hh_mirror | Setting up your razor-wire shrine (Closed RP: River and Stephen Maturin)

River was silent as she led Stephen into their bedroom, not looking at him. "Get undressed and lie down on the bed." Her voice was empty of everything but the words. She ignored him and went to get the barbed wire--- this time remembering to set the ward on it, the same one that they used on the scalpel.

((OOC: Angst. Blood-play. Bondage. Punishment. Barbed wire....

... in other words, business as usual. R+ for all of the above.))

Current Mood: predatory

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

r-tam.livejournal.com

"I promise." It took no thought whatsoever--- hadn't she stayed just now, when he'd wanted to lock her up? All she'd been able to think was, How do I make him stop wanting this?--- not, How do I get away? "Told you so. Even if you might... end up wishing I had left. But I'm not going anywhere. Not now, not ever." She started to reach her hand to his collarbone--- stopped, and drew his hand down to the scar on her hip instead.

From:

estebanmd.livejournal.com

Mine. The concept was bound up in things she would like and things she would not like: where was the line between feeling possessive of someone, and viewing that someone as a possession?

From:

r-tam.livejournal.com

She nodded at him. "That's... a good question. Maybe... the question. For us, anyway. Or one of them. Because... I can't help but see you as you, in my head... but I still want to own you. And I don't mind if you own me, as long as I have you just as much in return. Quid pro quo. Dong ma?"

From:

estebanmd.livejournal.com

He wanted her to own him, though. Not just a question of not minding it. And he wanted to hear her tell him why and how she wanted to own him, because that would mean he was worth owning.

From:

r-tam.livejournal.com

She drew up short at that. "What--- oh." She pressed herself down on top of him, holding him, winding arms and legs about him, getting as close against him as she could. He was worth owning, that was a given in her world, and she wondered how she could possibly make him see that.

"Why do I want to own you?" she whispered. "Because you make me feel good--- better than I ever thought I could feel, especially after the Academy. Because your mind--- it's fascinating, it's all whispers and shadows and I could listen to you think for... forever, and never come to the end of the permutations, I think. Because of the way you look at me, because I don't ever want you looking at anyone else that way, and I want you to look at me that way all the time; I could just... soak in it, like it was sunlight. Because I want your hands on me; they're so skilled and they feel so good on my skin, but I could just watch you use them for... forever. Because you frustrate me and you fascinate me and you want me to own you but there's some... things... in you that I never will, things I can't break or change... and... I respect that and I like that... except that I also like trying to... break it. Make you give in, even though I know you won't, ever. It's like the Riemann hypothesis (http://primes.utm.edu/notes/rh.html). It's a challenge, and you don't expect to make it happen, so you can just... let yourself go." She hugged him. "I don't even know how to say why I want you, because it seems so obvious to me that I would want you, when you see me the way you do, when you give me anything I want and some things I don't even know enough to ask for, when you spoil me so totally and love me so much and I know there's not another man in the world who'd let me... own him... so completely. And I want that, so much; I want that gift from you. Because you wouldn't give it to just anyone and it means so much that you trust me--- that I'm not... a liability, that I'm someone you can put in charge and trust to take care of you.

"How I want to own you?" She laughed. "Every way there is. But I'd start with this---" reaching between his legs, stroking--- "put a ring in you... and maybe one around you---" circling him with her thumb and forefinger--- "so that you couldn't respond to anyone but me, ever, so you could only respond when I wanted you to, only for me. Wouldn't stop there, but I'd start there."

From:

estebanmd.livejournal.com

It was so good to hear her say these things. (Diana would never have said anything of the sort, for one. ... He needed to shake the habit of automatic comparison to Diana.) There was not even a response he could put into words. He simply basked in it, and felt very fortunate indeed.

As to the rings -- the piercing, and the device they had spoken of before -- he would consent to either of them, or both, though the latter did somewhat disconcert him. And she said she wouldn't stop there. "You are very inventive," he said. It was a compliment but also a statement of fact.

From:

r-tam.livejournal.com

"Yes, you do," she said firmly, in answer to his thought about Diana. "Because I'm not her."

She stroked him gently, fingers moving along his length. "Don't worry," she whispered, "I'd let you respond... a lot. As often as I want you. Which is... all the time, or almost, anyway. And I said I'd only start there." A last caress, then her hand slipped up his body, along his chest to his shoulder and then down his arm, claiming one of his hands in hers. "I love your hands," she said softly. "Surgeon's hands--- I know how important they are to you... your work." She kissed his knuckles. "I'd like---" she broke off, the playfulness going away. "I know they... hurt you. Hurt your hands. It's like a dancer hurting her feet--- that's bad. I wouldn't want to hurt them, ever. But I'd like to... mark them. As mine." To mark the means by which he practiced his profession--- his art--- as hers... oh, yes. That appealed.

From:

estebanmd.livejournal.com

"It is more difficult than I can explain," he said in answer to the first. He had loved Diana for so many years ... love had become practically synonymous with Diana, which meant that it had also become synonymous with pain.

To the suggestion that she mark his hands in some way, he nodded. "Provided you do not impede their function, you may do what you like, just as you may with the rest of me."

From:

r-tam.livejournal.com

She shivered at his thought, tucking her free arm more closely around him. "I won't hurt you that way. Promise." She hugged him, and thought that was maybe why he didn't mind indulging her violent streak: his first wife had hurt him in other ways, worse ones.

She brought his hand to her mouth again, tracing the old injuries with her lips, her tongue, his submission to her stealing her breath. "You give me so much," she whispered. "I couldn't not value it... value you... even if... she... didn't. It's... precious... to me the way you... surrender. There isn't a single thing I could want more." Even wanting his body was just a subset of this, after all: the deeper and more elemental desire for him to give himself to her in every respect, the desire to lay claim to him.

From:

estebanmd.livejournal.com

"I think that is what I always wanted," he said. It made sense for someone who wanted that, wanted to give themselves completely up to another, to pursue someone like Diana; it was fortunate that in River he had found someone who felt a corresponding responsibility in accepting his surrender. He did, at this moment, believe it, that she would take care of him. Whether this fragile belief would survive his next bout of raging jealousy was another question, but for now, he was very happy.

From:

r-tam.livejournal.com

"You chased her," River said, answering his thought. "But you got me." She cuddled up against him, her arms going around him. "It's the most remarkable thing I could imagine, having this from you. I just hope I... live up to it. That's what I want. To... take care of you. Keep you. For mine."

From:

estebanmd.livejournal.com

"I think we are getting better at this," he said. "When we came back here from the secrets board, I thought for certain there was no way things would be this well between us for a good while again."