Application: Third Doctor (Doctor Who)

[science-advice.livejournal.com]

A blue box gradually appeared, harked by its eerie, otherworldly klaxon… albeit one that wasn’t working as smoothly as it should have, by the sound of it. It flickered as if reluctant to solidify into existence, and the settled on visibility with a violent blink. Even it’s sound shut off rapidly, and there was an ominous bang from the inside. A moment after the door opened and a man exited, bringing with him a puff of smoke. He coughed discreetly and brushed his plum velvet coat and black cape with a brilliant purple satin lining somewhat indignantly, before looking around himself.

“Well, it’s not where I left at least… but where is it then…” he muttered to himself.

It looked like Earth, possibly even England, though not the time period he’d just left (and that was the first time in a while, he had to be getting better at this fixing business)… and yet not quite right. He gave a wide berth to a particularly unpleasant looking hat, and instead went to inspect a table, which seemed to be empty, but perhaps-- the Doctor’s eyebrows rose as a piece of paper and a quill shimmered into existence on the table. Now this was certainly not technology from any of humanity’s older periods. And a school of magic? Probably another embarrassing ploy from the Master, he really had to stop dabbling with this sort of thing. But for now, he might as well go with it.



State your full name.
“Really? I don’t think you could even write it.” he said, and looked on curiously as the quill flew up and scribbled the words on the parchment of it’s own accord. Interesting, he’d have to inspect it closer later. “The Doctor will suffice quite well though...“ he muttered absently, eyes glued onto the device moving over the paper.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
The Doctor’s gaze grew distant and thoughtful. “You know, I think that rather depends on the place and… yes, time. One should always sample local cuisine in situ. Also depends on what sort wine one is able to obtain.” His expression soured. “Lately, I haven’t been as free to travel as I’d like, and the people I work with, what do they know of fine dining… but be that as it may, a while ago I was able to to obtain a piece of passable Beeleigh Blue to go with a rather lovely Pinot Noir I received as a gift during a previous regeneration.”

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
He snorted at the question. “Kill? Why, you’re just like my current employers at the UNIT, always thinking the first solution is to kill… or better yet, blow it all up to high heavens! Typical military. Indeed, I’m sure I’d come up with a better solutions of dealing with these persons, given some actual information about them.”

3. What time is it where you are?
For a moment, the Doctor stared at the parchment with suspiciously narrowed eyes. Was this… was whoever had fashioned this ridiculous set of questions trying to mock his… slightly impaired senses? Eventually he simply straightened up and answered, in a decidedly stiff tone. “Seems to be early afternoon, as far as I can tell.”

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
The Doctor rolled his eyes. What sort of staff or students could this “school” possibly be looking for? “None of them, I should think. It’s a thoroughly barbaric and distasteful thing to do,” he snapped.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

“I’m not even sure I want anything to do with this institution…” the Doctor muttered irritably.

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Bar? Ha. “Bartending, I assure you, is a thorough waste of my skills,” the Doctor told the parchment drily.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
He sighed. “I really don’t see how this is relevant to anyone but these individuals, who I’m not the least bit familiar with...”

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
This, at least, he knew how to answer.
“Perhaps you should aim to get beyond the sort of petty bureaucracy that tends to engender paperwork. I’ve found that has worked splendidly for me.”

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
Again, the Doctor was not very impressed by the question. He looked around himself again, but the surroundings remained empty. Nevetheless, he aimed his reply at the empty space rather than the piece of paper, speaking confidently, as if daring anyone to contradict him.

“As you come to know me, you will find I can be very useful indeed… should I choose to be. And I might warn you, I can also choose who I ought to be useful to.”

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
The Doctor raised an eyebrow at the word “squib.” He wasn’t familiar with that process, but it had an unpleasant sound to it. Nevertheless. “I’m not in the habit of bribing anyone. Paid allies, I should think, would not be very reliable in any case.”

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _Three___
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _Three_.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ____Three____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ____Three__"

Comments

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

Had they really been so young, once upon a time? Would this so much younger version of the Doctor recognize him? Or would he simply think it was just another Time Lord, as if their race wasn't essentially extinct.

"Are you always so snide when making a first impression?"

[science-advice.livejournal.com]

The Doctor whirled around, his cape billowing dramatically with the movement, and surveyd the new person intently. He looked him up and down, and then sniffed.

"First, really? You can't think I'd be fooled by one of your ridiculous disguises, Master." The Doctor said archly.

Really, the man had some nerve. The High Council might have tampered with his memories and even senses, but did the Master really think he wouldn't know it was him? As if the whole setup wasn't exactly his style anyway.

"Nice trap you have here," he added sarcastically. "Very whimsical, though I can't say it seems particularly solid, reality wise."

[theregothedrums.livejournal.com]

Well, wasn't that heartswarming? The Doctor knowing him on sight. Almost romantic.


And he was perfectly happy to let the Doctor think he was responsible for Hogwarts for the time being.

"It is a whimsical sort of place. Reminds me of you sometimes." He grinned, spun, and spread his arms. "What, don't you like the new me?"

[science-advice.livejournal.com]

The Doctor frowned, wondering if he should be insulted over having been called whimsical. Well, perhaps he'd had some whimsical moments, at least in previous regenerations, but it was hardly fair to... wait, new? Now he mentioned it, there was something a bit off about the Master. So, apparently he had had at least one left then...

The Doctor gave him another, more weighing look.

"A bit young, isn't it?" he remarked critically.

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

Rory had heard the TARDIS and come running. There was nothing else in the universe that made a sound like that (and it sounded wrong, like it was struggling... hopefully not about to explode again. Please not that.)

He stood in the doorway of the Sorting Room, blinking in surprise. "Doctor? That - that's you, isn't it?" Stupid question, he knew as he was asking it. Who else would it be? And memories were stirring in the back of his mind. Old ones that weren't even his.

[science-advice.livejournal.com]

Another unfamiliar face, and this time not belonging to anyone the Doctor could recognize right away. Maybe it was someone who'd met him later on in his timeline. That was always a bit awkward.

Still, he straightened his back and adopted a regal pose. "Indeed, I should hope I couldn't be confused with someone else. I'm afraid I cannot return the favour though, Mr...?" he ended the proud declaration on a questioning note.

[thefuturemrpond.livejournal.com]

"Williams. Rory Williams." He answered automatically, before he'd realised the potential problem. "...oh, god, you haven't met me yet. Is that - should I not be here? This isn't going to make the universe blow up again, is it?"

[science-advice.livejournal.com]

The "again" was slightly alarming, but the Doctor didn't want the young man to become more agitated. "I doubt the universe will be too shaken just because of that," he said drily, while absently giving the young man's shoulder a reassuring sort of clap. For some reason he was suddenly reminded of Jo, who hopefully wouldn't be too worried by his sudden disappearance... but surely not, Jo was a resilient sort of girl.

"Though you might want to try to avoid too many details from my future timeline, just in case," he added.

[dc-starscream.livejournal.com]

While rainy weather wasn't unusual for Scotland in July, the last several days had been especially soggy and wretched, in one Cybertronian's opinion. Water posed no real threat to him, despite his being a sentient robotic lifeform -- he was well-suited for the rigours of space travel and planetary exploration, which often involved things more severe than a little H2O precipitation.

He was just tired of being rained on.

And so Starscream trudged across the school grounds and ducked into the Hogwarts castle, looking rather like a 30-something foot tall disgruntled mechanical cat who'd finally been let in out of the cold. A trail of broken craters of stone were left in his wake, a side effect of his prodigious weight which the house elves were familiar with; one of the creatures doggedly followed along after the Cybertronian, using its magic to repair the damage done to the floor.

The area where Sortings took place appeared to be drawing a crowd, which could only mean the castle's magic had abducted another hapless victim for its admission ritual. With nothing better to do, Starscream moved closer in order to observe the fleshling as he submitted himself to the absurd application.

"Previous regeneration. What does that mean?" he asked, his voice a rumbling mechanical growl, the sort that could nearly be felt as much as heard. Then he lowered himself into a crouching position, the better to see the applicant. He was mildly curious despite himself. Fleshlings that were brought to Hogwarts did, on occasion, prove to be either interesting or useful.

[science-advice.livejournal.com]

At first the Doctor thought it was a particularly rhytmic earthquake, but pretty quickly he got wiser for the actual reason for the loud thumps. He observed the giant robot warily, not being prone to judging anyone based on their shape, and yet... he hadn't always been on good terms with the more machanical life forms of the universe.

Assuming this WAS an individual life form and not someone piloting a robot in whatever way. He'd have to find that out, for scientific curiousity if nothing else... once he'd made introductions, of course. Bit rude of them to jump to the personal questions right away, actually.

"Hello, I am the Doctor," the Doctor said pointedly. "Charmed to meet you," he added. "And if you must know, my race has a cabability to change bodies a given number of times if the previous one is too old or injured. This--" he said while brushing a hand over the front of his jacket. "Is my third, and if I do say so myself, the best one yet."

[dc-starscream.livejournal.com]

It certainly wasn't every day that a fleshling attempted to be... polite, to Starscream. It caught him a bit off guard. After a few uncertain moments he offered his own designation in turn: a series of electronic tones, chirps, and something between a growl and grinding that might evoke memories of old dial-up modems that no organic vocal cords could hope to accurately replicate.

"The closest approximation of my name in your language would be 'Starscream'," he explained in what was for him an unusual display of courtesy. It couldn't last, of course. Soon he was crouching even lower, balancing his weight on one hand while he reached out with the other, seeming like he was about to prod the Doctor with a finger.

The Doctor appeared indistinguishable from any other human native to this planet, outwardly, but the readings Starscream's sensors were picking up painted a very different picture. Once upon a time, many millennia ago, Starscream had been a scientist and planetary explorer; he'd rarely had a chance to indulge his scientific curiosity amid the endless warring of his species, particularly once he had become second-in-command to the former Lord High Protector of Cybertron...

But Hogwarts was an entirely different story. There was no war here. It was not even the same planet Earth he'd once invaded, or so the historical discrepancies led him to believe.

"You wear the skin of a human, but you're not human," he said, stating the obvious. "What is your species? Where are you from?"

[science-advice.livejournal.com]

Interesting, if not unsurprising, even their language comprised of mechanical sounds, with some recemblance to certain insectoid species he'd encountered. Furthermore, a complex language indicated an existence of intelligence and culture. And yet, he'd never seen or heard this particular kind before.

Then again, the universe was a large place with many secrets. The Doctor liked that about it.

He wasn't so lost in contemplation as not to notice the movement towards him, but tried not to react too obviously.

"I assure you the skin is wholly my own, despite the superficial similarity," he replied drily. "Although I don't blame you for not knowing, my species tend to be rather isolationist, to the extend they shun those who show overmuch curiousity in the universe around them..." at the end his tone turned somewhat sour, as he recalled his own troubles with the curmudgeons of the high council.

"They seem to think we are so advanced all time lords ought to just sit back and fiddle with the inventions of previous generations, rather than go out and see the world, lest they have new ideas! No appreciation for exploration!" he was so intent on his rant he didn't even notice he'd let slip slightly more information than he'd intended to give.

[chipsandwich.livejournal.com]

The sound of the TARDIS was familiar to Clyde as well, and he'd met the Doctor in more than one regeneration, so it seemed likely that this was him again. And he said he worked for UNIT, and he looked older, whereas the first two times he'd seemed almost to be aging in reverse. And Sarah Jane spoke of his affiliation with UNIT in the past tense, so...

"Oi, Doctor!" he said cheekily. "D'you need to know what year it is?"

[science-advice.livejournal.com]

What was it with people and being overly familiar with this time and place. The Doctor didn't know anything about this place, he didn't know this man (who yet seemed to know him) and he hated the feeling of ignorance.

As such, his reply was rather grouchy in tone. "Well, that might or might not be helpful. And since you seem to know me so well, who might you be?"

[chipsandwich.livejournal.com]

"Met you twice. My best friend's mum used to know you, only I'm not sure if you know her yet." The grouchiness was a lot more convincing from this face than either of the younger ones, but Clyde was guessing that he was actually much younger now than when he'd met him, that he aged in reverse. Which made it even easier to be cocky. "It's 2012 and you're in Scotland."

[science-advice.livejournal.com]

The Doctor refused to be impressed. "Ah, I see." he said. "Not much further from where I was stu... where I left from," he corrected himself hastily. Still further than most of his revious attempts, though. "And what was the name of your best friend's mother?" he continued, curious despite himself. Just knowing the name couldn't hurt the timeline too badly, could it?

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

A had been solitary and withdrawn (except for his constant feline honor guard) for the past few months, struggling to come to terms with being alone. Noticing a flutter of activity in the Sorting Room, he decided to Make An Effort. Fresh herbs were flourishing in his greenhouse, so he fixed a quick loaf of herb bread and brought it oven-warm with a crock of butter to the Sorting Room.

The applicant seemed cross but not actually hostile, and pleasantly clever. A held out the tray. "It, it doesn't have cheese, but this is, it, it's local. The herbs were grown on the school grounds and it was baked in the kitchen." He didn't add that he'd done the growing and baking.

[science-advice.livejournal.com]

He was starting to get used to people just appearing to greet him. Presumably it had to do with this ridicilous sorting business, which the Doctor frankly didn't much care for. Who were these strangers to "judge" him, based on a silly questionnaire. Still, surely whatever the result was it wouldn't matter much to him.

"Ah, thank you, I was getting a bit peckish," he said, picking up a piece of bread and breathing in the scent before slathering butter on it and biting into the warm bread. "Excellent," he said after he'd chewed the first bite. Also not poisoned. "Much better than the servings from the UNIT cafeteria, in fact."

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

"Thank you, I," he bit his lip and looked away briefly before remembering his manners. "The herbs have, they, they've been doing well this year. So. I've been making more herb bread than cookies. It, this loaf is just culinary herbs, it won't make you feel strange."

[science-advice.livejournal.com]

The Doctor raised an eyebrow where he was chewing his third bite of it. "I should hope so," he said after swallowing, before he realized he'd neglected to introduce himself. Bad manners were clearly catching. "The Doctor," he said, holding out a hand to shake. "Scientist and explorer, at your service. Assuming I think you deserve it," he added, so as not to give any wrong ideas.

[znachit-v-morg.livejournal.com]

It had been some time since a new applicant had stumbled into the Grand Hall, and even longer since Ivan bothered to attend a sorting. This one, he decided after glancing over the application, was interesting enough, at least in his complete refusal to play along and answer the more frivolous questions. That didn't seem particularly fair, but who was he to judge?

"Barney is a purple and green dinosaur in a children's television show," Ivan explained helpfully. "While Carrot Top is a prop comic who I, personally, have never found to be very funny. Though I couldn't tell you why the application talks about having you kill them." Not that he really cared about any of that. What really piqued his interest was the blue police box sitting right in the middle of the hall like it owned the place. Ivan nodded in its direction. "May I ask what that is?"

[science-advice.livejournal.com]

"He always did have something of a fascination with... colourful characters," the Doctor muttered mostly to himself, before turning his full attention on the young (was he? There was something peculiarly old about his eyes...) man. "Greetings. The Doctor, charmed to meet you et cetera. That is a Tardis, my long time transport. Although at the moment she is somewhat... unoperational," he said the last reluctantly, as if it almost pained him to admit it.

[znachit-v-morg.livejournal.com]

"My name is Ivan Braginski. It's a pleasure to meet you, Doctor." He greeted, taking a moment to smile at the man before returning his gaze to the unassuming, if strangely placed, blue box. "Ah, a time machine, then? How curious. I was not aware such a thing existed." Ivan was a little less thrown by this revelation than others might be. When one lives for hundreds of years one tends to stop being surprised by such things (preaching to the choir in the Doctor's case, of course). Besides, as the anthropomorphic personification of the largest country in the world, Ivan felt he had little right to doubt the existence of something as comparatively tame as time travel. "What a shame that it's not working, I imagine it would be great fun to go back to different times. Or forward, perhaps."

He remembered something the Doctor had said earlier, and focused a curious expression on him. "'He'? Who is 'he'?"

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Your bribe has been accepted!

Welcome to Gryffindor!

[science-advice.livejournal.com]

So this was the infamous sentient... or at least talking hat, then.

"Thank you," the Doctor said, dry and bemused. "About time," he added under his breath.

Time to exlore this castle, then!