Astral plane, activate! (HH anniversary plot, RP open to all)

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

The Sorting Hat had been dabbling in way too many fringe philosophies. (Neo-Rosicrucianism? Really, Sorting Hat?) It seemed that puppet!Ron Weasley's name for it, Sorting Hat the Wise, had gone to the Hat's lack-of-visible-head.

On the morning of Dec. 13 (or was it the 14th?) the Hat's esoteric interests affected the school for the second time.

The first instance had been more than a year past, when the Hat took a cue from Rev. Sun Myung Moon and united most of the Hogwarts students in mass marriages. That had been a lengthy and concerted effort by the Hat and its house-elf minions, opposed vigorously by the wicked (or noble??) Kojiro. Kojiro's kidnapping of the Hat's bride had been something of a turning point for the headstrong headgear.

This new instance ... even Kojiro might be powerless to counter. And the Hat's agency would be difficult, if not impossible, to discern.

In a mighty magical working, the Hat projected many of the students ... to the astral plane, in their astral forms.

Astral Hogwarts resembled the real material Hogwarts (well, the Sorting Hat's version of material Hogwarts) very closely indeed. There were some dissimilarities: did Hogwarts, on the material plane, really sparkle so much? Were there so many rainbows in the sky, without a hint of rain to prompt their presence? Were there really pastel-colored unicorns frolicking on the grounds? Unicorns with hair made of cotton candy?

Could the students fly without brooms in material Hogwarts?

Other than that, it would be instantly recognizable as Hogwarts. The astral students would find nothing jarringly unfamiliar, being astral themselves. No disorientation, as there had been with the mass weddings; only a pleasant surprise, if they did happen to remember the absence of pastel unicorns and self-propelled flight.

Finally the Hat would have achieved paradise! Too bad not all the students could be brought into this happy realm. The Hat hadn't quite figured out how to bring everyone en masse. But many of them could be.

Including Kojiro, perhaps ...


(( OOC note: People are welcome to RP astral shenanigans here, or to start their own new posts for interactions of a closed variety. Please, if you embark on NSFW action, make a new post so that it can be lj-cut with appropriate warnings. ))

Comments

[rosecasson.livejournal.com]

But Rose Casson cares not for unicorns and glitter. She is an artist. Her rooms in this Hogwarts are covered with disturbing yet brilliant murals in shades of red, grey and black. Sometimes there are skulls. Or guns. Sometimes she draws in eyeliner and then cries at the beauty of it all (and also because eyeliner wears down fast and she has to keep getting new pencils.)

So in a little Fall Out Boy hoodie, raccoon eyes and saggy jeans, Rose (with miraculously flattened hair, though she never seemed to care before), is busy glaring at the sun for being so bright when her PAIN needs to SHINE THROUGH her ART.

[bowchickamaou.livejournal.com]

Shibuya Yuuri is looking for his fiancé. He is deeply, deeply in love with his fiancé, in a way that involves lots of angsty denial and repressed lust.

He also wants them to have, like, at least five children together. They have one adopted daughter, Greta, already in Shin Makoku. But he wants many more. Only by having children can he and Wolfram forge a real family. (He wonders whether Wolfram will bake cookies and wear a frilly pink apron. He seems to have forgotten that Wolfram and kitchens do not go together.)

He spies a child -- one who even looks a little like Greta! -- and at once his extreme wish to (co-)parent all children springs into action.

"Hi there, little girl! Your hair is so flat! You know who can make hair really pretty? Daddy Wolfram! He has the prettiest hair of anyone," Yuuri enthuses at poor Rose.

[vislor-turlough.livejournal.com]

"Doctor!" Turlough pouted prettily as he peered out the door. This wasn't the TARDIS? And where was the Doctor? How are they supposed to be pretty together if they aren't together?

He's even in something showing off his legs, too!

[elegantsamurai.livejournal.com]

"What happened? Get lost on your way out of a brothel?" Yukimura asks, swinging around a bottle of cheap whiskey.

[methleigh.livejournal.com]

Severus waits and looks from his high window at the scene below, but in private his large dark eyes brim with tears of loneliness. It is so beautiful. If only he had someone to share it with. No one will ever understand him. But there is a part of him that knows they never will. They are unworthy of his fine emotions. In his mind's eye he is down in the garden with his own true love, petting the unicorn. "Oh may I help you to mount, my lady?" But it is all a dream. It will always be a dream - his own precious, secret dream. He puts on his dark clothes mourning the sorrow and pain that is his lot and descends to breakfast. The walls mock him, sparkling in their glints of joyful light.

[elegantsamurai.livejournal.com]

"You need a drink," Yukimura declared, leaning against a wall mostly because he really can't stand upright. He has a bottle of cheap strawberry wine in one hand and a bottle of mouth wash in the other. "What's your poison?" he asked, holding them both up.

[righteous-pen.livejournal.com]

The castle is sparkly today. Obviously this is in honour of Kami! and his magnificent radiance. ('Kira kira' means sparkle, it makes PERFECT SENSE.)

To celebrate, Mikami has donned a frilly pink apron over his work clothes, and is baking cookies.

[sir-knits-a-lot.livejournal.com]

An apron. He wondered if his Gunter would wear an apron for him. It would look so nice with his long flowing hair.

Ah, Gunter, where are you?

"Excuse me. Have you seen a man with long white hair around here? He'd be dressed in white too?"

[ringo-raver.livejournal.com]

Ryuk flitted around Mikami's head. He didn't think much beyond his next apple.

[noseymaddie.livejournal.com]

Maddie, for once, was feeling quite serious about being here at Hogwarts. Everything was as it should be; the rainbows, the unicorns. Everything exactly perfect. She sat in the Great Hall, sipping tea, a proper lady.

[blond-bondshell.livejournal.com]

"How do you like it?" Bond asked Maddie, possibly meaning the tea. "Strong and hot?"

[blond-bondshell.livejournal.com]

He liked his women like his martinis: strong, cold, and good at going down slowly.

He had a martini in one hand and a gun in the other. The women were sure to follow. The aloof and tuxedo-clad figure eyed the Astral Plane and glittery unicorns with cool a gaze that hinted and danger, adventure, and sex. And then more sex.

Who was this mystery man?

Bond. James Bond.

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Did someone say SEX?

Because Astral Plane Ho-Bag Laura is always up for sex. And danger, and adventure, sure. But mostly sex.

"Well, hello stranger," she purred, walking up to the mystery man. "What can I do for you today?"

[darkwithoutme.livejournal.com]

Of course the sparkly castle is honouring Kira, that is why on this special day that doesn't make any sense Kira has appeared! With his buttoned shirt open to show everyone the glory of his death note (let's just say it is Rem's or something), which is sticking out half-way from the front of his pants, Kira proudly strolls about the castle.

[righteous-pen.livejournal.com]

...until, that is, he's tackled by an enthusiastic man in a frilly apron.

"KAAAMIIII!!"

[maid-brienne.livejournal.com]

The sparkles and the glitter in the castle made Brienne feel like a woman. A beautiful, feminine woman full of so much love for the world that she could barely contain herself.

For some reason, astral Hogwarts had computers that worked, and lots of MP3's, and thus, after some time primping and styling her hair, picking out an outfit that flattered what curves she had, and preparing a mix CD for her one true love, Jaime Lannister, Brienne skipped out to face the morning.

The urge to sing was overwhelming, and so Brienne serenaded everyone around with a deeply meaningful song. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjWn-ueeeLw)

[blond-bondshell.livejournal.com]

"And quite a girl you are," Bond said, giving Brienne a once twice three times a lady once over that went up and down, around the block, then back again.

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

Kurama whimpered. All the brightness and pretty colors and everything... how dare anything in this world be happy? He sniffled and curled up in one of the more darker and morose corners of the hall, wishing he had a pair of scissors with which he could cut himself with. Because pain, alas, was the only way out of this desperate and terrible world. If anyone around him had ever seen Neon Genesis Evangelion, he is starting to bear a strange resemblance to Shinji Ikari.

[elegantsamurai.livejournal.com]

Yukimura more fell than sat beside the kid sulking in the corner. "You look like you could use a drink," he said, handing over a bottle of cheap vodka. After his prior encounter where he didn't get to play doctor, he was still damp from whiskey and looking rather disheveled.

[angelicbadboy.livejournal.com]

Brice was well aware that he was a sexy, sexy beast. Today he decided to go strut his stuff at Hogwarts, which deserved his sexiness as a special treat for being a fun place. He had conveniently forgotten about his living girlfriend and almost sort of fiancée and was mooching (sexily) through the hallways of this new and much improved Hogwarts. He'd watched the unicorns for all of two seconds before deciding that they were uninteresting. He wanted to find something fun to do. Someone to be evil to. Or sexy. One of the two. That was all he was about, really.

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Laura was interested in the unicorns. Their horns reminded her of something. She wished she could put her finger on it. Really, really wished that in fact.

"Hi there," she said as she brushed past Brice in the hallway.

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Roaming around Hogwarts on the Astral Plane felt different from the Black Lodge to Laura.

It felt...hot. It felt like she felt on cocaine, only better! No jitters, and no crashy aftereffects.

It made her feel like...getting into trouble. Preferably sexy trouble.

[lemondrop-party.livejournal.com]

Dumbledore bopped along, enjoying the astral vibes. It was a beautiful day at Hogwarts, as always!

"Pardon me, miss! May I borrow a cup of expired gorilla milk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B77MxjIWixk)?"

[daisy-inthesun.livejournal.com]

This whole glittery shining business really needed to stop. The glare alone was giving Daisy a headache to end all headaches and her drink- where was her drink? House Elfs must've gotten lazy. She sighs and snaps her fingers; in the same hand, a small glass of gin and tonic opens in her fist. With the other hand she snaps again, hoping for a servant this time, but instead receives a parasol floating on it's own, blocking only the brightness on her face- her chest was brightly exposed.

Well, okay, not her whole chest, but just enough skin to drag another millionaire her way. She was, after all, the queen of using people. And right now, anyone would do, just to serve her right now, and maybe even service her later, if you know what she means, of course.

"Honestly, now! Where on earth can I find someone to do these things for me?"

[wolfram-jyari.livejournal.com]

The boy weeping against the castle walls did not seem to be capable of doing anything other than lamenting his despair. Although he was rubbing his flaxen lockes against the cold stone, the motion only served to make his golden threads seem more stylish, as if the beautiful, ethereal wonder had recently been marvelously ravished.

He turned at the sound of another, revealing a pink, nearly translucent dressing gown... and a heavy belly. He waddled over to her and expressed, in a silky, honey-tongued voice, "i'm Prignunt! :("

[dungbombsrule.livejournal.com]

Ron had changed over... last night, basically. He had fallen asleep thinking about the absurdity of Snape the Headnurse, Snape and the crazy girlfriend, and he thought quite a bit of Hermione too. In his dreams, his feelings of bemusement and confusion turned into something much less ambiguous.

Astral Ron was not ambiguous. In fact, he was the mortal enemy of moral ambiguity. He would smash it with a hammer!

He did not question why he was suddenly wearing Gryffindor robes, a maroon sweater, and a mustache of evil. Nor did he questions why he suddenly had a strong urge to beat up anyone whose victimization might present them with some nice hurt/comfort action at the expense of Ron's characterization. A Slytherin felt about right. Or some bottom in a slash fic. Or a girl!

"Hullo!" Ron announced. "Can any bloke bloody find me a snake, a bird, or a pouf?"

[cosmicteddy.livejournal.com]

"You seem tense," said Michael, whose eyes looked a little... odd. He was smiling, in a slightly distant way, and was barely blinking, when he thrust a giant tray of assorted pastries towards Ron. "Would you like to TALK ABOUT IT? It feels better when you TALK ABOUT IT." And Michael was always ready whenever anyone needed to talk, ever! He was an archangel, and it was his job. (Except it wasn't.)

[cosmicteddy.livejournal.com]

There was PAIN in the world! Yes, Michael had been previously aware of this fact, of course, but now, here, it was even more obvious. And horrible. What could he do about all this pain? Surely there must be something. So what the archangel did was to take a very large tray, stack it with various types of pastries, and walk around the corridors of Hogwarts. Because pastries always made everything MUCH BETTER.

At the moment he was hanging out with a unicorn, and he kept stroking its cotton candy mane with tears in his eyes. Oh, this brave creature had gone through so much pain and suffering! This time of year it was all raindeers, and no one cared about the noble unicorn that did so much for children and adults alike. Why could not unicorns draw Santa's sleigh? This poor individual had suffered so, too! It had been orphaned at an early age when its parents had become glue, and alone and unloved it had walked the world, looking int through the windows of happy families and crying silent tears of despair, hoping for a friend. It deserved many chocolate éclairs!

Michael became aware of steps behind him, and he whirled around suddenly, holding up the tray to the new arrival.

"Pastry?" he offered eagerly. "Have SEVERAL! AND tell me your PROBLEMS, please! I can honestly, truly, really HELP!"

[wolfram-jyari.livejournal.com]

The distressed damsel waddled over to Michael, crystalline tears rolling down his cheeks to shatter on the floor. Global markets have risen and fallen to the tune of Wolfram's mood.

"Im Pragnoont! -_-" He surmised.

[fields-4ever.livejournal.com]

The name's Berry, bitch, and don't you forget it.

With a submachine gun in her arms, this was one babe out on a mission. A mission of revenge. Strawberry Fields was going to do it her way, dammit, and God help anyone who stopped her. Just to show how bad-ass she was, she shot a unicorn.

It went up in a spray of glittery sparkles.

Satisfied, she hoisted the gun to her shoulder. "I guess all good things do come to an end," she said.

Screw the unicorns. It was environmentalist season.

[bowchickamaou.livejournal.com]

"Hey, what did that unicorn ever do to you?!" demanded the outraged astral Maou.

[racer-tenoh.livejournal.com]

It was a bright, sunny, sparkly day. Emphasis on the sparkly. Just the sort of thing Usagi and the girls would like.

Thinking of Usagi, Haruka felt in the mood for a blonde today. A nice blonde who could help her get over her the terrible treatment she'd received from her family when she'd come out as a lesbian, either through giddy cuteness or just through gentle understanding. And lots of sex. It's a pity Michiru wasn't around, because her One True Love always made her feel better, but since Michiru wasn't there and Haruka had been celibate for a year now, any agreeable girl would do.

[bowchickamaou.livejournal.com]

Yuuri stopped dead in his tracks.

This blond guy -- or girl? -- looked a lot like Wolfram. Pretty blond androgyny was Yuuri's taste.

He wolf-whistled at the blond.

[totallyluminous.livejournal.com]

What is this feeling, so sudden and new? She's a little bit flustered--her clothes are too tight and making her feel very warm, and thus have had to be unbuttoned a bit. The flapping of fabric caught on a random tree branch and now it's ripped and basically held together by three brave straining buttons. As for her skirt, well...it shrunk in the wash. Going through the astral plane can apparently do that sometimes.

Mel collapses onto a little bench, knees pressed together and ankles wide apart. She stares brainlessly and with shock at the wall.

[ra-tilt-chimera.livejournal.com]

Zel grinned, somehow managing to do this and still look dark, mysterious, and broody. "Hello, Mel~"

[ra-tilt-chimera.livejournal.com]

A dark, mysterious figure leaned against the wall, with a dark, mysterious expression on his dark, mysterious face.

How his face managed to be dark and mysterious when Zel had neither his hood up nor a mask on is one of the most mysterious things - as is how he himself managed to be dark when he dressed all in white.

His dark, mysterious gaze swept the hall, not giving any hint that his dark, mysterious demeanor was liable to collapse at the approach of a cute girl - or Gourry or Xellos, but mostly a cute girl. Or Xellos.

[rebelvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

Silmeria quirked an eyebrow at the mysterious figure in white. What was he so dark for? Didn't he know today was supposed to be for feeling awesome?

"Hey, like, what is your deal?" she asked, tossing back her long blonde hair.

[rebelvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

Hogwarts was certainly bright today! Which was fine with Silmeria, because the colorful, cheery, and rainbow-filled atmosphere matched her mood perfectly.

The sunny valkyrie skipped through the sparkling fields, smiling broadly to herself, until she spotted a baby unicorn sleeping peacefully at the base of a tree. Unable to contain herself, Silmeria squee-ed.

"That is sooooo cute!!"

She ran over to the little guy and petted it gently. The unicorn was startled, but responded favorably to the motion buy whinnying adorably.

"Awwwww! You are, like, the best thing ever!"

lol

Silmeria resolved to collect any and all unicorn-themed merchandise. Fortunately for the baby unicorn, it was too big to carry around under her arm like a fashion accessory. Besides, it didn't quite match her awesome purple/gold color scheme.