Joachim Armster, Castlevania fandom
Mar. 29th, 2006 12:21 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
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1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I can no longer eat cheese, I'm sure it would make me ill. What sort of discriminatory question is this?
From what I remember of cheese, which isn't much, the texture of stepped-in brains is similar to that of certain cheeses. I won't be putting either in my mouth any time soon, thank you.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
The human. I'd remove his sweet head for him, stroke his ginger hair, and tell him what a good boy he is. Oh, I'd like that, I'd like that very, very much.
3. What time is it where you are?
I've not seen the light nor felt the warmth of the sun for many long centuries. For me it will always be night...
Excuse me while I go pen a dreadful metrical composition and impale my wrists on something sharp. I've heard that's what juveniles do for fun these days whenever "darkness" is mentioned in any form.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Tonks has the most fascinating hair, I would dearly like to pet her. Her wolf friend too, if he won't bite terribly hard.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
The Guillotine. I have many ideas for bar entertainment.
B. Gryffindor ā Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Whichever one of them doesn't plan to imprison Harry in the water veinwhich is a fancy name for SEWER of their damned castle for all eternity.
Of equal importance, whichever one bathes more than once a decade. And doesn't cackle in bed. Nnghh.
C. Ravenclaw ā You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though Iām constantly disposing of it.
If you stopped imprisoning your servants on a whim, they'd be more likely to help you.
D. Hufflepuff ā Prove you are not useless.
I wield five swords with my mind alone. (Obligatory "I can kill you with my brain" comment goes here.) I'm adept at my own unique form of magic, with and without the swords and psychic abilities.And I never walk; I levitate, which is the best skill of all.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I have all these nice crystals I could give, that may improve your health or stamina or grant you an interesting power, maybe protect you against certain ailments. I'm told with proper holes in them, they could double as "bowling balls."
Or you may peruse my treasured collection of heads (some little more than skulls now, alas) and choose a pretty one for yourself. I'm most happy to share. If you know how to listen carefully enough they'll even speak to you, but don't pay any mind to their filthy lies. They deserved it.
((ETA: When I signed in today and had 69 comments in my inbox, I snickered like a perverted brat. The Terry/Ryuuji screened convo wins for the leash idea alone. I hope they do give poor Alucard a leash for Joachim. XD))
I can no longer eat cheese, I'm sure it would make me ill. What sort of discriminatory question is this?
From what I remember of cheese, which isn't much, the texture of stepped-in brains is similar to that of certain cheeses. I won't be putting either in my mouth any time soon, thank you.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
The human. I'd remove his sweet head for him, stroke his ginger hair, and tell him what a good boy he is. Oh, I'd like that, I'd like that very, very much.
3. What time is it where you are?
I've not seen the light nor felt the warmth of the sun for many long centuries. For me it will always be night...
Excuse me while I go pen a dreadful metrical composition and impale my wrists on something sharp. I've heard that's what juveniles do for fun these days whenever "darkness" is mentioned in any form.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Tonks has the most fascinating hair, I would dearly like to pet her. Her wolf friend too, if he won't bite terribly hard.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
The Guillotine. I have many ideas for bar entertainment.
B. Gryffindor ā Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Whichever one of them doesn't plan to imprison Harry in the water vein
Of equal importance, whichever one bathes more than once a decade. And doesn't cackle in bed. Nnghh.
C. Ravenclaw ā You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though Iām constantly disposing of it.
If you stopped imprisoning your servants on a whim, they'd be more likely to help you.
D. Hufflepuff ā Prove you are not useless.
I wield five swords with my mind alone. (Obligatory "I can kill you with my brain" comment goes here.) I'm adept at my own unique form of magic, with and without the swords and psychic abilities.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I have all these nice crystals I could give, that may improve your health or stamina or grant you an interesting power, maybe protect you against certain ailments. I'm told with proper holes in them, they could double as "bowling balls."
Or you may peruse my treasured collection of heads (some little more than skulls now, alas) and choose a pretty one for yourself. I'm most happy to share. If you know how to listen carefully enough they'll even speak to you, but don't pay any mind to their filthy lies. They deserved it.
((ETA: When I signed in today and had 69 comments in my inbox, I snickered like a perverted brat. The Terry/Ryuuji screened convo wins for the leash idea alone. I hope they do give poor Alucard a leash for Joachim. XD))
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Date: 2006-03-29 10:25 am (UTC)I should have tied you to the bed. It's not safe for you to be wandering around alone.It would be nice to have (keep?) you in Hufflepuff with me, but you might fit in best with the Slytherins, given your personality, and I do mean that in a good way. Or the Ravenclaws, if they're truly drunk most of the time. Probably wise to avoid Gryffindor completely, I fear all the shiny spandex would cause you
even morebrain damage.Which do you prefer? There's also the four newer houses, but I don't recommend them. Unless you feel like being a house ghost, I guess.
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Date: 2006-03-29 10:40 am (UTC)Promises, promises. My, you're more forward than I remember, too.And why do you think I should be placed in the house of serpents, when you're not?
Explain this spandex to me. Is it a new weapon?
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Date: 2006-03-29 03:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-29 03:11 pm (UTC)Ravenclaw
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Date: 2006-03-29 04:48 pm (UTC)I don't know what kind of cheese you're thinking of, though. Brains are a lot squishier, especially when you step in them.
I'm leaning toward Bitchiwitch here.
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Date: 2006-03-30 03:50 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2006-03-29 05:56 pm (UTC)The Guillotine, you say? A collection of heads? Whose heads do you collect, sir?
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Date: 2006-03-30 03:53 am (UTC)((If you OOCly don't like the little mind-poke Joachim did to Stephen, we'll say it didn't happen. :) It's as harmless as reading someone's expression, as nothing beyond the surface is 'read'.))
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Date: 2006-03-29 07:15 pm (UTC)*looks over the convo with Alucard to see it provides anything helpful*
...
*refrains from commenting on human snack bit*
Ravenclaw.
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Date: 2006-03-29 09:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2006-03-29 09:20 pm (UTC)*rather huffily* I'm not a wolf. I'm a werewolf. There's a difference. I would be tempted to squib you, but thankfully you restrained yourself from calling me a "lycan," for which I am sincerely grateful.
You can bartend in the dark to your heart's content in Slytherin.
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Date: 2006-03-30 04:09 am (UTC)Oh, thank you.
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From:vote change: Bitchiwitch
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Date: 2006-03-29 09:26 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2006-03-29 09:27 pm (UTC)and any needs to rent you limb from limb in order to save the populusno subject
Date: 2006-03-29 09:38 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2006-03-29 09:42 pm (UTC)Uh, not Slytherin. Hufflepuff! Yeah.
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Date: 2006-03-30 04:36 am (UTC)Unicorn slayings?
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Date: 2006-03-29 11:17 pm (UTC)Re: vote: Hufflepuff
Date: 2006-03-30 04:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-30 01:00 am (UTC)And whaddaya know? Apparently he was right.
Hufflepuff, if you'll restrain yourself from beheading anyone. They'd kick your ass.
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Date: 2006-03-30 04:49 am (UTC)meatmeet this man.Are you really speaking of yourself?(no subject)
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Date: 2006-03-30 04:12 am (UTC)Re: Response to ETA.
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Date: 2006-03-30 06:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-30 01:01 pm (UTC)sewerwater vein of the castle. Mostly humans, yes, but some demons too. And other such creatures.Because I like their company. They're wonderful.
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Date: 2006-03-30 06:22 am (UTC)Slytherin.
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From:Vote: Hufflepuff
Date: 2006-04-02 07:34 pm (UTC)Hufflepuff. With
myyour?we have things to discussAlucard. Unless you harbour any great desire to be in Ravenclaw. "Interesting" people in either place if you plan to socialise, which I'm predicting you don't, and I can't blame you.Re: Vote: Hufflepuff
Date: 2006-04-04 03:37 am (UTC)Discuss what? Are we going to fight to the death afterward?no subject
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Date: 2006-04-04 04:00 am (UTC)Your bribe has been accepted.
Welcome to Hufflepuff!
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Date: 2006-04-04 05:22 am (UTC)