Application for Crowley from Supernatural (End of Season 5)

[dontmissokay.livejournal.com]

((Application approved by the rest of the SPN crew!))

---

[A man of just slightly more than average height with a receding hairline, wearing a tasteful and impeccably-tailored black suit, thrusts his hands into the pockets of his coat and looks around the Sorting Room with speculative interest.]

When I said I was looking to hole up someplace out of the way, this isn't exactly what I had in mind. But it'll do.

State your full name.

Come on now, if you had the wherewithal to bring me here, you really should know better than to ask such a thing. You can call me Crowley.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

Cravanzina. Heard of it? ...Didn't think so. And that would be why.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Hm... [Consults his iPhone] Well I've got them both pencilled in, but there's a bit of a backlog what with the Apocalypse and all. You know how it is. Not to worry though, certain individuals paid handsomely to get the job done, and we're one hundred percent committed to satisfying our valued customers. I'd have to say it's a toss-up which one we get to first.

3. What time is it where you are?

[He smiles charmingly] What time would you like it to be?

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

Search me, I'm not familiar with the chap. Which one would make for the best blackmail picture if I can catch a good shot of us kissing?

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

Across the Road. ...What? I'm in sales, not advertising.

B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

Whichever one's the snappier dresser. If you're going to be controversial, you'd best do it with style. Just ask Aphrodite--now there's a lady who dresses to impress.

C. Ravenclaw : You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

Sounds like you need to have a good heart-to-heart with your personal assistant. They can be so high-maintenance. But if you find one that really suits, trust me, it's worth going that extra mile to accommodate them.

D. Hufflepuff : Prove you are not useless.

I'm a purveyor of...well, essentially anything. If it's out there to be had, I'll get it for you. For a price, of course. Now my usual channels may be inaccessible here, and I'll need some time to establish alternatives, but once I've got settled in a bit I guarantee I'll find ways of making myself downright indispensible. [Smiles modestly] It's sort of what I do.

If that doesn't impress you, I've been known to rent out the Pup on occasion. I happen to be under a contractual obligation not to bring him along on this trip, but I'm sure he'll catch up to me on his own soon enough. He's hard to keep kenneled and all but impossible to throw off the scent, the little scamp...

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

A bribe, eh? Not really my usual style, but let's see. [Searches his person] Got my trusty iPhone, but I don't think I'm going to be handing that over. Business cards for all my key associates...well, several of them are dead now... [Goes through them, tossing half the cards over his shoulder] A rather nice silver flask I could bear to part with, filled with a particularly fine single-malt I'm not certain I could; a platinum Rolex, an embroidered silk handkerchief, the keys to my Mercedes--not that I've ever actually driven it, but appearances are everything--three Montecristos, matches, an interesting old coin, two hundred fifty hundred dollars cash, give or take...oh yeah, and a couple of spare .28 caliber cartridges with some rather unique properties.

If there's something else you're after, please, feel free to mention it. We may be able to come to some arrangement.

---

I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _DMO

I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _DMO

One day, marmalade will rule the world. _DMO

Comments

[i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com]

"Good, random or not the damn thing had to get the idea from some where, it's not it's that smart" Dean didn't know honestly, he had never had an encounter with the hat personally just it's random ideas that came up around the house.

Dean looked over at Sam and rather his little brother realized it or not, Dean saw the guilt there written all over his face as plain as day. He cleared his throat and sipped his beer again "Yeah, kids got balls, that's for sure."

Dean paused a moment "You got somethin' you should be tellin' me Sammy? You got that guilty puppy look on your face."

[hunter-returns.livejournal.com]

"I wish I could help you and Adam. I hate sitting outside here, not being able to do a damned thing."

Damn.

Dean could see right through him every time. "It can wait until you get out of there. Keep your mind on watching your ass and looking out for Adam."

Even if he wanted to talk to Dean about his fears, he sure as hell wasn't going to do it on his brother's birthday and before he was shuttled off to the house again for God knows how long.

[i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com]

"It sucks man, but that hat can't keep us in there forever, at least you can let me know what's up since you can see crap I don't."

Dean pursed his lips and watched Sam for a few moments longer, finally he let it go with one final addition "Just don't do nothin' stupid before I get out of there." Meaning, wait for me Sam what ever it is, I'll take care of it.

"So where's my pie?" He grinned as he took a seat and remembered the reason he was here, but dragged it out, he knew once he cast his vote the hat was going to come and take him back, Dean didn't want to go just yet.

[hunter-returns.livejournal.com]

"I'll keep an eye out," he promised. "Normally the Hat has the attention span of a frog, so hopefully this won't last much longer."

He waved at a house elf who began bringing over more beer as well as a tray laden with bacon cheeseburgers, fries and at least four different kinds of pie. "Pie and more, man. Happy birthday. And don't worry Dean.. I won't."

Sam looked towards the door, his smile easing when their father finally walked in. Better late than never, he guessed. John crossed over to his sons, ignoring the demon entirely. "Happy birthday, son."

[i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com]

"I hope not. At least I can keep busy with those damn sigils."


Dean leaned forward as he saw the elf coming with the tray, he grinned and didn't take long to snag a beer, a bacon cheeseburger and start eyeing the pie deciding which one to tackle first. This sure and the hell beat the house, Dean wasn't exactly the best cook and the Hat didn't make it easy. He grinned around a mouth full of food "Good job, Sammy"

Dean looked up and took a swig of his beer and actually took a second to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth as their dad walked in. He grinned even wider and gestured towards the beer "Thanks Dad, you're just in time for the party."

[hunter-returns.livejournal.com]

"Yeah. If we see anything else that far out of the ordinary, I'll try and get some more information on them to pass along at another sorting."

He smiled, his cheer somewhat restored seeing his brother happily digging into the food.

John gave Crowley a lingering look before turning back and joining his sons. "Can't say I'm happy to see a demon around, but at least it gave you a chance to get out of the house. You managing all right in there?"

[i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com]

"I'll make sure to keep comin' to them regularly. I'm sure Adam will be poppin' in and out, he's not really hittin' it off with any one there."

It helped Dean's smile to be less of a cover and more real when he saw Sam perk up. He caught that look John shot Crowley "Yeah, me either, but he might keep his nose clean. He's only gonna watch his own ass, not any one else, other demons included."

Dean grinned "It was my birthday, I was gettin' out of that damn house one way or another. Come on man, when was the last time we all got to hang out together for any of our birthdays." He tried to pass over the question of how he was managing "Alright,gonna look in to some sigils Sammy and Cas saw in one of the rooms"

[hunter-returns.livejournal.com]

John shook his head. Demons didn't keep their noses out of trouble in his experience, but if the boys didn't seem worried, then he wouldn't press the issue. If he was ever going to mend things between them, he'd have to start trusting their judgement. After all, they were damn good hunters in their own right, and from what he had been told, they averted the Apocalypse.

"It's been too damn long, Dean," he said, taking a seat with his family.

"Crowley's largely interested in self-preservation," Sam volunteered. "He's got no reason to bother us. Right now we're just working on ways to try and pass messages back and forth."

[i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com]

It wasn't that the boys thought they could trust Crowley, they just knew he wouldn't bother with them unless some one made a deal or they messed with him. He wasn't as quick to jump as some of the demons John had dealt with.


"Damn right, so let's party. Damn, wonder if I can get Adam out of that house, be nice to have the kid here." Dean already had a pie in his hand and a fork as he ate he talked.

"Best we got so far are these Sortin's, and usin' the cameras to pass messages. Only way to get out is Sortin's and they drive your ass here in a limo, dude."

[hunter-returns.livejournal.com]

John nodded. He had been hoping to see Adam as well, he had been worried for the kid when he found out that the Hat had snapped him up for a bizzare idea of a reality show. But he was sitting with Sam and Dean and having a civil conversation that hadn’t disintegrated into an argument yet, so he wasn’t going to complain. “As long as you can keep an eye on him, I’m sure he’ll be fine Dean.”

“How far does the limo take you, Dean? Can you see exactly where you are?” Sam inquired. If Dean could give them a relative idea of distance, they could scout the area and try to find the house itself.

[i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com]

It seemed luck was on their side because as Adam was mentioned the young man appeared at the door, he looked in and saw the three men there. His smile was a little on the tentative side "Private party or can any one join?" He asked as he looked around at the other people. He had found out about Dean leaving and decided he needed a break from the house too. He hadn't expected to find his dad and both half brothers.


"Hm, it's not too far, I know we have to still be on the grounds, but the problem is that dome" Dean stopped talking as he looked up at Adam and grinned "Hey Kid, we were just talkin' about you, come on in, grab a pie, a soda and relax." Dean felt happy, stuck in that place or not him and Sam would figure a way out, he wasn't worried about that. "Besides, probably a good thing I stick around till those sigils are done, but we can work out an escape plan in the mean time."

[hunter-returns.livejournal.com]

John looked up, giving Adam a tentative smile of his own. "Little family celebration for Dean, have a seat. I'm glad to see you both out of that house for awhile."

"See if you can time it or get a good sense of where the dome might be and pass it to us on a camera or through another sorting. Once we find the dome, we'll find a way to crack it and get you guys out of there," Sam said, shifting over to allow room for Adam to join them.

It was nice to sit and simply relax with family, no great looming disasters, monsters or any other horrific threat just on the horizion, Sam mused. His eyes flicked back over to the well-dressed demon in the corner. He'd talk to Cas first. Until then, no decisions.

[i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com]

Dean figured Adam's appearance was as good a time as any to grab Sam and discuss some thing he had been meaning to for a while now. So while the youngest Winchester sibling walked in and took a seat Dean clapped him on the shoulder and grinned "Give us just a second, I need to talk to Cinderella here about her dancin' shoes." He chuckled as he stood up and gave John a level look, one that told him that it was okay, Dean had his back with Adam same as he always had with Sam.

"Hey chuckle head, c'mere, I need to talk to you." Dean stepped off to the side away from Adam and John and waited for his brother. When Sam followed Dean smirked "Alright, now what's goin' on with Death and Cas, cause one way or another, we gotta pull somethin' on him with this, it's his first crush, man."

Adam looked a bit surprised when Sam and Dean stepped away, then he looked back at John and nodded "Nice to be out, that place is a whole new level of crazy." Adam looked away slightly, then back a bit awkward "You look good, place seems to agree with you."

[hunter-returns.livejournal.com]

Sam shook his head at the names and followed his brother without protest. Either this was going to be an argument about what they had talked about before, or Dean really had something on his mind. He was kind of hoping for the latter.

He grinned, "Cas isn't just crushing on her. He's head-over-heels. I've seen them over in Ravenclaw, it's.." he trailed off at a loss for words. "Dude, Cas is happy. Like really happy. And every time he smiles at her she blushes. What'd you have in mind?"

[i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com]

"Wait, wait, I knew it, she's diggin' him too. Go, Cas, she's hot for Death." Dean cracked another wide grin and leaned over to snag a beer as he cracked it open the hunter got a thoughtful look on his face.

"This isn't gonna be easy, cause we gotta make sure not to blow it for him. I'm sayin' somethin' to do with flowers and lots of that girly crap, you know how to get romantic, come on, you're the one who reads fairy tales."

[hunter-returns.livejournal.com]

"Dude.. fairy tales?" Sam pulled a face at his brother. "There is something we could do. Jess always liked it," he said, smiling faintly.

"Get me a list of a few things you think they should have on a date. Nice things. No dirty magazines. I can get the rest together in a box or a basket that they can take for a romantic.. um, yeah." Cas and Death getting romantic, his brain was taking awhile to wrap around that one. Still, he was happy for them both.

"Look, I heard that there's supposed to be some kinda party over at the house you're stuck in soon. If you see either one of them, try and convince them to come. I can bring it along."

[i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com]

Dean would have cracked on the romantic thing, but there was that minute of Jess and Dean just gave Sam that supportive look, that told him he understood and he was there for him. That was until he was asked for his list.

Dean cracked a grin and leaned over to the table, he snagged a piece of paper and got lucky in the drawer to find a piece of paper "Don't gotta send one, I'll write it down for you now, and make sure you don't forget none of it Sammy."

Dean leaned over the desk and scribbled the following words: beer (Cold), pie (Warm), magic fingers,Metallica lots of it, handcuffs. He handed the list to Sam "Yes, he needs the last one, you wanna make him turn in to a damn rainbow or not? Besides, Cas could stand to get some, hope he knows how to use it."

[hunter-returns.livejournal.com]

It was odd. He was finally able to say her name and be able to speak around the dull ache in his chest. Even taking out Azazel hadn't helped Sam get beyond that pain. Sam nodded at his brother's supportive glance. Sometimes that was all they needed, a quick glance.

Sam took the list, his eyes widening a little more as he looked further down. "Dude. You want me to give and angel handcuffs?" He pocketed the list, it should all be easy to put together. "All right, but I'm tellin him it was your idea. I'll bring it along when we head out."

[i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com]

"Oh c'mon, you can't tell me you won't pay to see Cas' face when he finds those." Dean shrugged when Sam said he would tell the angel it was from him, Dean was fine with that, he would take full responsibility for the handcuffs, wasn't worst he had done in his life after all.


"Damn, guess I better give this bastard a vote, huh? Too bad they don't give like over night passes or somethin', this thing is less like summer camp and more like prison."

[hunter-returns.livejournal.com]

Sam chuckled. It would be funny to see just how hard the angel would blush. He just hoped it wouldn't piss Cas off. "All right, man. I'll get everything together on this end." He'd just have to include some nicer things to offset the handcuffs.

Did angels even have se.. Nope. No. He was so not going to even finish thinking that question.

"I know," he said, his smile fading. "We'll find a way to get you out of there, Dean. We're not gonna leave you in there forever." While captivity didn't agree with Dean, standing outside feeling helpless agreed even less with his brother.

Vote: Slytherin

[i-shot-a-dick.livejournal.com]

"Good, I'll get in there and find out about those sigils before more idiots are in that house. " Valentine's Day or not, Dean would rather see Sam and his dad, than hang out with the other occupants of the house and if he got them inside, well they might find a way out


Dean was going there, if his list was any indicator the hunter was out to get Cas laid if he could.

Dean grinned and let his own feelings get buried, all it took was that fading smile from Sammy "Alright, don't start cryin' now, hell I'll be out at the next Sortin', not like you ain't never gonna see me again." It was an I'll miss you too bro as the limo pulled up and Dean groaned. He cast his vote before he said his goodbyes to his brother.