[identity profile] arrogantmage.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] hh_mirror
(To ensure complete and uncompromised anonymity, Lezard actually went to the trouble of typing this while disembodied. How could he type without fingers? The same way a ghost could move objects, perhaps. Ask the videogame programmers. Alternatively, ask Homsar or the Sorting Hat.)


Who is the gayest man in this school? I have some questions for him.

BEOWULF

Date: 2009-09-09 06:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iam-beowulf.livejournal.com
I KNOW THAT NAME. IT IS ANOTHER NAME FOR SACK JOE.

WHO DID HE KISS??!?!?!

appleoverlord

Date: 2009-09-09 06:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ringo-raver.livejournal.com
I dunno. His face was obscured so I couldn't see his name.

BEOWULF

Date: 2009-09-09 06:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iam-beowulf.livejournal.com
YOU ARE CONCEALING THEIR LAWLESS LOVE! I NEED NOT BE TOLD. I ALREADY KNOW IN MY HEART.

IT IS PYARAY! I HAVE WONDERED WHO COULD WIN THE AFFECTIONS OF PYARAY. NOW EVERYTHING BECOMES CLEAR TO ME.

appleoverlord

Date: 2009-09-09 06:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ringo-raver.livejournal.com
Hehehe, you're being silly.

BEOWULF

Date: 2009-09-09 01:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iam-beowulf.livejournal.com
HE DWELLS IN THE LAKE. SOME CALL HIM THE GIANT SQUID. HIS AFFECTIONS ARE MYSTERIOUS AND SILENT.

Anonymous

Date: 2009-09-09 07:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] righteous-pen.livejournal.com
(after several minutes staring at the screen)

I do not wish to know how you know that. But I doubt that's who appleoverlord is referring to.

BEOWULF

Date: 2009-09-11 09:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iam-beowulf.livejournal.com
THEN WHO DID YOU KISS, SACK JOE? HOW MANY OF THE MEN OF HOGWARTS HAVE YOU GRACED WITH YOUR LIPS?!

Anonymous

Date: 2009-09-11 10:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] righteous-pen.livejournal.com
I haven't given my name, what makes you think I'm this - Joe person?

BEOWULF

Date: 2009-09-11 10:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iam-beowulf.livejournal.com
HOW ELSE WOULD YOU KNOW WHAT IS BEING TALKED ABOUT? YOU ARE SACK JOE AND YOU ARE MAKING YOUR CONQUESTS KNOWN! OR YOU ARE THE SEXY MONSTER KIRA! OR YOU ARE PYARAY HIMSELF! OR YOU ARE THAT MAN WHO KNOWS THE SECRETS OF PYARAY (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1798111.html)!

THERE IS A MONSTER CONSPIRACY AT THIS SCHOOL! I AND MY DEPUTY PREFECT WILL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS!

benefit_world

Date: 2009-09-11 10:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] righteous-pen.livejournal.com
All right, it's me. I'm going to make this very clear. I am not a monster, I'm not part of any 'monster conspiracy', I am not romantically involved with the giant squid or with anything that could be described as a monster, and for the last time, 'Sack Joe' is not my name.

And Kira has been popcorn for months.

BEOWULF

Date: 2009-09-11 10:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iam-beowulf.livejournal.com
FEAR NOT, SACK JOE. I KNOW THE MONSTERS ARE MAKING YOU WRITE THESE THINGS. WE WILL RESCUE YOU.

benefit_world

Date: 2009-09-11 10:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] righteous-pen.livejournal.com
Nobody's making me write anything!

BEOWULF

Date: 2009-09-11 10:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iam-beowulf.livejournal.com
WE WILL BRING A FOOD CALLED GRANOLA FOR QUICK ENERGY.

Date: 2009-09-11 10:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] righteous-pen.livejournal.com
(Mikami gave up on the conversation at this point. Anything he said would only cause it to descend further into madness.

It was only later that he realised he should have thought to ask who the deputy prefect was, in order to avoid them...)

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