Application: Cyd "Codex" Sherman, "The Guild"

[codex-of-good.livejournal.com]

She had not left her house in a week.

This was not entirely unusual--mild agoraphobia was just one of the reasons she had gone to a therapist for years. Until the break-up. How many people had their therapists break up with them? It wasn't good for self esteem. And while Codex had been doing so much better lately (she had hosted a party however unintentionally and actually gone out in the sun recently!) the stress of recent events had made her a bit twitchy.

More than a bit. She was pretty sure she had been on the edge of a psychotic breakdown. The events of the big LAN party versus those d-bags the Axis of Anarchy had really driven that point home.

So when, for the first time in a week, she opened the door to the apartment that she was back to sharing with Zaboo, it somehow made perfect sense that she stepped into a room that looked right out of the keeps of the end-game dungeons.

"Oh god," she said in a small voice. "She was right. I've snapped."



State your full name.
"Codex. I mean, Cyd! Cyd Sherman. C-Y-D. And... no, it's not short for anything. So you can call me Cyd, or Codex, or... I mean, I'll probably answer to Codex faster. It's my, um, online name. For my game. So... yeah. Actually--actually, it might not be healthy for you to call me Codex, because she's totally not real and just my avatar in-game, but... yeah, just call me Codex."

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"Oh, that's easy! Mage cheese brings back HP and mana! And if I eat it for ten seconds or longer, I get a buff to spirit and spellpower, and my heals go way, way up. ...except I bet you meant in real life. Yeah. I guess cheddar is okay."

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Which one drops better loot?" She giggled and shook her head, covering her mouth with one hand. "I'm kidding. I don't really do the whole agressive thing. At least not in real life. I like killing things in-game, and my therapist said that I'm sublimating my aggressive urges and using the game as a way to control my own life, but... the point is I wouldn't actually kill anyone in real life. Set their cello on fire, sure, but not kill."

3. What time is it where you are?
"It's..." Codex pulled her cell phone out of its holster and flipped it open, eyes widening. "Oh god, I'm going to be late for today's raid if I don't get out of here soon. They can't make it without a healer, you guys! And I don't trust PUG healers to do as well as me."

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"I can't do that! I'm not good with guys! Especially not harassing them. Mostly I just talk and babble and make an idiot of myself, and then my stupid guildie makes out with them behind my back, or I wake up in bed with them and had absolutely no intention of it because the guy was such a jerk but... Oh, I'm no good at this at all."

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Oh god. Way to put me on the spot. I don't have the best experience with bars, so... Cheesybeard's? It's not a bar, it's a restaurant, but I go there a lot these days and they do serve mixed drinks and there is no way that I could bartend there. I mean, first of all, it involves actually talking with people. And I'm not so good with that. Obviously. I mean, I'm getting better, but that doesn't mean I want to go out and voluntarily interact with people. Especially non-game people. Does that make any sense?"

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"So Harry's gay? That's no problem! I have absolutely no problem with that. In fact, my dad's gay. And my ex-boyfriend. The, um, one whose cello I set on fire. I caught him with the first chair oboe, and... But anyway, that's all in the past. And my therapist said that neither one was my fault at all. I can't really... I'm not good with interpersonal relationships, and I'm not really comfortable offering relationship advice when my personal life is so... I mean, not that I'm a leper or anything. I talk to plenty of guys! Mostly through Vent. But that totally counts, right? Right?"

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Is your boss old? Because a lot of old people don't know how to use the internet. So you should talk to him or her, because women can be powerful and we are if we put our minds to it, and talk about taking internet classes and switching to email. It's good for the environment, too!"

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
"Well... my therapist said I'm not? I'm a level 80 priest, and the main healer in my guild, the Knights of Good. I led the us for a while when Vork decided to go find himself or something! And then we fell apart, but I got us all back together! And I can play violin pretty well? I used to be a child prodigy. But that only lasts so long, and then you get old. I still work at a restaurant playing for tips. Sometimes. It pays the bills. Oh, and I'm a good cook! One time, for a party, I made cookies shaped like medieval weapons! The frosted maces were a hit." She giggled. "Get it? A hit? ...no, I guess it wasn't a very good joke."

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"Well, I could PL you through the game. Okay, so we'd probably still want a tank since I'm a healer and therefore squishy, but I think I have enough gear and HP to run someone through some level 20 and under dungeons alone. Or I could... um... play the violin? Offer lessons? I don't have any real marketable skills. It's why I don't have a steady job. Well, that and Vork likes running raids during the normal nine-to-five work days, because there's less people on and therefore less lag."

I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Codex
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Codex
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Codex
One day, marmalade will rule the world. Codex

Comments

[codex-of-good.livejournal.com]

"Oh god."

There was a guy talking to her. A reasonably attractive strange guy. Who just called her "fair maid."

This was not at all normal.

But talk of levels and dungeons were right up her alley, and she smiled stiffly and awkwardly back at him. "Yeah, the grind sucked. But I had some good people to play with--mostly--and once we actually got ourselves organized and back on schedule, the instances and raids weren't so bad. There was lots of new gear in this expansion, too. I'm working on getting an epic priest staff! I'm still wearing a blue, even if it's one of the new drops, and I want to replace it with a purple so bad."

[arrogantmage.livejournal.com]

The color-coding of healers' accoutrements mattered little to an alchemist-turned-necromancer; the blue and purple business Lezard did not care to inquire about. Mages of Midgard had, when last he visited, all used staves equipped with a Blue Bludgeon Rune, but that had not been the case during the period of time in which Lezard came of age (which had actually been some centuries later). What interested Lezard here was the girl's appreciation for epic weaponry.

"For the right staff, any amount of tedium is not too much." With an odd admixture of shyness and pride, he offered: "I have the Wand of Apocalypse, if you should care to see it. That, and the Holy Wand of Telos." And Monster Manifesto, though he alone could equip that wand-turned-book.

[codex-of-good.livejournal.com]

Codex's eyes widened. The Wand of the Apocalypse sounded more like a warlock's weapon, but the Holy Wand of Telos sounded like it would be fitting for a priest. Come on, it was right there in the name! Holy.

"The second one," she stammered, expecting to see a laptop or iPhone app linking the weapon from the online armory. "Which MMO are you playing, because that one doesn't sound like the ones that I looked up a couple of weeks ago. Ooh, or are you on a test server and got one from the new patch?"

[arrogantmage.livejournal.com]

Lezard sighed. His back stiffened. "I see. You are one of those who believes magic is not real, I suppose." But the terms she'd used, the way she spoke, these were so like the learning he had received in Flenceburg! Unreasonably he felt as though she'd tricked him somehow. "I assure you it is no game. Where do you think you are?"

[codex-of-good.livejournal.com]

"Believes magic is... what? I'm having a psychotic break. Obviously. Finally. It was only a matter of time, I guess, with the pressure and my therapist blocking my number, and... I mean, I was just in my apartment, so I can't be here, so obviously I'm crazy. Right?"

[arrogantmage.livejournal.com]

Lezard was beginning to understand why Professor Snape reacted with such bitterness to certain tendencies in Sortees. However, Lezard being Lezard, he also saw possibilities in those tendencies where Snape would see only insult.

"That could be," he mused in a voice either silky or cheesy (audience mileage may very) in its smoothness. (Nacho-cheesy, perhaps. Think that Velveeta consistency.) "If you are indeed insane, what will you do next? There are no consequences to the actions of an insane person."

[codex-of-good.livejournal.com]

Codex had plenty of experience with cheesy guy voices. They were pretty much a given via Vent when guys realized that there was an actual girl behind the in-game avatar. However, she was not at all used to them in person.

"I--um--I don't know? And I think there are kind of consequences. I could end up in a mental hospital or something. Or I could become a hobo. Homeless person. I don't know what you're supposed to call them, but they smell funny and they're always saying weird things."

[arrogantmage.livejournal.com]

"Whether you speak madness is entirely your choice, but you will not need to, hm, smell other than you wish to smell." Lezard demonstrated with a wandless version of Scourgify. All over Codex. With mun permission, but not with IC consent or warning.

[codex-of-good.livejournal.com]

Weird. Weird. It was like walking through a car wash, except without the water and hot wax and noise.

"What the hell was that?" she demanded. Freaked out Codex had two settings, mousy/terrified and Holy Smackdown of the Geek Kind. She had already done the one, and was now well into the other without noticing. Except without the anger, and yelling.

[arrogantmage.livejournal.com]

"Magic," replied a smug mage. "Or perhaps your imagination, if you prefer to think so?"

[codex-of-good.livejournal.com]

"No, I don't think--my imagination isn't that active." Said the person who, a week earlier, had found herself face to face with her in-game avatar, who had offered her advice and told her to stop being such a n00b. "Okay, so. Magic. Now what?"

[arrogantmage.livejournal.com]

Oh, good, she hadn't gone off half-cocked with silliness about consensual enchantments and all that other ethical hogwash that Lezard's instructors had routinely harped upon. Lezard did so hate it when people got fussy about his casting magic upon them without warning. What was the good of magic if you warned everyone before you hexed or otherwise altered them?

Besides, a little cleaning spell had never hurt anyone. Primavera used to say it was tingly, like a good visit to a spa, whatever a spa was. Never mind that Primavera's epidermis was stronger than human-standard

"Now," said Lezard, "whatever you wish is what happens, because you will have the power to make it so, or if you do not, you will know people who do."

[codex-of-good.livejournal.com]

Had Codex known there was in fact a taboo against enchanting others without their permission, she might have raised a bit more of a fuss. As it was, the spell was harmless enough, and did leave her smelling oddly minty-fresh. She really couldn't argue with that. "I, um... what?" Also, if I can do that too, can you tell me how, because I bet that would really save on laundry money."