hh_mirror | totally and completely anonymous compy post

((XD))

Nathan was not built for this marathon shit, which became painfully clear by the time they reached the area leading to Hufflepuff's food library and common room. He was panting heavily and having to really concentrate on his steps so he wouldn't stumble.

"FUCK YOU!" he bellowed despite being out of breath. "I'm not in love with that fucking clown!" And Skwisgaar, damn him to hell, barely even seemed winded. Nathan was definitely slowing down when they reached the dorm area, and looked a bit green. "Jesus... hold... up," he ground out between panted breaths, slowing nearly to a walk and reaching out to steady himself against the wall. "I think I'm gonna puke. You could at least come back here and let me hit you first."

Sadly, by then even if he did catch Skwisgaar, he'd be more likely to collapse on the Swede than actually punch him.

Toki was in the hallway, having summoned up the courage to leave the room he was sharing with Skwisgaar, since the big lizard-thing was nowhere in sight. It was a seriously metal lizard-thing, but, he was still nervous about it. He was tired of babysitting the Shoggies, who wouldn't let him do anything in peace until he stuffed them into their drawers, which worked surprisingly well, and he'd snuck out before one of them could decide to come out (none of them had yet, incidentally). But, before he could go find somewhere to get nicely drunk, he heard Nathan and Skwisgaar hollering.

He saw them shortly after hearing them, and watched confusedly as Skwisgaar came running down the hallway with Nathan apparently trying to chase him down, and threatening to hit him. His first impulse was to start shouting at Nathan, which he did. "Leaves him alone, Nathan! He almost died!" His next impulse, which was to keep Nathan from chasing Skwisgaar by charging Nathan and stopping him however he had to, was derailed. Toki didn't think Nathan seemed to be doing a very good job of running after Skwisgaar, and he could probably wait for him to get there to start psychotically defending Skwisgaar if he had to.

But he wasn't sure what they were yelling about, and Skwisgaar was laughing- something about clown-love? Which was pretty damn funny, especially since Nathan now looked like he was going to be sick, and was the one being accused of clown-love. So he rushed up to Skwisgaar, and yelled at Nathan, "Yous the clown-lover, Nathan? That's so great! Because clowns needs love too and stuffs. . ." and started laughing his ass off.

THEN WHO DID YOU KISS, SACK JOE? HOW MANY OF THE MEN OF HOGWARTS HAVE YOU GRACED WITH YOUR LIPS?!

I haven't given my name, what makes you think I'm this - Joe person?

HOW ELSE WOULD YOU KNOW WHAT IS BEING TALKED ABOUT? YOU ARE SACK JOE AND YOU ARE MAKING YOUR CONQUESTS KNOWN! OR YOU ARE THE SEXY MONSTER KIRA! OR YOU ARE PYARAY HIMSELF! OR YOU ARE THAT MAN WHO KNOWS THE SECRETS OF PYARAY (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1798111.html)!

THERE IS A MONSTER CONSPIRACY AT THIS SCHOOL! I AND MY DEPUTY PREFECT WILL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS!

Okay, you know what? Fuck you.

Detention for you too

All right, it's me. I'm going to make this very clear. I am not a monster, I'm not part of any 'monster conspiracy', I am not romantically involved with the giant squid or with anything that could be described as a monster, and for the last time, 'Sack Joe' is not my name.

And Kira has been popcorn for months.

FEAR NOT, SACK JOE. I KNOW THE MONSTERS ARE MAKING YOU WRITE THESE THINGS. WE WILL RESCUE YOU.

Nobody's making me write anything!

WE WILL BRING A FOOD CALLED GRANOLA FOR QUICK ENERGY.

(Mikami gave up on the conversation at this point. Anything he said would only cause it to descend further into madness.

It was only later that he realised he should have thought to ask who the deputy prefect was, in order to avoid them...)

Skwisgaar was definitely a bit winded, just not to the point where he sounded and looked like he might die, as Nathan did -- and mainly because he'd been laughing so hard while running. He slowed as Nathan did, grateful he finally seemed to be giving up the chase, since they'd be hitting a dead end soon. He eventually stopped altogether when Toki came up to him, and bent with his hands on his knees as he struggled to catch his breath, still laughing as he was.

"Nat'an's reallies mad about beings in loves with your pal Rockzo," he gleefully informed Toki, clutching his side as he felt a stitch starting. Running like that hadn't felt too great with his torso still being so bruised up, but it had been worth it. "You should haves seen him jumps overs de desks! He knocks over all de computers, he was so mads about his gay clowny love beings discovereds. Dey's goings to double teams France on deir honeymoon and everythings."

Despite Nathan looking like he really was going to hurl at any moment, Skwisgaar didn't trust him not to punch him if he got too close, so wisely stayed where he was, with Toki standing between them. It really would be great to see Toki and Nathan duke it out, if it came down to it.

((How did I miss this?))

Dieter did not put himself down as the gayest man in the school, as he found the label restrictive. However, if it was information about sexuality or sex the anonymous poster was after, the tennis player was a font of knowledge.

I may be able to answer your questions. I can provide references or demonstrations if needed.

-Dieter Prohl, Ravenclaw (in the sauna!)

Dieter was, if anything, a helpful person.

Nathan was surprised to see Toki there, and startled by his yelling—in defense of Skwisgaar? What, he was going to continue being Skwisgaar's attack dog just because he'd almost killed the Swede himself?

"Skwisgaar started it," he growled, leaning against the wall as he tried and failed to catch his breath. He certainly wasn't much of a threat to Skwisgaar at the moment. "And fuck you too! You're the one in love with that creepy clown asshole, if anyone is. Always fucking inviting him into Mordhaus and letting him feel us up in our sleep... God, I hate that guy."

He flagged down a house-elf and growled at it to get him some beer. "I don't even know who that France jackoff is, but he better stay the hell away from me," he said huffily. He definitely didn't want to catch any gay cooties. Bad enough the entire school was probably infested. ~~His attraction to Ofdensen totally didn't count as gay, and had happened long before coming to Hogwarts, anyway.~~ He warily eyed his bandmates as he moved to sit on the ground, muttering to himself, "I have really let myself go..." And when had Skwisgaar become a fucking track star? Maybe it was the snow diet as a kid.

Toki hadn't been around for the beginning of the incident, but even he wasn't quite clueless enough to miss that however it began, Nathan was was pretty riled up by it, and Skwisgaar obviously found it funny as hell. This meant an excellent opportunity for making fun of Nathan, and he wasn't going to stop just yet. He just laughed all the harder at Nathan accusing him of clown-love- his reaction to the goading was just too hilarious. "Don't lie, Nathan, you loves him, and yous gonna have such a good times on your honeymoon in France! I'm so happies for Dr. Rockso!" He hadn't figured out anything about the whole countries-as-people thing yet, and so entirely misunderstood the bit about France. "You don't have to be embarrassed about your gay clown-loves, it's ok!" Considering how hard he was laughing, his words weren't meant to be reassuring in the least.

Even though it looked like Nathan wasn't going to be attacking Skwisgaar anytime soon, he stayed close to him, laughing until he was nearly in tears. He didn't believe any of Skwisgaar's accusations were true, but Nathan's reaction to them was hilarious enough that he wasn't going to let him forget.

Upon seeing the anonymous post, Michael immediately typed in the following:

But just as he was about to post his reply, he realized that there was someone gayer than Toby -- gayer in a ~*~*gay*~*~ way, as opposed to just a gay way. So, he deleted what he wrote and typed in this:

Once again, however, just as he was about to post the reply, he stopped and deleted. The final reply was the following:

Lezard had begun to despair of finding anyone gayer than Kurama, whose prior acquaintance with Lezard made him ineligible as a guru of gayness. Michael Scott's post gave him fresh hope.

He answered promptly:

Lezard had decided that a good acronym for this diagnostic would be SAG. Self-Assessment of Gayness. If he typed it out, however, some narrow-minded cretin would surely insist on including an O, which would make it SAOG, considerably less catchy as acronyms went.

Michael had no idea what a "nom de plume" was, but it sounded gay, so that was fine. After about two minutes of trying to figure out how to spell "Yessssssssh," he replied thusly:

And at this point, he started cracking up so hard that his fist accidentally hit the keyboard and sent the post, even though he had been planning to write more, because the reply needed at least one more joke. Oh well!

This was the stuff Michael lived for! After typing his post, he practically ran over to the chaw parlor and waited excitedly for his mystery guest of gay (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1848451.html).

totally and completely anonymous compy post

no subject

no subject

BEOWULF

Anonymous

BEOWULF

triontimetraveler

benefit_world

BEOWULF

benefit_world

BEOWULF

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Brokeback_Michael

anonymous

Brokeback_Michael

anonymous

Brokeback_Michael