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Strange.
Duncan Idaho, Mentat, Swordmaster of Ginaz, protector of the Atreides line and ghola number.. 489 (give or take a few, it was hard to keep track after so long) AND the ultimate Kwisatz Haderach (ftw!), stood in the sorting room. He wasn’t easily confused, but he could find no recollection of such a room across the vastness of his memories. Where was he? Was this some trick of Erasmus? A final strike against humanity?
It had just been revealed that he was in fact the ultimate Kwisatz Haderach, and had merged with the flowmetal skin of the robot Erasmus in order to bring humanity to it’s next pinnacle.
Or something like that.
State your name.
He blinked, running his fingers through his wiry dark hair, a habit from ghola 470. “Duncan Idaho. I was also called Hayt, but that was.. before.”
The Mentat part of his mind scanned the document and was stymied by the strange and illogical nature of the questions. “I.. cheese? I’m not sure what that has to do with anything, but there was a soft white cheese I enjoyed on Caladan. Went well with pundi rice wine.”
- Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
His brow furrowed. “Barney,” he answered without hesitation. Ghola 312 had an irrational fear of purple incorporated into his makeup by the Tlieaxu. He wasn’t sure why.
- What time is it where you are?
“The end of the war,” he said. “The fifteen thousand year conflict against the thinking machines had come to a close. Or seven thirty.”
- If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Duncan grinned wickedly, “I would take only what was offered,” he answered, recalling Hayt’s reply to a flustered Alia.
- If you are pushing to be in:
- Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
“The No-Ship Lollipop,” he stated. It wasn’t particularly clever, but the title amused him.
- Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Duncan shook his head. “Questions of breeding and marriage are better left to the Bene Gesserit.. or others who are more interested in focusing particular genetic lines. I have no interest in them.” Never mind that he was a tad defensive because his previous gholas had been used as part of Leto II’s breeding program. Nope.
- Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
The Mentat frowned, “It is a universal constant. The paperwork will always outpace your work and your desk will always remain over capacity. Destroy your desk and the paperwork will follow.”
- Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
“I am Duncan Idaho. I am a Ginaz trained Swordmaster for House Atreides, a Mentat, and the ultimate Kwisatz Haderach. I am far from useless. So there."
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Super_sword
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Super_sword
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Super_sword
One day, marmalade will rule the world. Super_sword
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Date: 2010-01-11 01:05 am (UTC)Came then to the Sorting Room the one called Usul by the men of Sietch Tabr, called Muad'Dib by hordes of shrieking warriors, and called late for dinner by no man or woman.
Paul Atreides' spice-saturated senses had registered a worrisome blankness in the fabric of spacetime. It had troubled him for weeks, making the Harkonnen presence at Hogwarts a trivial worry in comparison. The Baron was a known quantity. This blankness was not. Under the shield of, say, a prescient Guildsman, any treachery could blossom and spread unseen.
The blankness centered on the Sorting Room today, here and now, and Paul had come to confront it.
Even he, doubly schooled to self-possession by Bene Gesserit training and the harder lessons of the Arrakeen desert, must register outwardly surprise at what he found.
"Duncan!"
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Date: 2010-01-12 12:50 am (UTC)He had seen Paul.. at least a ghola of him.. just a moment ago. Actually it was two gholas, one who tried to kill the other. Or something like that. Thinking too much about his immediate past hurt his
mun'shead."Paul!" he exclaimed, stepping forward with feline grace to embrace him.
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Date: 2010-01-14 04:51 am (UTC)Flowmetal indeed. Oh, Dune sequels.Nonetheless his essential Duncan-ness made itself plain in every movement, every cadence of the man's voice. Paul entered his embrace without hesitation or worry."A change's come over you, old friend." Concern was plain in his voice.
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Date: 2010-01-11 01:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-11 01:43 am (UTC)His sense of humor was bred out with ghola #276.
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Date: 2010-01-11 03:26 am (UTC)((Wow, I didn't even try for crack by putting Steff in here.))
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Date: 2010-01-11 01:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-11 02:12 am (UTC)Really, as the Kwisatz Haderach, he was above cheesy jokes like that.
"The Kwisatz Haderach is the pinnacle of human evolution. Able to be in many places at once, crossing space and time with his mind."
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Date: 2010-01-11 03:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-01-11 04:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-11 03:36 pm (UTC)He wasn't going to take offense. That had been bred out in ghola 197 and again in 204. It took a second try.. he was stubborn.
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Date: 2010-01-11 05:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-01-18 11:47 pm (UTC)She cocked her head.
"Not human, but what?"
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Date: 2010-01-19 12:48 am (UTC)"The Kwisatz Haderach," he answered.
But it's more complicated than that now, Erasmus whispered, part of his own Other Memories.
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Date: 2010-01-19 01:42 am (UTC)Also, like an Honored Matre, not always terribly bright.She could tell he was some kind of dangerous thing, but she had no idea what a Swordmaster of the Ginaz was capable of -- no idea she was hopelessly outmatched.Without warning -- wanting to see what he was made of -- she launched herself at him, doing some crazy Muay Thai move.
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Date: 2010-01-18 11:49 pm (UTC)"Eh-oh!" He bounded forward, flapping his mittlike hand and lowing the traditional Tubby greeting in that weirdly masculine-yet-effeminate voice of his, mouth barely moving.
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Date: 2010-01-19 12:51 am (UTC)Duncan stepped back, the finely honed instincts of a Ginaz Swordmaster, Kwisatz Haderach and all around super guy collectively agreeing that this purple... thing wasn't right.
"Can you understand me?" He finally ventured.
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Date: 2010-01-19 01:26 am (UTC)Unseen and discorporate, yet audible to all, Tinky Winky's Narrator chimed in: "One day, in Hogwartstubbyland, Tinky Winky met a man who said funny things!"
Having reality parsed for him, Tinky Winky felt relieved: the blankness broke, and the Teletubby replied by chortling and performing three jumping jacks in a row. "Tinky Winky! Tinky Winky!" he proclaimed.
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Date: 2010-02-14 10:42 pm (UTC)The Hat was given to cryptic declarations. In this instance, maybe not so cryptic, as it hovered close to Duncan and attempted to caress his face with one of its dangling straps.
Perhaps it'd received some letter of recommendation from the Tyrant's breeding program, or Murbella?
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Date: 2010-02-15 08:23 pm (UTC)A breeding program supervised by the Hat. Maker help the students if he ever got -that- kind of idea.
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Date: 2010-02-21 09:23 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2010-02-22 03:56 am (UTC)Deploy thy feline grace in Gryffindor!