Application for Zack Fair (Final Fantasy VII Compilation)

[soldierfair.livejournal.com]

The saying usually goes, "Life's a bitch, and then you die."

Upon reflection, even counting the really good parts (Aerith, Cloud, even Sephiroth and Angeal before the former went crazy and the latter turned into a... better not to think about that) I've gotta agree. Life really is one hell of a bitch.

I think I did good, though. There were a lot of bad things, a few great things, but all in all, I can die knowing I finished with a job well done. So now it's time to lay back, relax, and return to the lifestream.

Funny how the lifestream feels a lot like a cold stone floor.

...Okay, I'm not imagining it. Something isn't right. I'm pretty sure the lifestream does not equal lying supine on cobbles.

And that I shouldn't be able to just open my eyes like I've done every day, but I am and it's weird and something just is not right.

I sit up. Like, normal sitting up. This can't seriously be the afterlife. Nothing I've ever read or heard said anything about the lifestream being a room in what looked like a really old part of Nibelheim.

Looking around, I can't find anything familiar, and the only thing worth notice is the little table with the paper, and a fancy pen that someone must've cast Float on.




State your full name.
I reach for the pen, but it floats out of my range. Well, I guess answering out loud is just as good... "Um, Zack Fair."

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I shrug. "Anything that doesn't come from the Shinra trooper cafeteria. That's the best part about SOLDIER, we don't have to eat that nasty processed Chocobo Bill's Chococheese."

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Eeeh..." I scratch my head a little. I know I look embarrassed, but it's kind of hard not to, in this case. "I don't like to kill unnecessarily. If it's up to me, they both live, as long as they don't force my hand."

3. What time is it where you are?
"I dunno, does the lifestream measure time?"

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Wow, these questions just get progressively weirder. "I... uh, I'm not really qualified to answer that... _{I wouldn't harrass anyone, but I'm not gonna pass up looking at a pretty girl...}"

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Sounds like the guy from the Sector Five slums, who was building the bar. I like the name I thought up for him last time, so, "Seventh heaven! A little piece of heaven in... wherever this is." I'm starting to not be so sure that this is the lifestream at all.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Oh man, marriage. I've never had a chance to think of that before (not really, being in SOLDIER pretty much guarantees a short lifespan, and in my situation... well.) "Hey, whoever Harry loves, that's who he should be with. Spending your life with someone you love shouldn't be sneezed at, you know?"

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
I laugh. Thankfully, SOLDIER never has to do paperwork. Unless you're an overachiever like Sephiroth, but I'm not about to say that to his face. "Outsource it to the Turks, that's what we do."

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
This time, I know I'm grinning. "I'm a SOLDIER first class, which is pretty much the definition of Not Useless where I come from. Sure, I'm mostly just the muscle for Shinra, but you can't have a brain if you don't have muscles to defend it, am I right?"

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Aw geeze, there's the kicker. I don't have the Buster Sword - of course, Cloud's taking good care of it now; I know I can trust him with it - all I have are a few left over potions, my mastered materia, and a little pressed flower I keep inside my armor. But that one, that's mine. As long as I can keep a little part of Aerith with me, this weird ol' afterlife shouldn't be so bad.
"Not much to offer, but these health potions should come in handy to anyone who has some minor scrapes and bumps that need taking care of."

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ____Zack________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____Zack______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____Zack______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____Zack________"

Comments

[herlivinglegacy.livejournal.com]

The sudden presence drew his attention immediately. He'd seen Zack in the Lifestream a few times, though only from a distance and usually with that woman who constantly attempted to thwart his progress. He'd been to busy then, too occupied with his own plans and controlling his various clones to bother with the effort.

Sephiroth wandered over from his own sorting, tilting his head a little as he neared. "Zack," he purred. "How good to see you again." It was mocking, for all it was said lightly, and with a small hint of a smile. Masamune was in hand, waiting.

[soldierfair.livejournal.com]

I hadn't been paying attention. I should have, since there are always stories of the great hereafter not exactly being a bed of roses, but Sephiroth is pretty much the last person I would expect to see here. Really, he's not the kind of guy to get killed so easily. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcTUFRllIvU#t=2m15s) That doesn't keep me from jumping and damn near crapping my pants when I hear him, though. He may be cracked, and sure, there's still a little hero worship in me, but he is so, so adept at being scary.

"Hey man," I say, and I try not to wince at how my voice just cracked.

[herlivinglegacy.livejournal.com]

He tilted his head a little further, finding the waver in Zack's voice amusing. "I watched you die," he said blandly, gesturing vaguely with his free hand. Leather creaked, just a little, as he did so.

It was unnecessary to say, perhaps, but he wanted to see how Zack reacted, wanted to see how much he remembered, how much he'd lost to the Lifestream.

[prettypendulum.livejournal.com]

Kuronue liked this guy. But, more importantly the health potion thing sounded useful. Not just for himself but for others as well.

"Health potion?" he asked, sliding up close to Zack. "How about scars, does it heal scars?" He raised his eyebrows and placed his hands on his hips, his wings shifting a little to mirror his amusement.

[soldierfair.livejournal.com]

Oh man, another dude who doesn't know what personal space is, but he seems ni-

... are those... wings?

"Can you fly?" I blurt out, feeling stupid even as I say it. But still, the only people with wings I've met are Angeal, Genesis, and a bunch of monsters. This guy doesn't really seem to be any of them. And monsters don't generally use potions.

[prettypendulum.livejournal.com]

He blinked. "Yeah," he said, then grinned. They flared out wide and more or less waved at Zack. "Like em?"

[ukon-sakon.livejournal.com]

They hadn't been back to the sorting room since they'd left. Sakon was curious and Ukon served to make it easier to meet others and find his way around.

"This isn't the afterlife," Ukon said once the boy stopped talking. "It's some kind of school."

[soldierfair.livejournal.com]

I blink. "A... school?" Not counting that I'm getting an impromptu puppet show, I'm pretty sure I'm dead. No one could survive what I went through.

[ukon-sakon.livejournal.com]

"That's what it looks like, but there aren't many classes," Ukon said, crossing his arms.

"Ah, sorry," Sakon said softly. "This place is strange."

"It has moving staircases and strange house elf creatures and talking dogs," Ukon embellished, spreading his arms wide.

[junotechsupport.livejournal.com]

"This is not any sort of afterlife," a voice said from the doorway, as Fuuka peeked her head in, Koromaru at her heels.

[soldierfair.livejournal.com]

"I'm beginning to think that's the case," I say, tilting my head so I can see the source of the voice. It's a cute young girl, though she seems terribly timid. I smile in what I hope is an inviting but not creepy way. "Hi."

[junotechsupport.livejournal.com]

"Hi," Fuuka said stepping in slightly so she wasn't so hidden by the door. "This is actually a school to learn magic."

[tallyhopippip.livejournal.com]

"You're a soldier? I'm a soldier! Well, before I came here and became a vampire."

[soldierfair.livejournal.com]

Before he became a vampire. Man, that's a disturbing parallel. "Um, is vampirism requisite here?"

[bloodlettersson.livejournal.com]

Vishous knew a soldier when he saw one. He was one too, in a way. But warriors would always be different to soldiers. Still, he was damn curious.

The tall man gestured to Zack with his gloved hand, that of which was wrapped around the neck of a half empty bottle of Grey Goose. For a drunk, Vishous seemed pretty normal. "First Class, huh? What's the difference between you and a normal soldier?"

[soldierfair.livejournal.com]

"Mostly just ranking, status, credibility, loyalty... that kind of thing." I rub the back of my head, a bit embarrassed. This guy looks like he knows the trade, for all that he smells like the back end of a Turk bar. "I really only got promoted because two other first class SOLDIERs defected."

[beyourvalentine.livejournal.com]

Vincent frowned. SOLDIERs used to always out source to the Turks. It drove Vincent insane, at the time.

That was another story, however.

First Sephiroth and now another SOLDIER? This was...too much of a coincidence. He held back, watched the two SOLDIERs interact, then approached when he thought it safe. "Fair," he said, narrowing his eyes in silent thought. The name was familiar. He wasn't sure why. "You'd best keep your distance from Sephiroth."

[soldierfair.livejournal.com]

I glance at the speaker - and wow, that is a load of red he's got on - and then over at Sephiroth, who is still pouting in his little angst corner.

"Know him?" I ask, almost dreading the answer. Who knows what Seph got up to, who he pissed off (or killed) in the three year gap.

[lady-kirin.livejournal.com]

"Are you a medic of some sort, then?" Acorna tilts her head curiously. "It's not exactly common for military types to offer medical supplies as their bribe." Not that she was complaining, of course, but it struck her as being a little odd.

[soldierfair.livejournal.com]

I smile at the pretty... lady? Well, odd features notwithstanding, she kind of gives off this aura of nice, like Aerith does. Did.

"No, SOLDIER operatives often work solo in the field, so keeping medical supplies on us is wiser than just depending on Cure materia." I shrug. "Can't tell you how many times a judiciously used Phoenix Down saved my life." INnmy defense, I'd been stuck in a test tube for four years, so the last few potions I had wouldn't have kept me alive much longer, at the end.

[carri3-whit3.livejournal.com]

Carrie frowned.

"Define 'kill unnecessarily,' please?" she asked quietly.

[soldierfair.livejournal.com]

I frown back, confused. "Well, if I go into a situation where it's kill or capture, I'd prefer to capture. I have to kill a lot in my line of work, and I try to keep it at a minimum if I can."

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

"Oh hello there, soldier boy!" The Sorting Hat swooped down from someplace it wasn't a moment before, and performed a flirty little pirouette in the air before Zack. "Such a nice head of hair you have there, all those cute little spikes. . . how about you tell me about this Chocobo Bill's Chococheese, and I'll just make myself comfortable on that pretty head of yours."

[soldierfair.livejournal.com]

I'm not a hundred percent sure, but I think the hat is coming on to me.
"Um. The Chocobo Bill stuff was kind of a misguided attempt at making cheese from chocobo milk." And since it's kind of impossible to milk a bird, I can only try not to imagine where it actually comes from.

Gryffindor!

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

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