application for zatanna zatara from dc and vertigo comics.

[hexappeal]

STATE YOUR FULL NAME.
"Zatanna." A beat as she fidgets with her top hat, lifting it then letting it fall back down to her head. She runs a gloved hand down the back of her neck, and around to the side before resting her palm under her chin. She appears a bit nervous, obvious that she doesn't quite know what to expect from all of this. "Zatanna Zatara. And I'm not signing autographs today, sorry."


1. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CHEESE? WHY IS IT YOUR FAVORITE?
"You know," she begins, shifting a little in place before crossing her fishnet-clad legs in an almost shy gesture, "Most cheeses are not vegetarian because of the rennet used in it. I'm not a big cheese-eater, but I do enjoy a good Coquetdale or Tipperary Brie on occasion, particularly if paired with a nice wine." Guys, you better be taking notes. If you intend to wine and dine Zatanna, it better include actual wine (though charming conversation was always an acceptable substitute).


2. WHO WOULD YOU KILL FIRST, BARNEY OR CARROT TOP?
Zatanna's response to this question is the rising of a delicate eyebrow and a thin-lipped frown. That's all, folks.


3. WHAT TIME IS IT WHERE YOU ARE?
"Uh, right now?" Zatanna pulls her top hat off her head and flips it upside down before beginning to dig around inside of it. She reaches in to her elbow -- then nearly to her shoulder, sticking out her tongue as her brow furrows. Eventually, a happy little sound comes and she pulls out a silver pocket watch and pops it open as she returns the hat to her head with her free hand. The magician briefly peers downward before her gaze flickers back up. "Six-twenty in the morning. Why do you ask?"


4. IF YOU WERE ALBUS DUMBLEDORE RETURNED FROM THE DEAD, WHICH MEMBER OF THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX WOULD YOU SEXUALLY HARASS? HOW WOULD YOU HARASS THEM? IF YOU ARE ALBUS DUMBLEDORE, PLEASE ANSWER AS IF YOU WERE SIRIUS BLACK.
Crossing an arm over her chest, she brings her hand up to her face, thumb and forefinger curled against her forehead as the remainder and her palm mask her expression. "Nnnnn, seriously. What are you going on about?" Another heavy sigh as she runs her hand down her face, and she drops her arms into her lap, leaning forward. "Look, if this is one of those newfangled, popular fantasy tween things, I'm not into it. I have no opinion either way and I don't know why all of these magazines and talk show hosts and everyone keep asking me about them. They don't interest me, okay?" She offers an icy gaze that implies that no further commentary will be offered on this subject -- at least not if you want to be walking out of this room with all of your limbs intact.


5. IF YOU ARE PUSHING TO BE IN:

A. SLYTHERIN - PLEASE STATE THE CLEVER, WITTY NAME OF THE BAR IN WHICH YOU BARTEND, IN THE DARK.
"...am I supposed to turn off the light when I state the name? Or do I bartend in the dark or, uh, is the bar always in the dark? More importantly, if the bar is in the dark, why don't I turn on a light?" She'd watch Jimmy mix a drink or thirty in her time and she couldn't imagine not breaking something (if not herself) if she was doing it in the dark. "Dunno. Guess I'd probably ask Jim and Danny if I could hang around the Oblivion Bar. It's my scene and all, but uh... don't really think it's ever been a viable option for an occupation." Ever.


B. GRYFFINDOR - DEBATE WHETHER HARRY SHOULD ULTIMATELY END UP MARRIED TO FRED OR GEORGE. USE EXAMPLES FROM A VARIETY OF WORLD MYTHOLOGIES TO BOLSTER YOUR ARGUMENT.
Remember that expression that she gave as a response for the second question? It's back. "Here's the thing, a person should marry whoever it is that they want to marry. That's that. I also think that if someone is having trouble deciding who to marry, that they should probably take a step back and reevaluate themselves and who and what makes them happy." And probably apologize for sleazing around, while they're at it.


C. RAVENCLAW - YOU GUYS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SMART. EXPLAIN WHY MY DESK IS INUNDATED WITH PAPERWORK AT ALL TIMES, EVEN THOUGH I'M CONSTANTLY DISPOSING OF IT.
Zatanna is now picking at the fingers of her gloves. She isn't particularly happy with the fact that she's being uncharacteristically rude and inconsiderate (if not short in her responses), but the questions appear all meaningless and random, if not confusing or meant to confuse. "I would suggest filling it out, rather than disposing of it."


D. Hufflepuff – PROVE YOU ARE NOT USELESS.
"Listen, you--" Her fingers ball into a fist and she grits her teeth, "listen. I'm not useless, nor do I have to prove it to you." She allows herself to calm down. She's right. She didn't have to prove it to anyone but herself, so why take such offense to that statement?


6. OFFER A BRIBE TO THE MEMBERS OF THIS COMMUNITY SO THAT THEY WILL NOT SQUIB YOU. ITEMS USED IN BRIBERY DO NOT NECESSARILY HAVE TO BELONG TO THE PERSON OFFERING THE BRIBE. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
As she leans forward long, dark hair curtains around the sides of her face. "Everyone wants something different, you know." She finally uncrosses her legs as she gets to her feet, the light click of her heels hitting the floor as she does so. "I figure whatever a 'squib,' is, I don't want it. A bribe implies a bargain -- you tell me what you want and I'll tell you if I can give it to you." As an afterthought, she adds: "And keep it PG!" The first person to assume she's anything other than a magician was in for a very nasty surprise.



"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. - ZZ
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. - ZZ
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. - ZZ
One day, marmalade will rule the world. - ZZ"




OOC NOTE: Zatanna is taken from the immediate ending of Blackest Night and is still under the assumption that Bruce is dead. I've read 97% of her near-sixty year history, so if you have any questions, feel free to ask away.

Comments

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

"You do realize that they're hypothetical questions, don't you?" Not being able to remember his own Sorting made it much easier for the Master to be flippant about the process. ""You're not actually going to be expected to open a bar or resolve romantic triangles. Open-ended bribes are never a good idea, though. Even if no one uses it to put you into an awkward position, you come off uncreative."

[hexappeal]

"Maybe in this universe. Different dimensions work differently. I've been tossed into different places before and asked strange questions." Sometimes that her life depended on, one way or another.

"Uncreative?" She gives a little shrug. "Fine. I'll give you--" She pulls that top hat of hers off again, rather than say it backwards, and digs around, taking out one of those little toy dogs that yip a few times, do a backflip, yip a few times, do a backflip, and so on and so forth -- and hands it to him. "This. You can name him whatever you want, but I was going with Fluffy. You look like the kinda guy that would name a dog Fluffy, by the way." Way to let your mouth run, Zee.

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

"I do?" Just when he thought there were no new accusations that could be leveled at him. "Never thought about it, actually. There's nothing really symbolic or evocative about 'Fluffy', though. Not even any wordplay."

[hexappeal]

"A little, yeah. Anyway, that's what makes a name like that special. No thought put into it, no meaning other than the obvious." Well, maybe if it had been a real dog and had real fur. In this case, it was just a poor imitation of the animal. A mockery, even. "It's a toy dog, not your firstborn child." She'd hope that he wouldn't want to name his firstborn Fluffy. That would just be setting up a kid for years of misery, even if it would prepare him or her for the years of the inevitable suffering that would follow into adulthood.

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

"Now, that's a bit more of what these little interviews are for. We're supposed to be taking your measure, Miss Zatanna Zatara Not Signing Autographs Today. I can't blame you for that part, by the way. Signings are so tedious." He flashed her a quick grin, all surface charm and no warmth. "Used to alternate dimensions, are you?"

[hexappeal]

"You can't measure someone's anything in just an interview. At least I'm not spouting how I'm good at chit-chat and can lift over 20 pounds." Haha, minimum wage job humor. Dry, at that. "You can just call me Zatanna. Play your cards right, you can call me Zee... maybe even if you play them wrong." Hurr hurr, man, she's smooth as silk, ain't she? The problem isn't that, even. It's that she obviously knows that she is. "Nn, yeah. Deal with them in my work all the time. Sometimes as a hobby, as well. Nothing like vacationing in place where only a handful of people can find you, you know?" Not that she was bothered often. When the mage was, it was more often welcome than not, even.

"So. You going to offer a name or do you get to ask all the questions here?"

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

"I could give you any of a number of names, but I'm not working with an alias just now. 'Master' will do nicely." His open appraisal was far too calculating to be dismissed as lustful. The Master was familiar with the theories of alternate dimensions, but it had never been a serious field of study for him, and he was feeling the lack. "And the only questions you'll find yourself compelled to answer are the Hat's. People like me, well... this place is teeming with potential allies and enemies."

[hexappeal]

"Master, huh." And here this was the guy complaining about fluffy. "Master of?" He looked like a lawyer. Or knife salesman. People had odd hobbies, though. He could be a crochet master or an alligator wrangler... master.

Zatanna listens carefully, crossing an arm over her chest, gesturing a little with the other. "Got enough enemies and I'm pretty set in the game of 'allies'." Justice League. Justice Society. On any given day she could find twenty or thirty people to stand her ground with, if not more. "You are, of course, more than welcome to have a different agenda. Whatever floats your boat."

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

"Oh, just 'Master' will have to suffice," he said with mock-modesty. "I'm between empires at the moment."

Confident, or cocky? Rebuffing potential allies wasn't the move of a cautious woman.

[hexappeal]

"Fine. Sounds strange that way, though." She would be lying if she said her name didn't always sound strange, however. She'd joked that her name sounded like something you'd send back at a nice Italian restaurant, even. "Cute."

Zee usually went it alone. It's what kept her (and the people around her) alive. That was the price of magic, after all. You get to close to the flame, it burns you... and you don't always have the option to pull away before everything is turned to ash.

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

She was playing up being cocky, he thought. Whether or not she knew how to keep from getting in over her head wasn't her concern.

"I'm pretty good at cute," he told her. "Voters like cute these days."

[hexappeal]

She was a little. But that was showbiz, wasn't it? And showbiz translated to life, if you wanted to keep people at an arm's length. For all that she enjoyed company, there was no one better at isolating herself than Zatanna was.

"Some do. But most prefer someone that speaks to them on their level, the issues that are important to them, and appears trustworthy. Of course, that is just my opinion. I imagine some people do vote on who is.. 'cutest'." Some people? More like some idiots.

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

"You say it like those are mutually exclusive." He locked eyes with her, not actively attempting any sort of mesmerism but letting the charisma that was its precursor rise in him. "The voters want someone they think understands them. Someone who hates what they hate. Someone who will protect what they value. And at this point in this planet's history, some very strident cultures would rather trust someone they can have a beer with than someone who's studied the great historical generals and the latest technology."

[hexappeal]

"Some people." She raises an eyebrow. Your Jedi Mind Tricks don't work on Homo Magi, my friend. Eseht era ton eht sdiord uoy era gnikool rof. "I'm not some people, you see."

A beat, as she begins to pace about. "Anyway, don't you know better than to bring up politics or religion in polite conversation?"

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

"But this is a rather political conversation. Your measure is being taken, and not just by me. No matter how politely we go about it, you're being judged and quantified."

[hexappeal]

"I'm not particularly concerned with that. I might be stuck here for now, but I'll leave eventually -- by force or choice. And even then, an immediate concern is adaptation and survival, not so much if someone thinks I'm worthy of this or that." Though what other people thought would be half the battle at this point, wouldn't it? If people thought poorly of you, you'd be stuck in a bad place. Adaptation would become more difficult.

Vote: Gryffindor

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

"You have enough allies. You're not concerned with what allegiances you might be able to make here." His eyes glinted merrily, as if he were recounting the cleverest twist in a favorite comedy. "Another one for the more guts than sense file."

[hexappeal]

"...thanks. I think?" Still a tad confused about the goings-on, she shoots him a half-amused glance. "Good to know a single conversation is enough to make the whole of my personality evident, though." And here she thought she was a complicated creature.

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

"Oh, you don't need to get so exercised about it," he said, stifling a yawn. "It's not like it can keep you from getting insurance. It's just to decide your dormitory assignment, and half the people here ignore those anyway."

[hexappeal]

"More mildly annoyed, but whatever." Whatever, indeed. She was talking to a guy who reminded her strongly of someone that she couldn't quite put her finger on and was named Master (and frankly she'd rather refer to him as 'you,' or 'that guy,' or 'hey,' than that). "And which are you, then?"

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

"Oh, I'm in Slytherin." He laughed warmly. "Where else would a politican go?"

[hexappeal]

"Well, considering Slytherin's the first I've heard..." She'd probably be laughing, if she got the joke. Pity she doesn't keep up on those popular trends in young adult fiction...

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

"It's simple. The houses are intended to be grouped by character traits. Gryffindor for courage, Hufflepuff for determination, Ravenclaw for intellect, Slytherin for ambition. That's the nutshell version, of course, but it's fairly arbitrary in practice."

[hexappeal]

"Well, yeah, considering just about everyone is one of those things at some point. No one is consistently only one of them." Especially since determination and ambition could easily be interchanged and all of them worked hand-in-hand. Not that it was something she was particularly concerned about at the moment. She was more concerned about if she'd ever be let out of this damn room...