Joachim Armster, Castlevania fandom
Mar. 29th, 2006 12:21 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
joachim-armster.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
hh_mirror1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I can no longer eat cheese, I'm sure it would make me ill. What sort of discriminatory question is this?
From what I remember of cheese, which isn't much, the texture of stepped-in brains is similar to that of certain cheeses. I won't be putting either in my mouth any time soon, thank you.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
The human. I'd remove his sweet head for him, stroke his ginger hair, and tell him what a good boy he is. Oh, I'd like that, I'd like that very, very much.
3. What time is it where you are?
I've not seen the light nor felt the warmth of the sun for many long centuries. For me it will always be night...
Excuse me while I go pen a dreadful metrical composition and impale my wrists on something sharp. I've heard that's what juveniles do for fun these days whenever "darkness" is mentioned in any form.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Tonks has the most fascinating hair, I would dearly like to pet her. Her wolf friend too, if he won't bite terribly hard.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
The Guillotine. I have many ideas for bar entertainment.
B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Whichever one of them doesn't plan to imprison Harry in the water veinwhich is a fancy name for SEWER of their damned castle for all eternity.
Of equal importance, whichever one bathes more than once a decade. And doesn't cackle in bed. Nnghh.
C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
If you stopped imprisoning your servants on a whim, they'd be more likely to help you.
D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
I wield five swords with my mind alone. (Obligatory "I can kill you with my brain" comment goes here.) I'm adept at my own unique form of magic, with and without the swords and psychic abilities.And I never walk; I levitate, which is the best skill of all.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I have all these nice crystals I could give, that may improve your health or stamina or grant you an interesting power, maybe protect you against certain ailments. I'm told with proper holes in them, they could double as "bowling balls."
Or you may peruse my treasured collection of heads (some little more than skulls now, alas) and choose a pretty one for yourself. I'm most happy to share. If you know how to listen carefully enough they'll even speak to you, but don't pay any mind to their filthy lies. They deserved it.
((ETA: When I signed in today and had 69 comments in my inbox, I snickered like a perverted brat. The Terry/Ryuuji screened convo wins for the leash idea alone. I hope they do give poor Alucard a leash for Joachim. XD))
I can no longer eat cheese, I'm sure it would make me ill. What sort of discriminatory question is this?
From what I remember of cheese, which isn't much, the texture of stepped-in brains is similar to that of certain cheeses. I won't be putting either in my mouth any time soon, thank you.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
The human. I'd remove his sweet head for him, stroke his ginger hair, and tell him what a good boy he is. Oh, I'd like that, I'd like that very, very much.
3. What time is it where you are?
I've not seen the light nor felt the warmth of the sun for many long centuries. For me it will always be night...
Excuse me while I go pen a dreadful metrical composition and impale my wrists on something sharp. I've heard that's what juveniles do for fun these days whenever "darkness" is mentioned in any form.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Tonks has the most fascinating hair, I would dearly like to pet her. Her wolf friend too, if he won't bite terribly hard.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
The Guillotine. I have many ideas for bar entertainment.
B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Whichever one of them doesn't plan to imprison Harry in the water vein
Of equal importance, whichever one bathes more than once a decade. And doesn't cackle in bed. Nnghh.
C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
If you stopped imprisoning your servants on a whim, they'd be more likely to help you.
D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
I wield five swords with my mind alone. (Obligatory "I can kill you with my brain" comment goes here.) I'm adept at my own unique form of magic, with and without the swords and psychic abilities.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I have all these nice crystals I could give, that may improve your health or stamina or grant you an interesting power, maybe protect you against certain ailments. I'm told with proper holes in them, they could double as "bowling balls."
Or you may peruse my treasured collection of heads (some little more than skulls now, alas) and choose a pretty one for yourself. I'm most happy to share. If you know how to listen carefully enough they'll even speak to you, but don't pay any mind to their filthy lies. They deserved it.
((ETA: When I signed in today and had 69 comments in my inbox, I snickered like a perverted brat. The Terry/Ryuuji screened convo wins for the leash idea alone. I hope they do give poor Alucard a leash for Joachim. XD))
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::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-29 09:29 pm (UTC)Re: ::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-29 09:33 pm (UTC)So you admit you're a brat ?Off hours. Rest. Need it. Also, there could quite possibily be a gross smell thing from the heads.
And how is it that Alucard comes across debonair and soothing, in that way that's probably a peverse reflection of the fact I like to spend my free time in caves, but this guy is just...creepy.
Re: ::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-29 09:39 pm (UTC)I've never denied it; are you going to argue that you're not one? Besides, quite a few people call me that affectionately. The brat part, anyway.You still have a room of your own for resting though, don't you? And I say you should complain to your Prefects if it starts smelling. Sara's pretty cool, she'd handle it, I'm sure.
Unless she's been drinking in which case you're responsible for making sure nothing happens to her while she's unable to take care of herself.Alucard is extremely cool. And he doesn't talk about severed heads or human snacks.
Just about daddy issues and needing hugs in strikeouts.This guy is kinda freaky because of the brain-cheese comparison, head obsession, and the fact that skulls either speak to him or he's hallucinating that they do.Re: ::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-29 09:49 pm (UTC)No argument.Well there's the possibility that all the Gryffndor do-gooders will haunt his every step and I won't actually feel the need to keep an eye on him all the time and not sleep.
My Prefects a drunk ?! And you mean it's my job or every Ravenclaw's duty to make sure she doesn't break her neck ?He actually isn't wrong about brains and the cheese. Highschool science class, it teaches you things you do not want to know. The head obsession is... obsessions and self-absorption lead to psycho land, remember.
Re: ::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-29 09:54 pm (UTC)Tada. Mutual brattiness.That's true but again, this is Hogwarts. No-kill rule. So even if he decapitates someone, they'd survive it, most likely. I just don't think they'd be happy about it.
Both of them are, I already told you that. Though, Ford's a drunk, Sara's an alcoholic. She's the one who got the open bar in Ravenclaw installed. And well, technically, I'd say that it's anyone's duty to make sure she's okay, but considering what happened last time she got drunk in public, I'm kinda leaning towards only letting the people near her that don't take advantage of her being drunk to grope her and try to get her to leave with them.I remember. But we already have psychos here. Immortal ones. He's just another one to add to the list, I think. And maybe Alucard will keep a leash on him?
Literally?One can hope.Re: ::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-29 09:59 pm (UTC)Mutual brattiness means we keep each other in line ?You trust me NOT to grope her even though I'm a teenage boy, because of what I do ?Psychos...This place... And if someone loses their head, can it be put back on ? And can I buy Alucard a leash ? Maybe someplace in the village will do a custom job, it can go around the neck and wrap up the creep's hands too.
::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-29 10:03 pm (UTC)Or that we egg each other on. The school would probably appreciate us keeping each other in line more, though.
...No, because you told me that you've broken other people's hands for groping you, and I assumed that if you didn't like such behavior applied to you, you wouldn't do the same thing to someone else.
Would you?
If someone loses their head, I think it should be attachable again. I mean, if you can sew up slit throats and disembowelled people, as well as cure stab wounds to the heart, a head shouldn't be a problem.
...And Alucard might get the wrong idea if you buy him a leash. Just a thought.
::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-29 10:10 pm (UTC)The school would appreciate if we took turns spanking each other ? Weird schoolNo. You're right. I wouldn't. It didn't even occur to me to do that.So, poisoning, exsanguination, and gut wounds, all fixable in this place. Good to know. He's still a creep.
And I'd put a card on it! Make sure he knew what/whom it was for.
::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-29 10:17 pm (UTC)...I've never been spanked in my life. But I get the feeling that you could probably sell tickets for it.
See? So I was right to trust you.
Most things are fixable in this place. Hanging doesn't kill you either, but that wouldn't work on a vampire anyway.
And I'm not saying he's not a creep
and I swear that my opinion has nothing to do with the human snack remark, just that he doesn't seem especially dangerous so far.But would you let him know who it's from? Because I kinda don't want to see this vamp-dude come by to thank you for the lovely leash.
::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-29 10:24 pm (UTC)I'm not angry enough at you to do thatThe point of a card would be to let Alucard know it was for the protection of everyone at the school. And no, I really don't want Mr. Head Obsession passing by to pet my hair.
And now you've got me wondering if that's some sort of strange kinky proposition among vampires. You should ask Alucard, you actually know him, you could ask a question like that.
Also, I've had the part man, part bat, making screeching noises and craving blood experience. Don't want anything close to it to happen again.
Re: ::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-29 10:31 pm (UTC)...Thank you. I think.Or, you know, remove your head from your shoulders so that he can pet your hair whenever he wants to. That sounds like it would be bad.
...Hey. There's a major difference between knowing someone, being friends with them, and being able to ask them about the sexual habits of their species. And wouldn't it be werewolves that applied to, if we're being logical about this?
Really? It wasn't good for you?
::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-29 10:36 pm (UTC)Selling tickets implies a level of humiliationIt'd make it difficult to eat cookies.
I can't see werewolves walking each other. I can see vampires leading each other around on a leash.
Was that humor ?
Re: ::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-29 10:49 pm (UTC)But you'd actually spank me?I think you could still eat them, just not digest them. And you'd end up with a mess of chewed-up cookie around whatever your head is resting on.
...Gah. Um. I can see people doing that, without it necessarily being a vampire or werewolf thing.
I think you broke my brain.Sort of. I was joking, but I'm curious too, since from what I've
been toldheardseen, vampires seem to find drinking from a person intensely pleasurable, and it should feel good for the person being bled as well.::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-29 10:59 pm (UTC)If you did something that warranted it and it was what you thought would help, yeah.Half the fun of eating cookies is getting too full by them and missing out on dinner. Also, milk.
Vampires on leashes broke your brain ?And I wasn't a vampire. I was a Man-bat.(Well Man-vampirebat) Someone spliced my DNA in order to make me a nuisance and a menace.
You're Alucard's friend. When it happens you can tell me how it feels. Or you can just ask his victims
mealsRe: ::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-29 11:22 pm (UTC)...I don't think it would help. Really. Wrong context.I just like having them when the chips are still melted and gooey and all warm in your mouth. I don't like plain milk though, only chocolate milk.
Yeah. The good kind of breaking....Okay. That sounds bizarre. What was it like, and how'd you get fixed?
He hasn't fed from anyone in the school
yetthough I did suggest to him that he ask sorting applicants for blood to keep himself supplied. So far, he's taken pity on pretty much everyone and not demanded any; he's a good guy.Re: ::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-29 11:30 pm (UTC)Just because I own multiple batcuffs doesn't mean I know anything about thatPlain milk. Chocolate chip cookies. No potions.
Like the good kind of sore ?B. He's amazing. Prepared for just about any eventuality. And if not, he's usually at least got the prep or first step already done.
It was, chaotic. I was angry. And hungry. Not a good combination.
You saying he's a good guy probably means he's grey in a world of black and white.
Re: ::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-29 11:37 pm (UTC)Please don't mention batcuffs to me; Nightwing's tales about his sex life have left me deeply suspicious of batcuffs. And trapezes. And other stuff.Chocolate milk and chocolate chip cookies work for me; pretty much the only potions I normally take are healing ones and sleeping ones.
Or the good kind of ache....Wow. That's an impressive level of creative paranoia.
Did you retain your own mind?
Me saying he's a good guy means that he's never hurt anyone that I know of, that I feel sorry for him, that he's helped me, and that I like him but find him somewhat naive in a way that makes me protective of him.
::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-29 11:43 pm (UTC)At least he got a private lifeB is nothing if not scarily prepared.
No. I was losing it. The person who injected the serum into me was hoping I'd lose it a lot faster than I almost did. Why did you want to know ? Morbid fascination ?
Does it only matter if you don't know who he's hurt ?
::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-29 11:54 pm (UTC)He had a lot of girlfriend problems as well. Mostly for the same reasons you listed. Maybe it'll get better for you with time?Smart man. I could never manage that.
I suppose you could call it morbid fascination, but I was thinking more along the lines of you being my friend and I like knowing stuff about my friends. It just seems kinda weird to like a person without knowing anything about them, but we can quit this topic if you're not comfortable talking about it.
...I meant it as in I've never known him to hurt anyone, so I doubt that he would be doing that. Well, apart from his father. He apparently makes a habit out of killing his father, who is the original Dracula, so I kinda think that's understandable. Apart from that, he's very big on the not drinking from unwilling people, very kind and really not the type of person that I'd peg as going out to slaughter villages in his free time.
::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-30 12:08 am (UTC)I was always on call. People thought it abnormal that 'Bruce Wayne' would call me up at like seven at night, while I was on a date and I'd have to leave. Sometimes I think Dana thought the old man and I were somehow...being involved.No more vampire talk.
::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-30 12:19 am (UTC)That's just a tad disturbing since you said he was around eighty or so.
...But what about before you became Batman - didn't you have a normal life then?
Deal. Would you rather talk about the weather, then? I hear we're predicted to have great Rollerblading weather soon. I was thinking of seeing if I could round up people to play hockey.
::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-30 04:27 am (UTC)The way Gotham is in my time, it wouldn't be unthinkable. He used to be the most powerful man in the city and he's still one of the most influential. And my family wasn't hurting for flow the way some people might have expected. Not with my salary.
Some people might realize that Wayne/Powers is global, so of course I'm always at his beck and call. If they're smart, they might think the whole arrangement is because no one else would put up with him. A lot of people in Gotham aren't smart. I just kept hoping that underneath it all, Dana was.
I was a recovering discipline problem before I became Batman. I was just getting used to normal when my dad died.
You probably play hockey on the ground here, right ?
::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-30 04:31 am (UTC)I was thinking more along the lines of him being too old than it being an ethical impossibility. From what you've told me of Gotham, and what I've heard of it from Nightwing, they had to undergo the same assumptions so I wouldn't expect it to be any better in the future.
I'm sure she was; because you talk about her like you love her, and if you love her, then she has to be worthy of it.
What sort of discipline problem? And again, if you don't want to talk about any of this, you don't have to.
Well, yeah. Quidditch is played on brooms, if you want something in the air, but I kinda sorta suck at flying on brooms. Too flimsy.
::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-30 04:52 am (UTC)He plays the old man and the cane in public. But like I said, he took out a five man biker gang all on his own.
He'd probably have to stretch things out, because of his heart. But he's not really old, no matter his age.
I don't want to talk about it now.
You mentioned Quidditch before, you can explain it to me the next time I get a chocolate urge.
::screened for the Bat-Brat and Dragon-Brat only::
Date: 2006-03-30 05:00 am (UTC)That's true but don't you get stuck with impotence after a certain age?
...Why is it that I think I'm more weirded out by discussing his sex life than you seem to be?
Fair enough.
So what, we only talk about things over chocolate? *mock huff* I see how it is; you only want me for my chocolate!
*grins* But sure. I'll feed you to make sure you listen, then tell you about the stupidest game in the world.