application for zatanna zatara from dc and vertigo comics.

[hexappeal]

STATE YOUR FULL NAME.
"Zatanna." A beat as she fidgets with her top hat, lifting it then letting it fall back down to her head. She runs a gloved hand down the back of her neck, and around to the side before resting her palm under her chin. She appears a bit nervous, obvious that she doesn't quite know what to expect from all of this. "Zatanna Zatara. And I'm not signing autographs today, sorry."


1. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CHEESE? WHY IS IT YOUR FAVORITE?
"You know," she begins, shifting a little in place before crossing her fishnet-clad legs in an almost shy gesture, "Most cheeses are not vegetarian because of the rennet used in it. I'm not a big cheese-eater, but I do enjoy a good Coquetdale or Tipperary Brie on occasion, particularly if paired with a nice wine." Guys, you better be taking notes. If you intend to wine and dine Zatanna, it better include actual wine (though charming conversation was always an acceptable substitute).


2. WHO WOULD YOU KILL FIRST, BARNEY OR CARROT TOP?
Zatanna's response to this question is the rising of a delicate eyebrow and a thin-lipped frown. That's all, folks.


3. WHAT TIME IS IT WHERE YOU ARE?
"Uh, right now?" Zatanna pulls her top hat off her head and flips it upside down before beginning to dig around inside of it. She reaches in to her elbow -- then nearly to her shoulder, sticking out her tongue as her brow furrows. Eventually, a happy little sound comes and she pulls out a silver pocket watch and pops it open as she returns the hat to her head with her free hand. The magician briefly peers downward before her gaze flickers back up. "Six-twenty in the morning. Why do you ask?"


4. IF YOU WERE ALBUS DUMBLEDORE RETURNED FROM THE DEAD, WHICH MEMBER OF THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX WOULD YOU SEXUALLY HARASS? HOW WOULD YOU HARASS THEM? IF YOU ARE ALBUS DUMBLEDORE, PLEASE ANSWER AS IF YOU WERE SIRIUS BLACK.
Crossing an arm over her chest, she brings her hand up to her face, thumb and forefinger curled against her forehead as the remainder and her palm mask her expression. "Nnnnn, seriously. What are you going on about?" Another heavy sigh as she runs her hand down her face, and she drops her arms into her lap, leaning forward. "Look, if this is one of those newfangled, popular fantasy tween things, I'm not into it. I have no opinion either way and I don't know why all of these magazines and talk show hosts and everyone keep asking me about them. They don't interest me, okay?" She offers an icy gaze that implies that no further commentary will be offered on this subject -- at least not if you want to be walking out of this room with all of your limbs intact.


5. IF YOU ARE PUSHING TO BE IN:

A. SLYTHERIN - PLEASE STATE THE CLEVER, WITTY NAME OF THE BAR IN WHICH YOU BARTEND, IN THE DARK.
"...am I supposed to turn off the light when I state the name? Or do I bartend in the dark or, uh, is the bar always in the dark? More importantly, if the bar is in the dark, why don't I turn on a light?" She'd watch Jimmy mix a drink or thirty in her time and she couldn't imagine not breaking something (if not herself) if she was doing it in the dark. "Dunno. Guess I'd probably ask Jim and Danny if I could hang around the Oblivion Bar. It's my scene and all, but uh... don't really think it's ever been a viable option for an occupation." Ever.


B. GRYFFINDOR - DEBATE WHETHER HARRY SHOULD ULTIMATELY END UP MARRIED TO FRED OR GEORGE. USE EXAMPLES FROM A VARIETY OF WORLD MYTHOLOGIES TO BOLSTER YOUR ARGUMENT.
Remember that expression that she gave as a response for the second question? It's back. "Here's the thing, a person should marry whoever it is that they want to marry. That's that. I also think that if someone is having trouble deciding who to marry, that they should probably take a step back and reevaluate themselves and who and what makes them happy." And probably apologize for sleazing around, while they're at it.


C. RAVENCLAW - YOU GUYS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SMART. EXPLAIN WHY MY DESK IS INUNDATED WITH PAPERWORK AT ALL TIMES, EVEN THOUGH I'M CONSTANTLY DISPOSING OF IT.
Zatanna is now picking at the fingers of her gloves. She isn't particularly happy with the fact that she's being uncharacteristically rude and inconsiderate (if not short in her responses), but the questions appear all meaningless and random, if not confusing or meant to confuse. "I would suggest filling it out, rather than disposing of it."


D. Hufflepuff – PROVE YOU ARE NOT USELESS.
"Listen, you--" Her fingers ball into a fist and she grits her teeth, "listen. I'm not useless, nor do I have to prove it to you." She allows herself to calm down. She's right. She didn't have to prove it to anyone but herself, so why take such offense to that statement?


6. OFFER A BRIBE TO THE MEMBERS OF THIS COMMUNITY SO THAT THEY WILL NOT SQUIB YOU. ITEMS USED IN BRIBERY DO NOT NECESSARILY HAVE TO BELONG TO THE PERSON OFFERING THE BRIBE. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
As she leans forward long, dark hair curtains around the sides of her face. "Everyone wants something different, you know." She finally uncrosses her legs as she gets to her feet, the light click of her heels hitting the floor as she does so. "I figure whatever a 'squib,' is, I don't want it. A bribe implies a bargain -- you tell me what you want and I'll tell you if I can give it to you." As an afterthought, she adds: "And keep it PG!" The first person to assume she's anything other than a magician was in for a very nasty surprise.



"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. - ZZ
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. - ZZ
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. - ZZ
One day, marmalade will rule the world. - ZZ"




OOC NOTE: Zatanna is taken from the immediate ending of Blackest Night and is still under the assumption that Bruce is dead. I've read 97% of her near-sixty year history, so if you have any questions, feel free to ask away.

Comments

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

"You do realize that they're hypothetical questions, don't you?" Not being able to remember his own Sorting made it much easier for the Master to be flippant about the process. ""You're not actually going to be expected to open a bar or resolve romantic triangles. Open-ended bribes are never a good idea, though. Even if no one uses it to put you into an awkward position, you come off uncreative."

[hexappeal]

"Maybe in this universe. Different dimensions work differently. I've been tossed into different places before and asked strange questions." Sometimes that her life depended on, one way or another.

"Uncreative?" She gives a little shrug. "Fine. I'll give you--" She pulls that top hat of hers off again, rather than say it backwards, and digs around, taking out one of those little toy dogs that yip a few times, do a backflip, yip a few times, do a backflip, and so on and so forth -- and hands it to him. "This. You can name him whatever you want, but I was going with Fluffy. You look like the kinda guy that would name a dog Fluffy, by the way." Way to let your mouth run, Zee.

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

"I do?" Just when he thought there were no new accusations that could be leveled at him. "Never thought about it, actually. There's nothing really symbolic or evocative about 'Fluffy', though. Not even any wordplay."

[dangeroushabits.livejournal.com]

John just leaned in the doorway, arms crossed, and watched and listened, a slight, nostalgic smile playing about his face. All right, so this wasn't who he'd been expecting to find here when he'd arrived. But he sure as hell wasn't going to complain.

He was still covered head to toe with butter from his own recent unpopping. (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1992843.html) His hair was full of it and sticking up crazily in all directions, hell, the shit got into everything. She'd laugh at him, or maybe accuse him of taking perversion to a whole new level, but he could live with that. A shower would wait. It was a damn fine thing, seeing Zatanna again.

She hadn't aged a day, and that lingerie she laughably called a costume still fit her like a glove. He had some very fond memories of peeling her out of it. Probably better not to dwell too much on that, it'd been a long damn time and a lot of water under the bridge. But still. Good times.

"That's right, luv. Tear 'em a new one," he said finally, knowing full well she was perfectly capable of kicking the arse of anybody who hacked her off from here to Hogsmeade. Himself very much included, come to that. "It's a load of bollocks, start to finish. I think they just like to play with peoples' heads and see what pops out."

[hexappeal]

"Uh." She knew that voice anywhere. His voice was unmistakably him, always somewhere between amused and calm, cool, and collected. Looks like he had a good head start on what was up here, if not being the cause of it (which didn't seem likely, but considering who it was...).

"You know, you'd think you'd bother visiting -- calling, even. But no, you show up in creepy alternate dimensions where people ask a nearly-omnipotent woman about cheese rather than if she'd like to do a show for charity or, I don't know, help solve some problem that could only be done with magic." She looks him up and down. Normally now would be the time that she'd cover her face, rub her eyes, and force the kind of hug on him that somewhere, deep down, always meant more than what he was willing to see she was offering him. "And you're covered in something. That you don't seem to be in a hurry to remove. So I guess offering to remove it is... probably out of the question."

She really wasn't sure that she wanted to know what it was. Really, really. Still, Zatanna smiles; warm and inviting.

[dangeroushabits.livejournal.com]

"Well, you know me, Mr. Reliable. This place seems to pull people in willy-nilly. If there's a pattern, nobody's figured it out yet." He glanced down at himself and shrugged. "I'll get to it. Was going to, in fact. I just heard something interesting going on in here and thought I'd check it out first."

Oh, he knew. He might be a bastard of epic proportions, and a bit on the thick side when it came to women generally, maybe, but he wasn't a complete idiot and he certainly wasn't carved out of granite. There'd been more than one moment of weakness over the years when if Zee had been there at the time, making that implicit offer, he wouldn't have had the strength to turn her down.

Thank fuck she hadn't been, because there was this long trail of bloodied, broken, doomed people lying in his wake, stretching as far back as the mind's eye could see. Some of them had been close, others had just had the bad luck to cross his path at the wrong moment. More than a few he'd intentionally thrown under the bus, because he was a ruthless sonofabitch like that and too fucking practical by far. And plenty of them had believed--and had every good reason to believe, any sane person would have said--that they were big and bad and strong and capable enough that they had nothing to fear from him. Nearly-omnipotent, yeah, some of them had been that too.

He'd be damned again if Zatanna was going to be one of them. He'd cost her more than enough already, and whatever happened, he needed to know that she was still out there, surrounded by heroes and far, far away from him and his batshit crazy, poisonous world.

...except now she wasn't. Neither was he, technically, but just because he was on another plane didn't mean the Constantine curse hadn't followed right along. And he couldn't walk around caked with grease forever.

Well, fuck.

Outwardly, he chuckled. "It's butter. Bit of a tradition around here, I guess, when people come around again after they've been gone for a while." He shrugged. "I wouldn't say no, if you're inclined. Getting it off with soap's gonna take for fucking ever."

[advancegenetics.livejournal.com]

Ozymandias was bored and tired of waiting for the hat to show up, his own sorting was still in progress but he had found a nice loophole, he could at least wander in to other sorting rooms, just not any where else.

When he heard some one answering the same questions he had he hovered off the ground and let his wings beat a few times before he found himself in the doorway. Wings folded back behind his back as the young man put his feet on the floor, he cleared his throat to let the woman know he was there and then grinned.

"What no NC-17, that's when you get all the good, gory stuff." It was apparent by his tone the bird boy was joking.

[hexappeal]

Lucky him. Zatanna hadn't figured that out yet (which was clear by the vaguely annoyed expression she wore upon the young man's entrance, perhaps confusing him for whomever her captors might have been).

He had a sort of cute smile and he looked a little strange -- so he was up her alley in terms of friendship, so she cans the frown. "Well, I've seen enough of that -- real and otherwise -- that I'm not including it in the deal." At least he said 'NC-17' with 'gory' and not another word. "I'm Zatanna." She approaches with confidence and swagger, but still at a slow pace, despite the fact that he was the one that had come to her and not the other way around. "Nice to meet you. Or, I hope it is."

[advancegenetics.livejournal.com]

Ozymandias for intents and purposes looked human, save for the chestnut covered wings on his back, so strange would have been considered a compliment, since most of the time he got freak or abomination, being a genetic experiment in his world was not exactly a good thing. Zatanna wouldn't have to worry about any thing other than the mention of gory, Ozymandias was not the lewd type of young man.

"I don't really know if it takes the deal seriously, I haven't met it yet. But, from what Death and that Baron guy said it's a magic school and you Ma'am have just applied." Oz laughed and did a mock type of bow "I would say I'd give you the grand tour, but apparently till this hat comes along, we just hang out in these rooms and talk to people."

When he finished his explanation Ozymandias just shrugged his shoulders as if to say what can you do.

[berranyrmizzrym.livejournal.com]

Pharaun raised an eyebrow, sighing a little. "I find it's best not to pay too much attention to the questions. They have little to no actual bearing on anything, never mind the actual topic at hand. They certainly don't relate to the houses at all. Only your name and the bribe really make any difference."

He smirked slightly. "I'm afraid the author of the application is... well, let's just say he doesn't spend much time in what most people would consider a 'normal' frame of mind. Though what 'normal' is for a sentient hat I'm not quite sure."

[hexappeal]

"Hum, really? I didn't think they did, but still better to give my all rather than shrug it off." She'd been in worse situations. Situations that involved needs or the removal of her mouth via magic (let's pretend that never happened, nor the subsequent nosebleed, hm?), and a million other little intergalactic, interdimensional things that could make anyone else -- even a native of her world -- get a literal splitting headache.

"Suggesting that I spend my time in a 'normal' frame of mind then?" A... sentient hat? You know, somehow, that really seemed to make sense. "I'm Zatanna," she starts, holding out a gloved hand as she takes a few steps closer. He didn't appear to be an immediate threat, so she might as well try being her usual friendly self.

[junkyard-hunter.livejournal.com]

Happy to be back to his gruff old self once more, Bobby was out for a wander, looking for Kurama when he heard a voice in the sorting room. The girl was pretty, and even he could feel the magic roiling around her, making his skin itch. He walked in and glanced over her application.

"Don't worry about the application, kid. It ain't supposed to make sense and they always ask stupid questions like 'prove you ain't useless'. You're at a magic school," the hunter said by way of explanation.

[hexappeal]

"Huh..." She peers at him a little, head tilting to the side, "Magic school? That's... odd. I was under the impression that the Spectre had destroyed most of them, regardless of dimension." Still, 'school' was laughable. She was considered the strongest magic user of her world (if not one of the strongest people in her world), outside of the Spectral Force, Shazam, Zeus, and the Phantom Stranger. Essentially, the Quintessence. Of course, Zatanna wouldn't mention this, even if someone could sense it. One of the unspoken rules of magic: don't play all your cards in the first round.

"Nice of you to call me 'kid,' though. No one's called me that since I was in my teens. Makes me feel kind of nostalgic." At just under forty, she'd still lived a very world-weary life. She had seen so much and lost most of it, people and otherwise. "'m Zatanna. And evidently, I was not expecting this." She smiles widely, kindly.

[chinasorrows.livejournal.com]

This marked the first time in a few months that China had frequented the sorting room. It was not a place she would like to find herself, but alas, it was the most direct route to the library. She had a book resting in the crease of her elbow as she held it close to her abdomen. Her hair was up in a clip that eerily recalled a rib-cage. She had an emerald sweater vest on and under it a snowy-white blouse - the colours of the house she had been sorted in to. She stood at the mouth of the room and saw Zatanna. She was peculiar looking and perhaps in need of a fashion intervention, but having thought that, Zatanna was dressed like any, poor street performer and found it a little insulting for a user of magic to dress in such a manner. It was demeaning.

She came up to her application desk, smiled shortly and then perused her application form. She seemed unceremoniously arrogant. Laughably, she would fit in well with most of those in the school. What interested China about Zatanna was that she demonstrated actual magic, instead of menial parlor tricks. Then she read over the last question and her eyebrows rose.

'I want a rare, and valuable, magical tome for my collection. Produce one if you can, if not, I believe my time could be better wasted some place else.' Funnily enough, China Sorrows did not dislike Zatanna ... just yet.

[hexappeal]

Zatanna had several costumes over the years, but kept to the most infamous of them for obvious reasons -- aside from being recognizable, of course. The woman shifts in her spot and stands, considerate of her company.

"Which one? And 'valuable' is subjective." Very, very subjective. She had plenty of pieces that were the only in existence in Shadowcrest, but few were useful or interesting; some were just the babbling of a madman, others the personal notes of her ancestors. Those, of course, would be considered valuable, if only by name. People were fascinated by her lineage, by Da Vinci and Flamel and Cagliostro. They were made valuable by their fame, rather than their actual worth or what the books and journals actually entailed. "And your intent. I don't give or lend books to anyone that will use the information to tip the scales of Chaos."

[endlessgoth.livejournal.com]

Two magic users in a row?

Death passed by the Sorting Room to investigate the latest arrival. She beamed when she saw the magician reaching shoulder-deep into her top hat.

"I love that bit. Heya Zee. How's tricks?"

[hexappeal]

Rule of thumb: they come in groups. You know how it is, ask a magician to show you a card trick and they show you all of them.

"Oh, uh." She straightens up, smiling widely, "Guess it's a bit different with me, since I've got a pocket dimension in mine, but the spirit of the trick remains the same." A light shrug and she slumps a little in the place where she stands. "They'd be better if I could get to a show, but guess I'm stuck here. At this point, you'd think I'd be prepared for it." Oh, but where was all the fun in that? "You been here long?"

[blond-bondshell.livejournal.com]

"Do you prefer a Merlot, Cabernet Franc, or a Cabernet Sauvignon with your Brie?" Bond asked her with a flirtatious smile. A strictly PG flirtatious smile, of course.

[hexappeal]

"I prefer Merlot always. Unless you've got a nice Beaujolais hidden somewhere on your person." She leans forward ever-so slightly and looks him up and down, pretending to check for a bottle. "Ah, nope, doesn't look like you do. Suppose I'll just have to settle for your company sober, Mister...?"


[ooc: NP. My area of expertise are reds, since that's what I enjoy. c:]

[boomerwangfire.livejournal.com]

"Oooh, what's that thingy? The one you looked at with the time and the--can I see that? Please please please please please?" Sokka was fairly hopping from one leg to the other.

[hexappeal]

"Uh..." She gives him an odd sort of look, but the kid does seem pretty enthusiastic. She pulls out the pocket watch and holds it out to him, "This, you mean? Sure. Just be careful." It was old, but she could fix it. Still, she'd... prefer not to, to be entirely honest.

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

"So I can tell you what I want, what I really, really want?"

[hexappeal]

"Uh, if you want?" She leans forward, trying to get a look under the hat. Maybe there was a ghost or something under it. Sure, bits and pieces had already been explained to her, but even as a woman of magic, she couldn't help but continue to look for something more to everything.

Hufflepuff!

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Your bribe has been accepted!

Welcome to Hufflepuff!

[hexappeal]

Lucky me.


[ooc: Sorry for uh, taking so long!]