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((OOC: could possibly wander into NWSFness due to topic rather than action...just in case))Okay, that test of his is almost finished. I just need to find someone to give it a final proof and it'll be done.
There are a couple of things bothering me, though. With Yagami and B using my given name, the name I was born with, I have heard it more recently than I ever have before. I wonder, what is Near's name?
The other thing is that Near needs a safe word. Yes, I can read him pretty well, but there is always the possibility that I'd misread something. While things between us may have started out as a power game, as me trying to conquer him, they're not that way anymore. I need to let him know that, explain things better to him. I know he doesn't fully understand.
I will have to make him understand. Once he understands what the safe word is for, I think he'll understand this isn't a power game anymore, that it is a relationship. I think he'll understand that I love him, too.
Not that I'd tell him that directly. Ever.
I rummage through a drawer, digging out a chocolate bar, deciding that I should probably bring up "safe word" before "name." It'd help prove I mean what's being said and not said.
There are a couple of things bothering me, though. With Yagami and B using my given name, the name I was born with, I have heard it more recently than I ever have before. I wonder, what is Near's name?
The other thing is that Near needs a safe word. Yes, I can read him pretty well, but there is always the possibility that I'd misread something. While things between us may have started out as a power game, as me trying to conquer him, they're not that way anymore. I need to let him know that, explain things better to him. I know he doesn't fully understand.
I will have to make him understand. Once he understands what the safe word is for, I think he'll understand this isn't a power game anymore, that it is a relationship. I think he'll understand that I love him, too.
Not that I'd tell him that directly. Ever.
I rummage through a drawer, digging out a chocolate bar, deciding that I should probably bring up "safe word" before "name." It'd help prove I mean what's being said and not said.
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Date: 2008-03-19 04:01 am (UTC)CD player outside the box: Jonathan Coulton singing about DNA.
CD player inside the box: Silence.
Small-scale test was a go.
He looked up from his windowseat perch and smiled, but didn't want to interrupt what Mello was doing.
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Date: 2008-03-19 04:18 am (UTC)What other possibily was there? It barely took a second's thought.
"Kira."
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Date: 2008-03-19 04:25 am (UTC)I nod, satisfied.
Now for my other question. "Near, what is your given name?"
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Date: 2008-03-19 04:29 am (UTC)His voice dropped to barely above a whisper. "Don't you have enough to use against me?"
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Date: 2008-03-19 04:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-19 04:40 am (UTC)Near sighed. "You're like me. You should know. My name's never been something spoken to me lovingly. It's always been a liability. It was so close... when we finally brought down Yagami..." It shouldn't make his throat tighten, not when he'd just told Matt the story, but coupled with being asked his name, asked by Mello... "He had a scrap of paper from that accursed notebook. When one of his own men shot him, he'd written all but the last letter. So tell me why I would want to tell you my name."
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Date: 2008-03-19 04:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-19 04:50 am (UTC)And still, he was trembling, and still, he had to close his eyes to speak. "Nate River."
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Date: 2008-03-19 05:25 am (UTC)And, forget? When it was seared so deep in his memory? Near met Mello's eyes. "Kira."
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Date: 2008-03-19 06:03 am (UTC)"We've said it, said both, that you're mine, I'm yours, that we love each other..." That was still enough to give him a shocked twinge. "Matt said something. He asked... were we boyfriends. The word seemed silly to me. Is there one? For what we are, I mean."
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