A Junkyard Dog ((application, Bobby Singer, Supernatural))

[junkyard-hunter.livejournal.com]

The first thing he realized was that he had a screaming headache. It wasn’t the kind that was brought on by spending too much time drinking, or even getting cracked on the head. The second thing was that his cheek was resting on something cool and hard. Stone? What the hell?

The hunter’s eyes snapped open and he pulled himself to his feet.

“Boys?”

He looked every bit an aging trucker or junkyard owner, barrel-chested, round-faced and solidly built. Not exactly rippling with muscle, but it was the build of someone who could take care of himself and his own. Even his attire screamed ‘blue collar’ with worn jeans, work boots, a heavy vest thrown over a checked flannel shirt. You’d think he simply walked off a salvage yard or hopped down off a rig until you met his eyes. They were bright and intelligent, quick to take in his situation.

Bobby scratched his beard and looked around. Angels had spirited Dean away more than once. What in the blue hell did they want with him?

“Dean? Sam?”

No answer. Not good.

State your name.

He looked down at the dictaquill. “You gotta be shitting me. Bobby Singer. Aren’t you supposed to already know that?”

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

“We’re in the middle of trying to stop the damn apocalypse, who cares about cheese? Why don’t you tell me..” he sighed and pushed his cap back. “All right, fine. A brick of Velveeta with some Hormel chili stirred into it. Goes damn good with Fritos and a beer.”

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Bobby snorted, “Do I have to choose? Both of ‘em are creepy and annoying.”

3. What time is it where you are?

“Hell if I know.” He pushed up his sleeve and checked his watch. “8:30. At least it was.”

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

“What the hell is a Dumbledore?” he muttered. “If you have to sexually harass someone, either you ain’t doin’ it right or they ain’t interested. If a coupla shots of Jack doesn’t do the trick, move on son.”

5. If you are pushing to be in:

1. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

“The Hunter’s Den,” he said roughly. It couldn’t be The Roadhouse. That was Ellen’s place. Both had been taken from him and he felt the loss keenly. 

2. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

“Gettin’ married is askin’ for trouble. They get caught up in the fight, and sometimes you lose em for good. How about I give you some examples of that? Hell, most mythologies don’t have happy endings, don’t you know that?”

3. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

Bobby snorted. “Paperwork? Who gives a shit? Look, I got stacks of books on demon lore, ghosts and things that’d make your hair stand on end. I know where everything is, even if no one else does. Keeps ‘em from messing with my stuff. Invent your own filing system.”

4. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

The old hunter bristled. “I’ve been a Hunter for more than twenty years, which is more than most can say. Most Hunters don’t live that long, don’t matter how good they are. I’ve survived demons, ghosts, hellhounds, vampires and meddling-ass angels. I can build a damn strong devil’s trap and I keep holy water in my beer incase someone gets posessed.” He folded his arms and huffed at the application. “Useless. Damn idjit.”

6.       Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

Bobby checked the pockets of his jeans, coat and vest before emptying them out. “Six shells packed with salt, a silver mirror, chalk and a flask of holy water.” He tapped his temple, “And enough knowledge of Enochian warding magic, demon lore and mythos to be pretty damn dangerous. I also run my own salvage yard. Good enough for you?”

 

I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG.   J_H

I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them.   I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch.  J_H

One day, marmalade will rule the world.  J_H

Comments

[g4llows-c.livejournal.com]

Humans, as a rule, did not impress Terezi. This guy, however, seemed like he might actually last more than a few minutes on her home planet, which was more than she could say for just about anyone else she'd met.

Well, either that or he'd get himself killed even more quickly because he assumed he knew what he was dealing with. She supposed that was possible, as well.

Anyway, someone that looks a lot like a lanky thirteen-year-old girl with gray skin and horns approaches Bobby, grinning and showing quite a lot of very sharp teeth. "From what I've met so far, 'not useless' is kind of the exception to the rule," she comments.

[junkyard-hunter.livejournal.com]

Bobby grunted, eyeing the.. (girl?) carefully. He had seen very dangerous things in smaller, cuter packages before. And because said packages were dangerous, he would have to be careful.

"Then why ask the question? I've met my share of damned useless people, but they were the ones that thought they were oh-so important. Like most angels," he cited, watching her for the slightest reaction. "All talk about some "great plan" but in the middle of real trouble? They won't do shit."

All but one angel, anyway.

[g4llows-c.livejournal.com]

"Angels? Those're the big old bird-winged demons, right?" Yeah, Terezi isn't so up on human mythology, and troll culture doesn't really have an equivalent. Also most of her knowledge of comparative religion comes from talking to a Juggalo. "From what I'd heard, those were the ones the universe used when it actually wanted to get shit done."

[joachim-armster.livejournal.com]

"Demons, ghosts, hellhounds, vampires, angels," Joachim repeated, an amused lilt colouring his vaguely European accent. "Why, that's half of the student body and faculty here—and let's not forget the dragons. I should like to see one of these hunting trips of yours."

Joachim was among that esteemed company, but was likely to be misidentified in his current form—that of a horse-sized, silver-furred Warg. He'd enjoyed playing up the 'hellhound' angle with Batiatus, and thought nothing of misleading another. Besides, a giant wolf just looked much cooler than his bat or inhumanly pretty humanoid forms did, since virtually everyone at Hogwarts was inhumanly pretty if they were bipedal. Tough crowd to stand out in these days.

He paced around the man at a fairly respectable distance, his unusually long canine teeth bared in a wolfish grin. "The odds aren't in your favour, Hunter. But don't let that discourage you..."

[junkyard-hunter.livejournal.com]

Bobby leaned forward slightly, balancing his weight on the balls of his feet, his mind racing. It was too big to be a werewolf. The accent was European.. when in the blue fuck did they learn how to talk? None of his books mentioned the damn things talking. He returned the wolfish grin with one of his own, slowly pivoting to keep his eye on it. “Never has in the past, furball. I’ve gone up against ‘em all and I’m still standin’.”

Anything that could have penetrated the powerful warding magic on his house was enough to make Bobby worry. And when he got worried, he tended to get pissed off. He gripped the silver mirror, prepared to use it as a weapon if necessary. And what are you talking about anyway? Where am I?”

[joachim-armster.livejournal.com]

"Furball. How dreadfully original," Joachim replied dryly. "I'll hope your skills are a bit sharper than your wits if you plan to do any hunting here." As Hogwarts threats went, Joachim was downright benevolent compared to some of the other nasties—unless provoked or very bored, in which case he knew of some pretty creative torture methods using his psionic abilities alone. Wouldn't do to get his own hands dirty, after all. But he was neither at the moment, and in fact liked when people had the fortitude to stand up to him.

"Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," he answered, "ostensibly a school to learn magic at, in reality a 'haven' run by an enchanted, talking hat, for misfits, monsters, perverts, murderers and rapists. The human population here is certainly included in that, I'll have you know," he said with a disdainful sniff. "You'll also find it exceedingly difficult to actually exterminate anyone on school grounds, but by all means, do your worst. Livens the place up. We do have our share of resident pests, those wee scurrying cockroaches with god complexes... Ah, and there are several actual deities here as well."

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

"This one has found obsidian to be more useful as a mirror," Kusuriyuri replied. On his back was his case. He'd been intending to head to the forest to harvest more when the applicant's answers attracted his attention. He tilted his head slightly. "Though, it would depend on what responds to you and what the mirror is for." His head straightened. "Though, this one would be interested in Enochian warding. He is unfamiliar with it."

[junkyard-hunter.livejournal.com]

Bobby shook his head, “Never had much luck with obsidian, chips too easy and my scrying sucks. A silver mirror gives a little extra punch to a warding and you can use it to smash the face of a shapeshifter or anything else that don’t like silver.”

“It’s fairly complicated, but it’ll keep out any demon or it’ll keep you off demonic and angelic radar. If you’re good enough, it’ll do all of the above. You got much experience with warding magic?” He had been pretty good with Enochian wards and that was before Castiel had given him a crash course in the seriously advanced stuff. The angel was an odd one, but Bobby wasn’t about to turn away a chance to protect himself or the boys.

[edomedpeddler.livejournal.com]

"This one is an exorcist," Kusuriyuri replied. "He exorcises mononoke." He tilted his head slightly. "Wards are a part of that." He stepped forward a little. "These wards of yours, they would block all demons from knowing, or just some?" he asked.

[rat-bstrd.livejournal.com]

Rat moved in carefully, unsure how the guy would take some punk kid showing up. In truth the guy reminded him of a friend of his, a tattoo artist.
"Hey" he ventured. "Good thing you got that experience. Most people who come here aren't as prepared. They freak out."

Oh yeah, he was totally going to try to mooch some holy water.

[junkyard-hunter.livejournal.com]

Bobby had a soft spot for punk kids, especially those who had a rough time of it. Hell, that's how he fell in with the Winchesters in the first place.

"Yeah? You wanna tell me what we're up against? Ghosts? Demons? That damn Trickster?"

[rat-bstrd.livejournal.com]

He didn't seem hostile. Good.
"There are different things here. Vampires for one. I saw them advertising for a group. Don't know if that's for real or just a bunch of fake-fang wearers trying to sucker people." Rat neglected to mention that his own sister was a vampire fangirl. "There are dragons in the woods, though."
He thought about mentioning the hat, but decided it wouldn't help his cause to sound batshit insane so early on.

"I could really use some holy water, though, just in case. Tell you what, man. If you've got any extra, I'll vote you into whatever house you want."

[ringo-raver.livejournal.com]

"HAHAAHAHHA! Oh that's a good one!" Ryuk said, laughing in midair. "He thinks the apocalypse is happening!"

[junkyard-hunter.livejournal.com]

"I don't think it's happening, idjit," he grumbled. "I know it's happening. Last of the 66 Seals was opened, Lucifer broke out of prison.. pretty much Endgame in most people's book."

His eyes narrowed, "What the hell are you anyway?"

[ringo-raver.livejournal.com]

"HAHAHAHAHA! Stop, stop, you'll make apple go up my nose!" Ryuk said, snorting. "Apocalypse. How silly! Then where would we get our humans?"

[beyourvalentine.livejournal.com]

"You...exorcise demons?" Vincent asked, intrigued despite his rather subdued body language.

It...he didn't want to get rid of the demons inside him, it was his punishment after all, but knowing there was an avenue available...was comforting. He wondered if it would be possible to ever return to his human life again.

Probably not.

[junkyard-hunter.livejournal.com]

"Yeah. I've done it before. Create the right devil's trap to keep it stuck so it can't jump bodies, then it's just a matter of the right words. If it's really pissy, holy water and salt gets their attention."

His expression turned grim, "Sometimes they use a binding ward to try and make sure they don't get kicked out. One of the bastards did that to Sam. But we kicked it's smoky ass all the way back to hell."

[serrulata.livejournal.com]

"Which Apocalypse?" Kurama asked from the doorway. He usually avoided the sorting room, but hearing talk of the perpetual End Of Days drew him back. Sure he'd been down another hallway and on his way to the greenhouses with his lunch (pizza, ordered out from Hogsmeade instead of trusting the house elves with the fragile balance of the sauce to toppings ratio, which they always got wrong) but this was a topic of personal interest. In his lifetime he'd almost caused and helped evade apocalypses at least once a century, and once every few months in the few years before Hogwarts.

All part and parcel with being a Kitsune. His people were notorious for trouble.

[junkyard-hunter.livejournal.com]

Mmm. Pizza.
The smell of the pizza caught Bobby's attention before Kurama's comment did. He cocked his head at the speaker.

"Whatddya mean, which one? There's only one Apocalypse kid, the one that starts with the breaking of 66 Seals and Lucifer breaking out of jail."

[calligraphywolf.livejournal.com]

Amaterasu may not have been omniscient in her earthly form, but she was still a pretty good judge of character, and this guy seemed like one of the good'uns despite the gruff exterior. She circled him sniffing his pant legs, blooming flora sprouting right from the stone floor and trailing her steps. If that didn't make it obvious that she was no regular wolf, her divine crimson markings (http://pics.livejournal.com/calligraphywolf/gallery/000016sb) and the flaming reflector she wore on her back should have. It actually took a special brand of ignorance and lack of faith for mortals to be blind to who she was — in which case they tended to see nothing more than a regular white wolf.

Her inspection of Bobby done, she reared back balancing on her hind legs with her front paws on the application table, and nosed at the items he was offering. So those were the demon hunting tools humans used these days? The silver mirror was interesting, a bit similar to some of her own weapons.

A glowing green, insect-sized sprite crawled out of Amaterasu's fur and hopped onto her head: Issun had chosen that moment to make his appearance and facilitate conversation.

"Hey pops," the Poncle greeted Bobby and looked him over. Funny clothes. The guy definitely wasn't from Nippon. "Welcome to Hogwarts! It may lack babes lately, but makes up for it with plentiful sake, heh heh. I'm Issun the Wandering Artist, and this here's Amaterasu! Looks like she's taken a liking to you. You must be something..." He jumped from Amaterasu's head onto a copy of the application on the table and looked it over. "Hmm. Demons and spirits, huh?"

((Reposted to fix something.))

[junkyard-hunter.livejournal.com]

Bobby had kept dogs most of his life, so his first instinct was to scritch at the wolf’s ears as she sized him up. While he didn’t get the same antagonisitic vibe from her as he did from the Warg he had been arguing with, Bobby managed to keep his fingers still, figuring that she might not appreciate the gesture. It was a little more than apparent that she was a supernatural ha! creature and his mind raced to put the clues together and figure out who or what he was dealing with. The plants, red markings and flame spoke of some sort of Earth spirit, but he was having a hell of a time determining which one.

“Who’re you calling pops, shorty?” he grumped. His age had become something of a sore spot this past year. Spending time in a wheelchair will do that to a guy. Before he could continue his grousing he turned and stared at the wolf who was nosing at his things. “Wait. That’s Amaterasu? As in Amaterasu-omikami?” His accent was surprisingly good, almost native-grade.

He stopped staring at Amaterasu and turned his attention to focus on Issun. “Yeah. Demons, ghosts, angels, whole ball o’wax.”

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

"Warding magic and demon lore, hmmmm?"

The Hat circled close and whispered its confidences to Bobby.

"Just between you and me ... we have a little infestation here. An infestation of Canadian Weasley bears. We haven't had an expert to deal with them in years (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/482723.html?thread=23885987#t23885987). Think you can help?"

[junkyard-hunter.livejournal.com]

"Don't think I've heard of them. That some kind of magical animal? I ain't had much experience in that, but I can probably rig something up."

((OOC))

[junkyard-hunter.livejournal.com]

*coughs politely*

Gryffindor!

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Your bribe has been accepted! Welcome to Gryffindor.