House Call (and Maturin Call. And Zoidberg Call. Etc.)

[wolfram-jyari.livejournal.com]

Doctors of Hogwarts,

A prominent Hufflepuff is suffering!

Mere hours ago, one prominent Hufflepuff, called for the sake of his privacy His Majesty X Iruuy Ayubihs Smith John the King, began experiencing symptoms of what could be imminent blindness, cancer of the eye, pupil shingles, or something similarly terrible of that nature. Tragedy must be avoided, courageous actions must be committed, His Majesty the King must be saved!

A cause for His Majesty's tragic happenstance may already have been discovered. For the sake of His Majesty's privacy I cannot give you a direct image, but the muscles surrounding his eyes undergo regular transformations, from his natural state, which is similar to this, to a temporary one which physically resembles this.

Notice the stress this creates for the brow muscles! The danger is exacerbated by the fact that blindness may be a hereditary condition for the King. Furthermore, his brother and friend wear glasses. Coincidence!?

Aid! Conquer! Redress!

While awaiting your reply, I will do my part by yelling at His Majesty's disappointingly weak eyeballs.

Sincerely,

Sir Wolfram von Bielefeld
Betrothed to the Maou
Hufflepuff

Comments

[squinty-tempe.livejournal.com]

Sir Wolfram von Bielefeld,

I am not entirely sure as to where your informational process began or ended, how it may have strewn from its path so as to result in requesting my assistance. I would suggest, possibly, a different process for a later occasion, so as to achieve the best results, and, coincidentally, ones far more accurate than that which you may have gathered so far.

While my title may include 'Doctor' within it, Sir Bielefeld, I am more than likely not included within the assortment of individuals you were intending to target. I am a doctor, yes, but one of philosophy rather than the medical practitioner towards which you seem to be aspiring. My doctorate is one of forensic anthropology, the application of the science of physical anthropology and human osteology. My job is discovering the identification of deceased individuals whose remains are decomposed, burned, mutilated or otherwise unrecognizable.

In short, I deal with Bones, Sir Bielefeld. ...Eyes are not bones.

What you may be searching for is an ophthalmologist, a doctor who specializes in the diseases and surgery of the visual pathways, including the eye, brain, and areas surrounding the eye, such as the lacrimal system and eyelids. An optometrist, a health care profession concerned with eyes and related structures, vision, visual system and vision information processing in humans, may also be taken into consideration. Perhaps even an oncologist, considering mentions of cancerous situations within your letter.

A forensic anthropologist is not going to be sufficient aid when organs are involved, I am afraid. While it would be an honor to assist the likes of His Majesty, I cannot be much help in this field. Although, as a concerned bystander, may I suggest some sort of ocular correction? Laser surgery, or perhaps glasses?

Again, however, I must instill a warning involving your particular habits of fact-finding - or... "legwork", I believe is the slang word for the activity? One might think to investigate more punctiliously when he is in search of a doctor. Physicians, as a consequence, are not conscious entities all too difficult to unearth. An every day phone book, for example, will list such people by profession, in the yellow page section. Asking a friend may aid in your search as well, if asking an intelligent individual, perhaps one with more worldly knowledge than yourself? Books are another source used in finding certain answers one may need.

I strongly suggest Google.


Sincerely,
Dr. Temperance Brennan

[wolfram-jyari.livejournal.com]

To Dr. Temperance Brennan,

While you are not a medical doctor, your response may prove to be very helpful, as you seem to be quite knowledgeable surrounding fields of health. There is a possibility that through your studies you became a medical doctor without knowing it. Congratulations Dr. Brennan; if my theory is correct, you can now experience invigorating work as you prevent alive people from becoming decomposed, burned, mutilated or otherwise unrecognizable.

I studied medicine for several years while my country was at war and I was tragically too young to enlist; although I take pride in my fire magic, I am almost as proud of curing burn victims as I am in creating them. Therefore, can you begin your new life-work with His Majesty the King? Although you may not know much about eyes, there is a chance that the bones surrounding his eyes are causing this unhappy sickness, as I mentioned in the first letter.

Thank you,

Sir Wolfram von Bielefeld
Betrothed to the Maou
Hufflepuff

[squinty-tempe.livejournal.com]

Sir Wolfram Von Bielefeld:

The bones surrounding the eyes?

One must understand that in humans - I am assuming the subject in question is, in fact, a human, although, in this school, that could be quite a mistake, on my part - the adult skull is normally made up of twenty-two (22) bones. Except for the mandible, the lower jaw that holds all of the bottom teeth in place, all of the bones of the skull are joined together by sutures, which are synarthrodial joints formed by bony ossification. A matrix of connective tissue consisting of bundles of strong collagenous fibres, also known as Sharpey's fibres, permit some flexibility, but little to none at that.

Similarly, seven bones make up the orbit, this supposed area around the eye which you've mentioned. The frontal bone, which is... the one around the forehead area; the zygomatic bone, approximately the cheek; the maxillary bone, which runs alongside the bridge of one's nose; all these located in the front portion of one's skull - the face, respectfully. Inside, the spenoid, ethmoid, palatine and lacrimal bones also contribute to making up this orbit, the entire area around the eye, the volume of which can hold about thirty (30) milliliters. The eye only occupies six and a half (6.5) of these, respectfully.

There are, of course, several systemic connective tissue disorders that have potential to possibly affect the eyes - more specifically, veins and areas around the eyes. Polyarteritis nodosa, Kawasaki syndrome, hypersensitivity vasculitis... All of which include symptoms quite noticeable to a party as... attentive as yourself may be with someone of such utmost importance. Has His Majesty displayed any signs of fatigue, weakness, or abdominal pain? Cases also present, often, with other symptoms - muscle weakness, fever, conjunctivitis, chapped lips, or necrosis, with common localizations being around the forearms and legs.

Short of... receiving some sort of object into the eye socket, which could possibly, in turn, chip off a piece of the orbit, jarring the bone chip into the area surrounding the eye, perhaps, I don't think much else could have affected the man's eyes, directly. ... But the variables surrounding the situation would be astronomical. Also, I imagine His Majesty would have... probably reported something poking something into his eye.

I... might have understood that letter incorrectly. Sir, was I just offered some manner of job?


Sincerely,
Dr. Temperance Brennan