A Junkyard Dog ((application, Bobby Singer, Supernatural))

[junkyard-hunter.livejournal.com]

The first thing he realized was that he had a screaming headache. It wasn’t the kind that was brought on by spending too much time drinking, or even getting cracked on the head. The second thing was that his cheek was resting on something cool and hard. Stone? What the hell?

The hunter’s eyes snapped open and he pulled himself to his feet.

“Boys?”

He looked every bit an aging trucker or junkyard owner, barrel-chested, round-faced and solidly built. Not exactly rippling with muscle, but it was the build of someone who could take care of himself and his own. Even his attire screamed ‘blue collar’ with worn jeans, work boots, a heavy vest thrown over a checked flannel shirt. You’d think he simply walked off a salvage yard or hopped down off a rig until you met his eyes. They were bright and intelligent, quick to take in his situation.

Bobby scratched his beard and looked around. Angels had spirited Dean away more than once. What in the blue hell did they want with him?

“Dean? Sam?”

No answer. Not good.

State your name.

He looked down at the dictaquill. “You gotta be shitting me. Bobby Singer. Aren’t you supposed to already know that?”

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

“We’re in the middle of trying to stop the damn apocalypse, who cares about cheese? Why don’t you tell me..” he sighed and pushed his cap back. “All right, fine. A brick of Velveeta with some Hormel chili stirred into it. Goes damn good with Fritos and a beer.”

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Bobby snorted, “Do I have to choose? Both of ‘em are creepy and annoying.”

3. What time is it where you are?

“Hell if I know.” He pushed up his sleeve and checked his watch. “8:30. At least it was.”

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

“What the hell is a Dumbledore?” he muttered. “If you have to sexually harass someone, either you ain’t doin’ it right or they ain’t interested. If a coupla shots of Jack doesn’t do the trick, move on son.”

5. If you are pushing to be in:

1. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

“The Hunter’s Den,” he said roughly. It couldn’t be The Roadhouse. That was Ellen’s place. Both had been taken from him and he felt the loss keenly. 

2. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

“Gettin’ married is askin’ for trouble. They get caught up in the fight, and sometimes you lose em for good. How about I give you some examples of that? Hell, most mythologies don’t have happy endings, don’t you know that?”

3. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

Bobby snorted. “Paperwork? Who gives a shit? Look, I got stacks of books on demon lore, ghosts and things that’d make your hair stand on end. I know where everything is, even if no one else does. Keeps ‘em from messing with my stuff. Invent your own filing system.”

4. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

The old hunter bristled. “I’ve been a Hunter for more than twenty years, which is more than most can say. Most Hunters don’t live that long, don’t matter how good they are. I’ve survived demons, ghosts, hellhounds, vampires and meddling-ass angels. I can build a damn strong devil’s trap and I keep holy water in my beer incase someone gets posessed.” He folded his arms and huffed at the application. “Useless. Damn idjit.”

6.       Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

Bobby checked the pockets of his jeans, coat and vest before emptying them out. “Six shells packed with salt, a silver mirror, chalk and a flask of holy water.” He tapped his temple, “And enough knowledge of Enochian warding magic, demon lore and mythos to be pretty damn dangerous. I also run my own salvage yard. Good enough for you?”

 

I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG.   J_H

I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them.   I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch.  J_H

One day, marmalade will rule the world.  J_H

Comments

[g4llows-c.livejournal.com]

"As far as I can tell, it grabbed me out of an artificially created pocket universe," Terezi replied, "although I'm still not entirely convinced that this isn't another Sgrub abstraction. Anyway, I think there might be a few who wanted to be here, but yeah. Most of us got kidnapped."

[junkyard-hunter.livejournal.com]

"Sgrub? Haven't heard of it. So it yanks us here to teach us magic. Then.. what? Send us back on our merry way? I got a damn apocalypse to fight and two kids that'll get into more damn trouble if I'm not there to bail their asses out of it once in awhile," he groused.

[g4llows-c.livejournal.com]

She smirked. "I'm really not sure. I've heard rumors that sometimes people leave, but I don't know anyone who has. Mostly people hang around and make each other's lives difficult. They can't kill each other, though, apparently it's impossible to actually die at the school."

[junkyard-hunter.livejournal.com]

"Well ain't that handy?" he muttered.

"People try and kill each other a lot 'round here, do they? Damn. Know of anywhere I can lay my hands on some protection, magical or otherwise?"

[g4llows-c.livejournal.com]

"Library might be a good place to start to look for magical protection," Terezi said, after a moment's though, "although if you've already got some magical know-how you're ahead of most people. Mostly I try to keep my head down around people who smell dangerous."

[junkyard-hunter.livejournal.com]

"Smart idea. Sometimes it's better to duck a fight rather than get your ass handed to you. So what now? How do I get to the library?"

Vote: Gryffindor

[g4llows-c.livejournal.com]

"First you've got to wait for the Sorting Hat to show up and assign you a dormitory," she said. "Speaking of which, other students are supposed to vote for which you should go in. I'd say you're a pretty good fit for Gryffindor."

Re: Vote: Gryffindor

[junkyard-hunter.livejournal.com]

"A Sorting Hat? That some kind of important position?"

Re: Vote: Gryffindor

[g4llows-c.livejournal.com]

Terezi shrugged. "It's a hat. A talking hat that's in charge of housing assignments," she explained. "I have no idea why. Probably just because nothing about this place makes sense."

Re: Vote: Gryffindor

[junkyard-hunter.livejournal.com]

"I.." His mouth hung open for a long moment before he closed it with a snap. "This shit's just gonna keep getting weirder, isn't it?"

Re: Vote: Gryffindor

[g4llows-c.livejournal.com]

"Well, it hasn't stopped getting weirder yet," Terezi confirmed. "If you ever figure out what's actually going on, I'm sure there's a lot of people here who'd like to know."