Application for Georgia Lass/ Dead Like Me

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite? Processed Cheddar. It's like me...it exists, but not as we know it should. Seriously, I like Mozzarella.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Much to the chagrin of my little reaper heart, Barney isn't real. On the other hand, Carrottop is. The problem is, to reap him, I have to touch the little freak.

3. What time is it where you are?

It's about eight. Eating dinner because there's nothing good on TV until nine.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

Sexual Harassment is more Mason's thing than mine. Or Daisy's. Roxy would kick my ass if I tried something like that. She may only be a traffic cop, but she takes her job seriously. Both of them. I suppose if you're going to force me to choose, I'd pick one of the twins. Either one, doesn't really matter. They're interchangeable for the most part, aren't they?

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

Murphy's Law. All the bouncers would be reapers. If you make trouble, they can take your souls. I probablywouldn't bartend though. I would end up pitching shot glasses at all the people who make me mad.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

Harry should marry whichever one I'm not currently sexually harassing.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

Use Post-its. That's what Rube does. He has shitloads of paperwork, and all he does is just write out our tasks on a post-it note, and a-reaping we all go.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

Well, I reap souls. That's pretty useful. A soul cannot leave its body without being reaped. If the Reaper doesn't take it, it is trapped in a corpse, completely aware. This is as horrific as it sounds, especially when the deceased goes through an autopsy. So, if I'm late, that's BAD. Like really bad. I'd say that reaping souls serves a useful purpose in the world.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.

Being Squibbed sounds like it sucks. Almost as much as being killed by a Zero-G toilet seat from a decommissioned space station falling through the stratosphere and striking you down dead. However, I make an excellent secretary. If you Ravenclaws are having trouble with that paperwork, I'm sure I can give you a hand. I'm also extremely tolerant of psychotic quirky people. If you haven't got any paperwork, I make a pretty good drinking buddy, and I'm told I'm pretty funny if you think sarcasm is funny.

Comments

[herbigbrowneyes.livejournal.com]

Millie?

What are you talking about, you "reap people's souls"? I really think that's a bit too grim a joke, especially for an application.

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

Hahaha...yeah. It's a joke. Don't worry...I'm totally kidding. I'm not here to reap souls, I'm here to take care of their pesky paperwork problem. See, I put it in the bribe!

[5000yearold.livejournal.com]

Your application bores me and I don't need a secretary.

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

Hey, you try and be funny when you were killed by a toilet seat. Next time, Squib me with a Toilet Seat. It will be funnier.

[the-black-sails.livejournal.com]

[[*squee* I loved that show.]]

...Hm. Hufflepuff, I think. Where do you take the souls when you reap them?

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

To the afterlife. But don't tell my boss. I'm not really supposed to talk about it. I mean...where else would I take them?

[mightymorfin.livejournal.com]

Hi! I'm Morfin and I'm a Hufflepuff!

Are you friends with that other lady already? *points to Delores* She looks like she recognizes you!

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

Yeah...Delores is my boss at Happy Time. She let me stay with her once. It was...um...fun.

[damien-thorn.livejournal.com]

Let's see what a hell beast can do to the already deceased.

(http://photobucket.com)

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

Hey, already dead, thanks! Don't need any help!

[perpetual-smile.livejournal.com]

Your job description sounds awfully similar to one I'm familiar with. I don't suppose you are affiliated with Soul Society or the Gotei 13 at all?

Maybe this explains why everyone in Soul Society seems to be Japanese.

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

We might have affiliate branches elsewhere. I mean, I only get one Reap a day. Way more people than that die every day all over the world. I guess if you're living it's a scary thought, but there's a ton of us I guess. So, what do you call yourself? I'm George, by the way. Or Millie. Depending on whether or not you ask my friends or my boss Delores.

[thranduils-son.livejournal.com]

((You ought to tag this with "application". ;) ))


You sound... interesting. Do you enjoy your work? Do you plan to continue doing it from Hogwarts? No one can die here, I'm told.

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

I kinda do enjoy my work, actually. Knowing that I make a difference on how people enter the afterlife is cool. Especially knowing what can happen when a soul doesn't get reaped in time. Hanging around in your body during an autopsy is probably pretty scary. As for reaping here...nope! I'm on holidays.

[notasmackhead.livejournal.com]

Well... you seem pretty cool. I mean, considering you've got a pretty bloody heavy job.

Where'd you want to go?

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

Well, I heard Ravenclaw has a bar, but Hufflepuff seems okay. Especially since Delores hasn't managed to wire the place with cameras yet.

[sensiblesusan.livejournal.com]

I had a job very similar to yours, at one point. When I was about your age, in fact. Different circumstances, however; I didn't have to die, and then my grandfather came back to work.

I'd be inclined to sort you into Hufflepuff, I think.

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

Thanks. People seem to think I'm a Hufflepuff kinda gal. I guess it can't be all that bad...that Gin guy seems okay.

[nannynutter.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. Interesting. I have several prophecies regarding the reapers you know. Oh? I'll forget my own head next. I'm Agnes Nutter, pleased to meet you dear.

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

I'm Georgia Lass. Friends call me George, Delores calls me 'Millie'. It's a long story. As for those prohpecies, I'd love to hear them. We should get together after I'm sorted.

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

Thanks. So, is it an open bar? And If I get into Hufflepuff can I still drink myself under the table there?

[rukia-chan.livejournal.com]

...Another shinigami? I don't think I've met you before, though.

You seem like a nice girl. Hufflepuff would suit you.

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

A shiny-whatsit? Are you friends with Gin?

[cassbatchick.livejournal.com]

Well, reaping people's souls seems useful, but I'm not sure what Murphy's Law is. Who is Murphy, and why does he get his own law?

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

Society's Laws punish the bad people. Murphy's Law punishes the good ones. I'm not really sure who he is either, but his Laws suck.

[anthony-crowley.livejournal.com]

Well, you're drawing the attention of some rather... interesting people. You must be rather tolerant. You'd best to go Hufflepuff then, I guess. Which is a real shame since I think you'd do well in Slytherin, and Adam knows we need more people in there with a sense of humour.

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

Well, I did list 'tolerant of quirky people' as one of my skills. Seriously, after living with Daisy and hanging out with Rube, people in general are getting easier to tolerate. Of course, sarcasm is a nice personal defense mechanism, too. Are you sure you don't want me in Slytherin?

[state-servant.livejournal.com]

Well, I do need a secretary. You seem like a very smart young woman Ms. Lass.

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I didn't catch your name though, Sir.

[dsv-brainiac.livejournal.com]

Uh, hi. I'm Lucas. What did you do before you were a Reaper?

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

I was a college student. General studies kind of thing. I wasn't really sure where I wanted to go in life. Turns out it didn't matter. I know what I'm doing for the rest of my death though. Reaping's not so bad. Most of the people are pretty nice.

[kisukeurahara.livejournal.com]

Ohoho, you must be one of those Americanised shinigami rip-offs I've heard so much about! How nice to finally meet one! Tell me, how would you feel about being a test subject?

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

There's that Shiny-whatsit word again. Seriously, is someone going to define that for me or what?

As for being a test subject, if it involves eating things or injecting things or horrible screaming pain, I think I'll opt out, thanks.

[catremistrae.livejournal.com]

It seems you've already met some of our more interesting denizens. ANy questions so far?

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

Only about the application itself. Why is the Slytherin question about a bar, but the Ravenclaws have the on campus bar? Sorry, this questions really bugging me...

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

From your answers, I'd guess the Ravenclaw would probably find you very useful.

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

Really? Thanks. I've been leaning towards Ravenclaw or Slytherin when people have asked me.

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Can JD come to the Ravenclaw bar with us, as well? I'm sure he wouldn't like it if I left him alone.

Your bribe has been accepted.

Welcome to Ravenclaw!

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

Thanks! JD's all yours, and I'm sure he drinks beer. Actually, Mason gave him beer once...I think he liked it.

We'll go out drinking and have much shenanigans. See you then, Hat!