Major General Jack O'Neill (Stargate Atlantis and SG1)

[aka-macgyver.livejournal.com]

(Cleared with the other two active Stargate characters)

Jack awoke with a start. He lay still as his eyes scanned the dark barren stone room. After determining it was clear Jack sat up and checked his gear, everything was in order. "What is this place," he thought. "The last thing i remember is walking through the gate on my way to Atlantis. But now i'm here. Why? The Azgaurd? Another solar flare and time jump?" Since the room had no doors or windows it seems his only choice is to wait and find out.

1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
American cheese. I like the taste and love my country.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
I would kill Carrottop, can't stand the guy. And plus the fact my son loved Barney.

3. What time is it where you are?
1440

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
I wouldn't harass anyone. That is unbecoming conduct for an air force officer and is an offense you can be court martialed for.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
The Blind Man

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Relationships are not my strong point, but what the hell, I'll give it a shot. Maybe some of the stuff i learned from Daniel will come in handy here. Well i would say Harry and Fred would be better off together in the end. Athena, that one god that loved everything pretty, right? Well Fred and Harry sounds better than George and Harry. Um, thats all i got.


C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
After many years of paperwork i have come to the conclusion there is someone just making this stuff to keep us busy.

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.
I saved the world, multiple times.

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Well if i can get back to my freezer at home i can cook up some beer battered fish. Caught them myself. Or if you have some fish and beer around here i can cook them here.

"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____JO______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____JO______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ____JO______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____JO_______"

Comments

[noseymaddie.livejournal.com]

"Bloody Yank," Maddie snarks.

Sorry, she's not to fond of the American Army.

They locked her up...can't blamer her, can you?

"Who let you in?"

[aka-macgyver.livejournal.com]

"I'm not sure," Jack replied cooly. "I'm still waiting for somebody to tell me what is going on."

[chaotic-miles.livejournal.com]

A short man with entirely too much energy came hurrying into the Sorting Room. He read over the application and then saluted.

"What kind of things did you do as a member of the Air Force?" Miles Vorkosigan wanted to know. "A friend of mine finds Terran military history fascinating, and he'd be envious as hell that I've actually gotten a chance to speak to someone in the actual American military."

[aka-macgyver.livejournal.com]

Jack turned around to meet this new arrival and began a long explination,"
In the deserts of Egpyt a device was uncovered. This device was a large metal ring. That allows you to travel to other worlds by a entering a combination of seven symbols found on the gate.

This all started when i was a Colonel. We spent many years fighting an evil race of beings known as the Goa'uld. They wanted to enslave humanity and destroy anyone who could threaten them. During our exploration of new worlds through the Stargate we made friends with many new races. And we also made a few enemies.

That was many years ago though. Since then we discovered a way to travel to a whole different galaxy. To the lost city of Atlantis, city of the Ancients, creators of the Stargates. And also a new enemy emerged. The Wraith. They feed off the life energy of humans, like leeches. The new front is there.

Currently i am an Major General and i head the Department of Homeworld Security on Earth. That is what i have done in a nut shell."

Jack then scanned the room again looking for more new faces.

[aquilus-albel.livejournal.com]

Albel raised an eyebrow. "You're with the Terran military, then? Albel Nox, general of Airyglyph's Dragon Brigade."

[aka-macgyver.livejournal.com]

Jack tightened the strap on his P-90 and rotated it behind him. Then approached this Abel Nox, extended his right hand and replied, "Major General Jack O'Neill, United States Airforce and Department of Homeworld Security."

[methleigh.livejournal.com]

Severus is not sure what he might have in common with this man. He introduces himself simply, hoping for some glimmer of insight beyond the obvious military jingoism. "Professor Snape, Head of the Hospital Wing, former Defence against the Dark Arts Professor and former Potions Master."

[aka-macgyver.livejournal.com]

Jack surveys the skinny, almost sickly looking man. And jack repeats his all to familiar title, "Major General Jack O'Neill, United States AirForce and Department of Homeworld Security. A pleasure to meet you professor Snape"

And Jack extends his right hand preparing for the usual gesture.

[king-of-flirts.livejournal.com]

"So what about saving the world, plenty of us here have saved the world a few times." So what if he'd been the cause once...

[aka-macgyver.livejournal.com]

Jack did not like to be arrogant or rude. But this being seemed to strike a nerve. So O'Neill replied with a little ice in his voice, "I also withstood torture and multiple deaths while saving it."

[ringoate-mybaby.livejournal.com]

"Saving the world," Oz muttered. "People here tend to do that."

[aka-macgyver.livejournal.com]

"I have noticed also that people who save the world have to save it because of their own mistakes once in a while," said Jack in a slightly comical voice.

[omg-sunflora.livejournal.com]

"Oh my gosh! You saved the world?"

[aka-macgyver.livejournal.com]

Jack was startled by the appearence of this new creature, but quickly replied, "Yes, i have saved it a few times."

[ringo-raver.livejournal.com]

"You'd fail, you know. The guy you call CarrotTop still has some life in him."

Once upon a time, Ryuk had considered killing CarrotTop for his lifespan, but decided against it and went for a bystander instead.

[aka-macgyver.livejournal.com]

Looking at this odd creature gave Jack an uneasy feeling. It somewhat reminded him of Anubus. "How would you know i would fail to kill him," O'Neill asked the creature.

[iam-beowulf.livejournal.com]

"I AM BEOWULF!" said Beowulf. "I LIKE FISH AND BEER."

[aka-macgyver.livejournal.com]

After his inital startlement Jack surveyed the man. Very muscular and a powerful apearance. "I am Major General Jack O'Neill," Jack said walking over to Beowuf. "Nice to meet you Beowulf, I aslo like fish and beer. Maybe me and you should have us a fish fry sometime?"

[do-me-a-solid.livejournal.com]

A very large, lumbering anteater with long teeth and sharp claws sauntered up the new arrival. He sniffed him quickly, and looked as thoughtful as an anteater could look.

When he spoke, his mouth didn't move, its as if the words were heard by the inner ear without having to travel to get there. "Saving the world, eh? I've met a lot of people like you in my line of work, Wesley," he said in a very cool, very human voice.

[aka-macgyver.livejournal.com]

Jack was startled to the point he almost drew his sidearm, but he quickly calmed himself. "Nice to meet you," Jack said some what shakily. "I am Major General Jack O'Neill. If i may ask, what exactly are you?"

[tako-time.livejournal.com]

If Tako could snap, he would, in the "Oh no you di-int!" kind of way.

"American cheese!" he gasped. "How could you?"

[aka-macgyver.livejournal.com]

Jack turned to meet the newest creature in the room. "And what is wrong with American cheese" asked Jack casually.

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

"Ooh, an American," the Hat announced. "Yes, we have quite a few of those. Not one of them had eyes that changed colour with her mood and wanted to marry Harry Potter, thank goodness."

[aka-macgyver.livejournal.com]

Jack was quite puzzeld from the hat's statement but shook it off and answered, "Hello, you must be the Sorting Hat everyone was talking about. I am Major General Jack O'Neill."

Jack would extend his hand to shake but he could see no visible apendages on the hat.

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

There is only one house fit for striders!

Your bribe has been accepted.

Welcome to Gryffindor!