[identity profile] 5by5-lehane.livejournal.com

The door to the popcorn room flew open with a bang and out stalked a curvy brunette, covered in butter and looking none too pleased with the situation. Faith Lehane looked down at herself and scowled. Her favorite leather jacket was ruined. Not to mention her jeans and the new slinky top she had borrowed swiped from Buffy’s closet the day before. Perfect.

The Slayer folded her arms and tapped one booted foot as she looked around. “All right, Red. Not funny. Now c’mon, make with the magic and get rid of this crap.” When there was no reply, her frown deepened. “Wil?” She didn’t recognize her surroundings, and she could pick up no sign of her friends. Come to think of it, she didn’t know of anyone who was cliché enough to operate out of a castle.

Faith checked the inside pockets of her jacket. She was relieved to see she still had two wooden stakes, and a wickedly curved knife in a sheath at the small of her back. In a better mood now that she realized she was still armed, she strode purposefully down the hall, ready to find anyone who could explain where she was, how she got there and that they’d better be able to get butter out of leather.

 

[identity profile] bitmagnificent.livejournal.com
As was wont to happen, there was an uneasy rumble amidst a mass of popcorn. It shifted, and heaved, and spewed forth a spindly-looking man in a tattered suit before settling again. He staggered to his feet, shook his head, and then stopped.

Blink. Glance. Sniff.

Something was wrong. Incredibly wrong, in fact. He could have sworn he was reaching specifically for the handle in order to let Wilf out... but the door was now conspicuously absent. As was the entire chamber, really, the office, the headquarters, the... probably the world. Well, maybe not the world. He didn't feel quite out of phase, not in the cosmic sense, at least. He was still on Earth - an Earth. But something was wrong.

He had absolutely no idea where he was. This was a corridor he was sure he'd never seen in his lives, much less been in. Everything was a bit weird. The dimensions of the walls, the air itself, the smells around him. He hopped experimentally... nope, not regenerated. Still him, easy.

Out came the screwdriver. Environment stable, solid, good, but no signal from the TARDIS. And what was more, a strange substance...

...

"Butter!" he exclaimed indignantly. "And it's not even real! What in - why would someone teleport you and dump butter on your head?" He took an annoyed step forward... and slipped on the greasy sole of his shoe, landing squarely on his bottom with a grunt. "I've been dipped in it! Did you dip me?" he shouted at the air. "WHO TELEPORTS A MAN AND DIPS HIM IN BUTTER?"
[identity profile] lady-thujone.livejournal.com
It had been a while since La Fee Verte had gone all out and held a party. Nothing about this particular day demanded celebration, but sometimes the days with nothing to throw a party for were the best occasions.

She hadn't exactly gone all-out, but the karaoke machine had been topped off with new selections - Sadako, taking a guise that was less 'waterlogged corpse' and more 'alluringly damp', was currently doing a creditable rendition of "Sir Patrick Spens" - and she was stretching her mixologist's art and preparing an array of increasingly elaborately layered pousse-cafés, lined up on the bar in an implict dare for the bold drinker. Occasionally, she'd set one on fire.

The Master found the spectacle entertaining, but he was well aware that such beverages were mainly useful in the creation of truly spectacular hangovers, and he rarely felt the need to cultivate such a thing. But La Fee Verte did make a good Sidecar, and he was sipping one and absentmindedly nibbling on a new minor success; the little pretzel sticks common on Earth bore a striking outward resemblance to a type of snack that had been popular on Gallifrey when he was a child, and with some careful spell use, he'd been able to conjure the memory of the taste into the vastly inferior Earth food. Of course, the Gallifreyan version was I-dare-you spicy, but anyone who tried to make off with any without asking deserved a little pain.

[[give a holler in your subject line if you're trying to get La Fee Verte, Sadako, or the Master's attention, or feel free to belt out some karaoke! The drinks are completely mundane, but very strong, sticky-sweet, and the flavor combinations are dubious at best.]]
[identity profile] derpy-hooves.livejournal.com
There were no mail boxes in hogwarts. There didn't need to be; that's what house elves and the Owlry were for.

However, the laws of magic and the laws of physics hadn't spoken since that one day at gravity's stag party, so there was, for now, a mail box in the sorting room.

A lavender-grey hoof protruded from the mail box. Followed by a head that made a passing, disinterested effort at looking equine. Then the rest of a creature that could only be described as something that a little girl with no practical knowledge of nature and a lifetime supply of non-threatening children's entertainment would imagine a pony would look like.

It was small. The size of a normal pony, though the resemblance pretty much ended there. The coloring, for one, and the coiffed mane and tail. Wings. A mark branded into the rump that looked very much like a cluster of bubbles.

And huge, bright eyes. Bright, slightly askew eyes.


ExpandThe mail box vanished, and Hogwarts would be asked to give a warm welcome to Dipsy Doo. )

"I have read the [livejournal.com profile] hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____DERP_______
I have read the [livejournal.com profile] hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____DERP_______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ____DERP_______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____OH, I LOVE MARMALADE!________"
[identity profile] mad-glory.livejournal.com
"...and then she and her mousy little paramour toss this sparkly stuff all over me. Say goodbye to that dress. But before I could stomp them both into so much sticky witchy goo, she claps her hands and suddenly I'm miles away, starting my descent from 30,000 feet. I could not believe they'd pull such a cheap, flashy trick! I mean, come on, goddess, y'know?"

Glory sighed, taking a sip from a half-empty margarita. She was well into the second hour of her tale of Sunnydale frustration (lavishly annotated) and had conveniently neglected to notice that she was boring the bartender to tears, or possibly to a desperate homicide attempt.

"If you're gonna defy me, at least defy me with a little style. Show some respect for tradition and come up with a few candles or a blood ritual or something. Because banishment by glitter, pfft, that ranks right down there below even the ol' marshmallow detonation gag, am I right? If it ever gets around to the other hellgods I'll never hear the end of it..."
[identity profile] mad-glory.livejournal.com
The popcorn shifted, a bit more violently than usual, and a tallish, attractive blonde woman in a bright red dress appeared in the room, thoroughly doused with butter.

"Ew," she said, nose wrinkling as she surveyed herself and the room. "What's with the retro pantry motif? What the Hell's Gentle Ben been getting into this time?" She paused, considering the butter. "Gotta admit, I didn't think he had it in him to be this kinky. Go Benny." She sighed and raised her voice slightly. "All right, you scabby little maggots, where are you hiding now? Jinx! Murk! Dreg even! Front and center!"

Receiving no answer, she scowled, pacing in a small circle. "That's the problem with sycophantic minion hordes these days," she said out loud to herself, aggrieved. "You try for a little me-time and they're all over you like scabies, but the minute you actually need a round of good ol'-fashioned craven fawning, the li'l cockroaches up and disappear on you." She flailed her hands momentarily in agitation. "So not fair! I paid good money for that motivational flaying program! Argh! Well, fine..."

Grumbling, she stripped out of the buttered dress, revealing a second, completely clean one underneath, and shook the butter out of her hair with an impatient gesture, flinging the soiled garment carelessly over the nearest wall sconce. "Hello! Goddess in the house! What's a deity gotta do to get a snack around here?"

She stepped up to the doorway, planting her hands on her shapely hips and peering around the hallway with a businesslike air. "Somebody in this joint's gotta have a brain worth eating..."
[identity profile] theregothedrums.livejournal.com
He'd be unlikely to admit it in such simple terms, but the Master was a massive attention whore. He'd taken great glee in broadcasting from the Valiant, with a devastated planet cowering at his words. He didn't have a planet at his mercy just now... but there was always WART.

ExpandPeople of Hogwarts, your lord and Master addresses you from on high! )


Of course, that wasn't the only thing he was up to. Just as the last song ended, a basket was delivered to the Eleventh Doctor's door.

ExpandWhat could it be? )
[identity profile] theregothedrums.livejournal.com
Christmas. How special. A bog-standard winter festival, common on planets with the right meteorological profile. Of course, Christmas had developed certain associations for the Master. It would put him in quite a foul mood to think about them, and he'd been in rather a good mood... it would be a shame to let that slip away, wouldn't it?

ExpandAnd thus a Christmas WART was born! )
[identity profile] theregothedrums.livejournal.com
(follows directly from here.)

It had been a bit of a calculated risk, letting the Doctor tie him up. Well, what it had actually been was a rather reckless bit of self-indulgence, but one he could justify. The Doctor's mental state, whatever its source, was desperately compelling and not something he wanted to see go, any more than he currently wanted to revert. He needed the Master's help if he wanted to be able to feel like this again. Therefore, despite the fact that the Doctor was now perfectly capable of ignoring boundaries that he'd usually angst about even considering stepping over, the Master was... well, almost certain he'd be untied soon. Quite confident of it.

"There's one memory to help keep you fed," he murmured. "I think it's a good start."
[identity profile] theregothedrums.livejournal.com
Once more, the Lord and Master sent his words out from on high to his cowering subjects. Only for ‘on high’, read ‘the WART studio’, and for ‘cowering subjects’, read ‘the mostly oblivious denizens of Hogwarts’.


Radio. What a quaint idea; it seemed to be falling by the wayside as the twenty-first century wore on.

ExpandGather round, lesser beings, and let me whisper in your ear. )
[identity profile] captian-smexy.livejournal.com

Jack wanted revenge. The psychopathic, giggling maniac that had tortured him, killing him in increasingly inventive and horrible ways for an entire year was alive and within his reach. It wouldn’t take much to track the Master down and beat him to death, or at least into a very satisfying coma, but he was inclined towards something a little more creative.

 

The Doctor would disapprove. Hell, he’d be furious.

The Master’s reaction.. that would make it all worthwhile.

 

Jack was a quick study and had been reading up on the requirements and components for a good polyjuice potion. A few hairs nicked from the Doctor and he was ready to go. He had even been studying a charm to try and mask his rather odd time signature. It wouldn’t hold out for long, but maybe it would last just long enough.

 

A shorter, more slender man with dark hair in mad, askew spikes began walking the halls, brown trench coat flapping behind him, and an affable smile on his face. Halfway down the hall, he began to whistle.


[identity profile] ancient-adam.livejournal.com
It had taken Methos a bit longer than expected, but he did manage to procure two bottles of Falernian wine of a decent vintage. He sent a house elf off to deliver a message to the man.. alien.. whatever he was. The debt was a few centuries old, but he wasn't one to back out of an agreement.. most of the time.

An old house elf appeared at the door to the Master's room, holding a note.

There are two bottles, even a decent Austerum, as promised, over in Ravenclaw. 
-M
[identity profile] theregothedrums.livejournal.com
Doctor,

I'm sure you've noticed that your gung-ho boy Jack is on the premises. You might want to let him know he just doesn't have the talent to be a sexual predator; I'd never be able to let him down easy.

Do I
really need to sign?



((ETA: NSFW!))
[identity profile] eleventyrags.livejournal.com
He'd been pacing for an hour. The Master was never this quiet for long, not when they were in such close proximity. And he really couldn't count on his previous incarnation handling the Master in an unbiased, unmanipulated way.

In fact, that's what bothered him the most. He hadn't spoken to himself more than twice (it was weird, cut him some slack) since coming here but he knew his own mental state, however distantly. And he knew the Master.

The note he sent was the last in a series of hastily written and then discarded missives.

M,
What are you up to?
- (a scribble of a stethoscope stands in for his signature.


He gave it to a passing house elf with orders to drop it off discreetly and then be scarce. He didn't want to take any chances.
[identity profile] captian-smexy.livejournal.com
The Popcorn room shifted and with a resounding *bang* - another student returned to Hogwarts.

Captain Jack Harkness fell to the floor with a groan. He flopped over onto his back and examined the device strapped to his wrist. Before he could open it, he examined his hands. What the.. ?

"Grease? No.. butter?" He closed his eyes and called out, "If you were going to show me a good time, the least you could do was let me remember it!"

****edited, some threads are now nsfw because well, it is Jack after all!**))
[identity profile] theregothedrums.livejournal.com
Well, things had been going acceptably. Even the fairly drastic situation with the truth-compelling chocolates and the Hogwarts intranet had been salvageable.

Therefore, he sauntered through the halls of Hogwarts at what might safely be considered an ungodly, singing a jaunty song with gusto. The kitchen was his planned destination, a snack was his objective. Perhaps he might be able to scare up a scotch egg. But that was only conjecture. And it gave him a completely innocuous reason to wander the halls at night, trying to decode the castle's mysteries.

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