Application for Crowley from Supernatural (End of Season 5)

[dontmissokay.livejournal.com]

((Application approved by the rest of the SPN crew!))

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[A man of just slightly more than average height with a receding hairline, wearing a tasteful and impeccably-tailored black suit, thrusts his hands into the pockets of his coat and looks around the Sorting Room with speculative interest.]

When I said I was looking to hole up someplace out of the way, this isn't exactly what I had in mind. But it'll do.

State your full name.

Come on now, if you had the wherewithal to bring me here, you really should know better than to ask such a thing. You can call me Crowley.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

Cravanzina. Heard of it? ...Didn't think so. And that would be why.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Hm... [Consults his iPhone] Well I've got them both pencilled in, but there's a bit of a backlog what with the Apocalypse and all. You know how it is. Not to worry though, certain individuals paid handsomely to get the job done, and we're one hundred percent committed to satisfying our valued customers. I'd have to say it's a toss-up which one we get to first.

3. What time is it where you are?

[He smiles charmingly] What time would you like it to be?

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

Search me, I'm not familiar with the chap. Which one would make for the best blackmail picture if I can catch a good shot of us kissing?

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

Across the Road. ...What? I'm in sales, not advertising.

B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

Whichever one's the snappier dresser. If you're going to be controversial, you'd best do it with style. Just ask Aphrodite--now there's a lady who dresses to impress.

C. Ravenclaw : You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

Sounds like you need to have a good heart-to-heart with your personal assistant. They can be so high-maintenance. But if you find one that really suits, trust me, it's worth going that extra mile to accommodate them.

D. Hufflepuff : Prove you are not useless.

I'm a purveyor of...well, essentially anything. If it's out there to be had, I'll get it for you. For a price, of course. Now my usual channels may be inaccessible here, and I'll need some time to establish alternatives, but once I've got settled in a bit I guarantee I'll find ways of making myself downright indispensible. [Smiles modestly] It's sort of what I do.

If that doesn't impress you, I've been known to rent out the Pup on occasion. I happen to be under a contractual obligation not to bring him along on this trip, but I'm sure he'll catch up to me on his own soon enough. He's hard to keep kenneled and all but impossible to throw off the scent, the little scamp...

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

A bribe, eh? Not really my usual style, but let's see. [Searches his person] Got my trusty iPhone, but I don't think I'm going to be handing that over. Business cards for all my key associates...well, several of them are dead now... [Goes through them, tossing half the cards over his shoulder] A rather nice silver flask I could bear to part with, filled with a particularly fine single-malt I'm not certain I could; a platinum Rolex, an embroidered silk handkerchief, the keys to my Mercedes--not that I've ever actually driven it, but appearances are everything--three Montecristos, matches, an interesting old coin, two hundred fifty hundred dollars cash, give or take...oh yeah, and a couple of spare .28 caliber cartridges with some rather unique properties.

If there's something else you're after, please, feel free to mention it. We may be able to come to some arrangement.

---

I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _DMO

I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _DMO

One day, marmalade will rule the world. _DMO

Comments

[dontmissokay.livejournal.com]

Crowley shook his head, tutting reprovingly. "Give me some credit, will you? If it were a standard transaction, I'd have offered you more than a fine cigar. But no, no contracts, no smoochies, I won't even ask for a handshake." Even if he was sure the usual terms could be enforced here, Dean's soul had proven more than a little slippery in the past. It really wasn't worth investing the time to try to snag it again, especially with the backups they'd been dealing with since Alastair made his final exit. "Enjoy."

Anyway, with Lucifer and Lilith out of his way, Crowley could afford to be generous.

"Yeah, the grapevine's been abuzz with the news. I'm sincerely impressed. I had my doubts you lot could pull it off even if you got your hands on all four rings. Brilliant performances all around, give your friends my regards."

[hunter-returns.livejournal.com]

Sam looked towards the door with a relieved smile, clapping his brother on the shoulder. "Happy birthday, man."

He smirked at Crowley's congratulations. It hadn't been a victory, not really, but damned if he was going to let that show. "Well we've been known to pull the impossible out of thin air a time or two."

[i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com]

Dean face brightened and he grinned wide as he returned the clap to his younger brother's shoulder "Sammy!" It was a happy bellow, Crowley or not at least he got to see Sam on his birthday "Tell me you didn't forget the pie?"

He looked at Crowley at the mention of smoochies of course the first thing Dean saw was that picture Crowley had of his deal with Bobby and the hunter's face showed his thought on that "Yeah, I think I'll just smoke the damn thing and you can keep your tongue to yourself. I'm not in the mood." He didn't lose the grin, truth be told for all his unease facing a demon from home, well that was easy for Dean, that was normal and for now the hunter was actually relaxed, Crowley he knew how to handle, unlike the 'friendly' demons and other races he had met so far here at Hogwarts.

[dontmissokay.livejournal.com]

Crowley heaved an exaggerated sigh. "And here I thought we'd shared something special, Dean. Ah well, you win some, you lose some." He chuckled. "Excuse me, gentlemen, it seems I've some other guests to greet." If whoever had brought him here was going to make him the center of attention, he might as well treat it as an occasion and play the gracious host as opposed to a prisoner under interrogation, at least until he had a clearer idea what his status actually was. "Feel free to carry on with the festivities; I'm sure I don't mind if the powers that be in this place don't." He went off to speak to Arthur (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1998126.html?thread=112919086#t112919086) and Faith. (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1998126.html?thread=112921134#t112921134)

[hunter-returns.livejournal.com]

Sam grinned at his brother, as Crowley left them. "Dude, when have I ever forgotten the pie? Especially on your birthday." He nodded in the direction of the curvy brunette talking to the demon and gave an appreciative whistle under his breath. "Damn."

The hunter tore his eyes away and returned his attention to his brother. "So how're things in that weird-ass house?"

[i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com]

Dean snorted as he watched Crowley walk away, it was his birthday, he was hanging with Sammy, there was pie and a bad guy he knew how to handle, safe to say at that moment Dean Winchester was feeling a bit like he was on top of the world and as his head swiveled and he followed Sam's gaze Dean's eyebrows went upwards and he smirked "Now Sammy, it would be a shame to leave that to Crowley. What do you say we see if she likes pie...and beer."


When Sam asked about the house Dean cast his a side glance "It's ridiculous, I can be out as long as I'm in one of these rooms with the new arrivals, you just keep your ass around here, cause I tell you, there is somethin' off in that house and I'm gonna find it."

[hunter-returns.livejournal.com]

Sam nodded, "We've been trying to find a way in or a way to get word to you. No luck, but we'll keep trying. Watch out in there, man. Someone's messing with old demonic sigils - the kind that make Cas get all nervous looking. You know that ain't good."

"Right, you go right ahead, man." He was more than a little gun shy when it came to women, no matter how gorgeous they might be. The Winchester track record with women wasn't a good one, but his was downright awful.

[i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com]

"You got a name or know what room they're in?"Dean was all business the minute he heard that. "I take it no luck, huh? I didn't think the elves would pass messages. What can you tell me about the sigils?"


Dean glanced back over to the brunette, it was his birthday but Adam was in that house too, along with several other innocent people, that would have to wait and Dean would have to be happy with his birthday pie and a break down of what Sam and Cas had learned from watching the show so he had some knowledge to fight back when he got back. "Yeah, curvy brunettes, even those that look like they could bend like a gymnast." And he felt a pang of guilt as he thought about Lisa back home "They're just gonna have to wait, Adam's in that house, I ain't lettin' the kid bite it again."

[hunter-returns.livejournal.com]

Sam frowned, "All Cas and me could make out was room number 5. It's got glitter, mutilated paper dolls and the sigils. I didn't get a close look, but they're old and they look dangerous. Cas thought that they could set off any number of bad things - explosions, portals being opened, you know, all sorts of shit."

He shifted restlessly. Sam hated being stuck on the outside, unable to do anything to help his brothers. "Not yet. Look, I'll keep an eye out here. Try and pass messages by showing them to the camera or something. If we have to, we'll meet up at sortings or something and I'll tell you what I can."

"How's Adam handling the weirdness?"

[i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com]

"Got it, number five, looks like I'll have to see if I can get in there while they're out. I'll see what I can find out and find some way to get you signals through the cameras, do some research on these reality shows if you can. Who knows, maybe there is some part of it that we can make the Hat use that will let us communicate both ways instead of just me to you."

Dean saw a beer on the table and he snagged it, he sat back against the table edge, cracked it open and took a slow drink "I'll make sure to mention what days I'm headin' out to Sortin's, but make sure you check daily, I might need to get things in there and quick."

Dean cracked a grin at that question "Like a pro, he's handlin' things alot better than when he got here."

[hunter-returns.livejournal.com]

"I think this is just one of the hat's random deals, but I'll keep digging," he promised. "Me and Bobby will keep an eye out, try and get us some kind of signal and we'll do what we can on this end."

Sam picked up a fresh beer, looking momentarily troubled. If his idea worked, it would save Adam; but it would devestate Dean. He didn't want to do that, but he was running out of options.

"Good. I had a feeling he'd adapt pretty well. Runs in the family."

[i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com]

"Good, random or not the damn thing had to get the idea from some where, it's not it's that smart" Dean didn't know honestly, he had never had an encounter with the hat personally just it's random ideas that came up around the house.

Dean looked over at Sam and rather his little brother realized it or not, Dean saw the guilt there written all over his face as plain as day. He cleared his throat and sipped his beer again "Yeah, kids got balls, that's for sure."

Dean paused a moment "You got somethin' you should be tellin' me Sammy? You got that guilty puppy look on your face."

[hunter-returns.livejournal.com]

"I wish I could help you and Adam. I hate sitting outside here, not being able to do a damned thing."

Damn.

Dean could see right through him every time. "It can wait until you get out of there. Keep your mind on watching your ass and looking out for Adam."

Even if he wanted to talk to Dean about his fears, he sure as hell wasn't going to do it on his brother's birthday and before he was shuttled off to the house again for God knows how long.

[i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com]

"It sucks man, but that hat can't keep us in there forever, at least you can let me know what's up since you can see crap I don't."

Dean pursed his lips and watched Sam for a few moments longer, finally he let it go with one final addition "Just don't do nothin' stupid before I get out of there." Meaning, wait for me Sam what ever it is, I'll take care of it.

"So where's my pie?" He grinned as he took a seat and remembered the reason he was here, but dragged it out, he knew once he cast his vote the hat was going to come and take him back, Dean didn't want to go just yet.

[hunter-returns.livejournal.com]

"I'll keep an eye out," he promised. "Normally the Hat has the attention span of a frog, so hopefully this won't last much longer."

He waved at a house elf who began bringing over more beer as well as a tray laden with bacon cheeseburgers, fries and at least four different kinds of pie. "Pie and more, man. Happy birthday. And don't worry Dean.. I won't."

Sam looked towards the door, his smile easing when their father finally walked in. Better late than never, he guessed. John crossed over to his sons, ignoring the demon entirely. "Happy birthday, son."

[i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com]

"I hope not. At least I can keep busy with those damn sigils."


Dean leaned forward as he saw the elf coming with the tray, he grinned and didn't take long to snag a beer, a bacon cheeseburger and start eyeing the pie deciding which one to tackle first. This sure and the hell beat the house, Dean wasn't exactly the best cook and the Hat didn't make it easy. He grinned around a mouth full of food "Good job, Sammy"

Dean looked up and took a swig of his beer and actually took a second to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth as their dad walked in. He grinned even wider and gestured towards the beer "Thanks Dad, you're just in time for the party."

[hunter-returns.livejournal.com]

"Yeah. If we see anything else that far out of the ordinary, I'll try and get some more information on them to pass along at another sorting."

He smiled, his cheer somewhat restored seeing his brother happily digging into the food.

John gave Crowley a lingering look before turning back and joining his sons. "Can't say I'm happy to see a demon around, but at least it gave you a chance to get out of the house. You managing all right in there?"

[i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com]

"I'll make sure to keep comin' to them regularly. I'm sure Adam will be poppin' in and out, he's not really hittin' it off with any one there."

It helped Dean's smile to be less of a cover and more real when he saw Sam perk up. He caught that look John shot Crowley "Yeah, me either, but he might keep his nose clean. He's only gonna watch his own ass, not any one else, other demons included."

Dean grinned "It was my birthday, I was gettin' out of that damn house one way or another. Come on man, when was the last time we all got to hang out together for any of our birthdays." He tried to pass over the question of how he was managing "Alright,gonna look in to some sigils Sammy and Cas saw in one of the rooms"

[hunter-returns.livejournal.com]

John shook his head. Demons didn't keep their noses out of trouble in his experience, but if the boys didn't seem worried, then he wouldn't press the issue. If he was ever going to mend things between them, he'd have to start trusting their judgement. After all, they were damn good hunters in their own right, and from what he had been told, they averted the Apocalypse.

"It's been too damn long, Dean," he said, taking a seat with his family.

"Crowley's largely interested in self-preservation," Sam volunteered. "He's got no reason to bother us. Right now we're just working on ways to try and pass messages back and forth."

[i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com]

It wasn't that the boys thought they could trust Crowley, they just knew he wouldn't bother with them unless some one made a deal or they messed with him. He wasn't as quick to jump as some of the demons John had dealt with.


"Damn right, so let's party. Damn, wonder if I can get Adam out of that house, be nice to have the kid here." Dean already had a pie in his hand and a fork as he ate he talked.

"Best we got so far are these Sortin's, and usin' the cameras to pass messages. Only way to get out is Sortin's and they drive your ass here in a limo, dude."

[hunter-returns.livejournal.com]

John nodded. He had been hoping to see Adam as well, he had been worried for the kid when he found out that the Hat had snapped him up for a bizzare idea of a reality show. But he was sitting with Sam and Dean and having a civil conversation that hadn’t disintegrated into an argument yet, so he wasn’t going to complain. “As long as you can keep an eye on him, I’m sure he’ll be fine Dean.”

“How far does the limo take you, Dean? Can you see exactly where you are?” Sam inquired. If Dean could give them a relative idea of distance, they could scout the area and try to find the house itself.

[i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com]

It seemed luck was on their side because as Adam was mentioned the young man appeared at the door, he looked in and saw the three men there. His smile was a little on the tentative side "Private party or can any one join?" He asked as he looked around at the other people. He had found out about Dean leaving and decided he needed a break from the house too. He hadn't expected to find his dad and both half brothers.


"Hm, it's not too far, I know we have to still be on the grounds, but the problem is that dome" Dean stopped talking as he looked up at Adam and grinned "Hey Kid, we were just talkin' about you, come on in, grab a pie, a soda and relax." Dean felt happy, stuck in that place or not him and Sam would figure a way out, he wasn't worried about that. "Besides, probably a good thing I stick around till those sigils are done, but we can work out an escape plan in the mean time."

[hunter-returns.livejournal.com]

John looked up, giving Adam a tentative smile of his own. "Little family celebration for Dean, have a seat. I'm glad to see you both out of that house for awhile."

"See if you can time it or get a good sense of where the dome might be and pass it to us on a camera or through another sorting. Once we find the dome, we'll find a way to crack it and get you guys out of there," Sam said, shifting over to allow room for Adam to join them.

It was nice to sit and simply relax with family, no great looming disasters, monsters or any other horrific threat just on the horizion, Sam mused. His eyes flicked back over to the well-dressed demon in the corner. He'd talk to Cas first. Until then, no decisions.

[i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com]

Dean figured Adam's appearance was as good a time as any to grab Sam and discuss some thing he had been meaning to for a while now. So while the youngest Winchester sibling walked in and took a seat Dean clapped him on the shoulder and grinned "Give us just a second, I need to talk to Cinderella here about her dancin' shoes." He chuckled as he stood up and gave John a level look, one that told him that it was okay, Dean had his back with Adam same as he always had with Sam.

"Hey chuckle head, c'mere, I need to talk to you." Dean stepped off to the side away from Adam and John and waited for his brother. When Sam followed Dean smirked "Alright, now what's goin' on with Death and Cas, cause one way or another, we gotta pull somethin' on him with this, it's his first crush, man."

Adam looked a bit surprised when Sam and Dean stepped away, then he looked back at John and nodded "Nice to be out, that place is a whole new level of crazy." Adam looked away slightly, then back a bit awkward "You look good, place seems to agree with you."

[hunter-returns.livejournal.com]

Sam shook his head at the names and followed his brother without protest. Either this was going to be an argument about what they had talked about before, or Dean really had something on his mind. He was kind of hoping for the latter.

He grinned, "Cas isn't just crushing on her. He's head-over-heels. I've seen them over in Ravenclaw, it's.." he trailed off at a loss for words. "Dude, Cas is happy. Like really happy. And every time he smiles at her she blushes. What'd you have in mind?"