Application for Brook (One Piece)

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

A rather odd looking skeleton suddenly appears in the great hall.  Taking a sip of tea from the cup he's holding, he looks around.  Suddenly, he shouts, "Aaaaah!  Where am I?!"  Spotting the application lying nearby, he picks it up.  "Oh well, I might as well fill out this paper!  Yohohoho!"

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

As a gentleman, I would prefer the finest of cheeses!  Only the finest!  But, if you don't have any, I'll eat what's left. I haven't had cheese in so long that my tongue longs for its taste! Well, not that I have a tongue! Yohohohoho!!

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

What?!  A gentleman never kills without reason!  No matter what crime they have committed, death is definately not an appropriate punishment!

Unless they're zombies.

3. What time is it where you are?

4:44 AM.  Oh my, what an unlucky number.  Perhaps this is an omen?  Yes!  An omen of good luck!  Yohohoho!

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

Tonks. A beautiful girl like that is the most pleasing thing to my eyes!  Exquisite!  But because I'm a skeleton, my eyes have long since rotted away! Yohohoho!!

Can I see her panties?

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

Just Dead Bones.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

If I were Harry, I would go with the one that made my heart beat the fastest. Of course, I don't have a heart anymore! Yohohoho!!

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

It must be ghosts! Although I am a gentleman, I can not help you with that.  I have a terrible fear of ghosts!  I'll cry out the second I see one!

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

I am far from useless!  I'm a genius musician, and as such my musical instruments are my pride!  I'm also a pirate and a gentleman, but that's another story!  Yohohohohoho!!

I can also poop!

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you.

Yohohoho! As I said before, I'm a musician! I could teach anybody that wants to learn a new instrument how to play it!

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ___Brooke___
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ___Brooke___.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ___Brooke___.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ___Brooke___"

Comments

Vote: hufflepuff

[moonylicious.livejournal.com]

"I don't normally squib most applicants, but not only do you want to see Tonks's panties, which I am sure she wouldn't appreciate, but you are also a pirate, which are the true enemies of all ninja kind. But I do agree with your thoughts on zombies, so, against my own better judgment, I am voting you into Hufflepuff."

Re: Vote: hufflepuff

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

Pirates, enemies to ninjas? That was a new one. "Pardon me, but since when has such a feud between pirates and ninjas existed?"

Re: Vote: hufflepuff

[moonylicious.livejournal.com]

"Since midsummer, (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1370408.html?thread=69446440#t69446440) actually," Remus responded. "The pirates started it by casting aspersions on the characters of all ninjas."

Re: Vote: hufflepuff

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

"Ah, so it's no wonder I wouldn't know about it! You see, I've been adrift at sea for years upon years, out of contact with any sort of culture," Brook said, looking about as somber as a skeleton could look "I suppose I should apologize for the actions of my fellow pirates. But first, would you mind answering a question for me? Aren't ninjas simply assassins, or are they somehow different in this world?"

Re: Vote: hufflepuff

[moonylicious.livejournal.com]

"Some of us are. But some of us are just, well, masters of subtlety and subterfuge. As for your fellow pirates, the apology is accepted, since you are new here." Even Remus couldn't be deliberately cruel to an undeserving new applicant, pirate or not.

Re: Vote: hufflepuff

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

"Ah, I see." That still sounded like an assassin, but Brook didn't want to get sucked up into the feud just yet. "The thing about us pirates is that most of us have very hot blood in our hearts. Not that I can include myself in that, as I no longer have blood or a heart! Yohohoho!"

Re: Vote: hufflepuff

[moonylicious.livejournal.com]

Perhaps in bad fanfiction, Remus Lupin would have taken the hot-blooded statement as a come-on. But this was not bad fanfiction, and so he nodded.

"That clears up... a lot, actually," he remarked, smiling
\

Re: Vote: hufflepuff

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

"To fly into the impossible and expect victory, to come back to life just to meet a single friend after 50 years, to fight against the very sea itself, such is a pirate's life! But, I find myself curious as to the mindset behind a ninja, if it wouldn't be too much to ask," Brook said, genuinely curious. What exactly was the opposite of a pirate like?

[battlefranky36.livejournal.com]

Franky didn't believe his eyes. "Oi, Brook! Is that really you?!" A familiar face, any familiar face, was a welcome thing to Franky. Even if that familiar face was just a skull. Franky tried to say something, but was sobbing too much and his words were lost.

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

"Franky! Are you alright?" Brook wanted to be excited about meeting a friend almost immediately after arriving in this strange place, but Franky's tears made it very hard.

[battlefranky36.livejournal.com]

"IDIOT! As if I'd be crying!" Franky sobbed, barely managing to get the words out of his mouth. Wiping away his tears, Franky looked at Brook with a wide grin. "It's great to see you."

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

"So, Franky, what is this place?" Brook asked. "This isn't familiar to me at all. Perhaps...I've died and gone to the next life? AH! I'M NOT READY TO DIE AGAIN!"

[battlefranky36.livejournal.com]

"Don't worry, you're still the same level of dead as always. This place, to put it simply, is a school for magic." Franky had quite a few more theories about it, but those are best saved for another time. For some reason, Franky glanced at the floor near Brook's feet and noticed something that was supposed to both not be there and be there. "Oi, Brook! Your shadow! It's back!"

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

"My shadow?" Slowly, Brook's eyes turned towards his feet. "My shadow! It's returned to me! But how? I haven't earned it back yet?" Something strange was definately going on, but Brook wasn't quite sure what it was.

Vote: Hufflepuff

[battlefranky36.livejournal.com]

"I bet it's because of this school. Alot of weird stuff happens here, so a shadow returning to it's home isn't that much of a stretch in these walls," Franky said, thinking. "But! The most important thing right now is keeping you from being squibbed. If you end up squibbed, you might as well be dead. To start off, I'll vote you into my house, Hufflepuff."

Re: Vote: Hufflepuff

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

Brook looked shocked. "To say 'you might as well be dead' to a skeleton...squibbing must be a truly horrible thing! To prevent that fate, I'll become twice the gentleman that I already am! Yohohohoho!"

Re: Vote: Hufflepuff

[battlefranky36.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but two times zero is still zero Franky thought. "Oi, well, I guess I'll see you after the sorting. If you feel scared, you can always yell out 'Come help me, Franky-aniki!'" Franky said, as he started to leave the room.

Re: Vote: Hufflepuff

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

"N-no, that's alright," Brook said without even having to consider the thought.

[parlulilaloo.livejournal.com]

Oy. More skeletons. Jack wasn't sure whether to stand and fight or run like a sissy!.

Although... You know, cheese. Panties. ...Poop? Er, well. Plus a fine affinity for being a pirate. Made for a rather outstanding person, didn't it? Jack furrowed his eyebrows at the newcomer, one thumb hooked into his belt as he glanced the skeleton over, a bit appreciatively.

"I like you."

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

Ah! Somebody liked him already! And, by the looks of it, another pirate! Maybe this place wasn't so bad after all.

"Ah, such a warm greeting from a stranger! It makes my eyes well up with tears, not that I have eyes anymore! Yohohoho! So, by what name should I address you by?"

[parlulilaloo.livejournal.com]

Yes, a very enthusiastic pirate. Said 'Yohoho' a bit too much to be healthy. Or at least for Jack's liking. "Captain Jack Sparrow, naturally," he announced with a wide look to his eyes, and paused, pouting his lip. "Or... 's a bit long, really. Jack, then! Or Franklin. Whichever name you want to, really."

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

So, he was a captain. Did this mean that there was another entire pirate crew here? "It is truly a pleasure to meet you, Jack! Would you mind answering a simple question for me? Are there any other pirates here?"

[parlulilaloo.livejournal.com]

Entire pirate crew? Especially one for him to boss around? He wished! He opened his mouth, to say that actually, he would mind answering a question, lad, but... apparently, he did not get to respond to that part. Just as well. Jack started looking over his shoulder, squinting his eyes, as if to search for other pirates. "I've not seen any meself," he commented aloud, finally looking back to the skeleton. "One rather disgusting smelling Admiral, but I'm not sure on the pirates, mate, I'd have to get back to you on that one."

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

So, Jack didn't know. A pirate captain not knowing whether there are any other pirates around is rarely a good thing. "Wait, an admiral? Does this mean that there's a marine post somewhere close by?" Brook said, looking rather nervous. Even though he had been away from society for years upon years, he remembered the marines.

[parlulilaloo.livejournal.com]

Marine post? Jack hadn't thought of that! Was Norrington building his troops back up? An entire fleet to sail on the... what was there around here? The lake? Not very impressive. Still, an entire fleet of naval ships against one - no, make that two now - pirates... Jack didn't like those odds. "God, man," he scoffed in return, eyes suddenly darting around the room with a beady kind of paranoia. "I should hope not!"

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

"Well, as long as none of them are too strong, I'm sure that a friend of mine and I would be more than a match for them. After all, it took more than marines to kill me the first time! Yohohoho!" Brook responded, wearing as much of a grin as a skeleton could.

[parlulilaloo.livejournal.com]

"Ah, yes, killing," Jack replied with a raised eyebrow. Skeletonized and all that. He'd almost forgotten. Almost! Hey, it was like being back in the first movieIsla de Muerta, moonlight showing skeletons and blah blah blah, all that fun. "Destroying and doing away with and all those lovely synonyms. Synonyms? Descriptions? In whatever case, your skin happens to be missing."

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

"Ah, yes. That. You see, one day my entire crew was set upon by an immensely powerful pirate crew." Brook took a sip from his tea. "To be continued."

[parlulilaloo.livejournal.com]

"To be continued?" Well, that wasn't very happy-making. "Bloody 'ell, you brought the damned thing here, didn't you?" he mused in return, glancing around, as if expecting said crew to start jumping in through the windows.

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

"No, no! That would be quite strange, seeing as they're all dead by the hands of that other crew. I was killed there, too, but my spirit avoided going onto the next life because I had eaten the yomi yomi fruit, allowing me another chance at life. By the time I found my body, however, all that was left was my bones and hair. It was quite a strange sight for my eyes, not that I have eyes anymore! Yohohoho!"

[parlulilaloo.livejournal.com]

Jack pursed his lips for a moment, debating. "Wouldn't be the first person to return from the dead, as it were, mate," he admitted, wrinkling his nose. "I, myself, had found myself in... a bit of a dead situation, really - unavoidable - and voila, I am here standing on this very spit of land today." He raised an eyebrow, wincing slightly. "Not the most unheard of piece of information, lad."

[friendofkittens.livejournal.com]

HELLO THERE.

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

Brook fell to the floor, his jaw agape. It looked as if he wanted to scream, but he was simply unable to. This...this was infinitely scarier than the zombies on that island. "What...what are you?"

[friendofkittens.livejournal.com]

DEATH. Death shrugged. It seemed like the obvious thing to say. NICE HAIR. He owned a hairbrush, and had in fact once tried a wig to see what having hair was like, but it hadn't really stuck.

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

"Th-thank you," Brook whispered, still on the floor. What was Death doing here? Brook had cheated Death once before, maybe that was why he was here now. But why was he acting so...civil? Maybe he didn't recognize me! Yes, that must be it! Yohohohoho!

"What brings such an important figure as yourself to the sorting of a simple man such as myself?" Brook asked, trying not to look directly at Death's face.

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

...where did that tea you just drank go, exactly?

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

"Have you ever seen a mosquito drink blood, my dear?" Brook responded, feeling confident that this was the perfect answer.

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

nnnnnnNo. Why? Have you?

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

"Why yes, I have! When a mosquito drinks blood, it goes directly to the creature's rear! In my old age, this is a rather apt analogy for my digestion of liquids! Yohohoho!" Brook explained, happy just to be talking to her. "How I have missed such lighthearted conversation with such a beauty! How many years has it been since I last had such an experience? Yohohohohoho!" At this point, Brook was more or less dancing and spinning.

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Why thank you! *giggles* So you're like a pirate, right? Got any good treasure? Rum? I'm bribable, y'know.

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

"On my ship, perhaps, but I have come to this place with only the clothes on my back and the skin on my bones, not that I have skin anymore! Yohohoho!" He dared not mention either the sword concealed in his cane or his violin, for he could not part with either. "Perhaps a lesson in music would suffice?"

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. What kind of music are we talking here?

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

"Well, I play the violin, so I suppose that is the only kind of music I can teach! Yohohoho!"

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

The Hat was excited. "Oh, fabulous! A pirate to aid the Hogwarts pirate crew! If I let you into the school, do you promise to teach all our pirate students how to say a proper 'Yo ho ho'? Maybe even teach them some sea chanteys?"

[yohohofro.livejournal.com]

Brook looked at the hat warily. It certainly looked like it might be a zombie, but this place was definately not Thriller Bark, so that wouldn't make any sense. So it must be a regular talking hat! "To become a teacher of the things closest to a pirate's heart would be a delight! Not that I can talk about hearts, seeing as mine rotted away long ago! Yohohohoho!"

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

"That's fantastic!" the Hat burbled. "We don't have a professorship of piracy, unfortunately, but we really do need a kind of roving pirate mentor. Oh, I can hardly wait to see all our pirate students righted to ship-shape! I'll Sort you right away!"

Slytherin!

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Your bribe has been accepted!

Welcome to Slytherin!