Application: Discord, the Xenaverse

[chaoswithawhip.livejournal.com]

Where was this? It looked vaguely like The Halls of War, with the stone walls and flaming torches, but the feel was entirely wrong. The energies were completely unfamiliar, in fact, and Discord didn't like that one bit. She was supposed to cause confusion, not suffer from it! She wasn't sure how she'd gotten here (she didn't remember being invited to any decadent Olympian revels, and if it had been good enough to forget, she'd have at least a headache) but there was no reason to stick around. Time to teleport elsewhere.

...and it didn't work.

With a shriek of displeasure, she stalked around the room, taking in her surroundings. For some reason she'd neglected the desk with the scroll on it earlier. Scroll, pen, definitely some sort of enchantment... well, there was nothing else to do.




State your full name.
"Discord. Goddess of Chaos. Perhaps you've heard of me?"

Yep, it was that sort of scroll. The quill reproduced her words faithfully. More proof that wherever she was, she wasn't in the grip of ordinary mortals. As if they could hold her.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Someone else's. Preferably snatched from another god's offerings. No, she wasn't going to set that on paper.

"Xynomyzithra. You know, the stuff they make in Crete? Why, you looking to build me a shrine?"

A shrine to her. Now, that would be a splendid thing. Gotta act goddessly...

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Oh, really." She lifted one hand, buffed it against the bodice of her leather corset, and held out her fingers. "Kill someone directly? I might break a nail."

3. What time is it where you are?
"If you're the one who trapped me here," she snarled, "It's too late." Hurriedly, she remembered the image she was trying to project and gave a little laugh, trying to pass it off as a joke.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Interesting question. "I like that name, 'Sirius Black'. Sounds a little dangerous. Does he live up to it?"

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
That was odd. And bartending... so not her thing. Still, if it was in interest of gaining worshippers...

"Styx. It doesn't get much darker than that."

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
'Mythology'. Not a concept Discord cared for. Mortals gossiping about their betters. Pathetic, really.

"It's simple. Have them fight it out, and find someone more interesting while they're distracted."

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Do I look like a scribe?" Discord sniffed, then shrugged. "Maybe you're under a curse. Defile any sacred groves lately?"

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
"Useless?" She spun, showing off her trim figure clad in her customary strappy corset and leather miniskirt that so many mortals seemed to copy. And in case being a fashion plate wasn't enough (that was more Aphrodite's gig, anyway), she raised a hand and sent a blue-white bolt of energy to incinerate one of the threadbare tapestries that lined the wall. She couldn't resist a satisfyingly wicked chuckle at that.


6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
That restriction was an annoyance. Where was the fun in being a deity (even a minor one) without the threat of godly wrath?

"Got any enemies?" She shrugged. "I'm good at sowing dissent among enemies."




I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. __Discord__________
I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. yeah, right __Discord_________.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ___Discord________.
One day, marmalade Chaos will rule the world. __Discord___________

Comments

[shoggies.livejournal.com]

A small pack of Shoggies comes squelching into the Sorting Room, apparently on a mission. They of course fail to notice the application, not that they'd know what to do about it if they did, and go oozing up to Discord.

Shoggy 28: "Hi there! You must be sooo cold in that! Humans get cold real easy! And when they're frozen, they're not very tasty."

Shoggy 11.3: "We have to build a Dethtower! And you look like a cultist! So maybe you know where we can get some souls of forsaken children? Because those would really help!"

Shoggy 15: "Are you Mastress Shubby's? Or are you Master Nyarly's? You don'ts look much like fish, so I know you're not Master Dagoon's. And we really need some forsaken children souls! Can you help us?"

The Shoggies blink at Discord expectantly, looking rather hopeful.

[chaoswithawhip.livejournal.com]

Well, those things were certainly repulsive. Strife would have loved them. And being accused of being human was nothing short of infuriating.

"I don't handle souls," she said finally. "You're thinking of Hades."

[shoggies.livejournal.com]

The Shoggies of course think that Discord is human, since she is shaped like one, having not been informed otherwise, and fail to pick up on any annoyance, being Shoggies.

Shoggy 11.3: "I don't think we know anyone named Hades! But, maybe you can introduce us? Because we really need the forsaken soul of a child. It would make the Dethtower sooo much more evil!"

Shoggy 15 reaches out to try and poke at Discord with a pseudopod.

Shoggy 15: "What do you handle? Sacrifices? For Mastress Shubby? Or Master Nyarly?"

Shoggy 28: "Do you want a paper hat? We can make them really good! We're Shoggies! I'm Shoggy, and that's Shoggy, and that's Shoggy. What's your name?"

[elfkameo.livejournal.com]

((I hope you don't mind me jumping in.))

Kameo showed up to join the Shoggies, retaining her usual oblivious-to-everything-not-explicitly-spelled-out demeanor. That, and she liked the blobs.

"It's true; they're very talented," the elf offered to the gothic-looking woman. It appeared neither of the two Hufflepuff members were up to the goddess's standards of intelligence.

[chaoswithawhip.livejournal.com]

Discord had been about to stamp on Shoggy 15's pseudopod when Kameo approached, put she looked up as she was addressed.

"At making paper hats?"

[elfkameo.livejournal.com]

"Yes," she attested, with a rather blank look in her eyes. Kamoe kind of wasn't paying attention right now; she just knew there were Shoggies and someone being sorted. She'd come across as not so smart, even though she really wasn--HAHA, right. Kameo only avoided Sparklypoo because she was an idiot, one could argue.

[shoggies.livejournal.com]

The Shoggies, being naturally clueless, are not even sure that Discord is being sorted. They just know that they haven't questioned her about help with their 'Dethtower' yet.

Shoggy 11.3: "We're really good at lots of stuff! We can make paper hats, and we can build lots of things, especially cyclopean things. We work for Great Master Cthulhoo!" (to Kameo) "Oh, hi there!"

Shoggy 28: "And Master Nyarly! He's had lots of jobs for us!"

Shoggy 15 takes advantage of Discord's distraction to poke at her with pseudopod.

Shoggy 15: "We'd eat you, because you look 'yum yum', but, then we don't get more chickens and hats. And chickens are sooo 'yum yum'. If you don't know where to get any souls, what do you know about?"