Application: Cyd "Codex" Sherman, "The Guild"

[codex-of-good.livejournal.com]

She had not left her house in a week.

This was not entirely unusual--mild agoraphobia was just one of the reasons she had gone to a therapist for years. Until the break-up. How many people had their therapists break up with them? It wasn't good for self esteem. And while Codex had been doing so much better lately (she had hosted a party however unintentionally and actually gone out in the sun recently!) the stress of recent events had made her a bit twitchy.

More than a bit. She was pretty sure she had been on the edge of a psychotic breakdown. The events of the big LAN party versus those d-bags the Axis of Anarchy had really driven that point home.

So when, for the first time in a week, she opened the door to the apartment that she was back to sharing with Zaboo, it somehow made perfect sense that she stepped into a room that looked right out of the keeps of the end-game dungeons.

"Oh god," she said in a small voice. "She was right. I've snapped."



State your full name.
"Codex. I mean, Cyd! Cyd Sherman. C-Y-D. And... no, it's not short for anything. So you can call me Cyd, or Codex, or... I mean, I'll probably answer to Codex faster. It's my, um, online name. For my game. So... yeah. Actually--actually, it might not be healthy for you to call me Codex, because she's totally not real and just my avatar in-game, but... yeah, just call me Codex."

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"Oh, that's easy! Mage cheese brings back HP and mana! And if I eat it for ten seconds or longer, I get a buff to spirit and spellpower, and my heals go way, way up. ...except I bet you meant in real life. Yeah. I guess cheddar is okay."

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Which one drops better loot?" She giggled and shook her head, covering her mouth with one hand. "I'm kidding. I don't really do the whole agressive thing. At least not in real life. I like killing things in-game, and my therapist said that I'm sublimating my aggressive urges and using the game as a way to control my own life, but... the point is I wouldn't actually kill anyone in real life. Set their cello on fire, sure, but not kill."

3. What time is it where you are?
"It's..." Codex pulled her cell phone out of its holster and flipped it open, eyes widening. "Oh god, I'm going to be late for today's raid if I don't get out of here soon. They can't make it without a healer, you guys! And I don't trust PUG healers to do as well as me."

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"I can't do that! I'm not good with guys! Especially not harassing them. Mostly I just talk and babble and make an idiot of myself, and then my stupid guildie makes out with them behind my back, or I wake up in bed with them and had absolutely no intention of it because the guy was such a jerk but... Oh, I'm no good at this at all."

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Oh god. Way to put me on the spot. I don't have the best experience with bars, so... Cheesybeard's? It's not a bar, it's a restaurant, but I go there a lot these days and they do serve mixed drinks and there is no way that I could bartend there. I mean, first of all, it involves actually talking with people. And I'm not so good with that. Obviously. I mean, I'm getting better, but that doesn't mean I want to go out and voluntarily interact with people. Especially non-game people. Does that make any sense?"

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"So Harry's gay? That's no problem! I have absolutely no problem with that. In fact, my dad's gay. And my ex-boyfriend. The, um, one whose cello I set on fire. I caught him with the first chair oboe, and... But anyway, that's all in the past. And my therapist said that neither one was my fault at all. I can't really... I'm not good with interpersonal relationships, and I'm not really comfortable offering relationship advice when my personal life is so... I mean, not that I'm a leper or anything. I talk to plenty of guys! Mostly through Vent. But that totally counts, right? Right?"

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Is your boss old? Because a lot of old people don't know how to use the internet. So you should talk to him or her, because women can be powerful and we are if we put our minds to it, and talk about taking internet classes and switching to email. It's good for the environment, too!"

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
"Well... my therapist said I'm not? I'm a level 80 priest, and the main healer in my guild, the Knights of Good. I led the us for a while when Vork decided to go find himself or something! And then we fell apart, but I got us all back together! And I can play violin pretty well? I used to be a child prodigy. But that only lasts so long, and then you get old. I still work at a restaurant playing for tips. Sometimes. It pays the bills. Oh, and I'm a good cook! One time, for a party, I made cookies shaped like medieval weapons! The frosted maces were a hit." She giggled. "Get it? A hit? ...no, I guess it wasn't a very good joke."

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"Well, I could PL you through the game. Okay, so we'd probably still want a tank since I'm a healer and therefore squishy, but I think I have enough gear and HP to run someone through some level 20 and under dungeons alone. Or I could... um... play the violin? Offer lessons? I don't have any real marketable skills. It's why I don't have a steady job. Well, that and Vork likes running raids during the normal nine-to-five work days, because there's less people on and therefore less lag."

I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Codex
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Codex
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Codex
One day, marmalade will rule the world. Codex

Comments

[arrogantmage.livejournal.com]

Lezard Valeth did not swish into the Sorting Room. His cloak did some swishing, admittedly. Utterly ignorant of music videos, he'd never grasped that a magically fluttering cloak stirred by no palpable wind was no longer what might be called an impressive visual effect.

One of these days he was going to coax mystical fog to rise from the very stones of Hogwarts' floors, and some sassy Muggle would finally tell him about fog machines. (Still, you couldn't rent teleportation from a party store. They couldn't take that away from him! Only ... most wizards of legal age could Apparate ...)

In any event, he did not swish, though his cloak swished. No, he strode in manful fashion, bedecked in his usual LARPtastic ensemble. Stray locks of hair flopped over the rims of his glasses. He could really use a haircut.

"Well met, fair maid," he said in his Smoove B cultivated voice. The one he somehow taught himself between the first and second Valkyrie Profile games. It took a speedy reader to get through the millions of pages of what Midgard called symbolically the Philosopher's Stone, and the average Hogwarts application took Lezard much less time than it should have taken. He was able within seconds to pick out the good bits.

"Level eighty, you say? This would have required much dreary trudging through dungeons, I am sure. I applaud your patience." Lezard knew only all too well how dreary it could be. He'd had to feign ordinary mortal frailty while traveling with the Princess Alicia. And the rest of her party had needed to do a lot of leveling up.

[codex-of-good.livejournal.com]

"Oh god."

There was a guy talking to her. A reasonably attractive strange guy. Who just called her "fair maid."

This was not at all normal.

But talk of levels and dungeons were right up her alley, and she smiled stiffly and awkwardly back at him. "Yeah, the grind sucked. But I had some good people to play with--mostly--and once we actually got ourselves organized and back on schedule, the instances and raids weren't so bad. There was lots of new gear in this expansion, too. I'm working on getting an epic priest staff! I'm still wearing a blue, even if it's one of the new drops, and I want to replace it with a purple so bad."

[arrogantmage.livejournal.com]

The color-coding of healers' accoutrements mattered little to an alchemist-turned-necromancer; the blue and purple business Lezard did not care to inquire about. Mages of Midgard had, when last he visited, all used staves equipped with a Blue Bludgeon Rune, but that had not been the case during the period of time in which Lezard came of age (which had actually been some centuries later). What interested Lezard here was the girl's appreciation for epic weaponry.

"For the right staff, any amount of tedium is not too much." With an odd admixture of shyness and pride, he offered: "I have the Wand of Apocalypse, if you should care to see it. That, and the Holy Wand of Telos." And Monster Manifesto, though he alone could equip that wand-turned-book.

[fr-ickingbig.livejournal.com]

((I hate HTML and the lack of an edit button.))

The very large, silver horse didn't do human expressions very well due to his equine facial structure. But Francium was pretty clearly thinking something like 'Wait, what?'

"Could you...slow down and explain?" The horse asked, and bent his front legs to get a better look at the nervous person. "Frankly, I don't understand a word you're saying, human." The black Fr on his side rippled. If this woman thought she was mad, a giant talking silver horse would kind of confirm it.

[codex-of-good.livejournal.com]

((Gotta love it.))

For nearly a minute, Codex did not say anything. Or even move. She just kind of... stared, trying to make her eyes and ears and brain understand each other. The connection was just not being made. First off, despite having four different colored horse mounts in-game (she even had a pink one from doing the Valentine's Day quest line!) she had never actually seen a horse in person. She was reasonably sure that silver horses with letters on their side was not a common color. And she was entirely sure that they did not talk.

"Pardon?" she finally squeaked.

[fr-ickingbig.livejournal.com]

For that minute, Francium just scraped at the ground, distracted by a ladybug that had somehow gotten inside. Copper-colored!

Finally, at the squeak, the horse glanced back at the human. "You didn't make any sense when you were talking to the feather," the silver horse elucidated, then raised his front right hoof when the ladybug crawled on it. "I have to show this to the others..." he mused. They didn't have these pretty insects in Science.

[ringo-raver.livejournal.com]

"Heheheh." Just because Ryuk was a human right now doesn't mean he can't fuck with people's heads. "I can't wait until I'm back in my normal body so I can see your name. It probably is Cyd. I will have so much fun calling you that."

[codex-of-good.livejournal.com]

Codex blinked a few times at the new weird guy. "That's just fine," she said. "I mean, my real name is Cyd. It's just that there aren't many people who call me that. I don't really care."

[ringo-raver.livejournal.com]

Ryuk looked visibly disappointed. "Aww, you're no fun." He stood up straight. "Ooh, I should go find Mello and poke fun at him! He'd be all 'hey, who's the stranger who knows my real name?'."

Never mind that since Ryuk was now temporarily human, he could now be hurt.

[junotechsupport.livejournal.com]

"I think that's why a few of my teammates know Dia spells. So they're never caught up short when they need to be healed. And then Minato can switch Personas at will, so he helps out too. Even I can sometimes heal, a little bit. I can't fully control that, though." Stupid Juno, reducing us to one HP/one SP. Jerk.

[codex-of-good.livejournal.com]

"...is that from a JRPG or something? I pretty much just stick to MMOs. I never got the hang of a lot of the control schemes in other games. Oh, and FPS games make me kind of nauseous." She shuddered, remembering the one time she had tried to play Halo with Stupid Tall Hot Girl Riley. Ugh. Major vertigo.

[junotechsupport.livejournal.com]

"JRPG?" Fuuka asked. "No, I mean for real. I'm part of a group of people that fight creatures known as Shadows."

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

God, I haven't heard so much talk of HP and crap since Matt found the joys of MMORPG.

"Living your life around a game is ridiculous," I say. "Shows a lack of control and social intelligence. None of your HP is going to correct that."

[codex-of-good.livejournal.com]

"I have plenty of control!" she said, wilting despite that. It really wasn't an argument she hadn't heard before--many times, from everyone to her therapist to her mom, and even a few customers at the restaurant--and pre-Zaboo invasion she might have just ran off and cried in a corner. But at least her near psychotic break had given her a measure of confidence. "And I can confidently tell you that I'm just fine socially." Despite all evidence to the contrary, and there was a lot of that. "MMOs are great for social interaction. And also, is it any worse than people who get really wrapped up in fantasy football?"

Oh god. Anxiety attack. Too many words at once to somebody she'd never met before. Codex was suddenly very green and very short of breath.

[igorofmalaria.livejournal.com]

Igor, still experiencing the effects of the potion. ((see picture)) wandered into the sorting room from the Great Hall and paused to read the application. Well, parts of the application anyway. Very selective parts, from which he drew his own conclusions.

"What's an Avatar? Is it anything like robotic armor? What sort of gear are you bribing people with?"
Work could wait if there was a chance for free stuff.

"I'd love to see any cutting-edge stuff, but I don't need any standard guns or armor." He paused. "Actually, if I raised an army of human-animal hybrids or zombies then traditional gear might come in handy. But I'm not at a stage where I could do that now" he concluded sadly.

[codex-of-good.livejournal.com]

As evidenced by her answers, she was entirely unused to being talked to by guys. In person, anyway; it was easy over a voice chat client because there was no looking involved and no "oh god where do I look and what do I do with my hands" awkwardness.

"N-no. My avatar's--it's a representation of me in the game I play. Online. So it's not real at all."

...ooookay. Codex stared and smiled nervously. "...I'm guessing you don't play a necromancer class or something? Please say you do? Please?" She wasn't sure she could handle the thought of somebody actually trying to make hybrids or zombies or whatever. She could barely watch horror movies.

[hot-german.livejournal.com]

Dieter was wearing a winning smile, and not a whole lot else besides a white terrycloth towel around his midsection. "I'd love for you to teach me something!" he said. Anything. The German was not picky.

[codex-of-good.livejournal.com]

Oh. God.

Hot guy. Hot guy with an accent. Hot guy with an accent in a towel. Codex wanted nothing more than to melt into the floor and avoid notice forever.

She tried to say hello, but it came out as more of a squeak akin to a trapped mouse. First impression: ruined.

[senorcyborg.livejournal.com]

"Wow. So you're a real gamer geek, I take it. Like one of those hardcore ones," Victor said by way of greeting. Gamer geek, meet Hogwarts' resident cyborg. "You probably won't like it much here. The technology's seriously lacking, and good luck getting a working internet connection. Unless you're like... uh... There's a few of us, I think, that've figured out workarounds when necessary. But I'm not sure any of us are exactly human."

[codex-of-good.livejournal.com]

Okay, here was a guy she wasn't totally threatened by. He couldn't have been much older than Bladezz. "I stick to MMOs," she said. "I'm not--I don't really do console gaming. And, um, what do you mean lack of working internet connection? There's people here, there's got to be at least--" she shuddered visibly-- "dial-up. And, um, what do you mean by 'exactly human?'"

Here's Nemo!

[nemofound.livejournal.com]

Since Codex feared she was going crazy, it probably wouldn't help matters much that the next student to come say hi was a talking clownfish. But anyway, here he came, on a wheeled cart being pulled by a house-elf.

Codex probably would recognize the creature in the cage hanging outside the tank wall as a tribble, but she might wonder why there was a black and white cat curled up on a pillow next to it, not making any move to eat the fishie.

"Hi!" Nemo said. "I like games! Back home we sometimes play Who Can Swim The Fastest?, but I'm not very good at that one, cuz I have a lucky fin." Nemo waved his right fin, which was indeed smaller than his left fin. "But I'm very good at Who Can Hide the Bestest!"

With that, the little clownfish dove into the tentacles of the anemone in the corner of his cage. After a moment, once he was sure he had effectively disappeared, he poked his snout out between the undulating pink strands. "See?" he asked, giggling a little.

"I'm Nemo," he added. "I'm a Gryffindor!"

[codex-of-good.livejournal.com]

Okay. After the talking horse and the naked guy, she had been taking solace in the presumed fact that those would be the weirdest things she saw all day.

Until, of course, the walking menagerie showed up and introduced itself. Himself. She assumed the fish was a he. "Hi," she said weakly. "I'm Codex. I'm... very confused."

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

"I want to play a half-ogre paladin's hat," announced the hat. "Make sure I have a high charisma score and lots of spell components. I like my characters to be realistic."

[codex-of-good.livejournal.com]

Codex opened her mouth. And closed it again. And opened it, and closed it once more for good measure.

"...if I had a character sheet, I could try to write it up for you? I don't really play tabletop games, but... I mean, it's not that hard."

Ravenclaw!

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

Your bribe has been accepted!

Welcome to Ravenclaw!