A Swordmaster, Ghola and the Kwisatz Haderach! (application)

[super-sword.livejournal.com]

Strange.

Duncan Idaho, Mentat, Swordmaster of Ginaz, protector of the Atreides line and ghola number.. 489 (give or take a few, it was hard to keep track after so long) AND the ultimate Kwisatz Haderach (ftw!), stood in the sorting room. He wasn’t easily confused, but he could find no recollection of such a room across the vastness of his memories. Where was he? Was this some trick of Erasmus? A final strike against humanity?

It had just been revealed that he was in fact the ultimate Kwisatz Haderach, and had merged with the flowmetal skin of the robot Erasmus in order to bring humanity to it’s next pinnacle.

Or something like that.

State your name.

He blinked, running his fingers through his wiry dark hair, a habit from ghola 470.  “Duncan Idaho. I was also called Hayt, but that was.. before.”

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

The Mentat part of his mind scanned the document and was stymied by the strange and illogical nature of the questions. “I.. cheese? I’m not sure what that has to do with anything, but there was a soft white cheese I enjoyed on Caladan. Went well with pundi rice wine.” 

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop? 

His brow furrowed. “Barney,” he answered without hesitation. Ghola 312 had an irrational fear of purple incorporated into his makeup by the Tlieaxu. He wasn’t sure why. 

3. What time is it where you are?

“The end of the war,” he said. “The fifteen thousand year conflict against the thinking machines had come to a close. Or seven thirty.”

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

Duncan grinned wickedly, “I would take only what was offered,” he answered, recalling Hayt’s reply to a flustered Alia.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

1. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

“The No-Ship Lollipop,” he stated. It wasn’t particularly clever, but the title amused him.

2. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

Duncan shook his head. “Questions of breeding and marriage are better left to the Bene Gesserit.. or others who are more interested in focusing particular genetic lines. I have no interest in them.” Never mind that he was a tad defensive because his previous gholas had been used as part of Leto II’s breeding program. Nope.

3. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

The Mentat frowned, “It is a universal constant. The paperwork will always outpace your work and your desk will always remain over capacity. Destroy your desk and the paperwork will follow.”

4. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

“I am Duncan Idaho. I am a Ginaz trained Swordmaster for House Atreides, a Mentat, and the ultimate Kwisatz Haderach. I am far from useless. So there."

I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG.   Super_sword

 I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them.   Super_sword
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch.  Super_sword

One day, marmalade will rule the world.  Super_sword

 

Comments

[super-sword.livejournal.com]

Duncan smirked bitterly. Chief minion of the Bene Gesserit. "They are hardly what you would call farmers. And no, I use my abilites to protect those in my care." The young Paul, Jessica, and all the other gholas on the no-ship. He had to get back to them.

((And why they were there is beyond the mun))

[steff-is-a-girl.livejournal.com]

Steff nodded. "Riiiiight," she said. "Doesn't sound like particularly interesting work, babysitting, but if it makes your dick hard, more power to you." Hey, Steff wouldn't be Steff without making at least one crude sexual reference per thread.

[super-sword.livejournal.com]

"In the course of a few thousand years and a few hundred lives, I've found more than a few things that can do that. Protecting the gholas in my care from the Overmind and the Guild was never one."

He tugged at his sleeve, leering at Steff. "Although I've learned many useful tricks from the Bene Gesserit in that area."

[steff-is-a-girl.livejournal.com]

"OK," Steff said gamely, glad to be on familliar ground. "Show me." She crossed her arms over her less than ample breasts. "I need something to impress the Baron with."

[super-sword.livejournal.com]

"If you're a courtesan, shouldn't you know those tricks already? And which baron are you referring to?"

[steff-is-a-girl.livejournal.com]

"Did you just call me a whore? What the fuck, dude? Not every person with a healthy appreciation for sex is getting paid for it. Baren Harkonnen and I are just NSA fuckbuddies. Is that OK with you?" This last was said with a sarcastic lilt which implied there was definitely a correct answer.

[super-sword.livejournal.com]

At the mention of the Baron, Duncan's friendly demeanor chilled. "Baron Harkonnen? Well, I can't fault you for a poor choice in bedmate. If you can find the appropriate equipment underneath his.. ampleness, than you should certainly be commended."

"And I meant no offense, I thought you were one of the Bene Gesserit trained courtesans as you mentioned sex so casually."

[steff-is-a-girl.livejournal.com]

Steff had to admit, the Baron wasn't exactly her first choice of esthetically pleasing bed partners. But what he l,acked in prettiness he made up for in ways this ba bysitter dude certainly would cringe to know about.

"I don't have any complaints," she admitted with another shrug. "But that name rings a bell. What'd the Baron do to piss in your breakfast cereal?"

[super-sword.livejournal.com]

"He tried to hurt the ones I care about," he said simply.

It would take too long to explain kanly and what it meant for House Atreides and Harkonnen. Besides, he was pretty certain that she wouldn't be very interested in a political or historical discourse on the matter.

[steff-is-a-girl.livejournal.com]

"Oh, I see," said Steff thoughtfully. "Well, that's gotta suck. I take it you've managed to get your revenge?" That seemed only the logical thing to do.

[super-sword.livejournal.com]

Duncan smiled wolfishly. "The Harkonnen met with an appropriate end."

"You have no interest in matters of politics," he stated. "A wise position. What is your interest in this school?"

[steff-is-a-girl.livejournal.com]

"Fuck no, I don't do politics!" Steff declared. "If I did, I'd just hang out with the goddamn elves some more." She rolled her eyes.

"As for the school... I dunno. The magic learning is cool, and I've found people who share my interest in necromancy and fucking." Though not always in combinations thereof, more was the pity.

[super-sword.livejournal.com]

"Elves?" In his hundreds of lives, he had never heard of elves outside of ancient stories that had been stored in his new Other Memories.

Erasmus was positively gleeful at the new knowledge and the mystery that the school presented.

"This is a strange chapterhouse," he mused. "So. What happens first? The magic or the sex?"

[steff-is-a-girl.livejournal.com]

Steff's expression could best be described as a leer. "I always like to start out with the sex myself," she said, prowling a step closer. "What do you think?"

Predictably, she was getting hard. Clearly, she had no compunctions about public sex, particularly in the sorting room.

[super-sword.livejournal.com]

Idaho smirked, "Sex can be considered a weapon, to ensnare or enslave a particular target. Although I see your, *ahem*, sword, is already preparing for such a battle."

[steff-is-a-girl.livejournal.com]

Steff laughed. "All of that is true... particularly the last," she said. She gave him another once-over. "So... you game? Do you top or bottom?" Hey, at least she wasn't commencing with the ravishment, although this was probably the last of the negotiations she would allow on this subject.

[super-sword.livejournal.com]

Duncan knew the game. He moved closer, directly into Steff's personal space until his lips were a fraction from hers. "I do what I please. BUt first let's get this pesky business of voting out of the way. I'd hate for you to get sidetracked."

[steff-is-a-girl.livejournal.com]

Steff moved closer as well, initiating full-body contact. Her grin was wicked as she reached to unfasten his shirt.

"If you say so," she said. "I never get distracted from the important things. Where should I vote you?"

[super-sword.livejournal.com]

His hands dropped to her waist, pulling her in hard. "I would prefer Gryffindor. Once this matter is over with, we can attend to more entertaining matters," he murmured, nuzzling at her neck.

Vote: Gryffindor

[steff-is-a-girl.livejournal.com]

Steff quickly cast her vote. "Gryffindor it is," she announced, and then moved in for a kiss. Fucking people in the sorting room seemed oddly transgressive, especially if the person involved was a personal enemy of someone she was also fucking. In short, today was apparently Steff's lucky day.

Re: Vote: Gryffindor

[super-sword.livejournal.com]

Paul had told him that kanly, the vendetta between House Atreides and House Harkonnen was impossible in the school. And technically, the vendetta was over because House Harkonnen had been destroyed by Paul.

Still, it didn't stop him from considering the possibilities.