Of Names and Words ((Closed RP, Mello, Near))

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

((OOC: could possibly wander into NWSFness due to topic rather than action...just in case))Okay, that test of his is almost finished. I just need to find someone to give it a final proof and it'll be done.

There are a couple of things bothering me, though. With Yagami and B using my given name, the name I was born with, I have heard it more recently than I ever have before. I wonder, what is Near's name?

The other thing is that Near needs a safe word. Yes, I can read him pretty well, but there is always the possibility that I'd misread something. While things between us may have started out as a power game, as me trying to conquer him, they're not that way anymore. I need to let him know that, explain things better to him. I know he doesn't fully understand.

I will have to make him understand. Once he understands what the safe word is for, I think he'll understand this isn't a power game anymore, that it is a relationship. I think he'll understand that I love him, too.

Not that I'd tell him that directly. Ever.

I rummage through a drawer, digging out a chocolate bar, deciding that I should probably bring up "safe word" before "name." It'd help prove I mean what's being said and not said.

Comments

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

"Nice, that's nice," Near murmurs, shallow words, a raft for them to look to in the sudden depth of their shared emotion. It's all so much, and it's so very unlike anything in Near's experience. But Mello's always been able to provoke some feeling in him, and now it's a feeling with a name to it, a scary and precious name.

He runs a hand down Mello's spine, tracing it, the faint knob of each vertebra under his fingertips. The other hand he curls around one hip, pulling Mello tightly to him, moving slowly against him.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

This...it's so much deeper than what Matt and I shared...so much more real. There's no doubt, no worry, nothing beyond his touch. Perfection. That's the word, or completion.

Matt may be an anchor, my shore, but Near is my depths. I need them both, but I only need Near like this.

I let myself move, letting his rhythm fill my body, my mind.

And, still, nothing but soft moans fill my throat.

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

"If I don't take these off of you they're going to be a mess soon," Near muttered, reaching for the lacing of Mello's pants. The vest would have to come off too, yes, but it could wait. Every moan that floated from Mello's lips seemed to skitter across his skin, lifting the hairs on his arms.

"Do love you," Near whispered, shifting and twisting to stay in as close contact as possible as he stripped them both. Finally, black leather and white pajamas slid to the floor in a twined heap, and he pulled Mello close to him again, gripping his waist and leaning in for a gentle but insistent kiss.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I can only lean into his kiss. His touch, so sure, so...so trembling, so clinging. I can't call up anything to try and take over, none of my usual dominance.

I moan louder when our bodies touch, the clothing gone between them. "Need," I think I manage to say. Or maybe it's just a moan that he swallows from my lips.

I wrap my arms around him. As long as he doesn't stop, I'll be okay.

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

"Tell me what you need," Near murmured, easing Mello onto his back, stretching warm and hungry atop him. "I want you to have what you need. I want you to be what you need."

It was intoxicating, dizzying. Without Mello's words, his name, his declaration of love, he'd never have had this sudden sureness.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

"You...this...us..." I can't get the words out of my head right. I cling to him, my hands roaming his back. My legs move, wrapping around his, pulling him closer to me. One of my hands finds his hair and I pull his lips down to mine. My other hand finds his ass and holds it, kneading gently.

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

"Us," Near repeated, pushing down against him, still slow, still steady, but harder now, sucking lightly on Mello's lower lip, working his hands up under his back to pull him even closer.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I arch my back, letting his hands under me. My leg slides up his, pulling him closer as I surrender to his touch. I can only beg like this, Near, only like this. Words are gone, thought is gone, there is only need and Near...and need for Near.

And Near is here.

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

"Mine?" It was a whispered question, not a statement; Near wasn't even remotely certain enough for that yet. But he could still feel the truth of it, feel it in the way Mello pressed up against him and moved with him, and Near rocked down against him just a little faster, kissed him just a little more urgently.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

"Yes," I managed to whisper, to moan. Words are difficult, even just the one. My body moves with his, surrendering to his need, to my own.

I need him in me, but does he know how? He's been on the receiving end, but and on the giving end when I went down on him, but that doesn't mean he'll know how to do it this way. "In?" I whisper, hoping he'll understand, hoping he can.

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

Even grinding down harder, it was still dreamlike, the feel of Mello under him, warm and pliant and rising and falling with him like the sea...

...and saying something, but Near couldn't quite puzzle out his meaning. "What?" he murmured into Mello's ear, nuzzling his neck.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

"In," I whine. "In me," I manage. I wrap my leg up around his hip, pulling him closer to me. I can feel my body preparing for him, relaxing, opening. All he needs is to remember lube, that's all..."Lube," I whimper. Gods, let him understand because I just can't make it any clearer.

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

"You want me to..."

But it was clear, so very clear that there was no point questioning it, and it was a good thing they had a bottle of lube on the nightstand because Near wasn't in any shape to search for it. He slathered a generous amount of the stuff on, suddenly dreadfully self-conscious and aware, and took a deep, nervous breath as he took hold of Mello's hips and eased inside of him.

"Oh, god, Mello," he whispered, almost afraid to move. "Tell me. Let me know I'm doing it right."

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

"Oh, god! Near! Near..." I'm babbling. God, it feels so good. I cling to him. My body was ready, oh so very ready for him and he fills me so very perfectly. I tighten my leg around him, bringing the other up to wrap around his waist. "Near," I whisper. Kiss me...kiss me, fill me, take me...but all that escapes my lips is a groan.

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

"Love you, love you," Near moaned freely, kissing Mello with sudden, urgent need. The calm, gentle rhythm from earlier was discarded; now his eager inexperience showed raggedly, his thrusts rapid and irregular as he sucked Mello's tongue into his mouth, nipping at it.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

Oh, god...god...god! If I were sane, I'd teach him a thing or three, but now, it just feels so good, so so very good. I moan, groan, sob in need.

I feel pulses of pleasure coursing through my body, weirdly not where I'd expect them. My mind is fracturing, I can feel it, under the pressure of so much.

I come, harder than I ever have. I think I died...it felt like I did. I think I screamed...my throat is raw.

And, Near is here...

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

And it's with Mello's cry echoing in his ears that Near climaxes, feeling for a hallucinatory moment almost weightless, almost bodiless nothing but warmth and pleasure and Mello, oh god Mello, and he thinks he said that aloud but he's not sure, not sure of anything as he slumps atop him in a spent, boneless heap.

Minutes later, forever later, Near rolls to one side and pulls Mello into his arms. "I didn't expect you to want that, I..." He laughs. "I should have practiced that soundproofing spell."

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I cling to him. I don't know how he can talk. "Shaddup and enjoy it," I manage to mutter, trying to be irritable, but I'm so content. I don't want to talk, don't think I can. I just want to hold him and be held. That's all I need. Him.

I'll beat him later for making me so vulnerable, but for now, it feels good.

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

"Yeah." He speaks softly, nuzzling Mello's hair. He was so warm, and he smelled good, and everything felt good... he couldn't remember ever being so relaxed.

Could he ever be this calm, this at ease, without Mello in his arms? No, probably not.