Staff Meeting

[kahnooloo.livejournal.com]

Cheese and crackers, pumpkin pasties, cauldron cakes, and pies and tarts of at least a dozen varieties were laid out by house-elves along the sides of the Staff Room. And when all the staff had assembled in the chairs provided (a short chair was even provided for the Easter Bunny), Kahnooloo leapt up onto a desk at the front of the classroom and began to speak.

"Hey, kah ay-ay u-nye! Kah mee-mee noo-loo wah!" [Hey, I see you! I'm very happy!] Kahnooloo wanted to give everyone a warm welcome! "Kah a-tay!" [I'm hungry!] And that was pretty much all she cared about, so she leapt off the desk and, after stopping in front of Dumbledore and staring for a moment (apparently, that was his cue to speak), she trotted off to the back of the room in search of some biscuits.

Dressed in his snazziest purple robes and hat for the occasion, Albus rose and bowed to the assembled faculty and staff.

"Greetings. Some of you may know me; most will not, unless you are partial to chocolate frogs. I am Albus Dumbledore, once a professor at Hogwarts and then its headmaster, now a professor emeritus.

"You may all have seen a curious green symbol floating above the castle some time ago. I expect most of you will have taken it for a sadly unimpressive fireworks display. In fact, it was the sign of a dark wizard who briefly surfaced among us before popcornhood reclaimed him. His kernel is indistinguishable from the others, and indestructible as they are. Therefore, it is incumbent upon us to prepare our students in the event they must defend themselves.

"Many of our students have not so much as attended a single class -- have not so much as bought a wand, the sine qua non of magical study at Hogwarts. I encourage you all to hold classes when you can. I also understand that certain staff practices have been known to unduly alarm our students. Let me reiterate, on behalf of the Board of Governors, with whom I do still have some nodding acquaintance, that corporal punishment is not a Hogwarts policy and will not be permitted." A significant look in the direction of the caretaker.

"As for equipment, I have arranged what some might call a little 'field trip': on Friday the 8th of June, the merchants of Diagon Alley will be expecting the Hogwarts population to descend upon their shops, for the purchase of wands, textbooks, and uniforms, this to be funded by a certain account the Sorting Hat has been stashing away.

"The travel will be done by Portkey. While the students are at Diagon Alley, however, we will need staff chaperones. I am placing a sign-up sheet on this podium, and I strongly encourage you to consider chaperoning. If nothing else, it will be a pleasant outing at the school's expense.

"That is all I have to say! If the Headmistress agrees, let the snacking commence!"

And from the back of the room, Kahnooloo gave an agreeable squawk. "Noh-lah! Dah doo-ay wah!" [It's party time! Big fun!]

((It's a free-for-all, so knock yourselves out! Also, if profs see fit to invite their TAs, the TAs are welcome too.))

Comments

Ddore's signup sheet

[lemondrop-party.livejournal.com]

A piece of parchment lay on the podium, a Dictaquill beside it, as well as a normal quill and inkpot. It was headed: Sign-Up Sheet for Diagon Alley Trip Chaperones.

(( Comment to this thread if you want to serve as a chaperone! ))

Re: Ddore's signup sheet

[richardthegreek.livejournal.com]

I found myself signing in, although I understood little yet of portkeys. I'd learn, though.

Re: Ddore's signup sheet

[fullofjelly.livejournal.com]

Heh. Chaperone. In other words, a chance to terrorize little brats and leer at hot schoolgirls. It was like a Christmas present for the big guy.

With a flourish, he signed his name. Let the world tremble.

Re: Ddore's signup sheet

[daxtastic.livejournal.com]

Feeling that she owed the students of Hogwarts for whatever nonsense Michael was sure to inflict, Dax sighed and signed her name.

Re: Ddore's signup sheet

[tartan-pussy.livejournal.com]

Minerva had planned on chaperoning this trip ever since Dumbledore had told her about it, so she signed the sheet.

Re: Ddore's signup sheet

[homsarhomsar.livejournal.com]

Re: Ddore's signup sheet

[forcedexile.livejournal.com]

The Exile added her mark to the list.

Re: Ddore's signup sheet

[researcher42.livejournal.com]

Ford felt a bit bad about not holding many classes. And about constantly arriving places late. Not bad enough to actually attempt to fix either of those problems, but maybe if he served as a chaperone it would make up for things. Besides, the trip sounded interesting, possibly chaotic, and not in the least bit dangerous. All in all his kind of excursion.

He added his name to the list.

[richardthegreek.livejournal.com]

I walked into the room, and sat down at the table. There was quite a collection of persons there, and I knew very few, as yet. I decided it was best to listen, and go along as a good faculty member should.

"I need a wand, too," I added. "I only have school-issue, and I am told that personally crafted and selected wands are much more effective."

[lemondrop-party.livejournal.com]

"You are correctly informed, then," Dumbledore answered as he helped himself to a cauldron cake. "I do not believe we have met."

[nannynutter.livejournal.com]

Agnes breifly wondered exactly why Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry had employed an over-sized rat as it's headmistress, and beyond that, one that couldn't speak English, but she banished such musings from her head, along with going through the mental catalogue various rat-traps she knew of, and listened to professor Dumbledore. She looked about at the other staff members around her, and sat in her chair, wondering what people were thinking.

[homsarhomsar.livejournal.com]

If Agnes was concerned about Kahnooloo, she'd have a field day with Homsar. Which, of course, Homsar had no idea about. He just saw Conrad, from his Sorting (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/495271.html?thread=24269479#t24269479). She had been such a lovely board game piece, and he thought he'd have a chat with her to see if her yesterday was indeed bright, as he had wished it.

He blibbled over to her and announced, "DaaaAAAAaaaAAAAaaaAAAA! Hi, Conrad! And now it's time for a breakdown! Kashoooooooo!"

[waste-lock.livejournal.com]

The headmistress gave Nny the creeps.

The serious creeps.


Still, he hadn't had a 'real' job before, and he took it seriously. Staff meetings were a job thing, weren't they?

[lemondrop-party.livejournal.com]

Staff meetings were indeed a job thing, and Albus was gratified by the turnout, if secretly a bit surprised given the laxity of the staff where the holding of classes was concerned. If anything, the caretaker was a bit too zealous at his job, from what Albus had heard; no need for reproaches on the work-ethic front here. Still carrying a half-eaten cauldron cake, he came over to introduce himself.

"I suppose you remember the old me," he said without preamble. "The shadow-self. I am not that man. Not all of us are what we're thought to be. I think you may be one who understands that well."

[tourettesbunny.livejournal.com]

Having quickly assumed that the short chair was indeed for him (unless there were any midgets around, that is), that Easter Bunny had arrived on time and had spent a few minutes eyeing up the Headmistress. He'd thought Furbies had gone out of fashion. Did kids even know what they were anymore?

Reclining back on the chair, the Easter Bunny promptly helped himself to the food that was nearest to him. It was probably rude to climb all over the table to reach the further plates. He wasn't entirely sure if he actually needed a wand, but it might be a good idea, anyway.

[fullofjelly.livejournal.com]

Plopping down in the chair next to the rabbit, Santa reached over the Easter Bunny to snatch up a plate of assorted pastries. "What'd I miss?" he mumbled around a mouthful of cookie. "Fucking old man blathered on, I stopped listening halfway through."

As a TA, he figured he had every right to be at the staff meeting. Plus, professor chicks were hot.

[lilypotter60.livejournal.com]

Lily had come straight to the meeting from a shift at the Wing, barely pausing to make sure she didn't have some unidentifiable goop on her robe and her hair was in some semblance of order. Listening to Dumbledore, she felt her face go pale and her heart skip several beats at his mention of the Dark Mark. But she managed to keep her gaze steady on the former Headmaster and once the meeting was concluded, she rose and made her way over to the food table.

She still slightly felt like a kid playing dress up - she wasn't qualified to be a professor, really, and she realized with a start that she only knew a handful of the staff, now - but Lily figured that if she was there, she might as well enjoy the food. With a glass of pumpkin juice in hand, she perused the choices and quietly observed her fellow professors and staff.

[doctordweeb.livejournal.com]

Daniel hadn't seen Lily in a while, but he'd heard about her promotion to professor.

"Hey," he said, coming up beside her. "Late congratulations. How's it feel so far?" He'd been terrified to hold his first class, but it had actually gone pretty well. Apparently he hadn't lost the ability to lecture after all, though it hadn't hurt that he'd had everyone working in pairs and different stations.

[daxtastic.livejournal.com]

Dax had one goal, and one goal only for this meeting: avoid telling her colleagues that she had inadvertently hired Michael Scott (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1297987.html) as a TA. She had also hired the Doctor (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1298567.html?thread=66239367#t66239367), in a rather desperate attempt to counterbalance her error. The problem (one of many, to be sure) was that there was no conceivable way the two men would get along.

Dax had told neither TA about the meeting. It seemed like the thing to do. She walked into the hall, smiled, and took a seat. Near the door.

[pufnstuf.livejournal.com]

Puf had shiny boots and he was happy about it. He looked at them admiringly, then looked around at his fellow professors. Nobody seemed to have boots as shiny as his, if they even had boots at all, which some of them didn't. Galvanized, Puf leapt to his tiny booted feet, waving his little arms in consternation. This must be remedied! Charms professor to the rescue! And what could be more charming than white patent leather cowboy boots?

Immediately he began to remove his boots, a fresh pair appearing on his feet as fast as he could take them off. Boots for everyone!

When he had several dozen pairs lined up in a neat row, he gazed around affectionately at the assembly. They all looked like Jimmy, even the ones that didn't, and that was good enough for Puf. His pupils spun happily in opposing directions as he began to dance, waving his ponderous tail in time to music that only he could hear (if that). "Hi!" he hollered excitedly.

[office-michael.livejournal.com]

Michael had no idea about the staff meeting, as Dax hadn't said a word to him (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1315695.html?thread=66887791#t66887791). Smart woman. Unfortunately for her, he had walked by the room and seen the people milling around and the food and Puf's dancing and assumed there was a party going on. And if there was a party, he was going to crash join.

"All riiight!" he shouted, clapping his hands and shimmying his hips as he worked his way into the room and over to Puf. "Looks like we've got a par-taaaaay going on here!" As he was dancing like a moron, he noticed the lineup of boots. "Is thiiii~iiiiis some kind of ethnic celebration?" Michael had celebrated Diwali (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diwali_%28The_Office_episode%29), and everyone had taken off their shoes there.

[estebanmd.livejournal.com]

Punctuality had never been one of Stephen Maturin's strong suits. He managed to arrive just as the Furby addressed her opening remarks, which meant he did catch Dumbledore's speech. There were few people at Hogwarts who remembered Dumbledore's prepopcorning incarnation, but Stephen was among them, and he found this new Albus Dumbledore quite different from the first. Deep in speculation upon the possible implications, he quite forgot he really should be talking to his colleagues.

[dinosaurman.livejournal.com]

Grant noticed Dr. Maturin lost in thought, and having been around for the first episode of Dumbledore Does Hogwarts himself, had an idea of what was troubling the Potions Master.

"So what do you think," he said in a low voice, so that only Stephen could hear him. "Did Voldemort leave him for a fluffier popcorn kernel?"

[wayward-son124.livejournal.com]

Dean still couldn't believe that the headmaster of this school was... God, what the fuck even was that thing? It didn't speak English. And it kind of looked like a really fat owl and a possum had drank a little too much vodka one night and forgotten the condoms.

Fucking hell, he didn't even know why he'd come to this thing. So not his place. He should've stayed in his over-sized hut in the woods and gotten cozy with a bottle of Jack or something. Teachers? They were all... smart and shit. Or, you know, Homsar. He didn't even know what to say. They probably went to freaking college and crap. He got the job because he could stick an unholy amount of marshmallows in his mouth.

Totally didn't fit in here.

[fullofjelly.livejournal.com]

"Dean Winchester," Santa boomed as he trotted over. "You're the new keeper of the grounds, right?" His jolly face beamed down at Dean, that fabled twinkle in his eyes and a touch of a rose-colored hue about his cheeks.

"Look, slacker, if you don't start cleaning up the shit in the yard so I can lay out and do my nude sunbathing in peace, I'm going to kick your ass so hard you'll have to call me daddy. Got it?"

[forcedexile.livejournal.com]

The Exile slipped in just in time to hear the headmistress's and Dumbledore's announcements. As the teachers started to mingle, she took a little snack and stood in the corner, observing everyone.