Niki and Jessica Sanders, Heroes

[splitniki.livejournal.com]

A thin, blonde woman in her early thirties looked around herself, seeming a little bemused. Like many, she had appeared suddenly in the sorting room, with no real explanation for her being there. After a moment, she walked over to the desk and picked up a form, reading it. About halfway down the page, her face hardened, and she put it down, perhaps a little more forcefully than necessary.

“To hell with this. Why would I fill out an application? I’ve just got to get out of here!”

But, a moment later, she picked it up again, grabbed a quill, and started filling it out, muttering something about this looking like as secure a place as any.

((Jessica is Niki’s alternate personality, and each is perfectly aware of the other. Plain text is Niki’s writing, Italics are Jessica. Also, my apologies to 329-and-328-mun, for apping a such a similar character so soon.))

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

I don’t really have much of a preference. Micah likes the mozzarella string cheese, so that’s what we usually have the most of around the house.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

I wouldn’t

Barney. He rots children’s brains. I’m glad we never let Micah watch it.

3. What time is it where you are?

A few minutes before four.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

Sirius Black, of cour

No one. I wouldn’t harass anyon

Of course we would. And it would be

No one. Don’t pay attention to her.

Don’t pay attention to her. I would harass Sirius Bla

Ok, fine. I might flirt with Kingsley, a little.

Sirius Black.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

Oh, I don’t know. How about Jouir? It’s French, and can mean either to enjoy or to orgasm. Or maybe

Niki’s.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

He should marry whoever he likes.

For once, I agree with her. I flatly don’t care who he marries. Case closed.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

It’s because you’re useless at paperwork, I’d think. Make sure you’re actually doing it, instead of just signing anything that looks remotely like a line.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

Niki is useless. I, on the other hand, can take on grown men many times my size, and win every time. If you need someone shot, I can get the job done. And I can also serve drinks and deal blackjack.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

Wait, you mean if I threaten you, I get to leave? In that case I’ll *completely crossed out*

Do. Not. Listen. To. Her. I’ve got $2000 US with me, a gun, and some, shall we say, borrowed jewelry and watches.

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. NS
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. NS.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. NS.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. NS.”

Comments

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Um. Hi. *waves*

Are there, um, two of you answering this? And, ah, have either of you ever worked at a place called One Eyed Jack's, up in Canada? 'Cause whichever's Slytherin answer really takes me back there.

[splitniki.livejournal.com]

Jessica nodded. "Yeah, there's two of us. Unfortunately. I'd get a lot more done if I didn't have to work around her all the time." She thinks for a moment, then adds, "No, I don't think we've ever been to Canada. If we have, it was at a time when I wasn't very active, and I don't think she would work at a place called One Eyed Jack's, if she had a choice."

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm sure there's equivalent clubs all over the place I don't know about. But pouring drinks, dealing cards, the occasional bit of bouncing - for any given meaning of the term "take on guys twice my size" - those were all essential skills at Jack's when I worked there. I tell ya, it was not just a job, it was an adventure.

So what do you guys do? Either or both, I guess. Are you both Niki, or...?

[c-macaulay.livejournal.com]

Camilla reads the application -- varied handwriting, still-legible remarks crossed through, and all. She looks up from the parchment and favors Niki with a quizzical smile.

"Why jouir in the infinitive? Why not, say, jouissance?"

Henry is nowhere about, thank goodness. He would have very little patience for such an allusion to the degeneracy of modern literary theory.

[splitniki.livejournal.com]

"I had a couple years of french in highschool, and I don't remember all that much," Niki admitted. "And it was Jessica who wrote that; I'm surprised she knows that much. She didn't start showing up until years later."

[c-macaulay.livejournal.com]

Camilla decided to leave the question in the realm of the grammatical, all things considered, and let the semantic aspect (http://www.litencyc.com/php/stopics.php?rec=true&UID=602) go. She said merely: "I see. Where did Jessica come from, then? Maybe she took classes somewhere else before she joined you?"

[ra-tilt-chimera.livejournal.com]

*Talk about split personalities.* Uh, hello. Do you often get into arguments like that?

*He holds out a hand.* By the way, the name's Zelgadiss Greywords. Call me Zel; it's easier to remember.

[splitniki.livejournal.com]

"Not usually," Jessica replied, taking the offered hand in an extreamly firm grip and shaking it. "Niki usually doens't have this much spine. She seems really determined to keep us here, for some reason."

[ra-tilt-chimera.livejournal.com]

If you don't mind me asking, which of you had that body first? Because while I'm all for a democratic approach, I have to say that maybe whoever's body it is should get more say in the matter.

[agentsgent.livejournal.com]

"... good evening, madam." Dealing with young master Wooster's friends was enough to make him less than startled by a... rather unusual mode of speaking. Frankly, this was more intelligible than some of the slang. "Is there anything I might get you to make you more comfortable?"

[splitniki.livejournal.com]

"I'm fine," Niki began. She was probably going to continue, but Jessica took over, rather abruptly.

"A way outta here would be nice, though," she said.

[agentsgent.livejournal.com]

"You must be sorted first, madam. That would be the only way I am aware of."

[pollicle-zapper.livejournal.com]

Hurray! Another schizo! That was lovely. Quaxo bounced up to the woman with a huge grin on his face.

"There are two of you in there?" he asked eagerly. "That's cool! I have another person in my head. His name is Mistoffelees and my name is Quaxo, and before you there was this girl and she had her sister in her head and I think we could start a club for the people with voices because there are several of us here!"

He paused to take a breath. Mostly because Mistoffelees had subtly reminded him to.

"Oh, and he tells me to ask you what kind of jewellery you have," he said next, a little calmer. "So. What kind of jewellery do you have?"

[splitniki.livejournal.com]

Wow. Cute kid. Cute kid who was definately /not/ crazy, Jessica reminded herself, because if she started putting that lable on people who talked about their own headvoices, where would that leave her?

"Hello, Quaxo. I don't have much," she admitted, digging one hand into her pocket. She pulled out a few simple, but quite valuable-looking, necklaces and rings, and a watch.

[pollicle-zapper.livejournal.com]

Quaxo studied the jewellery curiously. "Did you steal these?" he asked conversationally, totally unaware that that was not exactly a question most people would ask someone they had just met. "I have a friend who steals things. Actually I have two, but I don't see much of the other one now... That's sad. But the first one, she's very nice. Even though she steals."

He paused, politely listening to the voice in his head. Then he looked up at Jessica. "Mistoffelees wants to come out and poke around in the shiny things himself," he said, absolutely paraphrasing. "Is that okay?" Quaxo made it a habit of asking people before he let his alter-ego out. "He promises to be polite," he added helpfully.

[328-and-329.livejournal.com]

((OOC - Heh, no prob))

Three-Two-Nine walked over and observed the latest applicant for a short while.

"Sis, do you think she-"
"Most defiantly, I wonder what she's been through."
"Then we should talk to her."

She stepped closer.

"Hello, I'm Three-Two-Nine" She spoke before her features changed ever so slightly.
"And I'm Three-Two-Eight, her sister" She spoke again.
"May I ask, are you two sisters?"

[splitniki.livejournal.com]

"Glad to meet you, girls," Niki said, using the plural because she knew that was what she prefered. "I'm Niki-"

And, because it seemed polite, she let Jessica take control.

"And I'm Jessica," she concluded. "Yes, we're sisters."

((Thanks. I'd been working on this, and then you put up your app, and I was all, "oh shiitaki mushrooms." I hoped you wouldn't mind.))

[328-and-329.livejournal.com]

She started talking quietly to herself.

"Did you hear that, they're sisters."
"Yes, I wonder if they are like us at all."
"You mean... Did she have to..."
"Yes, I'll ask for you."

She turned back to Niki and Jessica.

"How did you end up together like that? Did you also have to consume each other?"

((OOC - I just sat down a read 'White Rain' when suddenly I thought, Lets app as her. Multiple Personality Disorder is always a fun thing. ^_^))

[daxtastic.livejournal.com]

Two voices in your head? Try eight! Though in Dax's case, that was a positive thing.

"Hello there. Are you multiple personalities, or two entities in the same body?" She asked this in a tone one might use to inquire about the weather.

[splitniki.livejournal.com]

"Multiple personalities," Niki said.
"Two entities," Jessica retorted, taking control almost before Niki was done talking.

Niki regained control with a sigh. "We're not really sure," she explained.

[daxtastic.livejournal.com]

"That must be quite frustrating. For the both of you." It was strenuous enough reintegrating Joran, even knowing what he was. "I'm Jadzia." She smiled and held out a hand. "357 and 28 years old. You'll find a great deal of like-minded company at Hogwarts."

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Are strikeouts your favorite form of sexual harassment? Poor Mr. Black must be quite sore by now!

[splitniki.livejournal.com]

"Er, no. Sorry about that," Niki said. "See, there's two of us in here, and we couldn't agree. I would have erased all that, but we were using ink, so we had to make do with crossing it out."

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

*nods sagely* I see. So one of you would prefer to strikeout Mr, Black, and the other...? Maybe Mr. Shacklebolt?

Hufflepuff

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

What a lovely handgun. It feels just right in my straps!

Your bribe has been accepted.

Welcome to Hufflepuff!