Application for Georgia Lass/ Dead Like Me

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite? Processed Cheddar. It's like me...it exists, but not as we know it should. Seriously, I like Mozzarella.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Much to the chagrin of my little reaper heart, Barney isn't real. On the other hand, Carrottop is. The problem is, to reap him, I have to touch the little freak.

3. What time is it where you are?

It's about eight. Eating dinner because there's nothing good on TV until nine.

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

Sexual Harassment is more Mason's thing than mine. Or Daisy's. Roxy would kick my ass if I tried something like that. She may only be a traffic cop, but she takes her job seriously. Both of them. I suppose if you're going to force me to choose, I'd pick one of the twins. Either one, doesn't really matter. They're interchangeable for the most part, aren't they?

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

Murphy's Law. All the bouncers would be reapers. If you make trouble, they can take your souls. I probablywouldn't bartend though. I would end up pitching shot glasses at all the people who make me mad.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

Harry should marry whichever one I'm not currently sexually harassing.

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

Use Post-its. That's what Rube does. He has shitloads of paperwork, and all he does is just write out our tasks on a post-it note, and a-reaping we all go.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

Well, I reap souls. That's pretty useful. A soul cannot leave its body without being reaped. If the Reaper doesn't take it, it is trapped in a corpse, completely aware. This is as horrific as it sounds, especially when the deceased goes through an autopsy. So, if I'm late, that's BAD. Like really bad. I'd say that reaping souls serves a useful purpose in the world.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.

Being Squibbed sounds like it sucks. Almost as much as being killed by a Zero-G toilet seat from a decommissioned space station falling through the stratosphere and striking you down dead. However, I make an excellent secretary. If you Ravenclaws are having trouble with that paperwork, I'm sure I can give you a hand. I'm also extremely tolerant of psychotic quirky people. If you haven't got any paperwork, I make a pretty good drinking buddy, and I'm told I'm pretty funny if you think sarcasm is funny.

Comments

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

From your answers, I'd guess the Ravenclaw would probably find you very useful.

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

Really? Thanks. I've been leaning towards Ravenclaw or Slytherin when people have asked me.

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear! I'm afraid you've misunderstood me. I meant that I believe the Ravenclaws would find you a perfect Hufflepuff, as you've explained to them how very useful you can be. But you would rather be in Slytherin or Ravenclaw than Hufflepuff? I can't imagine why. You're hard-working, and a very attractive young lady, and I've placed many an attractive young lady in Hufflepuff.

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

At first, I thought I would be fine with hufflepuff, but I've been meeting some of the people and they're a little bit strange. Well, I mean, we're all strange here, but they're a strange that I couldn't achieve without heavy use of psychotropic drugs or copious amounts of sugar. Having spoken with a number of people, I almost feel like I could be happier and more useful in a place like Ravenclaw or Slytherin. People seem to be more my speed in those places.

But I shall bow to the Hat's whims in all things, of course.

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

I think the psychotropic drugs are unnecessary, as you'll be plenty strange if you stay here long enough, but they can certainly be arranged! Well, if you feel that strongly about it, I'll consider your bribe more carefully and possibly place you in one of those two Houses. I wouldn't mind having a drinking buddy if you'd be willing to get me into the Ravenclaw bar from time to time. Do you consider yourself very smart?

[mir-george.livejournal.com]

Smart, or a Smart-ass?

I'd be happy to take you into the bar for a few drinks. Although, I did hear that you've recently lost a companion.

I have this dog I really couldn't keep. His name is JD, and he's a really good dog. Maybe if your person doesn't mind, you could take him.

I guess I consider myself smart. I'm not a brilliant physicist or a doctor or anything, but I'm not stupid.

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Either works in that House, and some of them are both.

Well, then, we'll plan a night on the town once you're sorted. *looks very sad* My little friend was turned into a popcorn kernal. He's upstairs in the popcorn room, now. He used to play with me and mess with peoplemake jokes at sortings.

*claps its straps* A dog! Yes, I'd be happy to take care of the doggie. My person? Oh, I suppose you mean Godric, my owner. He'd better not mind! He doesn't live inside me anymore, so I don't see why it'd be his concern whether or not I had a doggie friend. He makes a very nice bribe, miss.

I think I can see a way to consider you Ravenclaw material, after all!