::Flying RP, Semi-Open::

[waste-lock.livejournal.com]

Flying was becoming a familiar, comforting thing.

Actually trying to practice, though... that was less comfortable. But there was definitely something satisfying, Nny reflected, about hitting bludgers through the air, looping around as they swung back towards them, and smacking them away again.

Comments

[lp-drumline7.livejournal.com]

"I've never used either," Devi said quietly, shivering slightly with the... almost anticipation to do so. "I don't very much like guns... They're good for some people, but I've never liked the lack of intim...of... I don't know." She glanced up, sheepish smile on her face. "What kind of dancing are we talking about here...?"

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

River grinned. "Paul Atreides has a dueling club here that I've been to--- woudl you like to come sometime? It's just... practice, you know, not anything... serious.

"I hadn't thought about it that way--- with guns, I mean. It's got its own artistry--- calculation, angles, vectors, movement through space. But you're right; it's not as... intimate."

She blushed. "Oh. Sorry. I know that confuses people sometimes. Dancing... well, in this case, I meant the sort with sharp objects and bloodletting. But I was a dancer--- I mean, the other kind--- before I went to the Academy, and it's sort of the same thing for me, if that makes sense."

[lp-drumline7.livejournal.com]

"A dueling club? Really." Devi cocked her head slightly. "I didn't even know that existed. It seems interesting... Could be fun?" She offered a tiny smile, tilting her head back as she contemplated the guns.

"And I've never really thought of that. Guns have always just been the video game version for me. It's... It's odd. It seems almost the careless tool, like if you miss, it wouldn't be important because you're far enough away with the thing. The math and science to it normally isn't considered (I certainly never did)."

She paused a second and twisted her fingers. "You just weren't specific," she reasoned timidly, shrugging. "I know what you mean... they are similar, in a sense. The rush, the 'high', as it were, from doing the two. You can really lose yourself in them." She gazed off for a minute, subconsciously rubbing her leg. "It's an escape. From things you don't want to deal with at the moment."

Aww... was that a reference to me? I'm flattered, Devi. Really.

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

"It was fun, the first time, even though we didn't actually do any dueling--- well, fencing, really. Paul and Holden started dancing--- not the violent kind--- and it was just... fun. Not so much the second time, though--- the captain showed up and got awfully upset when I told him about Stephen and me. But you'd be welcome to come to the next one, if you wanted."

She laughed a little. "The first time I fired a gun--- well, of my own volition, at least--- it was definitely important not to miss. It gets more important when the other people have guns and they're shooting back, as a general rule.

"And it's okay... I know I confuse people sometimes. But you're right. It's a good escape--- sometimes, just from yourself, even."

She cocked her head as she heard the second voice in Devi's head, tensing. "Who's that?" she asked warily, thinking about what Nny had told her about not always being in charge of his own mind or body.

[lp-drumline7.livejournal.com]

"Well... as long as... the captain doesn't show up," she reasoned, smiling. She wasn't quite sure who the captain was. "It should be fun. Fun is something that's rare to be had," she added lightly.

She looked slightly surprised as River talked about the shooting. "You had people shooting at you? Why?"

There was a pause and she automatically looked down at her dangling feet. "Escape from yourself... exactly." She tensed heavily at River's question, glancing up again and furrowing her eyebrows. "Who's wh..." Her eyes shut for a few long seconds as she thought of Nny, mentioning that she could read minds in a sense. She awkwardly rubbed her arm.

"You mean... here?" she asked timidly, tapping the side of her head.

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

"Fun is important. There should be more of it," River agreed.

"I think the captain was in some kind of trouble--- nobody really told me the details. I just knew they were shooting at Kaylee--- she's my friend--- and she couldn't shoot back--- she was so scared, and someone had to do something so I did.

"I'm sorry--- I... pick up things... that aren't mine. I mean, thoughts--- I'm not a kleptomaniac." She giggled a little, then sobered. "That's what I meant." She tapped her own head by way of explanation.

[lp-drumline7.livejournal.com]

Kaylee, Devi remembered. She was a very sweet person, and she smiled a little. "So you saved her with math. That's a new one for people," she said slightly bemusedly, smiling.

It shortly faded again at the aforemention of Sickness. She leaned back a little, gripping her broom and sighing. This... SHOULDN'T bother you too much... I mean, you are friends with Nny... but it's... Sickness. She's... a voice. In my head. It belongs to a doll I painted once, for me. It's kind of hard to explain."

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, most of the crew found it a little... odd... at the time," River said with a wry smile.

Hers faded as well at Devi's answer. "It doesn't bother me," she said quickly, "except if it bothers you." She reached out. "It does, doesn't it? She does."

[lp-drumline7.livejournal.com]

"Are you sure they weren't just jealous? I mean, that kind of skill is amazing..."

She trailed off, shifting slightly uncomfortably to the weight of this conversation. "She does, yeah, I suppose. I-I mean..." Her hands were shaking, slightly angrily, and she gripped the broom harder to hide it. "She's just... she's always trying to control me. To tell me to do things. It grates on you. After a while, anyway."

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

"I think it was more... scared... than anything. Scared I'd go off. Scared I was a weapon, not a person." She shivered slightly, rubbing her arms.

"I... know what you mean. About... how it grates on you, when something in your head makes you do things you wouldn't, and you don't know when it'll happen. I had... a problem with that too, for a while. Even if I don't think the triggers... work... any more. And I can throw the switch myself now."

[lp-drumline7.livejournal.com]

"Oh..." Devi nodded tentatively at the notion, frowning. "I can imagine... Something like that, out of nowhere..."

She gave a weak smile and rubbed the back of her head, sighing lightly. "I don't have a trigger. At least not a working one. ... I wish I could figure one out, but the more I try to shut her out..." She heard a soft snicker and shut her eyes. "The stronger she seems to get."

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

River nodded. "Exactly... it... surprised them."

River listened to the rest. "Have you tried... not ignoring her? Not... doing what she wants, but... not shutting her out, either? I know yours is different, but the way I got control of the... triggers... they put in me was to pay attention, so that I knew what it felt like, and where they had put... things. So I knew when it was me and when it was... the Academy, the Alliance, with their codes."

[lp-drumline7.livejournal.com]

Devi looked up slightly sharply, almost completely forgetting the first part of their conversation as her eyes widened. "She wants me to give into her completely so we can hurt people. She wants me to eliminate Johnny, because, apparently, he's a 'threat' to 'us'. She wants me to be a ... a fucking killing machine," she spewed in a horribly shaky voice, her hands tightening into hard fists around two strands of her hair. She felt bad for snapping at River like this... but... It was just... She shook her head and let out a long breath. "I can't... just... give in..."

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

"That's what they wanted from me, too," River said simply; the part about Nny did shock her, but the rest was far too familiar--- too familiar, certainly, to be upsetting. "Turn me into a weapon, go off on command. And I made it so they couldn't--- but I had to... see what they were doing first. Take it apart so I could put it back together my way--- so they couldn't ever use me again, but I could use... what they did to me. For myself. For my friends." In a less bleak tone, she added, "I don't know if you can do it with... her. The one in your mind. Maybe it's not... safe... for you to try. And I'm not ever saying that you should do anything she wants, not at all. But I know it's useful to... know your enemy. That's... I think that's probably why the Alliance... wanted to... create... me." That was a piece of the puzzle she'd never... quite... fitted together before--- but why else create a telepathic assassin? "Because I could... know my enemies." She smiled slightly. "Except I think they never expected me to be able to know that they were the enemy." She looked hard at Devi. "I think the one in your head doesn't... quite... expect it of you either." Her smile was downright conspiratorial.

[lp-drumline7.livejournal.com]

Devi couldn't help but give the tiniest of smiles as she roughly ran her fingers over her chin, debating. "It would be something new. She might not expect it. But... at the same time, if I'm discussing this now, wouldn't she already know?" She frowned again. "I don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore," she added with a weak laugh.

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

River regarded her with deep sympathy. "That... that's harder than escaping from the Academy," she said quietly. "They couldn't... read... me. I had the edge there." Impulsively, she reached out. "If there's... anything I can do, though--- just ask. I don't know what I can do... but I know what it's like--- having someone make you over into what they want and you can't... get away. Even if I did, eventually. Get away, I mean." She paused and added, "My brother's here--- he's the one who helped me... get away. I don't know how... the one in your head... works, but Simon was able to... help me. He's a doctor; he... put some of what they did to me back together."

[lp-drumline7.livejournal.com]

Devi gave another weak smile. "No... offense, River... but I don't think a doctor's going to make much sense of my head..." She sighed again and rubbed her temples. "I don't think it's something so much clinically wrong as..." She paused, trying to think of the right wording. "Something else..."

[r-tam.livejournal.com]

River nodded. "Simon couldn't fix me totally either, and it was doctors who did it to me. I just wondered if he might be able to help, even a little. Every little bit helps, sometimes." She tilted her head. "Nny and I were going to take Occlumency together, once, only the teachers I went to about it are all gone now." She sighed sadly, then perked up. "Actually, your... something wrong almost sounds more like the sort of thing someone here might know about. I don't know, but...." She trailed off hopefully.