https://edomedpeddler.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] edomedpeddler.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] hh_mirror2011-06-30 07:20 pm

Journey into Recovery ((Sock, RP, Kusuriyuri, Yukimura, Kuronue))

What god-modding there is has been approved. Topic and action likely to wander to NSFW areas and possibly triggery.

It had taken him longer to recover than he expected, but Kusuriyuri had finally convinced Kurama that he was well enough to return to his office for the day. He had almost had to threaten his lover with wards to make Kurama go to the greenhouses. He was just finishing preparing to leave when there was a soft knock at the door. Frowning at the wards that thought about identifying the presence as Kuronue but wouldn't commit, Kusuriyuri opened the door, not surprised the knocker was Yukimura, though he was surprised to see the samurai.

"I am sorry to bother you so early," Yukimura said, bowing. "As well as at your home, but I have something I wish to speak with you about in private."

Kusuriyuri tilted his head and looked at Yukimura. A contented exhaustion overlayed a deeper sense of concern. He returned the bow and stepped back. "Please, come in. Good morning." He wondered how long Yukimura had been waiting to be sure Kurama had left for the day.

Yukimura smiled as he walked past the peddler, stepping out of his shoes easily before entering the main portion of the house. "Good morning and thank you for your indulgence."

Kusuriyuri led Yukimura to the living room and gestured for him to take a seat. He watched while the samurai knelt between the couch and the table. Kusuriyuri knelt opposite him and waited.

Boukensha crawled into Kusuriyuri's lap and Belophoebe sniffed at Yukimura before hopping up on the couch behind his head, turning to deliberately ignore him except for her tail that draped over his shoulder.

Yukimura reached up and brushed her tail, causing ti to twitch and then settle again on his shoulder. "First, I want to thank you for everything you have done for us, Kuronue and myself. Words only are not enough."

"You have done much for us, as well," Kusuriyuri murmured. He knew that Yukimura's relationship with Kurama and Kuronue helped the fox in many ways.

A smile crossed Yukimura's lips. "I also know that we are far more in your debt." He reached up and caressed Bel's tail, amusement in his features as her tail flicked around his neck, lingering, before settling on his shoulder again. His expression sobered as his hand settled in his lap. "And I am here to place myself more in your debt."

While it was expected, Kusuriyuri's eyebrow went up. "This one does not consider you in his debt," he said formally. "As to your request, this one is a medicine peddler."

"True, but as to whether what I ask is within your trade..." Yukimura protested, his hand coming up to caress Bel's tail again.

"Ease your mind, then, and make your request," Kusuriyuri suggested after watching Yukimura pet the cat's tail a long moment.

Sighing, Yukimura said, "It is a difficult thing, but Kuronue did agree to this." He looked at Kusuriyuri. "Kuronue is still having nightmares. He doesn't always recognize me when I try to soothe or wake him. While he has only snarled at me in his sleep, this is a newer development and I would not care to see it become worse."

Kusuriyuri bowed to Yukimura. "This is a difficult thing," he murmured.

Nodding, Yukimura continued, "And, neither of us is used to asking for help. But, I do not wish to have you obliged, either. I remember that thing Apos threw at you."

"Once this one's body accepted it, it has ceased to be a problem." Nor would it be one in the future with Apos trapped in the sinning tree.

"That is good to hear. I would not want you to come to permanent harm." There was genuine relief in the samurai's voice.

"What is it that you would ask of this one?" Kusuriyuri asked. "What you have said does sound as though it would be within the scope of a medicine peddler."

"It is more complex than that," Yukimura said carefully. "To allow himself to be open enough, he needs more than I am able to give him."

Kusuriyuri frowned slightly. "More?"

"Yes," Yukimura nodded. "Violence and sex are very closely tied in his mind. I tend to be more gentle unless he provokes me, and even then, I am not as harsh as he desires sometimes. But, when he receives such treatment, his mind is more open."

"Is that so?" Kusuriyuri murmured. "That may be why Akabane affected him so deeply."

A wry expression crossed Yukimura's face, his eyes hardening. "Perhaps, but we both would like him to reach a level of peace rather than just burying his heart again. I would rather he healed."

The image of Ro impinged on Kusuriyuri's mind. He'd kept his distance but he had seen how very weak and injured that part of Kuronue's mind had been. "Healing cannot be forced," he said carefully.

"I know. I also am aware that things between us may change. I also know that things may become worse before they improve." Yukimura held up his hand. "I trust and respect your judgement, both in regard to whether you'll accept and what you tell Kurama. If you will not, there will be nothing more spoken of this."

Kusuriyuri was silent a long moment, stroking Boukensha as he thought. "I would speak with Kuronue alone first," he said slowly. While he understood why Yukimura approached him—things between him and Kuronue were still somewhat awkward despite the recent changes in their relationship—he needed to know this was truly what Kuronue wanted, that he was prepared.

"Of course," Yukimura said. His eyes went unfocused for a moment and he rose. "He will be here soon," he said, bowing. "Thank you."

Kusuriyuri rose before returning the bow. "It is what is done," he said as Yukimura walked to the hall.

"By some," Yukimura said, turning as he stepped into his shoes. "Those who are indeed worthy of regard," he added with a bow, stepping out of the door.

[identity profile] prettypendulum.livejournal.com 2011-07-06 09:48 am (UTC)(link)
Kuronue went to speak, then paused. "No, I don't think so. I mean, my head was so muddled I didn't want to talk about things all that much, but I did tell him about what I'd discovered while I was with you..." He turned his cup in his hands.

"That's not hiding, is it?"

[identity profile] prettypendulum.livejournal.com 2011-07-06 09:56 am (UTC)(link)
"Yeah," he said nodding. "He was okay with it, accepted it just fine."

Sipping at his tea, he chuckled lightly. "And we're both going to be, ah, making love a whole lot more, I think... I think it will help us talk a whole lot more too. Maybe."

[identity profile] prettypendulum.livejournal.com 2011-07-06 10:09 am (UTC)(link)
His mood dropped considerably. "We ended up arguing," he said, sighing. "I think all I managed to do was upset him. I'm confused over whether we got anything out of it at all. I want to him be...I don't know, more forward with his emotions, to be visible with them, at least around me, but..."

He made a frustrated sound and looked over to Kusuriyuri. "It's blind leading the blind. I forgive him for everything he did, now that I know what it was he did, but...I don't know if I can let it go until he...gives me some kind of acknowledgement for it." He looked confused. "I don't know. I really don't know."

[identity profile] prettypendulum.livejournal.com 2011-07-06 10:23 am (UTC)(link)
What Kusuriyuri said, he understood. Both he and Kurama had issues. Kurama had his own shit to sort out. He needed to let him do that while he sorted out his own issues. He nodded. "Yeah, I understand. Work on myself."

[identity profile] prettypendulum.livejournal.com 2011-07-06 10:30 am (UTC)(link)
He finished his cup of tea. "No, not really. That's it."

[identity profile] prettypendulum.livejournal.com 2011-07-06 10:40 am (UTC)(link)
Kuronue set his cup on the table and slid off the couch, shifted his wings a little to fit between the couch and the table and laid down on the floor. He looked up at Kusuriyuri with faint interest.

[identity profile] prettypendulum.livejournal.com 2011-07-06 10:49 am (UTC)(link)
He thought about it for a bit. "Hm, no it's okay, I trust you." Kusuriyuri had seen as much of his mind as Yukimura had. If there was anyone he would have trusted to be in his head, it was Kusuriyuri.

[identity profile] prettypendulum.livejournal.com 2011-07-06 11:07 am (UTC)(link)
It kind of felt like someone had their hand inside him and was shuffling things around. Keeping his eyes closed, Kuronue frowned and paid attention to each thing Kusuriyuri worked on. Though it fluctuated, it still felt like the other man was jerking on strings with his insides connected to the other end. Sometimes it was fine, other times he wanted to squirm away.

He stayed, thought. He wanted to get better.

[identity profile] prettypendulum.livejournal.com 2011-07-06 11:18 am (UTC)(link)
Okay this...kind of hurt. The feeling was on the intense side of awkwardness, so much so that it had him clenching his jaws and trying not to growl. It was getting worse by the minute and just when he thought that something would happen, that his mind would force Kusuriyuri out, it began to lessen. Kuronue almost let out a sigh of relief.

[identity profile] prettypendulum.livejournal.com 2011-07-06 11:26 am (UTC)(link)
Not for lack of wanting, Kuronue found this one wasn't as easy as the others had been. It was a different kind of ache, and didn't feel bad, but his body, his mind, was starting to protest to external forces messing with him. He could feel...something different in the rest of his body (his wings?) and so it was fine, but just...different.

He let Kusuriyuri work in silence.

[identity profile] prettypendulum.livejournal.com 2011-07-06 11:42 am (UTC)(link)
Kuronue opened his eyes, noticed that Kusuriyuri looked taxed. "Are you okay?" he asked, squirming a little. His body felt...like it wasn't his own. It felt...different. His wings, his...bond, with Yukimura felt...looser.

[identity profile] prettypendulum.livejournal.com 2011-07-06 02:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Kuronue sat up and span around to face Kusuriyuri. He smiled. "It's fine. Would you like me to make you some tea?"

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