totally and completely anonymous compy post

[arrogantmage.livejournal.com]

(To ensure complete and uncompromised anonymity, Lezard actually went to the trouble of typing this while disembodied. How could he type without fingers? The same way a ghost could move objects, perhaps. Ask the videogame programmers. Alternatively, ask Homsar or the Sorting Hat.)


Who is the gayest man in this school? I have some questions for him.

Comments

[needsanewliver.livejournal.com]

((Also approved by Skwis-mun. No need for anyone else to intervene—though they're free to react to it! :D))

What the fuck?

Nathan immediately sat up and glanced around for whoever had posted that shit. He didn't even see Pickles or Ofdensen in the room, and Skwisgaar didn't duck in time to avoid being noticed. In a move very reminiscent of his football days, Nathan was out of his chair and leaping over the row of desks—heedless of the computers, one or two of which he probably took out—and headed straight for the Swede with a growl.

[best-guitarist.livejournal.com]

((Although it would be quite funny if Toki saw and went rabid on Nathan. XD))

Skwisgaar luckily saw Nathan coming in time to avoid being tackled, and took off for the door, laughing like a lunatic the entire time. He wasn't in any particular shape, but he did have pretty good endurance and wasn't packing any extra weight, so catching him wasn't going to be easy for the rather more out of shape singer.

"Yous so sensitives abouts your gay clowns love!" he called back as he ran.

[needsanewliver.livejournal.com]

((I fully endorse that, if Toki-mun wants to! Want me to ask? But I expect Nathan'll be stumbling along out of breath by the time they reach Skwis and Toki's room. XD))

Nathan was a hell of a lot quicker than one would expect someone of his hulking build to be, but Skwisgaar did have a noticeable advantage over him in the speed department. In all honesty he probably wouldn't beat on his lead guitarist even if he did catch him; it was enough that Skwisgaar obviously took the threat seriously enough to haul ass out of there.

Nathan wasn't about to let him off so easily, however. He was right on the Swede's heels as they left the compy lab and tore out into the hallways. So much of Skwisgaar's height was in his legs, and his greater stride length (combined with Nathan admittedly not being in peak condition) would unfortunately guarantee Nathan couldn't catch him. Stupid freakishly tall Swedes.

"Fuck you!" he growled, reaching out to try and swipe at Skwisgaar. "You... fucking... uh, snow eater!"

[best-guitarist.livejournal.com]

((*dying at Nathan's lame insult*))

"With hows yous acting, it must bes true!" Skwisgaar said, laughing even harder.

But he wasn't about to slow down, either. Nathan managed to just brush the back of his shirt with his fingers without gaining a solid hold, which only encouraged him to jerk forward and sprint faster. Without even being aware of it he was headed for Hufflepuff -- it was the most familiar path through the castle he knew, and he was trying his damnedest to avoid any dead ends. He had no way of knowing Nathan wouldn't really beat the shit out of him if the singer caught him. Despite his ego -- which was largely a front for his insecurities -- he pretty much figured his bandmates and manager hated him enough to kill him most the time, anyway.

He simply focused on running for a time, then eventually called back, "Tokis wills be happy Rockzo's finally founds love! Clown lover!" He narrowly avoided tripping over the last few stairs (http://www.hp-lexicon.org/hogwarts/houses/hufflepuff.html) with how fast he was taking them. By that point the Norwegian in question would be able to hear them shouting at each other.

[needsanewliver.livejournal.com]

((XD))

Nathan was not built for this marathon shit, which became painfully clear by the time they reached the area leading to Hufflepuff's food library and common room. He was panting heavily and having to really concentrate on his steps so he wouldn't stumble.

"FUCK YOU!" he bellowed despite being out of breath. "I'm not in love with that fucking clown!" And Skwisgaar, damn him to hell, barely even seemed winded. Nathan was definitely slowing down when they reached the dorm area, and looked a bit green. "Jesus... hold... up," he ground out between panted breaths, slowing nearly to a walk and reaching out to steady himself against the wall. "I think I'm gonna puke. You could at least come back here and let me hit you first."

Sadly, by then even if he did catch Skwisgaar, he'd be more likely to collapse on the Swede than actually punch him.

[isnotabumblebee.livejournal.com]

Toki was in the hallway, having summoned up the courage to leave the room he was sharing with Skwisgaar, since the big lizard-thing was nowhere in sight. It was a seriously metal lizard-thing, but, he was still nervous about it. He was tired of babysitting the Shoggies, who wouldn't let him do anything in peace until he stuffed them into their drawers, which worked surprisingly well, and he'd snuck out before one of them could decide to come out (none of them had yet, incidentally). But, before he could go find somewhere to get nicely drunk, he heard Nathan and Skwisgaar hollering.

He saw them shortly after hearing them, and watched confusedly as Skwisgaar came running down the hallway with Nathan apparently trying to chase him down, and threatening to hit him. His first impulse was to start shouting at Nathan, which he did. "Leaves him alone, Nathan! He almost died!" His next impulse, which was to keep Nathan from chasing Skwisgaar by charging Nathan and stopping him however he had to, was derailed. Toki didn't think Nathan seemed to be doing a very good job of running after Skwisgaar, and he could probably wait for him to get there to start psychotically defending Skwisgaar if he had to.

But he wasn't sure what they were yelling about, and Skwisgaar was laughing- something about clown-love? Which was pretty damn funny, especially since Nathan now looked like he was going to be sick, and was the one being accused of clown-love. So he rushed up to Skwisgaar, and yelled at Nathan, "Yous the clown-lover, Nathan? That's so great! Because clowns needs love too and stuffs. . ." and started laughing his ass off.

[best-guitarist.livejournal.com]

Skwisgaar was definitely a bit winded, just not to the point where he sounded and looked like he might die, as Nathan did -- and mainly because he'd been laughing so hard while running. He slowed as Nathan did, grateful he finally seemed to be giving up the chase, since they'd be hitting a dead end soon. He eventually stopped altogether when Toki came up to him, and bent with his hands on his knees as he struggled to catch his breath, still laughing as he was.

"Nat'an's reallies mad about beings in loves with your pal Rockzo," he gleefully informed Toki, clutching his side as he felt a stitch starting. Running like that hadn't felt too great with his torso still being so bruised up, but it had been worth it. "You should haves seen him jumps overs de desks! He knocks over all de computers, he was so mads about his gay clowny love beings discovereds. Dey's goings to double teams France on deir honeymoon and everythings."

Despite Nathan looking like he really was going to hurl at any moment, Skwisgaar didn't trust him not to punch him if he got too close, so wisely stayed where he was, with Toki standing between them. It really would be great to see Toki and Nathan duke it out, if it came down to it.

[needsanewliver.livejournal.com]

Nathan was surprised to see Toki there, and startled by his yelling—in defense of Skwisgaar? What, he was going to continue being Skwisgaar's attack dog just because he'd almost killed the Swede himself?

"Skwisgaar started it," he growled, leaning against the wall as he tried and failed to catch his breath. He certainly wasn't much of a threat to Skwisgaar at the moment. "And fuck you too! You're the one in love with that creepy clown asshole, if anyone is. Always fucking inviting him into Mordhaus and letting him feel us up in our sleep... God, I hate that guy."

He flagged down a house-elf and growled at it to get him some beer. "I don't even know who that France jackoff is, but he better stay the hell away from me," he said huffily. He definitely didn't want to catch any gay cooties. Bad enough the entire school was probably infested. His attraction to Ofdensen totally didn't count as gay, and had happened long before coming to Hogwarts, anyway. He warily eyed his bandmates as he moved to sit on the ground, muttering to himself, "I have really let myself go..." And when had Skwisgaar become a fucking track star? Maybe it was the snow diet as a kid.

[isnotabumblebee.livejournal.com]

Toki hadn't been around for the beginning of the incident, but even he wasn't quite clueless enough to miss that however it began, Nathan was was pretty riled up by it, and Skwisgaar obviously found it funny as hell. This meant an excellent opportunity for making fun of Nathan, and he wasn't going to stop just yet. He just laughed all the harder at Nathan accusing him of clown-love- his reaction to the goading was just too hilarious. "Don't lie, Nathan, you loves him, and yous gonna have such a good times on your honeymoon in France! I'm so happies for Dr. Rockso!" He hadn't figured out anything about the whole countries-as-people thing yet, and so entirely misunderstood the bit about France. "You don't have to be embarrassed about your gay clown-loves, it's ok!" Considering how hard he was laughing, his words weren't meant to be reassuring in the least.

Even though it looked like Nathan wasn't going to be attacking Skwisgaar anytime soon, he stayed close to him, laughing until he was nearly in tears. He didn't believe any of Skwisgaar's accusations were true, but Nathan's reaction to them was hilarious enough that he wasn't going to let him forget.