' covers of Morrissey's greatest hits, the Hat reached a conclusion.

It was meant to be alone. Everyone, everywhere, was meant to be alone. Marriage was a charade for little minds.

Of course the mass marriages had produced not a single duck waffle. How could such a tender and precious thing as a duck waffle be produced from the sterile and meaningless institution of marriage? The farce must end. Now.

The Hat had been waiting until Virginia came back safely to make any changes in school routine. Now that she was back, the time had come.

Movers came to take back all the tents and hot tubs -- they'd only been rentals. The rec center and boat ride remained, but El Mundo del Sombrero was no more. Its tenants were summarily evicted, herded back to their dorm room by the house elf phalanxes that had herded them to the village in the first place. It happened like this:

Three a.m. Knocks and scuffles and loud thumps audible from outside every tent, as the earth released the hot tubs under power of levitation spells. Lots of elves in strange uniforms directed the hot tubs elsewhere, back to the warehouse-of-holding where Rent-A-Village stored its goods. More elves stormed into the tents without warning and roused the sleepy residents, presenting them with the following eviction notice:


Congratulations! Your marriage is null and void! Consider yourself evicted. Your belongings are being moved to your former dorm rooms by house-elves and you are hereby commanded to report to the castle! Isn't that great?

There will be a welcome-back party tonight in the Great Hall! Be there!


Now things could get back to normal, with plenty of healthy debauchery and lack of attachment! A Welcome Back party was in order, for Virginia and for all the students!

Valentine took the return of his belongings (mostly consisting of his stolen, transfigured, and jury-rigged drug lab equipment) back to their proper places in Slytherin to be a sign that a celebration was coming. And what was a celebration without treats? He had no doubt that people were going to be going wild over the dissolution of their marriages, from the amount of complaining that he had overheard in his stay at El Mundo del Sombrero. He had to admit that he was hardly free from guilt in that regard.

And so, in a stunning display of philanthropy, he decided to be generous. One trip to the Hufflepuff food library and an hour and a half of charms, hexes, and injecting questionable substances into food later, he had a veritable feast prepared and ready to be delivered with an anonymous note of congratulations for the Hat. Hot Pockets of all flavors (including cactus-leaves, Bertie Botts' Every-Flavored Beans, and other such unusual fillings), punch with something vaguely fruit-like dissolving in it, jelly donuts... and all guaranteed to give the unwitting reveler who tried them a little surprise.

Excited, the Hat knew that this congratulatory note from a secret admirer confirmed the Hat's own glorious and benevolent wisdom. Everyone must surely appreciate everything the Hat did for them. The note was like a straw poll, showing the Hat's approval ratings were way up, not that approval mattered at all since the Hat didn't give a shit whether anyone was happy.

Stoned off of his ass and hallucinating colors that didn't exist, Valentine settled back to watch the mayhem. Life was grand.

((It's up to the player to chose whether they've gotten something drugged or charmed, and what result is visited upon them, just like a regular chocolate plot.))
[identity profile] redballerina.livejournal.com
((Takes place shortly after this. Open to all, but especially Chiana, Bombalurina, Jack Hodgins, Bun-Bun, Jack Sparrow, Jadzia Dax, Strong Bad and Strong Sad.))

The search for a party had gone badly. Apparently people were still too befuddled about their new state of holy matrimony to really indulge in drinking just yet, so Chiana and Bombalurina had returned to their own cluster, settling down by the hot-tub together with Chiana's lovely bottle of spiced rum. There was significantly less of it now than there had been half an hour earlier.

Bomba was feeling light-headed and rather giggly. It was not a common feeling for her, but during the circumstances it was doubtlessly a pleasant one. She'd be able to deal with this whole arranged marriage a lot better while intoxicated, even though her spouse was actually a rather nice chick with a lot of really great opinions... Not that Bombalurina could really remember most of Chiana's opinions, but yeah, they were very insightful and clever, evenso!

They were sitting there taking turns in drinking the rum, and soon the redhead found it in her to wave on a House-elf. Ordering them around was second nature to her by now, and she commanded it to find them music and some more of that, wossname... Rum thing. Mm. Rum.

Soon the area around the hot-tub was... well, not jumping. That took more than just two people. But there were two gorgeous women there, at least one definitely tipsy, and there was a boom-box and alcohol. A House-elf had accepted the role of DJ-ing, even, and played music loudly enough to attract more people... Hopefully, in Bomba's opinion, these people would bring more booze.
[identity profile] yohohofro.livejournal.com
A rather odd looking skeleton suddenly appears in the great hall.  Taking a sip of tea from the cup he's holding, he looks around.  Suddenly, he shouts, "Aaaaah!  Where am I?!"  Spotting the application lying nearby, he picks it up.  "Oh well, I might as well fill out this paper!  Yohohoho!"


"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ___Brooke___
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ___Brooke___.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ___Brooke___.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ___Brooke___"
[identity profile] wayward-son124.livejournal.com
Okay, so I'm not going to be around much for the coming week or so. Exams! Fun times all around :D I just printed out two study guides, one 17 pages and the other 38, and... realized that I am going to have to do this, because that's just for two out of my seven classes.

So, yes. I am barely going to be around until Tuesday. I might scrunch some time in between studying sessions so I don't go insane, but just to let people know why my tagging is going to be horrendously slow.


Sincerely,
Hillary
Aka, Dean/Wilson/Lorelai/Bones/Zack/Tenna/Pickles/Ophelia/Jack Sparrow/Doug/Veronica/Marla/Jenks/IHaveTooManyCharacters!mun :D
[identity profile] hedwigrobinson.livejournal.com
A slender, slightly-built woman staggered into the Sorting Room on high-heeled boots, emerging from a cloud of smoke, the kind a fog machine might make, stage-smoke. Wild eyes peered from garish pools of makeup, darting confused glances here and there. Hedwig Robinson tugged at the hems of her cutoffs and smoothed sweaty palms along her gleaming stockinged thighs.

She answered the questions in a voice somehow gravelly and clear at once, flavored with a pronounced East German accent. The questions seemed to amuse her. Everything seemed to amuse her, in a sort of bitter way.

ExpandTo be free, one must give up a little part of oneself. ...  )

I have read the [livejournal.com profile] hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. HR
I have read the [livejournal.com profile] hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. HR.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. HR.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. HR
[identity profile] parlulilaloo.livejournal.com
(( Permission given by Pirates-muns! I'm taking Jack just after At World's End, like Norrington has been, so I'm warning ye now for some spoilers. Not much in the way of major ones in the post, but I'm not promising for the comments >>; Other than that... up, up and away! ))

ExpandPopcorn. Native American-based, of course. Inventors of snowshoes. )
[identity profile] cafpowgirl.livejournal.com
She paused for a moment. Although she'd been here once before, Hogwarts was quite an imposing presence. But, they'd needed her back at NCIS, so she left reluctantly.  The situation had been resolved, and she'd requested a leave of absence. At first Jen wasn't going to let her go, but Gibbs convinced her. All her life, Abby'd put her faith in science, trusting that things could be explained logiccally through basic scientific principles. But now, there was magic. Magic, with wands, curses, charms, and owls delivering messages. If she hadn't came back, well, she'd spend the rest of her life asking 'what if'. Abby wasn't a what-if kind of girl. She believed in trying most things at least once, and some a lot more. Carrying her bag with her laptop, a case of Caf-Pow, and some other things, she stepped into the hallway and just paused. Drawing a deep breath, she couldn't help but feel excited. Who knew what would happen this time?
[identity profile] thranduils-son.livejournal.com
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
There is a special sugared cheese that my people make, somewhat a delicacy, the cheese itself made from goat's milk. I must confess I favour it a great deal, perhaps more than might be thought healthy, I'm often told in jest.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
I do not perceive either poor creature as a threat, but if they must be disposed of, the red haired Man would be the logical first target. By the looks of him, he could run much faster than the curiously stunted purple dragonish being.

3. What time is it where you are?
The sun rose nearly three hours ago, by my estimation. That means it will be midday in roughly three and one-half hours.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
What a peculiar question. I can't claim to know Albus Dumbledore's preferences, and my own are surely no business of yours. (What sort of guild is this?) But I do not like to leave your questions unanswered, so I'll have to choose the most Dwarf-like.

"Mad-Eye"? Is that his name? Yes, I'll choose him. The- method, if I may refer to it as such, would depend on many factors, not least of which would be his willingness to engage in them with an Elf and ultimately be wed to me. You see, Elves do not participate in intimacies of that nature with any save their chosen mate...

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

A tavern is an unlikely place to find me, and to tend one, in the dark of all things! I've never heard of such foolishness. That would be far from my chosen occupation. But I shall answer your question to the best of my ability.

Journey's End. Does it not have a welcoming sound to it? No? ...Naming an imaginary tavern which I'll never tend is a bit difficult.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Is Harry betrothed to either? The debate would seem, to me, moot if he is not. Too often it is folly to seek the counsel of others in matters of such a sensitive nature. It would be wisest to let his own heart lead him to his choice, for only Harry can know what he feels. If one day I am privy to that knowledge, I might better advise him, if still pressed to answer. Until then I'm afraid I have no argument.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
I'm unsure why. This is a question Lord Aragorn or wise Gandalf could answer more knowledgeably than I. If you need assistance in some way, that I can give to you. I can make pretty origami out of all the paper.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
I pledged myself and my bow to eight companions, or the Fellowship of the Ring, as might be the familiar name to you. I remained true 'til the ending of the Fellowship, through many dark and perilous days. If this does not prove my worth, or rather if I must elaborate on the part I played for those unaware, let it not be said that my skills with bow and long knife are easily dismissed.

I am also a good scout of my people, possess great knowledge of Elven crafting, and my voice is considered very fair in song.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I explained my skills, and I offer them to the members of this establishment. What have you need for?

I can spare Elven cloaks and weapons, lembas (Elven waybread), and might not mind crafting something for you, if that be your desire. I could plait your hair in any manner you wish. The nimble fingers of Elves can produce many fine things. I hear tell of a dear friend of mine being led here, and indeed if I'm not mistaken I have noticed his own fine work possessed by a few among you? It would lighten my heart if I might be permitted to see him while in attendance here, so I do hope to be accepted.
[identity profile] captain-reynold.livejournal.com
((OOC: Sorry everybody, I'm pulling a Chuck Weasley and deciding that, despite my former decision to leave, I think I'll stick around as Captains Jack and Mal for the time being. For any of you wishing to take over one character or the other, I apologize profusely.))

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