The Unpopcorning of Light Yagami. Open RP

[darkwithoutme.livejournal.com]

Awareness was the first thing to come to Light, but it might as well not have because the only thing that came forth was nothingness. Am I dead?, crosses the mind briefly before descending back to nothing. It feels cramped in this space, but also as if it goes on forever. That doesn't make sense, but it is all there is to feel. Memories float back lazily like clouds, but of where Light Yagami is currently or what he did just before escapes him. The last thing he remembers is finding out that Yotsuba has been proffiting off of Kira's power. Then, hearing comes back with the sound of a great

POP!

Suddenly there is floor under him, and butter all over him. Light lifts his head and sight returns just before the smell and taste of butter overpowers everything momentarily. Once he get's over the fact that there is butter everywhere, Light takes a moment to check the rest of himself over. His hair is a mess, and he is wearing a green sweater with the Slytherin insignia on it that goes well with the green socks and black shoes on his feet, although the socks are covered by tan pants. On one wrist there is a waterproof (hopefully butter proof too) watch, the other has a handcuff locked on it. Light's eyes trail down the chain of the handcuffs, only to find that Ryuzaki is nowhere to be found.

"Is this another test, Ryuzaki?" Light wonders aloud as he stands up to see if the door of this room is locked. It wouldn't surprise him if this was a test, as Ryuzaki already seems to be off his rocker about certain things, but it also would be unsurprising if this wasn't L's doing. Wouldn't he be covered in something sweeter than butter if this was L's idea? Then again if not L then...?

The door is unlocked, so Light wanders into the hallway in search of a washroom or Ryuzaki, whichever is found first. The chain drags along the floor behind him, but his buttery footprints already cover the castle floor so Light doesn't bother to pick it up as he goes in a random direction.  

Comments

[darkwithoutme.livejournal.com]

"Not everyone gets homesick," but the rest of what Yuuri said does make sense. Even if Light doesn't see himself going out of his way for compainions, he'll still talk to the people he meets.

[effing-eff.livejournal.com]

Speaking of homesickness, Evan was dashing through the halls, convinced that he had been transported there by David Blaine (http://community.livejournal.com/hogwarts_hocus/1518693.html#cutid1). He stopped when he saw two boys, who looked relatively harmless (and cute in a Teen Beat way, but Oh. Em. Gee. he was not, like, a complete perv, alright?)

"Demons!" Evan squawked as he jumped up to the two younger students. "This school is filled with demons!" Nice to meet you, too.

[bowchickamaou.livejournal.com]

Whoa! "How did you know?" Yuuri yelped. "Are you from one of the countries neighboring Shin Makoku? Most people here can't even tell I'm half-demon!"

[darkwithoutme.livejournal.com]

Demons, huh. Well if Shinigami, the Death Note, and this school of magic are real. Then demons aren't much of a surprise after all. Yuuri being half-demon on the other hand, doesn't sit right with demon myths of them being terrible creatures, when Yuuri seems so kind and optimistic.

"Demons?" he asks anyway.

[effing-eff.livejournal.com]

Evan jumped and moved away from Yuuri to put Light between the demon (DEMON!) and himself. "What!? How can anyone be half-demon!? Did you have a demon mommy and were you hatched from an egg that BIT people!? Hungry people? Well, don't you DARE try any of that with me, you DEMON. Even if you have, like, demon magic mixed with demon kung-fu, which you might!"

He threateningly hissed over Light's shoulder, "I'll cut you!" He then made the sign of cutting scissors with his fingers.

He then turned to look at Light, and said with offense, "And I don't even know you!"

[bowchickamaou.livejournal.com]

"My mother is human!" Yuuri retorted, the imperative to defend his mother now overriding his general tendency toward diplomacy. "She doesn't lay eggs! What do you think I am, a baby dragon?! Not that there is anything wrong with baby dragons," he added automatically. "They should be conserved and protected."

As a matter of fact, Yuuri did have demon magic mixed with demon kung-fu, kinda sorta, but the kung-fu was generally enacted by giant golems he made of garbage or other random items, and the magic was ... not something anyone really wanted to see, unless they didn't mind their local ecosystem being destroyed. However, it only surfaced in response to EXTREME ACTS OF INJUSTICE (like piracy, or people being mean to bearbees).

"You don't need to cut anyone. No one is going to hurt you," he informed Evan. Yuuri's outbursts of indignation didn't last very long, especially when the target seemed to be in distress himself. Evan definitely seemed like he was afraid or worried about something. "This is Light Yagami. Light, were you hatched from an egg? There's nothing wrong with being hatched from an egg. I just happen not to have been. Also, Evan, I should probably tell you that if my mother ever does show up at Hogwarts and you say something like that to her, she might kick you in the, um, somewhere a guy doesn't like being kicked."

[darkwithoutme.livejournal.com]

"Technically a female's overies produces eggs, but in mammals the egg grows into an embryo when she becomes pregnate. And no, as a human, I did not hatch from an egg, Yuuri."

This other guy seems insane, or maybe just an idiot, so Light takes a step to the side so that he is no longer in between gentle Yuuri and Evan. It will be easier for Light if they get into a fight this way.

[effing-eff.livejournal.com]

Evan turned to stare at Light. "Ok, ew. You?" He pointed to Light. "Are the grossest human being I have ever met. And oh my God, I've been this close to catching Britney Spears in person, when she was, like, driving around with her babies on her be-cheetoed lap."

He then hissed at Yuuri. "You're a Demon."

[bowchickamaou.livejournal.com]

Yuuri did not know about Britney Spears or cheetoes. "Light isn't gross! It's not his fault he's covered in butter, and butter isn't technically gross anyway. You never know when you might become popcorn, and then you'd be covered in butter too," he pointed out sensibly. "And yes, I am a demon. Actually I'm king of the demons. That doesn't mean I'm going to attack you or anything like that. One of the most important parts of being the Maou is mending the relationship between Shin Makoku and the human countries."

Besides which, Yuuri didn't really attack anyone, ever (unless someone provoked the Maou form to emerge, in which case he grew a mullet and became something-more-than-Yuuri; it wasn't entirely clear whether Yuuri himself should really be held responsible for the mulleted Maou's doings). Try to assassinate Yuuri, and he'd adopt you into his family. Try to take over his country, and he'd invite you over for dinner.

[darkwithoutme.livejournal.com]

Light doesn't care about Britney or cheetoes (prefering chips himself), so the insult does nothing. Even if the guy didn't want to hear about the reproductive system, which is fine, Evan should have thought up a better insult than, 'eww, you're gross,' if he wanted it to have any effect. Yuuri's defence doesn't help either, because it's not the butter that is the problem. (or maybe it is part of the problem)

"King of the demons?" Being a demon is one thing, being king is another. Both seem to be absurd roles for Yuuri.

[effing-eff.livejournal.com]

"Butter? Ok, I don't know what you little kids are up to, definitely something a little bit more kinky and unhygienic than I ever did when I was your age, but I didn't come here to learn about vaginas, thank you." If he heard anything more about reproductive sex, Evan was leaving so hard.

Evan twiddled his fingers and said in a mocking tone, "Oooh, look out, it’s the King of the Demons. Big whoop, Kay oh Dee. Big Double-U. You know what? I’m the King of Your FACE." He raised a flat palm to jerk it toward’s Yuuri’s head, in a gesture that went out of the style sometime around the third Spice Girls single. "Do you want a hat? Aww, does the little kingy want a hat? Well, you’re not getting my hat, Mister Aristocrat." Evan didn't have a hat. "Or should I say, Mister Con Aristocrat. Artistocrat. Artist." Evan finalized his rant with a stern nod.

[bowchickamaou.livejournal.com]

Coyote? Big double-u? Evan's baffling taunts provided a welcome change of topic from the mention of, you know, private parts, said mention of which had made Yuuri begin to blush a furious pink. "If you don't know the difference between mammals and birds, then Yagami is trying to explain it to you. We're mammals and our mothers don't lay eggs! Demons are also mammals ..."

That's something Yuuri hasn't thought a whole lot about, but it's true. Mazoku are mammals ... aren't they?? He might need to ask Gwendal about this. Just to make sure.

"And you are not the king of my face. And I do have a hat, with bear ears. So I don't need yours. But if I didn't have a hat I wouldn't steal one!"

[darkwithoutme.livejournal.com]

"Ovaries are not vaginas. Also, I'm not covered in butter for sexual reasons," even if it may appear so.

Light doesn't feel like interveining between Evan's taunting and Yuuri, but this was getting boring fast. And the last time Light Yagami felt bored, well, it didn't turn out so great in the end. Although, he really doubts that being bored in this situation would lead to mass murder and his own death.

[effing-eff.livejournal.com]

Evan snapped as he turned to Light. "Don't you talk to me about vaginas when you're the one who looks like the preppy, sexually non-threatening one from a boy band! A bad boy band. You're NSYNC minus J.T., yeah, that's right I said it."

He made a face. "And why are you covered in butter, then? Oh. Em. GEE! Cannibals!" He waved his arms. "Run, this school has cannibals and they will effing eat your FACE and knuckles and ears."

[bowchickamaou.livejournal.com]

Yuuri made a face. Why did Light have to say stuff like I'm not covered in butter for sexual reasons? That was just ... ewww. Ewww on so many levels. All the talk about body parts he could sort of ignore because they were using the technical clinical term (and can you imagine Miko/Jennifer discovering the Vagina Monologues? I knew you could). But the rest of it, ewwwww!

"If there really were a cannibal tribe here, I'm sure we could go talk to them about their dietary preferences. I bet we could get them to agree not to eat us." Much safer topic of discussion.

[darkwithoutme.livejournal.com]

Because Light isn't trying to keep up an image, he can be as blunt as he wants. He doesn't care about what most other people think unless there is something to benefit from it. Yuuri is very optimistic and kind, he will forgive Light for being blunt. Evan is being annoying, so he can be offended and then leave. Light wont care.

Light doesn't know, nor care about NSYNC, so he goes onto the next point of discussion. "I just came out of a room labeling itself as the popcorn room, so it would be logical to believe that the butter is in relation to popcorn, not cannibals. And with how disgusting cannibals are, Yuuri, I doubt they'd change their dietary preferences if we just talk to them."

If words don't work for prevention against being eaten, there is always more forceful methods to use.

[effing-eff.livejournal.com]

Evan looked up at the sign declaring it to be a popcorn room, and then back at Light. He widened his eyes. "Boy, they're gonna crunch you like they've paid money to see Baby Momma and they're chewing the regret away." He shuddered and began to back away from both of them.

"You're a demon!" He pointed his index finger to Yuuri, thumb cocked up like a pistol. "And you're popcorn." He used his other index finger to point to Light. "Know who has two thumbs and two pointy fingers and who is getting the eff out of here before one of you eats the other?" Evan moved his thumbs together to form a 'W', his index fingers still extended. "Evan! So, thanks... for nothing."

Evan then began to dash away. "Buttery demons!"

[bowchickamaou.livejournal.com]

Yuuri heaved a sigh of resignation. Watching Evan flee, he just knew that sooner or later the man's anti-demon prejudices were going to be aired in the hearing of Wolfram. When that happened ... aiiiii.

"I'm really sorry to leave you like this, but I'd better go after him," he said to Light. "If I talk to him about demons, I'm sure he'll understand eventually!"

And the young Maou also dashed away.