And the truth shall be used against you in every way possible ((closed RP, Mello, Matt, A))

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

So, Matt and L...ouch, the thought alone hurts. But, Matt seems happy with L...or maybe I'm reading way too much into what I saw in the bar. Between finding out Near is indeed ticklish and practicing, though, I haven't had a chance to really find him and ask him. And, asking in the bar would have been...well, even I'm not that direct.

And, since I still want to be able to talk to him, I'm not sending him an owl.

So, I've been tracking him down. I start at the library, then the Great Hall, then his room. Why I didn't try here first, I don't know. It would have saved me time. I don't hear sounds of gaming as I knock, but there are some sounds behind the door.

Comments

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

"A chance?" I start and then stop myself. "What about you, are you giving him a chance?" I ask, leaning heavily on the word. Maybe it'll get his attention. Probably not.

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

He's too absorbed in what he's doing to really notice.

"I don't need to. We're already friends. What is it about him that bothers you?"

Yeah, he's taken entirely the wrong end of the stick.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I roll my eyes. "That is not the point," I snap. Maybe it'll get him to look at me, at least. I will not demand his attention and if I did, I think he'd throw me out. "I'm talking about you and L."

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, me and L are friends." To be entirely honest, Matt is only half listening. The computer boots up and he taps into it, before laughing.

"Look!" he says, shifting until he's sitting on his knees. As he types, the characters come up as Runes. "I just need to figure out the best way to create bindrunes with this thing... I'm thinking I create a couple manually for now. See which ones I use most often... Once I'm using them magically I should switch to red font," he adds. He glances up at Mello, grinning.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

Okay, he's in serious geek mode. If I snap him out of it, he'll be pissy at me. That's not what I need. But, he might reach a break soon, which would give me time to talk to him. I peer at the screen, frowning. "What language are you using as a base programing language. This doesn't look like any I know." I know a couple, Foltran, C and its variants, and most internet scripting. I frown. "You're writing it in BASIC?" I look at the screen again. "You want the computer to do magic?" I asked, a little puzzled at his goal.

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

"I want to put magic into the computer." He's grinning, triumphant. "Think about it. Charms against infiltration, charms against viruses. Adblocks of DOOM."

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I laugh, "A hacker's dream come true! Hack any system and no threat of being caught doing it. No traces. No way to link you to it and you get all the juicy information."

I shake my head. "Just think if a bad guy got a hold of this. But, then, they'd have to be smart enough to get past you, wouldn't they?"

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

"Yeah. It won't be a first line of defense, not by a longshot - I'm thinking more a safety net, underlying everything. It's too blatant the way it is now, you could spot it a mile off even if you didn't know what it was..." This is assuming someone could get past enough of Matt's security in the first place. "And I probably won't use it much while I'm actually hacking. Too easy. Maybe some of the tougher government-level stuff..."

He puts the keyboard down and stretches, grinning. "Not a bad start, though, right?"

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I laugh. "Should've known you wouldn't use it as a hacking device. Half the fun is the thrill of maybe getting caught." I glance at the screen again. "Looks like an awesome start." And now maybe we can talk. Though, I really would rather he had a different crush.

And, knowing him, he doesn't know he's got another crush.

"So, you're friends with L?" I know he wants us to call him Ryuzaki in public, but this isn't public.

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

"Totally." He's still itching to mess around with the computers some more, but it's reached the point where it'd be rude. He grabs a couple of chips from the open packet next to him.

"Yeah, I'm friends with L." He frowns. "What's happened? Did you guys have a fight or something?"

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

"No, not that. I haven't talked to him since. What...the reason I ask is..." Shit, how do I say 'I know you have a crush on him' without saying 'I know you have a crush on him'? "Have you considered..." Damn it!

"Look, what I mean to say is you seem to really like him."

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

"I told you, I do really..."

Comprehension dawns.

"... what the fuck, Mello."

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

Is it too late to pull innocent? Probably. "Just based off observation. That's all. I'm just asking. I'm not gonna do anything about it. Shit, man."

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

It's tempting to get angry - what, does Mello think he can't a friend without wanting to-- just because they've been hanging out doesn't mean--

But Matt knows how well that went last time, and. Well.

"... we're just friends," he says, letting his head fall back to rest against the wall. Fuck.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

If I didn't know him, I wouldn't have seen. I look at the wall over the bed. "He's not me," I mutter. Like that's not the understatement of the century. "Just because..." I can't bring myself to say 'I screwed up,' even if it is the truth. I look down at my lap. "He's not me," I repeat.

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

"I know he's not you, Mello," Matt tries very hard not to snap. "Jesus."

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I think I've utterly screwed up. And not just before. This whole conversation.

I search my pockets. Fuck, I forgot chocolate. "Look, can we...go to the Great Hall or something and y'know...talk about...something else for a while." A sort of attempt at a peace offering and apology.

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

Matt just sort of stares at him for a few moments.

"... fine. I need something to eat, anyway."

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I get off the bed. "If...if you don't want to talk about it with me, that's fine. I totally get that." Can't say I'd blame you, either. "But...don't be an ass about it either. And, I'm not saying anymore on it." For now.

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

Standing up (carefully, of course - he doesn't want to step on anything), Matt says, "I think you're jumping to a lot of conclusions. Just because I like someone doesn't mean - look, I agree, I don't want to talk about this right now."

Maybe once he's thought about it a bit.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I don't think I've felt more awkward around Matt, ever. I don't think I'm jumping to conclusions. I'm fairly certain I know the difference between like and like and I'm over 90% certain that what he feels for L is like.

And beating myself up for acting on impulse is not going to solve anything. I don't regret doing it, just that it makes Matt edgy now.

"Pull an all-nighter?" I ask, trying to think of something casual to talk about.

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

"Nah. I slept pretty well, but I woke up early and started fiddling with my computers. It wasn't even nightmares. Apparently all I need is adrenaline, booze and cake." He rolls his eyes.

Matt doesn't even like cake.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I relax a little when he said he didn't have nightmares. "Cake?" I can't stop myself from asking. He hates sweets, unless it's coke. Maybe I don't want to know. "Well, whatever. I'm glad you slept well."

We reach the great hall and pause in the doorway to look around.

[i-am-an-hero.livejournal.com]

And A's in the great hall already, ignoring the tables to sit crosslegged in one corner. He's got a plate of home fries and sausage, which Schrodinger is determinedly trying to steal. Rather than object, A cuts off a few kitten-bite-sized pieces for her. He's never had sausage before that he can remember, after all, and sees no reason why she shouldn't try some as well.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I spot A and Schrodinger playing in the corner. Damn it, this is just not my day. But, I kinda like that cat. I walk into the room, slowly making my way over. I'd rather avoid A, but that has nothing to do with the cat.