Jaime Lannister - A Song of Ice and Fire

[jaime-lackhand.livejournal.com]

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Cheese is cheese. My sweet sister, Cersei might dispute that, as might the Imp, but I care not for what they think. After all, one's a whore, the other's a kinslayer. I'll let you decide who is who.

Upon reflection, it does occur to me that my siblings are just as fucked up as I am. That's somewhat comforting.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
I know not these names. At the moment, I doubt myself able to kill either. Though should they cross me, they shall see what manner of skill still avails me.

And everyone can watch as the Kingslayer gets beaten around by a purple dragon. That should make them laugh

3. What time is it where you are?
Gods know. I do not remember when last I slept.

And no, this has nothing to do with my sister.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
No true knight would force himself upon another. Not that I have been a true knight for a long time now, but still, I retain that much dignity. And shit for honour, but I've had that for years now.

On the other hand, I don't kill kin. Except by burning letters

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
The Lion's Pride. Dark, dank and falling apart, I think this would be an excellent jest. Although the Imp would probably be more at home in such a place. Fucking the staff at every opportunity, I would guess. I'm certain many men would thank him for his kind dedication to bettering the skills of the whores. Perhaps I'll send him a present.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
Ha. I offer no such proof, save for the fact that I still retain some small amount of my wits. Even without my hand, I suppose I may be good for something. Like fucking that whore of a sister

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Bribery? I suppose there is gold should you want that. Or my oath, should you want that. It's worth little, but a Lannister always pays his debts.

Or there's the armies of Westeros. Or my sister. She's fucked Lancel, and Kettleblack, and Moon Boy for all I know. She'll probably do the same for you.


"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. JL
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. JL.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. That's what Cersei's are for. JL.
One day, chaos, no, Cersei, wait same thing marmalade will rule the world. JL"

OOC: Tyrion-mun did know I was apping. We plotted before hand, a little.

Comments

[doctordweeb.livejournal.com]

You sound like you've got some serious issues with your sister.

[jaime-lackhand.livejournal.com]

"What a marvellous deduction ser. However did you work it out? A genius like you must be highly in demand for solving crimes and the like." The sarcasm is probably obvious by this point.

[doctordweeb.livejournal.com]

Okay, somebody's touchy. Do you mind if I ask just where these 'issues' come from?

[jaime-lackhand.livejournal.com]

"The fact that she's utterly devoid of anything resembling sanity, might have something to do with it."

[doctordweeb.livejournal.com]

...Yeah, that would do it; I've run into more than enough people whose sanity seems to have gone on permanent vacation. Do you have a particular House preference?