The Hat marries people, yo. (Open to those who signed up)

[ugly-old-hat.livejournal.com]

One bright Hogwarts morning, fliers with small, numbered Hat-shaped plastic tokens are sent out to a select group of students via house elf. “Your presence is required at an Awards Ceremony in the Great Hall tonight,” the flier states. “Attendance is mandatory. Formal dress is required. Prizes will be given.”

And so, at the appointed time, the students are ushered into the Great Hall. It has been lavishly decorated for the occasion: streamers, flowers, a champagne fountain, the works. At the front of the hall sits the Sorting Hat, likewise decorated in a wreath of flowers and lots of bling. It sits imperiously and waits until everyone has taken a seat and the beautifully decorated doors have been closed and barred.

“My dear students,” it begins, “we are gathered here today for a wonderful ceremony. A ceremony of magic and beauty, and it is my privilege to be here with you. Now, before you can get your wonderful awards--” here one of the Hat's folds dips in what might have been a wink on something with a face--”are you all carrying your special prize tokens?” It waits for a little longer while the attending house elves (all carrying bouquets of multicolored flowers) check to ensure that yes, everyone in the room has one on their person. “Wonderful! By the power vested in me by the Board of Education, I now pronounce you married!”

Before the shock and outrage can set in, the Hat rushes into the next part of its speech. “No use getting upset, it's legal now! This place has become a haven for loose morals, and you're helping to fix that! Don't worry about your belongings, you won't have to spend a second sweating and becoming undesirable for your new spouses! While you've been here, the house elves have moved your sundries out to your new homes for you, isn't that nice of them? They've even been allowed to charm your new homes so that you can't remove your objects from them! Let's hear it for the house elves!” It doesn't pause for applause. “Now, I'll let you happy newlyweds get to the business of consummating your new relationships in the name of duck waffles procreation. Your tokens are numbered with your new addresses, and a map has been provided at the door. Don't try to run, the ushers have been provided with cattle prods and given the permission to use them.” The Hat waves a strap at one terrified-looking bouquet-holding elf near the front, who pulls a cattle prod out of the flowers and waves it around. “And now, onward! Onward to happy families! Onward to El Mundo Del Sombrero!”

The doors open. The armed house elves swarm, herding the students to a tent village on Hogwarts grounds. Resistance is futile.

Once arriving at the tent whose number matches the number on their token, each student will meet his or her new spouse(s) ...



((The tents in El Mundo Del Sombrero are wizarding tents that appear to be one-bedroom houses complete with bathrooms, kitchens, living rooms, etc. inside. Rearranging and addition of objects is allowed, removal of objects for the purposes of moving elsewhere or returning to the castle is not due to the charm on the tents. Players are allowed to NPC the house elves shocking their own characters if an escape attempt is made. Note that characters will not be barred from returning to the castle later to do other things, e.g., use the library; they just can't move back into the castle. Congratulations on your nuptials.

Feel free to RP in this post, or to post your own separate posts that take place within the dubious sanctuary of your brand-new tent!))

Comments

[tallyhopippip.livejournal.com]

"Well, hang on, hang on!" George got out of the hot tub and dove into his tent. There was some rummaging, the sound of George taking off and putting on clothes, and he emerged from the tent in the dress. "How's this?"

[nervous-guy.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear sweet baby Jesus in a handbasket.

Doug didn't do much for a few long seconds. But stare. And blink once. And open and shut his mouth like a guppy. And stare some more.

Um. The dude was in a dress. What did he do?

"It's... nice...?"

[tallyhopippip.livejournal.com]

"I wore this in the concert party! Oddly enough, General Melchett thought I really WAS a girl, and proposed to me!" He said that a bit too cheerily, though.

[nervous-guy.livejournal.com]

"...Wow!" That was actually pretty impressive. "What'd you say?"

[tallyhopippip.livejournal.com]

"Well, I said yes. I couldn't refuse a general. Blackadder didn't like the idea though. Said something about Georgina dying so I didn't have to marry him."

[nervous-guy.livejournal.com]

"Aww." Doug frowned a little, looking as though he'd just been told that his puppy had died, rather than being told a story similar to that of a soap opera. "That's sad. So you're not married?"

[tallyhopippip.livejournal.com]

"No, no. I was fighting for Blighty, anyway, didn't have time for marriage. Still, won't the captain be surprised!"

[nervous-guy.livejournal.com]

Oh. "Well. You're married now, right?"

Oh, God, that was right. Back to the whole 'married' thing. He was married. Oh, God, oh, God.

It was almost unprompted that Doug's eyes rolled back into his head and he toppled over backwards in a faint.

[tallyhopippip.livejournal.com]

"Oh, good idea! Let's take a nap!" George lied down next to Doug and closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep.

[nervous-guy.livejournal.com]

He was only out for a few seconds. Doug came to about when George was lying down beside him, eyes blearily opening. This was a dream. This was a dream and he was not married to a man in a dress. Doug glanced over and blinked a few more times. Oh, bother. "Are you the wife or the husband?" Because he kind of wanted to be the husband.

[tallyhopippip.livejournal.com]

"Well, I guess if I've got the dress, that would make me the wife. Makes sense, don't you think?"

[nervous-guy.livejournal.com]

Hmm. "Makes sense!" he observed, nodding a few times. Cool! That meant he was the one with the pants in this relationship!

[tallyhopippip.livejournal.com]

"George St. Bartleigh-Murphy. Does have a kind of ring to it." George grinned at Doug.

[nervous-guy.livejournal.com]

Would that make him Doug St. Barleigh-Murphy? Or Murphy-St. Barleigh? No, he didn't think either. But who knew? Certainly not Doug - he wasn't exactly familiar with this whole... 'marriage' thing. "It does! So! I guess. You're uh. The wife!" He raised his fist into the air, in a reassuring sort of 'go team!' sort of way.