Niki and Jessica Sanders, Heroes

[splitniki.livejournal.com]

A thin, blonde woman in her early thirties looked around herself, seeming a little bemused. Like many, she had appeared suddenly in the sorting room, with no real explanation for her being there. After a moment, she walked over to the desk and picked up a form, reading it. About halfway down the page, her face hardened, and she put it down, perhaps a little more forcefully than necessary.

“To hell with this. Why would I fill out an application? I’ve just got to get out of here!”

But, a moment later, she picked it up again, grabbed a quill, and started filling it out, muttering something about this looking like as secure a place as any.

((Jessica is Niki’s alternate personality, and each is perfectly aware of the other. Plain text is Niki’s writing, Italics are Jessica. Also, my apologies to 329-and-328-mun, for apping a such a similar character so soon.))

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

I don’t really have much of a preference. Micah likes the mozzarella string cheese, so that’s what we usually have the most of around the house.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

I wouldn’t

Barney. He rots children’s brains. I’m glad we never let Micah watch it.

3. What time is it where you are?

A few minutes before four.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

Sirius Black, of cour

No one. I wouldn’t harass anyon

Of course we would. And it would be

No one. Don’t pay attention to her.

Don’t pay attention to her. I would harass Sirius Bla

Ok, fine. I might flirt with Kingsley, a little.

Sirius Black.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

Oh, I don’t know. How about Jouir? It’s French, and can mean either to enjoy or to orgasm. Or maybe

Niki’s.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

He should marry whoever he likes.

For once, I agree with her. I flatly don’t care who he marries. Case closed.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

It’s because you’re useless at paperwork, I’d think. Make sure you’re actually doing it, instead of just signing anything that looks remotely like a line.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

Niki is useless. I, on the other hand, can take on grown men many times my size, and win every time. If you need someone shot, I can get the job done. And I can also serve drinks and deal blackjack.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

Wait, you mean if I threaten you, I get to leave? In that case I’ll *completely crossed out*

Do. Not. Listen. To. Her. I’ve got $2000 US with me, a gun, and some, shall we say, borrowed jewelry and watches.

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. NS
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. NS.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. NS.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. NS.”

Comments

[splitniki.livejournal.com]

Jessica nodded. "Yeah, there's two of us. Unfortunately. I'd get a lot more done if I didn't have to work around her all the time." She thinks for a moment, then adds, "No, I don't think we've ever been to Canada. If we have, it was at a time when I wasn't very active, and I don't think she would work at a place called One Eyed Jack's, if she had a choice."

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm sure there's equivalent clubs all over the place I don't know about. But pouring drinks, dealing cards, the occasional bit of bouncing - for any given meaning of the term "take on guys twice my size" - those were all essential skills at Jack's when I worked there. I tell ya, it was not just a job, it was an adventure.

So what do you guys do? Either or both, I guess. Are you both Niki, or...?

[splitniki.livejournal.com]

"I'm Jessica. If I start acting too sweet for my own good, it probably means Niki's in control," she said. "I... provide assorted services for Mr. Linderman, in L.A. Card dealing, serving drinks, the occasional assasination - it's quite interesting at times, really."

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Wow. I never got asked to kill anybody at Jack's. But then I was only there part-time.

How long have you guys been, um. Together?

[splitniki.livejournal.com]

"A few years. I'm not exactly sure. I've had control for a significant part of the time for the past six months or so." She pauses, and there's a slight, almost inperceptible change in her face - it seems softer now, somehow.

"The first blackout I can remember - that's before I knew what was going on, that she was there - was seven months ago," Niki confirmed. "Jessica's been getting stronger since then."

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Hi guys. I'm Laura. Nice to meet you both.

Two questions, one for Niki and one for Jessica, and please don't get offended, okay? I just gotta check.

Niki, did something happen that might've, I don't know, triggered the blackout thing around that time?

And, Jessica? Um. This is awkward. You didn't, um, come from someplace else, like, outside of Niki and just kind of move in and take over, did you? Only reason I ask is, I knew a spirit-thingie like that once. I don't think you're the same kind of, um, being, but...

[splitniki.livejournal.com]

Niki shrugged. "A lot was going on, actually. My husband got in a bit of trouble with Mr. Linderman - you wouldn't beleive how much power that man has - and I was feeling kind of helpless, you know? To protect my son. I think that's why Jessica was able to take control."

She paused, and a breif flicker of emotion crossed her face, as if she was listening to someone. "You don't mind if I answer Jessica's question for her? I'd rather not let her have control again, if I can help it. She can get violent, real easily."

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Sure. The - thing - I knew was violent too. But Jessica doesn't strike me as - super-sadistic, like he was. More like, gotta be done so I do it, maybe?

[splitniki.livejournal.com]

"Well, maybe. But she has sort of skewed ideas of what's got to be done," Niki replied. "She's convinced she's my twin sister, who died, years and years ago. I'm not really sure about that, though. The 'real' Jessica was never this... unstable."

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Well, yeah, I guess I can see that. Only, BOB was the pull the wings off flies for fun type, and I was the fly. I don't see Jessica being that - gleeful, I guess, over hurting people. And he definitely came from someplace totally outside my little world.

The great thing about being at a magic school is, people don't think I've lost my marbles when I tell 'em things like that. Half of 'em have had something equally as weird if not weirder happen to them, you know?

[splitniki.livejournal.com]

"That is really good to hear, actually," Niki said, with a releived smile. "Sometimes, it seems like people are too caught up on the idea that I'm crazy to really pay attention when I try to, you know, warn them about Jessica."

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Exactly! And, y'know, there were lots of times through the years when I wondered if maybe I really had gone crazy...but even if I had, it wouldn't've made the danger I was in any less real.

*tilts head* On the whole, I kinda think you guys are maybe coping with your situation a lot better than I did. I mean, Jessica does destructive things, sounds like, but I did self-destructive things.

...Y'know, this is kinda funny. I'm supposed to be voting on a House for you to be part of while you're here. Gryffindor for the brave, Ravenclaw for the smart, Slytherin for the cunning and Hufflepuff for the useful, hardworking or Other. But I'm finding I'd vote one of you one way and the other of you another way. D'you think you guys could agree to compromise on Hufflepuff?

[splitniki.livejournal.com]

Her face turned oddly inward for a few moments, as the two discussed it. Finally, Niki turned her attention back to Laura.

"Hufflepuff sounds good to me," she replied. "Jessica really doesn't want to be here in the first place."

Vote: Hufflepuff

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

That works, then. Hufflepuff.

Is there someplace she'd rather be instead? I know it's kind of a jolt when you just get yanked in here.

Re: Vote: Hufflepuff

[splitniki.livejournal.com]

"Just... back home in L.A., I think," Niki replied. "She's a little over-protective of our son."

Re: Vote: Hufflepuff

[wh0-kill3d-m3.livejournal.com]

Oh. Oh. At least you've got common ground there, I guess. How old? and, who'd be looking after him while you're away?

Re: Vote: Hufflepuff

[splitniki.livejournal.com]

"He's ten. And he should be just fine with his dad," Niki replied, sounding as if she was trying to convince Jessica of that fact.