Application: Discord, the Xenaverse

[chaoswithawhip.livejournal.com]

Where was this? It looked vaguely like The Halls of War, with the stone walls and flaming torches, but the feel was entirely wrong. The energies were completely unfamiliar, in fact, and Discord didn't like that one bit. She was supposed to cause confusion, not suffer from it! She wasn't sure how she'd gotten here (she didn't remember being invited to any decadent Olympian revels, and if it had been good enough to forget, she'd have at least a headache) but there was no reason to stick around. Time to teleport elsewhere.

...and it didn't work.

With a shriek of displeasure, she stalked around the room, taking in her surroundings. For some reason she'd neglected the desk with the scroll on it earlier. Scroll, pen, definitely some sort of enchantment... well, there was nothing else to do.




State your full name.
"Discord. Goddess of Chaos. Perhaps you've heard of me?"

Yep, it was that sort of scroll. The quill reproduced her words faithfully. More proof that wherever she was, she wasn't in the grip of ordinary mortals. As if they could hold her.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Someone else's. Preferably snatched from another god's offerings. No, she wasn't going to set that on paper.

"Xynomyzithra. You know, the stuff they make in Crete? Why, you looking to build me a shrine?"

A shrine to her. Now, that would be a splendid thing. Gotta act goddessly...

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Oh, really." She lifted one hand, buffed it against the bodice of her leather corset, and held out her fingers. "Kill someone directly? I might break a nail."

3. What time is it where you are?
"If you're the one who trapped me here," she snarled, "It's too late." Hurriedly, she remembered the image she was trying to project and gave a little laugh, trying to pass it off as a joke.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Interesting question. "I like that name, 'Sirius Black'. Sounds a little dangerous. Does he live up to it?"

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
That was odd. And bartending... so not her thing. Still, if it was in interest of gaining worshippers...

"Styx. It doesn't get much darker than that."

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
'Mythology'. Not a concept Discord cared for. Mortals gossiping about their betters. Pathetic, really.

"It's simple. Have them fight it out, and find someone more interesting while they're distracted."

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Do I look like a scribe?" Discord sniffed, then shrugged. "Maybe you're under a curse. Defile any sacred groves lately?"

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
"Useless?" She spun, showing off her trim figure clad in her customary strappy corset and leather miniskirt that so many mortals seemed to copy. And in case being a fashion plate wasn't enough (that was more Aphrodite's gig, anyway), she raised a hand and sent a blue-white bolt of energy to incinerate one of the threadbare tapestries that lined the wall. She couldn't resist a satisfyingly wicked chuckle at that.


6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
That restriction was an annoyance. Where was the fun in being a deity (even a minor one) without the threat of godly wrath?

"Got any enemies?" She shrugged. "I'm good at sowing dissent among enemies."




I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. __Discord__________
I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. yeah, right __Discord_________.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ___Discord________.
One day, marmalade Chaos will rule the world. __Discord___________

Comments

[prettypendulum.livejournal.com]

Kuronue was one very amused demon. He didn't know where to start, her wardrobe or her answers to some of the questions.

He hadn't met a goddess before, but he didn't let that deter him. His fingers itched and so he crossed his arms over his chest to keep himself from fidgeting too much.

"I'm not the one who put you in here," he said first, in case she decided that he was before he had the chance to say otherwise. He couldn't help the grin that pulled at his lips, flashing the tips of his small fangs. "How would you go about killing someone indirectly?" he asked, genuinely interested.

[chaoswithawhip.livejournal.com]

Well. Company. Discord circled Kuronue, eyeing him appraisingly. She wasn't sure what he was; even more unnerving, and she didn't like that. But she maintained what she hoped was a knowing grin.

"You've heard the concept of 'whispering poison in someone's ear'? Why get rid of people one by one when you can do it in bulk?"

[prettypendulum.livejournal.com]

He turned his head to follow her with his eyes when he could, tapping one of his fingers against his arm. He let her circle him, not minding all that much, though he was weary of an attack. The tapestry was still smouldering quietly. "Ah, but there's something to be said for the intimacy of death. Indirect methods are impersonal." Not that he was trying to prove her wrong or anything.

His eyes sunk to what was shown of her legs, then he forced himself to look up to her again. His grin widened just slightly. "Welcome to Hogwarts, Discord," he said.

[babylonjackal.livejournal.com]

Akabane had found interesting people within the Sorting Room, though he could not remember being here himself and knew that he had at one point. He didn't linger on that, though. There were more important things to think upon and act upon.

He walked into the room, amused at the girl there. Her outfit looked like something Hevn would wear, were she in a mood.

"Yare, yare," he murmured. "How is it you are not useless if you will not kill yourself?" he asked.

[chaoswithawhip.livejournal.com]

"Why bash someone over the head with a rock when you can throw some gravel at the top of a cliff?" she scoffed. "Brute force is for minions." Never mind that she could be considered a minion herself; Ares didn't seem to be here.

[babylonjackal.livejournal.com]

"Who said anything about brute force being required?" Akabane asked smoothly. "I know several who kill most elegantly. But, if you only throw gravel at the top of a cliff, then you cannot be sure of your success." Success was of tantamount importance as a professional.

[charlesofdensen.livejournal.com]

Shaking off the uneasy feeling he got upon knowing that he was looking at a goddess, Ofdensen merely said, "Yes, but Styx is too obvious a name."

[chaoswithawhip.livejournal.com]

"'Dionysus's' Tavern would have been obvious. Would you rather I called it 'Under A Rock'?" Her eyes began to glow, never a good sign.

[charlesofdensen.livejournal.com]

"No. I would have gone with Lethe. Most people who would go to a bar in the dark would be going to forget their sorrows, would they not? And it's slightly less obvious, since Styx gets all the attention."

[gourmetchairman.livejournal.com]

"No, just one tree. I did not end up with a curse, though, just a disappointed demon."

[chaoswithawhip.livejournal.com]

"Demons are nasty enough for you mortal types," Discord said with a laugh.

[gourmetchairman.livejournal.com]

"Ah, but we are friends, the demon and I, so he was not as vengeful as he would have been to a stranger." Kaga said with a faint smile.

[soggynotecards.livejournal.com]

Great. If there was one goddess we didn't need...

Demyx leaned against a column. "Welcome to Hogwarts, Discord. Been a while since we had a goddess come through."

[chaoswithawhip.livejournal.com]

Not a very respectful posture, she noted.

"Can't always socialize with the little people," she said arrogantly.

Especially arrogant, considering her small stature.

[omg-sunflora.livejournal.com]

"Eeek, thund...wait. I'm not afraid of Thunderbolts! They don't hurt me much!"

[chaoswithawhip.livejournal.com]

A talking sunflower was probably Demeter's, and Demeter was usually laid back, but when she got pissed off, she got pissed off, and never let it go.

"Better not tell Zeus that."

[miranda-bnewski.livejournal.com]

Miranda didn't even bother to read the application beyond the name. She'd taken one look and drawn the obvious conclusions.

"Hey, nice stage name. Wish I'd thought of it."

[chaoswithawhip.livejournal.com]

What? She whirled in irritation. "Stage name?"

[shoggies.livejournal.com]

A small pack of Shoggies comes squelching into the Sorting Room, apparently on a mission. They of course fail to notice the application, not that they'd know what to do about it if they did, and go oozing up to Discord.

Shoggy 28: "Hi there! You must be sooo cold in that! Humans get cold real easy! And when they're frozen, they're not very tasty."

Shoggy 11.3: "We have to build a Dethtower! And you look like a cultist! So maybe you know where we can get some souls of forsaken children? Because those would really help!"

Shoggy 15: "Are you Mastress Shubby's? Or are you Master Nyarly's? You don'ts look much like fish, so I know you're not Master Dagoon's. And we really need some forsaken children souls! Can you help us?"

The Shoggies blink at Discord expectantly, looking rather hopeful.

[chaoswithawhip.livejournal.com]

Well, those things were certainly repulsive. Strife would have loved them. And being accused of being human was nothing short of infuriating.

"I don't handle souls," she said finally. "You're thinking of Hades."

[pullo-xiii.livejournal.com]

Titus Pullo had seen a lot of strange things since he had come to modern times and Hogwarts. But a goddess, granted one whose notice he tried to avoid, was something new.

He had absolutely no idea of what you were supposed to do when you met a god or goddess. Avert his eyes? Fall to his knees? Have a pigeon on hand to sacrifice?

"I thought you'd be taller," he blurted out.

[chaoswithawhip.livejournal.com]

Elegant regal goddess, elegant regal goddess...

"I thought you'd be smarter," she retorted with an amused sneer.

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

"Darling!" The Hat got all air-smoochy. "I've been wanting you to show up for ages! It's hard to create sufficient chaos all by my lonesome!"

[chaoswithawhip.livejournal.com]

"Of course it is," she sniffed. "It's my job, after all."

Bitchiwitch!

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

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