Application for Near from Death Note

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

Application for Near from Death Note

(Note: Near is taken from after the close of the series, following the recent one-shot chapter.)


Cautiously, Near padded into the unfamiliar room, glancing about in bland curiousity. He didn't recall how he'd come to be there, and that was somewhat disconcerting. Still, it was therefore a puzzle, and solving puzzles was what Near lived for. When he spotted the application, his curiousity was piqued further. Perhaps he might learn something from the nature of the questions.



1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?

That seemed like a nonsensical question. Perhaps it was meant to put him off his guard. "Whatever's handy, I suppose. Brie, maybe. It's easy to spread on crackers." Hard to imagine a question like that being too revealing.

2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?

Now, this was something he'd have to tread more carefully answering. "Have either of them commited any major crimes? At times criminals resist arrest violently. Sometimes killing them becomes essential to prevent them from harming others. And of course, if they've commited sufficiently heinous acts, the death penalty might be called for. But in either situation, I wouldn't kill them directly. I could, perhaps, see how solving their crimes might lead someone to the conclusion that I had some hand in killing them."

3. What time is it where you are?

Another neutral question. It was almost as if a lie detector was being calibrated, but he saw no evidence of one. "Right now, 'where I am' is here, and I hate to admit it, but I don't know what time it is here, seeing as I don't know where here is. It was not quite five p.m. where I was."

4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.

Another odd question. "I'm afraid I don't know who you're talking about. And sexual harassment is against the law, you know." Granted, it was a fairly minor transgression, and one he'd resort to if it might help solve a real case.

5. If you are pushing to be in:

A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.

"Bartend?" Definitely trying to put him off guard. "I doubt I'd ever be tending bar. Although if I were to name one, I might call it the Abecedarium." Damn Had he been tricked into saying something revealing? No... no, that didn't give anything away.

B. Gryffindor – Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.

Now, this one was just boring. "Again, I'm afraid I don't know these people, so I can hardly be expected to give a helpful answer. And if you're going to bring mythology into it, then it's going to be an ugly situation all around. Love triangles in myths and legends almost always turn into bloodbaths."

C. Ravenclaw – You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.

Near tried not to snort at that one. "You're disorganized. Come up with a filing system, or get an assistant to do it for you."

D. Hufflepuff – Prove you are not useless.

That was a trap. That was definitely a trap, and he would have to answet carefully. "I'm not bad at solving problems. I suppose you could call me a consultant. I've helped people before."

6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.

...what? Near felt in his almost-empty pockets, trying to find something that would qualify. Finally, his hand emerged, clutching something small.

A finger puppet.

A white-clad finger puppet, with dark hair, its 'chest' emblazoned with an L.

After all, Near didn't need it anymore. He was L now.

"This is all I have. You're welcome to it, if you'd like."






"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____N_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____N______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____N______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______N_______"

Comments

[ghostorangel.livejournal.com]

Silas shook his head. "No, this is no prison," he said. "Trust me." He'd been in prison, and it was much worse than anything at Hogwars could ever be. "I...believe that some of us have been granted a second chance. An opportunity to atone for our sins, and to--not right the exact wrongs we have done, but to perhaps balance them with acts of good."

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

"That is an optimistic viewpoint. From what I have seen if someone is evil they continue to be evil. And how much can you atone for? You mention resurrection, does this place reverse all crimes, then? Would it restore all the victims of a murderer?"

[ghostorangel.livejournal.com]

Silas's fractured mind was having problems now. "It does not reverse them, no," he said. "It merely gives you a chance to change. Not all who perform evil acts know what they are doing," he added, thinking of how he'd been used. "It excuses nothing, but those who have been...tricked...are sometimes the ones who wish to make up for it, even if only in a small way."

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

"I don't see how stupidity is an excuse. It doesn't make the damage any less. There's nothing worthwhile about letting yourself be used as a pawn."

[ghostorangel.livejournal.com]

And now came the agitation. "And if you do not know you are being used? If you find out too late that those you trusted--those who saved you--are only using you to further their own ends?"

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

"That is just ignorance! It isn't an excuse when it hurts people! It's just being unaware of your surroundings, worse than an animal."

[ghostorangel.livejournal.com]

Silas was growing very agitated now, pacing with his odd silent footsteps, his red eyes a little too bright, too hectic. "But...those who need someone to tell them what is right or wrong--who have no accurate sense of their own." He snorted bitterly. "Who are thought too mad to know the difference, who are told they need others--what of them?"

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

"Letting them be filled with someone else's sense of justice? Blind trust? Anyone who thinks they should control others is already a madman, so how can his words of right and wrong be trusted?" Near thought of Kira - Light Yagami- and of Mikami. Both had been mad, but Kira had preyed on Mikami's madness.

[ghostorangel.livejournal.com]

"Because...if they save you, if they are the only people who have ever shown anything even remotely close to kindness!" His words were still soft, almost whispered, but there was a frenzied, half-hysterical vibratto beneath them. "They tell you they are good, and they are unlike all you have known who were evil, and how are you to judge? How could you possibly know?" Still pacing, staring off into nothing.

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

So it was personal. "That is unfortunate, but it would not change what you have done. Even if you think you are right, crimes are crimes."

[ghostorangel.livejournal.com]

"And you say there is no way to atone for them?" he asked, his pacing slightly more frenetic. "That the sins you commit in the name and at the discretion of another can never be redressed?"

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

"Can you undo a murder?"

[ghostorangel.livejournal.com]

"No." He watched Near closely, wondering if the boy was tormenting him on purpose, or if he was simply in earnest. "No, you can undo nothing, but there is penance--real penance, not rosaries and prayers, but action, protection..." Silas was almost twitching now, remembering things he really didn't want to remember.

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

"Protection from others like you?"

[ghostorangel.livejournal.com]

Silas went quite still. Some of the madness left his red eyes, leaving them clear and sharp, if still slightly unbalanced. "Yes," he said quietly. "From others who are as I was, and from those who know the evil they do and do it anyway."

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

"And do you think that would comfort the families of the people you've murdered?"

[ghostorangel.livejournal.com]

He shuddered. "No," he said. "There is nothing that could. I cannot undo what I have done--I have control only over what I do now."

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

"So you think you deserve freedom?"

[ghostorangel.livejournal.com]

Again a pause, almost unhealthily thoughtful. "I am not free," he said. "I am bound to serve House Stark. It is...better, that way." Silas...couldn't handle freedom. He didn't know what to do with it.

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

Now, that was just peculiar. "House Stark?"

[ghostorangel.livejournal.com]

"A family here...several of them are..." He sought for a good word. "Zombies, you might say. They too died before they came here, but unlike me they did not properly return to life. I guard them, the dead and the living."

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

Well, that was weird, but... "What makes you think they're any better than the ones you served before?"

[ghostorangel.livejournal.com]

It said a lot about Silas, that he didn't even stop to consider how crazy his next statement would sound. "An angel told me so," he said softly.

[cardarchitect.livejournal.com]

He sounds like Mikami, willing to do anything for his 'God'. "And how are you so sure it was an angel, and not another trick?"

[ghostorangel.livejournal.com]

He blinked. "Why, she's here," he said. "She is not the only angel, either. I met the Archangel Michael at his Sorting." Yet again, perfectly serious, as though there could be no dispute.