And the truth shall be used against you in every way possible ((closed RP, Mello, Matt, A))

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

So, Matt and L...ouch, the thought alone hurts. But, Matt seems happy with L...or maybe I'm reading way too much into what I saw in the bar. Between finding out Near is indeed ticklish and practicing, though, I haven't had a chance to really find him and ask him. And, asking in the bar would have been...well, even I'm not that direct.

And, since I still want to be able to talk to him, I'm not sending him an owl.

So, I've been tracking him down. I start at the library, then the Great Hall, then his room. Why I didn't try here first, I don't know. It would have saved me time. I don't hear sounds of gaming as I knock, but there are some sounds behind the door.

Comments

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

"I really did mean just today," I repeat, slower. "I just...Ryuzaki has a way of getting me to shove my foot in my mouth, y'know." Oh, god, I really hope he doesn't think I meant sleeping with him. Yeah, it made things weird, but I wouldn't ever call it a mistake. I reach over and touch the back of his hand. "Just today," I repeat, hoping I really don't have to explain more. "And, I'll work on keeping my temper around Ryuzaki, okay?" Not that that'll be easy, but for Matt, I can try.

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

"Okay. That'd be cool." Matt looks at Mello's hand over his, expression unreadable.

He thinks - he isn't sure what he thinks. He'd prefer to have a little more time to go over this in his head.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I get the horrid feeling that I've seriously messed things up. I take my hand back and wrap it around the awful hot chocolate. I feel myself huddle around it. "Maybe being direct is the wrong approach sometimes," I mutter. "I...I really am sorry about today. But, I want you to be happy, too." God, that sounds lame. I mean it, but it sounds lame.

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

"It's fine, man, chill out." He rubs his forehead, above the goggles. "I think - I don't think I do, but I'm not... it's cool."

He takes a handful of fries. God.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

My thumbs trace patterns on the mug. "You figure I'll ever learn not to make an ass of myself?" I ask, trying to laugh at myself. I probably am just making myself sound more like an ass.

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

Matt laughs anyway. "Nah. Probably not. I mean, I've been waiting for it to happen since we were eight."

Yeah, yeah, Mello's a year older than him. Whatever.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I turn to him, smiling sardonically. "Well, why break a trend? It's more fun to have the idiots either pissed or afraid of me. Saves me time. And it's fun watching them get pissed or afraid."

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

"You're not in the Mafia now, man." Matt chucks a fry at him, grinning. "D'you miss it? The part where you have lackeys, at least."

It's nice to talk about something else. Like, really nice.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I'm so getting hit for this, but I can't resist. "What do you mean, miss the lackeys? I still have lackeys. What are you talking about?"

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

Throwing fries won't suffice, so Matt does indeed punch Mello on the shoulder.

"Fuck off, dude."

But he's grinning.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I laugh. "What? You want me to pay you? Would that make you happy? What's the going rate around here? Two fries a day?" I ask, pulling two fries from his plate.

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

"I'd be totally up for being paid. I need to buy more computer shit."

He ignores the blatant theft.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I roll my eyes and eat the fries. "You already forget how payment goes in the mafia? You pay me and I keep you around. Don't get your hopes up, hack!" I laugh.

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

"Oh, yeah, because I spent so much time in Mafialand," he laughs. (Yes, he had forgotten.) "Fine. You've had your two fries. This means I get kept around?"

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I pretend to think seriously about it, dragging it out.

"I suppose, for today..."

And then I laugh again. "Hell, man, I'd keep you even if you didn't pay."

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

"I'm touched." But no, he appreciates the sentiment. "Not that I'd do much good in the mob, heh."

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I shrug and steal more fries. Anything to cut the sugar of the cocoa. "I dunno, a good hacker can make a place for themselves anywhere."

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

"Eh. I think I prefer working myself - it keeps your options open, y'know? I've had offers before."

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I nod. "Makes sense. If it hadn't been for the need, I probably wouldn't have gotten into the mafia, either. Goons are just weird. I'm not sure if that's because I was thirteen or if they're weird in general, but 'works well with others' wasn't ever stressed at Wammy's or in the mafia." I shrug. "But, it's worth learning," I say, thinking more of our current situation.

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

"Working well with others, you mean? Depends on the context."

He'd rather chew off his hand than work with someone on one of his projects.

"What would you have done? I mean, assuming the L thing wasn't an option."

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I open my mouth to say something only to realize I don't know. "I...even in the mafia, I never thought about it," I whisper. There never was anything else we were allowed to think about. I never even really thought past the end of the Kira case.

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

Matt gives him a sympathetic look.

"You can think about now, maybe? I mean, we can do whatever we like... we don't exist here," he says suddenly. "There's no seventeen-year-old Matt or Mello running about."

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

Trying to pull myself away from the abyss of 'life with no goal' I turned to Matt and said, "I'll think about it if you think about how you feel about L." Probably not my best deal, but I'm sure it's equally traumatizing.

[gamerspy.livejournal.com]

"..."

Matt stares at him for a moment. Then rubs his forehead.

"Fine. I'll think about it."

He was going to, anyway.

[mello-n-choco.livejournal.com]

I nod. "And, I'll think about it..." I swallow hard. A problem with no solution. What does a driven, over-achieving, too smart for their own good, doesn't work well with others genius do for a living if not be L?