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hh_mirrorDoctors of Hogwarts,
A prominent Hufflepuff is suffering!
Mere hours ago, one prominent Hufflepuff, called for the sake of his privacy His Majesty
A cause for His Majesty's tragic happenstance may already have been discovered. For the sake of His Majesty's privacy I cannot give you a direct image, but the muscles surrounding his eyes undergo regular transformations, from his natural state, which is similar to this, to a temporary one which physically resembles this.
Notice the stress this creates for the brow muscles! The danger is exacerbated by the fact that blindness may be a hereditary condition for the King. Furthermore, his brother and friend wear glasses. Coincidence!?
Aid! Conquer! Redress!
While awaiting your reply, I will do my part by yelling at His Majesty's disappointingly weak eyeballs.
Sincerely,
Sir Wolfram von Bielefeld
Betrothed to the Maou
Hufflepuff
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Re: Return owl, charmed to turn into ten large and ugly but harmless garden spiders once it is read
Date: 2007-10-08 02:11 am (UTC)Man of bugs and tiny things
Scholar of undoubtedly useful facts about said bugs and tiny things
But is neither a king nor betrothed to one, and it is doubtful that he has saved any world in particular
Perhaps an ant farm is a world?
But is still obviously Very Important
Most people just wear boots if they want to feel taller,
No, but no doubt most others appear very high to you.
I come from the demon kingdom of Shin Makoku. If anything, your world is the backwater, as our monarch literally has to travel through water in order to visit yours. However, I am moved by your troubles. It must be very trying to be constantly sieged with requests for a real doctor. The hope in the puking masses eyes (if they haven't already gone BLIND). Then the disappointment and confusion. And then the pity and further confusion when they learn what you actually do and how you assert it betters society.
But carry on. Carry on your bitter battle against a harsh society which understands little your contributions to it. At least you can always win against bugs.
With equal respect,
Sir Wolfram von Bielefeld
Betrothed to the Maou
Hufflepuff.
P.S. But do you think bugs could be invading His Majesty's eyes?
Return owl
Date: 2007-10-08 02:16 am (UTC)Bitch, you did NOT just call me short.Wolfie-baby,
Blah blah blah blah blah. You still don't seem to know the difference between medical doctors and the scholarly type.
Dr. Jack Hodgins
PS- Yes. Yes they could be.
Re: Return owl
Date: 2007-10-08 02:19 am (UTC)And you don't know the difference between essential and dispensable ones.
Sir Wolfram von Bielefeld
Betrothed to the Maou
Hufflepuff
Re: Return owl
Date: 2007-10-08 02:26 am (UTC)Yeah, we'll see how indispensable I am when you need to identify what's laid its eggs in your buddy's eye.
Dr. Jack Hodgins
Re: Return owl
Date: 2007-10-08 02:37 am (UTC)If that's what you rely on for proof of self-worth, you must have a very estimable life indeed.
Sir Wolfram von Bielefeld
Betrothed to the Maou
Hufflepuff
Re: Return owl
Date: 2007-10-08 02:45 am (UTC)Fartypants McDouchebagWolly Polly Fish Head,
Whatever lets you sleep at night.
Dr. Jack Hodgins
Re: Return owl
Date: 2007-10-08 02:49 am (UTC)Yes. I assume what lets you sleep at night is a mattress filled with cockroaches.
Sir Wolfram von Bielefeld
Betrothed to the Maou
Hufflepuff
P.S. These cockroaches are very important cockroaches.
Re: Return owl
Date: 2007-10-08 03:07 am (UTC)I'm sorry, you must have mistaken my sleeping habits for your own.
Dr. Jack Hodgins
Re: Return owl
Date: 2007-10-08 03:10 am (UTC)Re: Return owl
Date: 2007-10-08 03:10 am (UTC)No, seriously, what the hell?
Re: Return owl
Date: 2007-10-08 03:19 am (UTC)As a man with multiple degrees (which are very important for society!) there was no way that you could have written such a juvenile and thoughtless response. Therefore I had to assume that the subtext your message "You have mistaken my sleeping habits for your own" to mean that while I had thought that I sleep next to my betrothed, Shibuya Yuuri, I, in fact, don't, and you slept there in my place.
A complete lie, but still, that statement could not be left unchallenged.
So STAY AWAY FROM YUURI!
Sir Wolfram von Bielefeld
Betrothed to the Maou
Hufflepuff
P.S. Perhaps you meant to imply that I sleep on a mattress of cockroaches. If so, you should have said "You have mistaken your sleeping habits for my own". But you are a scholar, and I am but a soldier, so no doubt that wasn't your intention.
P.P.S. STAY AWAY FROM YUURI!
Re: Return owl
Date: 2007-10-08 03:24 am (UTC)I'm pretty sure I'm not sleeping with your betrothed. Even if I was inexplicably attracted to whoever this person is, I still wouldn't touch them for fear of having you somehow rub off on me.
I was implying that your mattress is filled with horrible creepy-crawlies that will wait until you least expect it and lay their eggs under your skin. You'll come crying to me to find out what horrible plague has befallen you, and I'll point and laugh.
Dr. Jack Hodgins
Re: Return owl
Date: 2007-10-08 03:31 am (UTC)Well of course you're not. But your owl implied that, and so I threatened you, as a good betrothed and bodyguard to the King should. If you try to seduce Yuuri by showing him insect antennas, it won't work!
If you were implying that I was sleeping on bugs, then you should have just written that. And if I did get impregnated by crawlies, I'd certainly know who to blame, I bet you misplace them like you misplace your pronouns.
But you would find that funny? Really? I think you spend too much time with insects. You should enjoy a real joke. Perhaps one with a chicken.
Sir Wolfram von Bielefeld
Betrothed to the Maou
Hufflepuff
Re: Return owl
Date: 2007-10-08 03:37 am (UTC)...dude, you're sleeping with your king? Upward mobility at its finest. Good job, man.
Here's a joke. Your FACE.
Dr. Jack Hodgins
Re: Return owl
Date: 2007-10-08 03:41 am (UTC)Of course, I am going to marry him, and he has to be protected. But I don't need approval from you! Anything bipedal would probably be to you upward mobility at its finest.
You're a joke. FACE!
Sir Wolfram von Bielefeld
Betrothed to the Maou
Hufflepuff
Re: Return owl
Date: 2007-10-08 08:06 pm (UTC)Whatever floats your boat, I guess.
Do you even have any idea what that means, or are you just repeating things I say in what you assume to be a creative manner?
Dr. Jack Hodgins
Re: Return owl
Date: 2007-10-08 08:11 pm (UTC)How dare you mention floating boats to me!
And... I am honestly not precisely sure what it means. I am relying on a translator. It translates Shin Makoku's tongue to English, and also Idiotic Garble to Shin Makoku tongue. Both of which is necessary when communicating with you.
Sir Wolfram von Bielefeld
Betrothed to the Maou
Hufflepuff